History Film / IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo

* SchizoTech: Throughout the film, communist soldiers ride around on horses. Presumably, this is to drive home the "footmen and horses" metaphor, but there doesn't seem to be any internal logic behind it. The Reds evidently have a very tight Christian-murdering budget, since most of their motor vehicle needs seem to be handled by a beat-up Ford truck, and they're carrying M-16s (American-made assault rifles) instead of anything of actual Soviet make. Plus, these idiots somehow manage to take over a country with a huge military budget and gun-loving populace. Unless there's implied beefed-up Soviet forces off-camera (and assumed to exist) the whole scenario is stupid and impossible.

* SchizoTech: Throughout the film, communist soldiers ride around on horses. Presumably, this is to drive home the "footmen and horses" metaphor, but there doesn't seem to be any internal logic behind it. The Reds evidently have a very tight Christian-murdering budget, since most of their motor vehicle needs seem to be handled by a beat-up Ford truck. Plus, these idiots somehow manage to take over a country with a huge military budget and gun-loving populace. Unless there's implied beefed-up Soviet forces off-camera (and assumed to exist) the whole scenario is stupid and impossible.

* BrokenAesop: The film decries the violence on television, despite having some rather graphic scenes depicting communist horrors. The blood is very obviously fake, but it's still more violent than anything you would see on U.S. television during the 1970s.

That's the FramingDevice for ''If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?'', a 1971 fundamentalist Christian RedScare propaganda film produced by Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, who also appears AsHimself in the role of Judy's preacher. Reverend Pirkle is here to warn us that America must abandon its sinful ways and turn back to God, or else it will be taken over by communists. The film's director is Ron Ormond, a man who could not be stranger bedfellows with Reverend Pirkle. Previously the creator of {{Exploitation Film}}s like ''Mesa of Lost Women'' and ''The Monster and the Stripper'', Ormond became a born-again Christian after surviving a plane crash.

* DayOfTheJackboot: Reverend Pirkle actually provides a deadline for his nightmare vision. Unless Americans turn back to God in a hurry, the communists will take over the U.S. within the next twenty-four months. [[TheGreatPoliticsMessUp Oops]].

* {{Irony}}: Unintended, but at one point Pirkle is warning that the Communists will force you to sit on wooden benches and listen to loudspeakers spewing propaganda (see the page quote above), and is saying this to a congregation sitting on wooden pews as he preaches.

* ThinkOfTheChildren: Much of the hand-wringing comes from communism's supposed effects on the next generation, such as teaching them to reject Christ and [[SexIsEvil informing them at a young age about the body's erogenous zones]].
%%* ThisLoserIsYou: Judy.

* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: What has been described as a "Communist accent". A deep blend of German, Russian and Cuban, with it shifting not only from scene to scene, but within the same lines. In the case of the [[OohMeAccentsSlipping Commissar]] (the guy in the Trope Page photo above with the kid....whom he soon beheads....), add a bit of "DeepSouth".

** "Are you aware that less than sixty years ago there was not one communist in the world, whereas today communism controls one billion, one hundred million people?" To be fair, he might be meaning to refer to people living under communist governments, and not to people espousing communism. But even if he is, it could have been phrased more clearly.

* StupidGood: Okay, some goons have taken over your country and are killing religious folks like yourself in various horrifying ways. Do you have your services in a basement, an isolated barn or abandoned warehouse? HECK, NO! You have services in the open outdoors or in actual churches, [[TooDumbToLive where the "Commies" can see you]]!

* UnfortunateNames: Reverend ''Estus Pirkle?!'' [[RealityIsUnrealistic Yes, that was really his name]].

%%* TheFundamentalist: Our "hero", Reverend Pirkle.

* SchizoTech: Throughout the film, communist soldiers ride around on horses. Presumably, this is to drive home the "footmen and horses" metaphor, but there doesn't seem to be any internal logic behind it. The Reds evidently have a very tight Christian-murdering budget, since most of their motor vehicle needs seem to be handled by a beat-up Ford truck. Plus, these idiots manage to take over a country with a huge military budget and gun-loving populace. Unless there's implied beefed-up Soviet forces off-camera (and assumed to exist) the whole scenario is stupid and impossible.

