History Funny / AgeOfEmpiresII

* The EasyLevelTrick for the Montezuma map "La Noche Triste" is hilarious when it works. Your lone Jaguar Warrior, implied to be the campaign's narrator Cuauhtemoc, basically walks out of the jungle, nonchalantly strides past some Tlaxcalan soldiers to step onto the bridge to the capital, shrugs off the arrows of two watchtowers at the city entrance, walks up to the Spanish Wonder build site, smashes its foundation to rubble with an obsidian-studded club faster than a Worker can finish it, and then declares Tenochtitlan liberated. [[OneManArmy Small wonder]] the Aztecs [[AsskickingEqualsAuthority make him their emperor]] afterward.
** From the same level, moving the Jaguar Warrior near some boar at the beginning of the level causes him to give a dramatic order:

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* After posting the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpemawx_ExI Top 5 Worst Civilizations]] which rated the Turks as #1 Worst for random 1v1 matches, thousands of players who picked the Turks as their main Civ got really salty and raged at [=ZeroEmpires=] for what they considered an "unfair" summary. [=ZeroEmpires=] took it all in stride by "apologizing" and "reevaluating" the Turks as [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWQMkKQ577I the best Civ]] in the game.[[note]]Turks were rated the worst in 1v1 matches due to their over-reliance on gold and the poor quality of their trash (no gold needed to recruit) units, but are considered to be one of the best civilizations in team games due to the fact that the player can easily establish a trade route to create gold efficient units.[[/note]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICAhUyTXrxI 4 VS 4 Goths on Tiny]]. Not only is it hilarious, exciting, ridiculous, fast-paced, and intense, but it's also an accurate representation of medieval warfare.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChzLZJo-SxuPHz-oYKAIC_g Spirit of the Law]]:
** In the Celts overview, [=SotL=] talked about how they can use one of the bonuses to steal sheep under the enemy's nose, but not before asking his viewers to sign a legal contract so that they would not use this against him when playing the game.
** In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGi8fZuzcYI Indians Civ overview]], which was made prior to the ''African Kingdoms'' expansion, his [[InsaneTrollLogic explanation]] as to why the Camels have the Ship armor class:
-->Ship. Ships are commonly made out of wood. Wood. It's brown, just like camels. "3 Ships" is an album by Music/{{Yes}} frontman Jon Anderson. It's also the number of ships that Christopher Columbus on his voyage to the New World. 3. What was the third single from the Music/BlackEyedPeas 2005 album "Monkey Business"? "My Humps". Hump. Camels are famous for their humps. Still don't believe me? Another name for a ship is a boat. Boat. Rhymes with goat. Goats. Are in the biological order Artiodactyla. So are camels.
** In his early video, when he reached 300 subscribers, [=SotL=] decided to do a Persian civilization review (a reference to ''Film/ThreeHundred''), before realizing that it does not make that much sense at all. Later in the Wonder video series, he came up with an [=AOEII=] theory of how the Spartans fended off the Persians with 300 men: Spartans constructed a wonder on the corner of the map with 300 villagers, while the Persians are furious that they had forgot to ban "Wonder victory" at the start of the game.
** He frequently pokes fun at the Saracens' team bonus during his civilization overview series. [[note]]For the record, the Saracens as a civilization is considered a ButtMonkey for the [=YouTuber=] due to the Saracens' team bonus (archers get +1 attack against buildings) being one of the worst team bonuses despite other team bonuses such as the Incas' faster farm building time being ''worse'' than the Saracens'.[[/note]]
--> ''"Saracens, you call that a team bonus? That's adorable, get outta here."''
** In regards to the Saracens' team bonus, he pulled a PetTheDog moment when he did the Chinese civilization overview in regards to the Saracens' team bonus having strong synergy with the Chinese [[AutomaticCrossbows Chu Ko Nu]]. Plus, in no more than five minutes later in that same video, he went back to poking fun of that team bonus for unable help Chinese scorpion to win a scorpion fight.
--> ''"Good job Saracens! You did a thing."''
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE-JVmmYqXU This trailer]] made by the same [=YouTuber=] shows how badass the Spanish's Unique Tech "Supremacy" is. Why is it not a movie yet?
* There have been several user created Random Maps and mods that are seen as incredibly hilarious. For starters, the "Forest Nothing" map is a random map where the map is ''100% covered in Forest and no other resources'', leading to "Relic Nothing" games where there are literally no resources in the map and you need to "gather" relics in the map and use your Market to get the resources you need. There is also a humorous mod where you can research all the techs ''256 times'', where you can have archers snipe Castles across the map or have something like the Ethiopian Siege Onagers with Torsion Engines [[note]]A unique tech that increases the blast radius of siege weapons[[/note]] nuke nearly ''75% of the map''.
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0grnzuaglg Moving Buildings Mod]] has set a new bar for creativity and hilarity.

