History Funny / BlackMesa

28th Jun '16 7:02:45 PM Andrzej
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---> '''Guard:''' Man, cease and desist, or some shit!

to:

---> '''Guard:''' --->'''Guard:''' Man, cease and desist, or some shit!



--> '''Guard:''' (noticing a marine miss him) Semper Fi, ya douchebags! (cue returning fire)
--> '''Guard:''' Go back to rifle class, Gomer!
--> '''Guard:''' Better stick to peeling potatoes, Skippy!

to:

--> '''Guard:''' (noticing -->'''Guard:''' ''[noticing a marine miss him) him]'' Semper Fi, ya douchebags! (cue ''[cue returning fire)
-->
fire]''\\
'''Guard:''' Go back to rifle class, Gomer!
-->
Gomer!\\
'''Guard:''' Better stick to peeling potatoes, Skippy!



-->//Inbound: Welcome to Black Mesa! Where hazardous chemical spills are a daily occurance!
-->//Anomalous Materials: Someone explain to me why Gordon's job inside the test chamber, couldn't have been done by a robot, or even a monkey...
-->//Unforeseen Consequences: This is what happens when you 'force' a computer to divide by zero.
-->//Office Complex: Unbeknownst to the staff, the cafeteria had been serving bullsquid for years.
-->//We've Got Hostiles: Hey guys, thanks for the rescue. Oh, what? A bullet with my name on it? Cool!!
-->//Blast Pit: There's an alien tentacle in my soup.
-->//Power Up: The tunnel system smelled like fried chicken for months afterward.
-->//On A Rail: Good thing Gordon was around, or the scientists would have been forced to unleash droves of monkeys to press the rocket launch button.
-->//Apprehension: Luckily, the Female Assassins were in short supply. If Gordon had to face more than 3-4 at once, he never would have made it to Xen.
-->//Residue Processing: Tryouts for the Black Mesa swim team every Tuesday and Thursday.
-->//Questionable Ethics: Please remain stationary, while we remove your internal organs.
-->//Surface Tension: Look carefully for the hang gliding mini game in the cliffside level!
-->//Forget About Freeman: The 2008 finincial ''[sic]'' crisis was simply a cover for the repair costs of the Black Mesa facility.
-->//Lambda Core: And in the end, it was all just a crazy, radiation induced, nightmare!

to:

-->//Inbound: Welcome to Black Mesa! Where hazardous chemical spills are a daily occurance!
-->//Anomalous
occurrence!\\
//Anomalous
Materials: Someone explain to me why Gordon's job inside the test chamber, couldn't have been done by a robot, or even a monkey...
-->//Unforeseen
monkey...\\
//Unforeseen
Consequences: This is what happens when you 'force' a computer to divide by zero.
-->//Office
zero.\\
//Office
Complex: Unbeknownst to the staff, the cafeteria had been serving bullsquid for years.
-->//We've
years.\\
//We've
Got Hostiles: Hey guys, thanks for the rescue. Oh, what? A bullet with my name on it? Cool!!
-->//Blast
Cool!!\\
//Blast
Pit: There's an alien tentacle in my soup.
-->//Power
soup.\\
//Power
Up: The tunnel system smelled like fried chicken for months afterward.
-->//On
afterward.\\
//On
A Rail: Good thing Gordon was around, or the scientists would have been forced to unleash droves of monkeys to press the rocket launch button.
-->//Apprehension:
button.\\
//Apprehension:
Luckily, the Female Assassins were in short supply. If Gordon had to face more than 3-4 at once, he never would have made it to Xen.
-->//Residue
Xen.\\
//Residue
Processing: Tryouts for the Black Mesa swim team every Tuesday and Thursday.
-->//Questionable
Thursday.\\
//Questionable
Ethics: Please remain stationary, while we remove your internal organs.
-->//Surface
organs.\\
//Surface
Tension: Look carefully for the hang gliding mini game in the cliffside level!
-->//Forget
level!\\
//Forget
About Freeman: The 2008 finincial ''[sic]'' crisis was simply a cover for the repair costs of the Black Mesa facility.
-->//Lambda
facility.\\
//Lambda
Core: And in the end, it was all just a crazy, radiation induced, nightmare!