** Reverend Pirkle says that three million Christians have been killed in UsefulNotes/NorthKorea, twenty million Christians have been killed in the [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn Soviet Union]], and fifty million Christians have been killed in RedChina. If that seems like an oddly large number of Christians to be living in China, it's because Pirkle took the complete death toll of the Maoist regime and, apparently unaware that one of Mao Zedong's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign more ill-advised policies]] caused [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Chinese_Famine a famine]] that would have killed atheist and Christian alike, just assumed that all the victims were Christians. The numbers from North Korea and the Soviet Union seem to be based on the same "reasoning" (though in the latter at least more victims actually ''were'' targeted for their religion).
** "One of the top communists in America today said, 'I dream of the hour when the last Congressman is strangled to death on the guts of the last preacher and since the Christians love to sing about the blood, let's give them a little of it. Let's cut the throats of their children and let them drown in their own blood on the altar. Then we'll see if they enjoy singing these hymns or not.'" Far-right conspiracy theorists have long attributed various versions of this quote to then CPUSA leader Gus Hall, but there's no evidence [[BeamMeUpScotty he ever said anything of the sort]].[[note]] The first part is derived from something attributed to philosophers Jean Meslier or Denis Diderot, mostly in this form: "Man will never be free until the last king is strangled in the entrails of the last priest." In their case too it's questionable whether either said it.[[/note]] [[invoked]]
** Pirkle claims that communists are [[GodwinsLaw worse than Hitler]] because the Nazis supposedly killed people mercifully whereas communists torture. Obviously, the notion that the Nazis never used torture is a fantasy on par with Holocaust denial. And yes, the Soviets used torture too, but the point is that that alone is not something which made them different from the Nazis.
** A subtle one is how the USSR is portrayed as some sort of atheist hellhole, yet participation in the Orthodox church started to pick up again after the German invasion during World War 2. While the church was controlled by the Soviet government and the post of Metropolitan of Moscow was vacant for some years beyond 1917, Christianity has been central to Russian identity for so long that even communism could not dislodge it.

* DeathOfAChild: In fact, the worst scenes involve children....from the boy getting his eardrums punctured (then barfing up a storm), the kids forced to drop their dad on a pitchfork and the kid who gets his head lopped off. Then, of course, the kids seen among the gunned-down dead.
* DirtyCommunists: As far as the film is concerned, a "communist" is someone who goes around torturing and murdering Christians for no reason. Capitalism is only brought up once, and rather offhandedly at that.

* StupidGood: Okay, some goons have taken over your country and are killing religious folks like yourself in various horrifying ways. Do you have your services in a basement, an isolated barn or abandoned warehouse? HECK, NO! You have services in the open outdoors or in actual churches, [[TooDumbToLive where the "Commies" can see you!]]

** "One of the top communists in America today said, 'I dream of the hour when the last Congressman is strangled to death on the guts of the last preacher and since the Christians love to sing about the blood, let's give them a little of it. Let's cut the throats of their children and let them drown in their own blood on the altar. Then we'll see if they enjoy singing these hymns or not.'" Christian conspiracy theorists have long attributed various versions of this quote to then CPUSA leader Gus Hall, but it [[BeamMeUpScotty seems to have no basis in fact]].[[note]] The first part is derived from something attributed to philosophers Jean Meslier or Denis Diderot, mostly in this form: "Man will never be free until the last king is strangled in the entrails of the last priest." In their case too it's questionable whether either said it.[[/note]] [[invoked]]

* ThisLoserIsYou: Judy.

* TheFundamentalist: Our "hero", Reverend Pirkle

** Reverend Pirkle says that three million Christians have been killed in UsefulNotes/NorthKorea, twenty million Christians have been killed in the [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn Soviet Union]], and fifty million Christians have been killed in RedChina. If that seems like an oddly large number of Christians to be living in China, it's because Pirkle took the complete death toll of the Maoist regime and, apparently unaware that one of Mao Zedong's [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign more moronic policies]] caused [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Chinese_Famine a famine]] that would have killed atheist and Christian alike, just assumed that all the victims were Christians. The numbers from North Korea and the Soviet Union seem to be based on the same "reasoning" (though in the latter at least more victims actually ''were'' targeted for their religion).

->''The loudspeaker spoke up and said, Christianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid. Communism is good. Communism is good. Give up. Give up.''[[note]]If you listen to Music/{{Negativland}}, this quote may sound familiar...[[/note]]

* Thanks to the phrasing of the film's title, it ends up as NeverTrustATitle due to the lack of an answer the question attempts to pose among its anti-communist propaganda.

