History Funny / Dishonored

*** Should Corvo leap into the bath with her, she panics and you get a NonStandardGameOver citing that the Loyalists disbanded due to "irreconcilable hostilities."

--> The nobleman laid with a scullery maid,/So loudly they made quite a riot;/ The nobleman's wife took a butchering knife/and carved herself some peace and quiet.
-->'''Mook 1:''' Heheh, oh, I get it! The wife done cut 'em both, right?
-->'''Mook 2:''' ...[[DontExplainTheJoke Yeah, that's the gist of it]].

-->There was a young sailor of Morley/Who fancied a woman most sorely./He gave her his cash/ She gave him a rash,/ And that's all, there isn't no more-ly!
-->'''Guard 1:''' So how old's your sister again?
-->'''Guard 2:''' I don't need shit from you.

-->'''Miss White:''' Waverly's in red tonight, that wanton thing.
-->'''Miss White:''' Waverly's in black tonight. In mourning for her reputation, I expect.
-->'''Miss White:''' Waverly's in white tonight. Perhaps she's pretending to be a virgin.

-->'''Partygoer''': "I even had my servants sew extra pockets on my costume for tonight."

* The Creative Kills video shows us a kill that is a bit of a mix of Nightmare Fuel and funny: stopping time right as a bullet leaves a guard's gun, possessing the guard, then running right in front of the time-stopped bullet, unpossessing the guard, reverting time back to normal and watching as [[VideogameCrueltyPotential he is hit with the very bullet he fired at you.]] That's taking HoistByHisOwnPetard to [[UpToEleven a whole new level.]]

*** Even better, Piero's response to being scolded is to plead with you to be discrete because he couldn't bare the thought of her knowing what he did. He does this by appeal to Corvo as both a man of honor and because Corvo ''could kill him at any moment with ease'' before politely asking him not to mention this incident, all in his usual monotone.

** Also, Esma Boyle's reaction to Corvo telling her that someone here to kill her. Please note that none of her dialogue is in any way sarcastic. [[SincerityMode She is completely serious]].

* Finding Piero peeking on Calista taking a bath. He tries to make an excuse and then admits that he's just rather lonely.

* The texts you can find in the game as incredibly varied, ranging from journal entries to the ravings of the insane to world-building texts to songs and poetry... and to badly-written pornography.

--> '''Lizzie:''' ''Two'' [[DispropotionateRetribution from you, Annabelle]]. ''Have a good night!''

--> '''Lizzie:''' ''Two'' [[from you, Annabelle]]. ''Have a good night!''

--> '''Lizzie:''' [[DisproportionateRetribution ''Two'' from you, Annabelle]]. ''Have a good night!''

--> '''Lizzie:''' [[DisproportionateRetribution ''Two'' from you, Annabelle]]. ''Have a good night!''

--> '''Lizzie:''' ''Two'' from you, Annabelle. ''Have a good night!''

--> There's a man in a boat keeping an eye on the slaughterhouse. If I weren't such a pure and innocent soul, I'd say he's up to no good.

* Taking out [[EvilSorcerer Delilah Copperspoon]] non-lethally is positively hilarious, particularly if she's already unconscious, because [[spoiler: Daud will complete the ritual for her. He throws her on the altar and (with deadpan delivery) says the chant, and she gets sucked into the Void. She grabs on to him, and he pimp-slaps her before she gets sucked in. Even if she completes the ritual with LargeHam stylings, her [[IronicHell final fate]] is infinitely amusing.]]

* Taking out [[EvilSorcerer Delilah Copperspoon]] non-lethally is positively hilarious, particularly if she's already unconscious, because [[spoiler: Daud will complete the ritual for her. He throws her on the altar, and she gets sucked into the Void. She grabs on to him, and he pimp-slaps her before she gets sucked in. Even if she completes the ritual, her [[IronicHell final fate]] is infinitely amusing.]]

** Also, Esma Boyle's reaction to Corvo telling her that someone here to kill her. Please note that none of her dialogue is in any way sarcastic. She is completely serious.

* The fact that Piero and Trimble where such horrible shots that their DuelToTheDeath had to be turned into a coin toss.

* There's a point in the flooded district where Corvo can come across a pair of assassins, one of whom is training the other. The student is told to cross from one side of the room - the side Corvo is on - to the other, without being seen. Corvo can then follow the student through the course, without being seen by either of the assassins.

* Bunting's nonplussed reaction to your footsteps being heavier.
-->'''Bunting''': Finally! I’ve been like this for twenty minutes. Your footsteps sound a little loud. Have you gained a little weight, honey? Just like last time, understand? Slowly, and only trigger the shock at my command, get it? And the safe word tonight will be… “retribution,” let’s say. You hear that, you stop. One shock out of line, and you are out of a job.

* When you duel [[spoiled:Daud]] he has some taunts that he throws your way. One of them cements him as a DeadpanSnarker.

* If you choose to go with the nonlethal route in the duel with Shaw, the two men helping still react as if he's dead... Despite the fact that he can be ''clearly heard snoring''. Not exactly students of Natural Philosophy, are they?

* The non-lethal takedown of Barrister Timsh in ''The Knife of Dunwall'' DLC is pure hilarity and [[LaserGuidedKarma poetic justice]]. [[spoiler: Barrister Timsh, the target of that level, amassed great wealth by accusing people of harboring the plague and confiscating their property for Lord Regent. If Daud tosses a smelly bundle into the ventilation system, the visiting Watch Officer complains that Timsh's building smells like a Weeper den, and Timsh hands him the document that he thinks gives him immunity from confiscation of property for the Lord Regent. Instead, the document he hands over is a falsified letter, claiming that his property was to be confiscated for the Lord Regent a month ago. Timsh is so shocked that he actually ''faints'', and the guard won't even carry him off because Timsh might have the plague.]] {{Schadenfreude}} doesn't begin to describe it.

** You can scold Piero and make him apologize, then proceed to look through the keyhole yourself.

-->'''Bunting''': Finally! I’ve been like this for twenty minutes. Your footsteps sound a little loud. Have you gained a little weight, honey? Just like last time, understand? Slowly, and only trigger the shock at my command, get it? And the safe word tonight will be… “retribution,” let’s say. You hear that, you stop. One shock out of line, and you are out of a job.