--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Please keep your limbs inside the train at all times. Fasten your seatbelts, [[NonSequitur and do not feed the rabid monkey]].
--> '''Guard:''' What?
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Do not attempt to open the doors until the train has come to a complete halt at the station platform.
--> '''Guard:''' [[ItsProbablyNothing Must've been my imagination...]]
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Failure to comply may result in limb loss...
--> '''Guard:''' Huh?
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' ...termination of your pass for the transit system...
--> '''Guard:''' Ugh...
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:'''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking ...and a one-way ticket to the principal's office.]]
--> '''Guard:''' [[LampshadeHanging Principal's office? What?]]
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' In the event of an emergency, ignore it, and it will pass.
--> '''Guard:''' [[PrecisionFStrike What the FUCK?]]
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Passengers are to remain seated and await further instructions should the emergency continue.
--> '''Guard:''' *clears throat* Ugh...
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' If it is necessary to exit the train, each man for himself...
--> '''Guard:''' What the f...?!
--> '''Black Mesa Transit System:''' ...and the disabled personnel may wait behind and pray for a miracle.
--> '''Guard:''' SON OF A BITCH!

to:

--> '''Black -->'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Please keep your limbs inside the train at all times. Fasten your seatbelts, [[NonSequitur and do not feed the rabid monkey]].
-->
monkey]].\\
'''Guard:''' What?
-->
What?\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Do not attempt to open the doors until the train has come to a complete halt at the station platform.
-->
platform.\\
'''Guard:''' [[ItsProbablyNothing Must've been my imagination...]]
-->
]]\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Failure to comply may result in limb loss...
-->
loss...\\
'''Guard:''' Huh?
-->
Huh?\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' ...termination of your pass for the transit system...
-->
system...\\
'''Guard:''' Ugh...
-->
Ugh...\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:'''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking ...and a one-way ticket to the principal's office.]]
-->
]]\\
'''Guard:''' [[LampshadeHanging Principal's office? What?]]
-->
What?]]\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' In the event of an emergency, ignore it, and it will pass.
-->
pass.\\
'''Guard:''' [[PrecisionFStrike What the FUCK?]]
-->
FUCK?]]\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' Passengers are to remain seated and await further instructions should the emergency continue.
-->
continue.\\
'''Guard:''' *clears throat* Ugh...
-->
Ugh...\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' If it is necessary to exit the train, each man for himself...
-->
himself...\\
'''Guard:''' What the f...?!
-->
?!\\
'''Black Mesa Transit System:''' ...and the disabled personnel may wait behind and pray for a miracle.
-->
miracle.\\
'''Guard:''' SON OF A BITCH!



--> '''Grunt:''' I'M SO GLAD THE MEDIC DECIDED TO TAKE A FUCKING VACATION!

to:

--> '''Grunt:''' -->'''Grunt:''' I'M SO GLAD THE MEDIC DECIDED TO TAKE A FUCKING VACATION!



** The fall damage portion to demonstrate medkits and medstations still has blood like in the original game but instead it's a long smear leading to a locked off door labelled "First Aid Station", [[CrossesTheLineTwice and said smear also has a wet floor sign set on top of it]].

to:

** The fall damage portion to demonstrate medkits and medstations still has blood like in the original game but instead it's a long smear leading to a locked off door labelled "First Aid Station", [[CrossesTheLineTwice and said smear also has a wet floor sign set on top of it]].it]].
* Also from the Hazard Course, the dialogue of the same peppy guy who tell Gordon that he was accidentally signed up for firearms training.
-->'''Scientist:''' Ah, Dr. Freeman. We've been waiting for you. Don't worry, I'm sure you hit some traffic… in the middle of the desert.\\
At any rate, welcome to the Black Mesa Training Facility.\\
Things have been in a state of commotion lately, but we're glad you're here.\\
Just let me double check your file.\\
Ah, I see you've already signed our legal disclaimer.\\
"I, Gordon Freeman, hereby agree to the following terms…" blah blah blah "…as any case of serious injury, dismemberment, toxic poisoning, burns, rashes, lesions…" blah blah et cetera et cetera "…hereby agree to waive all right as an employee of the Black Mesa Research Facility." Ah!\\
Yes. It looks very good.
----
28th Jun '16 4:55:56 PM Dallenson
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* In ''Power Up'', one room has a scripted ambush where Vortigaunts teleport in as soon as Gordon enters the doorway. The room is [[MadeOfExplodium chock full full combustibles]]. A single stray shot from a Vortigaunt aimed at Gordon will cause a chain reaction that annihilates the ambush.