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* There have been several user created Random Maps and mods that are seen as incredibly hilarious. For starters, the "Forest Nothing" map is a random map where the map is ''100% covered in Forest and no other resources'', leading to massive GradualGrinder games, or "Relic Nothing" games where there are literally no resources in the map and you need to "gather" relics in the map and use your Market to get the resources you need. There is also a humorous mod where you can research all the techs ''256 times'', where you can have archers snipe Castles across the map or have something like the Ethiopian Siege Onagers with Torsion Engines [[note]]A unique tech that increases the blast radius of siege weapons[[/note]] nuke nearly ''75% of the map''.

* Computer-controlled enemy players give [[LameExcuse bizarre and unconvincing excuses]] in [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe a comically antiquated manner]] when they admit defeat in a standard match. Apparently TheBattleDidntCount to them. Some choice messages:

* Another [[Website/YouTube YouTuber]] named "Spirit of the Law" frequently pokes fun at the Saracens' team bonus during his civilization overview series. [[note]]For the record, the Saracens as a civilization is considered a ButtMonkey for the [=YouTuber=] due to the Saracens' team bonus (archers get +1 attack against buildings) being one of the worst team bonuses despite other team bonuses such as the Incas' faster farm building time being ''worse'' than the Saracens'.[[/note]]

** In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGi8fZuzcYI Indians Civ overview]], which was made prior to the ''African Kingdoms'' expansion, his [[InsaneTrollLogic explanation]] as to why the Camels have the Ship armor class:
-->Ship. Ships are commonly made out of wood. Wood. It's brown, just like camels. "3 Ships" is an album by Music/{{Yes}} frontman Jon Anderson. It's also the number of ships that Christopher Columbus on his voyage to the New World. 3. What was the third single from the Music/BlackEyedPeas 2005 album "Monkey Business"? "My Humps". Hump. Camels are famous for their humps. Still don't believe me? Another name for a ship is a boat. Boat. Rhymes with goat. Goats. Are in the biological order Artiodactyla. So are camels.
** In his early video, when he reach 300 viewers, SotL decided to do a Persian civilaztion review(a reference to the movie 300), before realizing that it does not make that much sense at all. Later in Wonder video serie, he come up with Age of Empire 2 theory of how the Spartan fend off Persian with 300 men: Spartan constructed a wonder on the corner of the map with 300 villagers, while the Persians are furious that they had forgot to ban "Wonder victory" at the start of the game.
** In Celts overview, SotL talked about how celtic can use its perk to steal sheeps under the enemy's nose, but not before asking his viewers to sign a legal contract so that they would not use this perks against him when playing the game.

** In his early video, when he reach 300 viewers, SotL decided to do a Persian civilaztion review(a reference to the movie 300), before realizing that it does not make that much sense at all. Later in Wonder video serie, he come up with Age of Empire 2 theory of how the Spartan fend off Persian with 300 men: Spartan constructed a wonder on the corner of the map with 300 villagers, while the Persians are furious that they had forgot to turn of "Wonder victory" before starting the game.

