History Funny / ColdDays

** And there is the ''video montage'' Dresden suggests for said therapy. To the Foo Fighters' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax6UXyAXSZo "Walk"]] -- which is very appropriate on top of it.

** The other half of the pun: those familiar with the appropriate mythology will know their names literally mean [[spoiler:thought and memory.]] Hence, bird-brains.

** The fact that Demonreach also referred to Molly as "Grasshopper" is rather amusing.

'''Thomas:''' ''"Twenty-four hours."''

* Harry's completely naked, for perfectly good reasons, and under a bad veil. He ends up standing in-front of some people who can easily tell there is a veil. He knows that it is useless to keep the veil up for stealth purposes but instead drops it down to his own homemade [[{{Pixellation}} censor blur]].

*** Dame ''Creator/HelenMirren'' wielding a Browning M2 HB heavy machine gun in RED is quite close to that image, in case someone lacks vivid imagination.

-->'''Harry''': One day, one brave and magnificent day, I will actually be cool.

--> '''Thomas''': This will be good for twenty-four hours.\\
'''Molly''': What's the limit?\\
'''Thomas''': ''"Twenty-four hours."''

-->'''Thomas''': I even have a sextant.\\
'''Harry''': Any tent you own is a sex-tent.

** The other half of the pun: those familiar with the appropriate mythology will know their names literally mean [[spoiler: thought and memory.]] Hence, bird-brains.

-->'''Harry:''' How… random.

-->'''Mother Winter''': ''[as she's sharpening [[AxeCrazy her cleaver]]]'' Mab is too much the romantic.\\

'''Harry:''' Because if you don't, I… I… might pull your arms out of your sockets.\\
'''Lacuna:''' ''[frowns]'' …Why?\\

'''Harry:''' ''[counts mentally to ten]'' I'll… find something for you. Until then, no desocketing. Just wear the armor. Fair enough?\\

'''Harry:''' I… No. No, but thank you for the offer.\\

'''Maeve''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis They. Were.]] ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Diamonds!]]''

--> '''Harry:''' Hell's bells, you're identical twins.
--> '''Maeve & Sarissa''', ''at the same time and in the same tone of voice'': [[NotHelpingYourCase Not identical twins]]!
--> Maeve and Sarissa resume [[DeathGlare glaring at each other]].

* Harry realizing the Gatekeeper's job description is more literal than he thought. He's brought to see the Gatekeeper ''at'' The Outer Gates, and it goes something like, "Rashid the Gatekeeper? What is he doing here?" ''[stops, looks at the stupidly big gate he's standing right next to, realization sets in]'' "...Oh."

* Kris Kringle putting his foot down on Holiday Creep.
-->'''Kris:''' Not until after Halloween. Enough is enough, I'm drawing the line.

** The fact that Demonreach referred to Molly also as "Grasshopper" was rather amusing.

* Doubles as a [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome CMoA,]] but Harry casually flying the bird to the One Who Walks Before. That's right: He almost literally [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu flipped out Cthulhu!]]

* "Hey, weren't there seven of you guys a minute ago?"

-->'''Harry:''': It's not the craziest thing I've ever asked you to do. It's not even the craziest thing I've asked you do ''today''.\\

** Harry recalls naming the dock they built the [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny Whatsup Dock]], a pun so terrible that [[LamePunReaction Thomas reacts by throwing him twenty feet into the lake]]. After getting out, he then blasts Thomas forty feet into the lake, because hey, what else can a brother do in that situation?

* Molly's "Oh, my God...we're his flunkies!"

* Harry summons the CEO of Monoc securities (also known as [[spoiler:Odin]]) in hopes of procuring information. Their conversation is amazing:

** Their negotiation of price leads us to this:

'''Vadderung:''' He beats you senseless, I suspect.
* Harry's IncrediblyLamePun: Calling [[spoiler:Huginn and Muninn]], who are traditionally seen in the form of ravens, "birdbrains."

"Isn't that what Mab said, Harry?"

-->'''Butters:''' My God. You've been shot.\\

* For the first half of the book, Harry has been menaced by Captain Hook, a faerie who rivals Toot-Toot in the Badass department. The kicker. [[spoiler:[[SamusIsAGirl She's a girl.]] Toot-Toot couldn't say more than "Wow" for some time.]]

* Toot-Toot's attempt to court Lacuna and her response to it, which consists of punching him in the face and calmly going back to eating celery.

-->'''Harry:''' How random.
* It's right smack dab in the middle of a NightmareFuel moment, but Mother Winter is almost Batman-esque in her ability to be so unfunny that she's funny.

'''Harry:''' ''[narrating]'' Which tells you everything you need to know about Mother Winter.
* Harry gets a little fed up with Mother Summer being cryptic:

* All of Harry's dialogue with his new fairy vassal, Lacuna. Just all of it. Made even funnier by Marsters' performance for her.