to:

* In ''Power Up'', one room has a scripted ambush where Vortigaunts teleport in as soon as Gordon enters the doorway. The room is [[MadeOfExplodium chock full full combustibles]]. A single stray shot from a Vortigaunt aimed at Gordon will cause a chain reaction that annihilates the ambush. In fact, the act of electricity arcing while they ''charge'' the attack is enough to set it off.
* With the fan release of the "Hazard Course" chapter, there are many in-universe changes to avert things such as HeKnowsAboutTimedHits or the fact Gordon was accidentally signed up for security fire arms training and some of them come off as humorous or incredibly morbid, [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs or both]].
** When you get your [[CrowbarCombatant crowbar]], Gina states that you're supposed to use it to pry apart crates that may obstruct work spaces with the HUD tip lighting up with "[=Mouse1=]: Pry open crates" but once you actually left click, you smash it apart and it changes to "[=Mouse1=]: Destroy crates" and one of the monitoring scientists saying that works too. A "[[VideoGame/Portal2 Say 'Apple']]." moment if you could call it that.
** You're told that in the demonstration of [[NoOSHACompliance laboratory hazards]] that if you have charged your suit's armor then you should come out just fine and if not, they have a medical staff on stand by. Cue another scientist muttering in the background about calling up a medical team to the hazard course.
** One of the scientists [[LampshadeHanging hanging a lampshade]] on why they would need to train suit users on climbing ladders in the first place.
** The fall damage portion to demonstrate medkits and medstations still has blood like in the original game but instead it's a long smear leading to a locked off door labelled "First Aid Station", [[CrossesTheLineTwice and said smear also has a wet floor sign set on top of it]].
10th May '16 10:24:05 AM BreakinBenny
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* Inspection of the games soundscape scripts reveals the following comments at the top of the scripts:

to:

* Inspection of the games game's soundscape scripts reveals the following comments at the top of the scripts:them:



** You get the feeling that someone in development had a thing for Machinima/FreemansMind given that fried chicken joke was in that series.

to:

** You may get the a feeling that someone in development had a thing for Machinima/FreemansMind given that fried chicken joke was in that series.
27th Feb '16 12:50:45 PM rjd1922
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-->'''Guard:''' You two argue {{like an old married couple}}.\\

to:

-->'''Guard:''' You These two argue bicker on {{like an old married couple}}.\\
5th Feb '16 6:44:44 PM vn70072
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* If you enter the server room during Anomalous Materials, a security guard points out that you ''did'' show up for work today, and reminds a scientist nearby that [[SideBet that means he owes him a pizza]]. If you then talk to the scientist in question, he makes [[SoreLoser several nasty remarks at the guard]].

to:

* If you enter the server room during Anomalous Materials, a security guard points out that you ''did'' show up for work today, and reminds a scientist nearby that [[SideBet that means he owes him a pizza]]. If you then talk to the scientist in question, he makes [[SoreLoser several nasty remarks at the guard]].guard]].
* In ''Power Up'', one room has a scripted ambush where Vortigaunts teleport in as soon as Gordon enters the doorway. The room is [[MadeOfExplodium chock full full combustibles]]. A single stray shot from a Vortigaunt aimed at Gordon will cause a chain reaction that annihilates the ambush.
4th Jan '16 10:34:16 AM Dirtyblue929
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--->Seeing predictable phaser rays... But then, I'm high!

to:

--->Seeing predictable phaser rays...phase arrays... But then, I'm high!
17th May '15 1:45:31 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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Added DiffLines:

** Guards will sometimes comment on Gordon's HEV suit.
--->Looking slick, Freemeister! Popsicle orange really brings out your eyes.
13th May '15 2:35:44 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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Added DiffLines:

--->Seeing predictable phaser rays... But then, I'm high!
5th May '15 7:09:47 PM Raikoh
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** And if any players get their score tied for the top in the Steam release's multiplayer? [[RunningGag "Now ''this'' is a ridiculous tie."]]

to:

** And if any players get their score tied for the top in the Steam release's multiplayer? [[RunningGag "Now ''this'' is a ridiculous tie."]]"
5th May '15 7:09:08 PM Raikoh
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Added DiffLines:

** And if any players get their score tied for the top in the Steam release's multiplayer? [[RunningGag "Now ''this'' is a ridiculous tie."]]
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