History Funny / Cheers

* Frasier tries chatting with Norm (he's not allowed to watch TV in the daytime), prompting Norm to tell Frasier he's starting to ''miss' Cliff.

-->'''Carla:''' Today it's how many bolts are in the floor, tomorrow they'll have him on to "if the ''Series/BradyBunch'' crashes in the Andes, who's going to eat who first?"\\

* The famous "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWjOiNx-WXk alternate ending]]" of the wedding, when TheyDo. Leave it to Sam and Diane to have the "I Dos" come out of an argument.

--->'''Tip O'Neill''': You know, I may run for office myself some day.
--->'''Norm''': ''([[SarcasmMode Sarcastically]])'' You do that. You're out of work too, huh?
--->'''Tip O'Neill''': [[ActuallyIAmHim No, I'm Speaker of the House of Representatives.]]
--->'''Norm''': Don't be ridiculous! That you make ''you'' Tip O'Neill, and me...
--->''(His face falls as he [[ExplainExplainOhCrap realizes who he's talking to]])''
--->'''Norm''': ...a horse's butt.
--->'''Tip O'Neill''': You said it, not me.

* An early one from Frasier, who is merely a FalseRomanticLead at this point. Having successfully helped Sam out of his alcoholic binge, he tells him Sam can call him any time, because there is no bond greater than psychiatrist and patient. Then his beeper goes off, and...

* Carla must go to Anger Management classes after attacking an obnoxious Yankees fan in the bar. When the fan returns to antagonize Carla, mocking the Red Sox, the Celtics, and finally the Bruins, she does not react. The Yankees fan dejectedly turns to leave...when he is confronted by [[OhCrap three Bruins players]] who'd been sitting in the corner watching his antics, and who promptly invites him outside to "show you some of the things that got me suspended."

* Frasier and Lilith's "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAb1W6FJ2qo debate]]" is one of the series' funniest scenes. On their end, DoubleEntendre. On Sam and Diane's end, HandsPlayInTheater and StrangelyArousing. All UpToEleven!

* Of course, Sam takes the badness UpToEleven by ''bringing a ventriloquist dummy'' on his [[http://youtu.be/QxaQ9cKYQXo?t=2m25s next outing]]. It's so bad, Carla exclaims, "Oh. My. God." and Rebecca mutters, "If either of them mention the bar, I'm ''suing''." The look on co-anchor Joanne's face is priceless.

* Once the karaoke machine arrives, [[ThoseTwoGuys Norm and Cliff]] singing "Lollipop" turns into a RunningGag. The hilarity is dialled UpToEleven when they sing it after having inhaled helium.

* After Hill inflicts a RantInducingSlight that has Sam launch into a rant about a "hairless king of the snobs". Woody [[ComicallyMissingThePoint thinks he was talking about Frasier]] and offers Frasier his condolences on being insulted out of nowhere like that.

'''Al:''' She tracked me down.
(...)
'''Sam:''' (''taking phone'') He'll call you back.

* After the Red Sox lose again, Carla gets on a bar stool and announces that she is no longer a Red Sox fan, and everyone else in the bar says the rant alongside her, showing that she had said it multiple times. Even ''Diane'' is reciting along with Carla - and she has only known her for a few weeks at this point.

* Carla must go to Anger Management classes after attacking an obnoxious Yankees fan in the bar. When the fan returns to antagonize Carla, mocking the Red Sox, the Celtics, and finally the Bruins, she does not react. The Yankees fan dejectedly turns to leave...when he is confronted by [[OhCrap three Bruins players]] who'd been sitting in the corner watching his antics, and who promptly invite him outside to "show you some of the things that got me suspended."

'''Cliff:''' - they drank steaming hot pots of tea on the hottest days of the year to balance out the inside and outside temperatures. See, conversely, drinking an ice cold drink on a cold day, eh, actually results in a more comfortable body temperature.\\

--> '''Sam:''' You know--while we're talking about ''problems'', you wanna know what ''really'', REALLY bugs me about you?
--> '''Diane:''' Fine!
--> '''Sam:''' [[FelonyMisdemeanor The way you eat]] ''[[FelonyMisdemeanor pretzels]]''! ''({{Beat}})''
--> '''Diane:''' ''Pretzels''!
--> '''Sam:''' Yeah, that's right--''three'' bites! Not ''two'', not ''one'' like the rest of us--but THREE BITES!
--> '''Diane:''' Do you want to ''know what "bugs" me about YOU''?!
--> '''Sam:''' Oh, I'd love to. What?
--> '''Diane:''' THE COLOGNE YOU ALWAYS WEAR IS TOTALLY WITHOUT ''NUANCE''!!!

* Unfortunately, Lillian thinks Sam's got the hots for ''her'' when he tentatively asks her if he could date her daughter. This leads to Sam successfully bluffing her into accepting that as much as Sam may lust after her, they have to keep a strictly professional relationship as employer and employee -- but then he finds out Lillian is so good at sex, [[OutWithABang men have died from pure pleasure with her.]]

'''Sam:''' ''(wondering if "like mother, like daughter")'' Well, that's tragic.\\

--> '''Cliff:''' Hey Carla, I've got a potato that looks like Richard Nixon.
--> '''Carla:''' Big deal. [[TakeThat Find one that doesn't, then get back to me.]]

--> '''Cliff:''' Men will do some pretty strange things to have a woman by their side.
--> '''Carla:''' In your case, inflate one.

--> '''Woody:''' Some girl wants to talk to the outlaw of love.
--> '''Al:''' She tracked me down.

--> '''Carla:''' He said he'd only been ''thinking'' about getting married until last night when you changed his mind. No way did he want to end up, and I quote "A lonely old skirt-chaser like Sam."
--> '''Norm:''' Blasphemy!
--> '''Carla:''' What did you tell my kid, huh?
--> '''Sam:''' Well, basically, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
--> '''Woody:''' Well, I'll tell you why: companionship, warmth on a cold night, someone to share your old age with.
--> '''Norm:''' You think he should marry her?
--> '''Woody:''' I thought we were talking about a cow?

[[AC:711:Adventures in Housesitting]]

* Carla claims Sam is in fact the father of her oldest son, Gino. Upon hearing this, Diane ''chugs the entire pitcher of the Step Into an Open Grave.

* Carla claims Sam is in fact the father of her oldest son, Gino. When Sam comes back in, [[BlatantLies having forgotten his keys]], it turns out Carla was lying her ass off, knowing Diane would never be able to keep the fact to herself. It's ''Coach'' who clues Diane in when he notes Carla's only been working for Sam for five years. Gino is ''seven''.