'''Lacuna:''' I am wearing armor. For when it is raining arrows. Your T-shirt will not stop arrows.\\

'''Harry:''' Lacuna, humans wear clothes. It's one of the things we do. And as long as you are in my service, I expect you to do it as well."\\

'''Lacuna:''' ''[frowns]'' Why?\\

'''Harry:''' What?\\

'''Harry:''' ''[exasperated]'' Why didn't you say so?\\

'''Lacuna:''' Would you like me to cut open your skull and check, my lord?\\

* Harry has been loaned Cat Sith, a ''very'' powerful Fey of the Winter Court, as his BattleButler. Harry, being the Winter Knight and knowing that no subject of the Court can kill him without Mab's say-so, enjoys taunting Cat Sith despite knowing just how powerful the fey cat actually is. The clincher comes at his final attempt to summon him: "Cat Sith! Kittykittykitty!"

--> '''Maeve:''' I could see how therapeutic that dress was at his party.
-->'''Sarissa''': ''My'' dress? You were wearing ''rhinestones.'' And nothing else!\\
'''Maeve''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis They. Were.]] ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Diamonds.]]''
** Really, before it gets more depressing, the [[TheGloriousWarOfSisterlyRivalry whole conversation between]] [[FoolishSiblingResponsibleSibling Sarissa and Maeve]].

--> '''Maeve & Sarissa''', ''at the same time and in the same tone of voice'': [[NotHelpingYourCase Not identical twins]].

* The tail end of Harry and Murphy's big conversation about [[ShipTease their relationship]] and where it could be heading. It zig-zags between heartwarming, hilarious, and tear-jerking all at once.

* Raschid's words of wisdom intended to help Harry adjust to his new knowledge of how precarious the condition of all Reality is and his own major role in maintaining said Reality: "You get used to it."
* Doubles as a [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome CMoA,]] but Harry casually flying the bird to the One Who Walks Before. That's right: He almost literally [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu flipped out Cthulhu.]]
* Sarissa mentions taking Mab to Disney World. Just imagine that for a second. Freaking ''Mab,'' who terrifies Harry into not even being able to snark, going to Disney World [[spoiler:with her daughter.]]

-->"Look, Spanky," I said to Sharkface. "I'm a little busy to be tussling with every random weirdo who is insecure about his junk. Otherwise I would just love to smash you with a beer bottle, kick you in the balls, throw you out through the saloon doors, the whole bit. Why don't you have your people contact my people, and we can do this maybe next week?"\\

She rolled her eyes. "Hail, Ming."

*** More like A. Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Mab is hot.
*** Pretty sure that ''Creator/HelenMirren'' with a machine gun [[GrandmaWhatMassiveHotnessYouHave has that covered]].

'''Thomas:''' Check out Dr. MarcusWelbyMD, here.\\

* Harry sends the Wild Hunt away to help the battle elsewhere... and then Murphy reminds him [[OhCrap they're still on a motorcycle over Lake Michigan, and he just sent away the thing keeping the obvious from happening]].

* Harry summons the CEO of Monoc securities (also known as [[spoiler: Odin]]) in hopes of procuring information. Their conversation is amazing:

* Harry's IncrediblyLamePun: Calling [[spoiler: Huginn and Muninn]], who are traditionally seen in the form of ravens, "birdbrains."

'''Thomas:''' Check out [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Welby%2C_M%2ED%2E Dr. Marcus Welby, MD]], here.\\

* Sarissa mentions taking Mab to Disney World. Just imagine that for a second. Freaking ''Mab,'' who terrifies Harry into not even being able to snark, going to Disney World [[spoiler: with her daughter.]]

* Doubles as a [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome CMoA,]] but Harry casually flying the bird to the One Who Walks Before. That's right: He almost literally [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu flipped out Cthulhu.]]

* Harry's completely naked, for perfectly good reasons, and under a bad veil. He ends up standing in-front of some people who can easily tell there is a veil. He knows that it is useless to keep the veil up for stealth purposes but instead drops it down to his own homemade [[Pixellation censor blur]].

* Harry's completely naked, for perfectly good reasons, and under a bad veil. He ends up standing in-front of some people who can easily tell there is a veil. He knows that it is useless to keep the veil up for stealth purposes but instead drops it down to his own homemade censor blur.

* Discussing the classic Grandfather Paradox -- and recall Harry's grandfather is Ebenezer [=McCoy=]:

'''Vadderung:''' [[BadassGrandpa He beats you senseless, I suspect.]]

** Later in that scene, he calmly turns to Thomas and asks where that expression came from. When Thomas is confused, Harry clarifies that he's talking about the "swinging a cat" metaphor, which was just part of his internal monologue. Thomas more or less just rolls his eyes.

"Bother," I said. "Well, no one can say we didn't try. See you later."\\

* For the first half of the book, Harry has been menaced by Captain Hook, a faerie who rivals Toot-Toot in the Badass department. The kicker. [[spoiler:[[SamusIsAGirl She's a girl.]] Toot-Toot couldn't say more than Wow for some time.]]

-->I caught it. "Thanks. You're promoted to lackey."\\

-->"Next week is your self-deprecation awareness seminar," Thomas said.\\
-->I snapped my fingers. "What about the week after?"\\
-->"Apartment hunting."\\
-->"Bother," I said. "Well, no one can say we didn't try. See you later."\\