* [[https://www.ageofempires.com/news/aoe2de-update-37650/ Update 37650]], among other things, addressed a infamous GameBreakingBug where the Malay age up bonus (66% faster) doesn't work properly (the age up doesn't occur until it reaches 166%). The summary of the bugfix?

* [[https://www.ageofempires.com/news/aoe2de-update-37650/ Update 37650]], among other things, addressed a GameBreakingBug where the Malay age up bonus doesn't work properly, so that they age up at 166% instead of aging up 66% faster. The summary of the bugfix?

* One of the ''Definitive Edition'''s patch notes for Update 34055 in regards to Joan of Arc mission "The Maid of Orleans":

---> ''"Good job Saracens! You did a thing."''

* Computer-controlled enemy players give [[INeedToGoIronMyDog bizarre and unconvincing excuses]] in [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe a comically antiquated manner]] when they admit defeat in a standard match. Apparently TheBattleDidntCount to them. Some choice messages:

'''AI:''' My ignorant folk coulst not replant the berries!\\
'''AI''': [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Thou art human, with soul and wit. I am naught but clockwork!]]\\

* The fourth mission of the "Ivaylo" campaign has a rather hilarious allusion to the strategy which uses your livestock as scouts. As the monk Kosma said it, "scouting with pigs?! [[CrazyEnoughToWork It's so crazy, it actually could work!]]".
* Computer-controlled enemy players give [[INeedToGoIronMyDog bizarre and unconvincing excuses]] in [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe a comically antiquated manner]] when defeated and abdicate. Apparently TheBattleDidntCount to them. Some choice messages:

'''AI''': Odsblood! I accidentally resigned by mistake.\\
'''AI:''' I couldst not comprehend mine folks' speech!\\
'''AI:''' My ignorant folk coulst not replant the berries!

* In the third scenario of the "William Wallace" tutorial campaign of ''Definitive Edition'', where the player only has to train four militia to win the game, the scout report said, "We have not heard from our scouts - they are probably lost in the woods."

'''AI''': Odsblood! I accidentally resigned by mistake.

--> ''"In Rome, the Pope firmly believed that it was the Church, not the Emperor, who was the ultimate authority for the Empire. Barbarossa could not convince the pope to see things his way, so he [[StartMyOwn appointed his own Pope]]. This, too, was not enough, for both Pope and Antipope promptly excommunicated each other. ''[cut to the Pope shouting at the Antipope while Barbarossa stares upwards with an exasperated look]'' Again Barbarossa had to resort to politics at the point of a lance. If the Pope would not listen to reason, then perhaps he would concede with two thousand German knights pouring down the Italian peninsula."''
** When Henry the Lion betrayed Barbarossa again, his declaration to Barbarossa sounds more apologetic than a usurper is supposed to be.
---> ''"Barbarossa, I do hate to strike you when you are down, but the Lombard League have agreed that I would be a better emperor. So sorry."''

--> '''AI''': ''My townsfolk began too close to mine kingdom's Town Center.''\\
'''AI''': ''Zounds! I couldst not build a Wonder in the Dark Age!''\\
'''AI''': ''[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Thou art human, with soul and wit. I am naught but clockwork!]]''\\
'''AI''': ''Odsblood! I accidentally resigned by mistake.''
* In the third scenario of the "William Wallace" tutorial campaign of ''Definitive Edition'', where the player only has to train four militia to win the game, the scout report said, "We have not heard from our scouts - they are probably lost in the woods."
* The fourth mission of the "Ivaylo" campaign has a rather hilarious allusion to the strategy which uses your livestock as scouts. As the monk Kosma said it, "scouting with pigs?! [[CrazyEnoughToWork It's so crazy, it actually could work!]]".

** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0grnzuaglg Moving Buildings Mod]] has set a new bar for creativity and hilarity.

--> Tasked the department of invasive species to relocate a cactus [[MisplacedWildlife that somehow sprouted in the French countryside]].

* One of the patch notes for Update 34055 in regards to Joan of Arc mission "The Maid of Orleans":