* Thanks to the phrasing of the film's title, it ends up a NonIndicutiveTitle due to the lack of an answer it tries to pose among its anti-communist propaganda.

* StupidGood: Okay, some goons have taken over your country and are killing religious folks like yourself in various horrifying ways. Do you have your services in a basement, an isolated barn or abandoned warehouse? HECK, NO! You have services in the open outdoors or in actual churches, [[TooStupidToLive where the "Commies" can see you!]]

** "Are you aware that less than sixty years ago there was not one communist in the world, whereas today communism controls one billion, one hundred million people?" Obviously, he means to refer to people living under communist governments, and not to people espousing communism.

* GodTest: Communist brainwashers use this to teach children that Jesus can't miraculously provide them with candy, but "our glorious leader UsefulNotes/FidelCastro" can. This at least is something [[TruthInTelevision really done]] in communist states. However, why a bunch of characters who are supposed to be Soviets (considering their bad 'Russian'/'Dracula' accents) are focused on a Cuban guy rather than, you know, a Russian, is anyone's guess. Shouldn't those kids be praying to ''Brezhnev'' for candy?

* EasyEvangelism: Judy. Although, to be fair, it does take the whole film ''and'' a fictional child beheading to get her to repent.
** She also had an elderly sickly Mom who constantly preached to and guilt-tripped her, then died, presumably of a "broken heart".

* MissingStepsPlan: The Reverend is a mite vague on exactly how good Christians abstaining from pre-martial sex, dancing, and miniskirts is supposed to prevent the Red Menace from invading the U.S. unopposed. Mocked by the inimitable Creator/{{Seanbaby}} in his review from ''The Wave'':

** Reverend Pirkle says that three million Christians have been killed in UsefulNotes/NorthKorea, twenty million Christians have been killed in the [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn Soviet Union]], and fifty million Christians have been killed in RedChina. If that seems like an oddly large number of Christians to be living in China, it's because Pirkle took the complete death toll of the Maoist regime and just assumed that all the victims were Christians. The numbers from North Korea and the Soviet Union seem to be based on the same "reasoning" (though in the latter at least more victims actually ''were'' targeted for their religion).

That's the FramingDevice for ''If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?'', a 1971 RedScare film produced by Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, who also appears AsHimself in the role of Judy's preacher. Reverend Pirkle is here to warn us that America must abandon its sinful ways and turn back to God, or else it will be taken over by communists. The film's director is Ron Ormond, a man who could not be stranger bedfellows with Reverend Pirkle. Previously the creator of {{Exploitation Film}}s like ''Mesa of Lost Women'' and ''The Monster and the Stripper'', Ormond became a born-again Christian after surviving a plane crash.

During the 1970s and 1980s, this film was circulated amongst the more fundamentalist churches in the United States -- and not just in the DeepSouth. Today, it's something of a CultClassic for [[SoBadItsGood different reasons]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5o_LwqX77I See it here.]] Followed by two spiritual (literally) sequels, 1974's ''The Burning Hell'' and 1977's ''The Believer's Heaven'', where Estus Pirkle preached on what awaits Christians in Hell and Heaven. Both of these films differentiated by featuring guest speakers, and Biblical re-enactments, though violent scenarios remained in them, particularly the former's depiction of Hell.

* NewMediaAreEvil: Reverend Pirkle is definitely not a fan of television. He tells us that "Since the advent of TV, the crime rate in some areas has increased one thousand percent." Needless to say, he provides no evidence that television is the ''cause'' of the rise in crime. [[FalseCause Correlation does not imply causation]], Mr. Pirkle. Incidentally, the U.S. crime rate later fell in TheNineties and this was ''[[CaptainObvious not]]'' accompanied by television going away (it saw the rise of the Internet, too-another form of new media that some loathed).

->''The loudspeaker spoke up and said, Christianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid. Communism is good. Communism is good. Give up. Give up.''[[labelnote:*]]If you listen to Music/{{Negativland}}, this quote may sound familiar...[[/labelnote]]

* PropagandaMachine: The communists set up loadspeakers that preach Christianity is stupid, communism is good incessantly, calling for any who would resist to give up. This is pretty unconvincing, admittedly.