History Fanfic / TalesOfTheEmperasque

-->Emperasque: '''[[NoIndoorVoice I WANT YOU ALL TO LISTEN VERY CLOSELY.]]'''
-->Admistratum Master: I assure you that will be very easy, my Lord God.

* EvilVsEvil: Well, the Imperium is pretty dark grey at the best of times, so ''technically'' them fighting any one of the other factions could count... but a better example would be the Emperor tricking a Tyranid Hive Ship into the Dark Eldar city of Comorarrgh.
** And ''that'' is so that the Tyranids will slaughter the Dark Elves, supercharging Slaanesh and tricking ''him/her/it'' into attacking Khorne, and inciting a war between their factions.

* GondorCallsForAid: The Emperasque, knowing that Imperial medical technology can't heal [[spoiler:Roboute Guilliman's neck wound]], brings him to Ulthwé to have the Craftworld's healers work on him.
** The idea is toyed with, however. Ulthwé wouldn't have even considered it if they [[spoiler:didn't owe the Emperor twice over]].

* NoIndoorVoice: As a side effect of what he's become, the Emperor can't control the volume of his voice, so everything he says is a booming yell.

* PreAssKickingOneLiner: The page quote is one of many.

!!This work provides examples of the following:

* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Rather than react with anger or shock at the TheReasonYouSuckSpeech below, and possibly humiliate an Imperial legend before two Primarchs and the Emperasque, Logan Grimnir makes an offhand comment that causes [[spoiler:Leman Russ]] to have the sputtering equivalent of a FlatWhat and then collapse into hysterical laughter.

* UnreliableIllustrator: Most FanArt depicts the Emperasque as a Tarrasque wearing a giant version of the Emperor's iconic golden power armor, but He isn't actually wearing anything in this form (at least, in the few days that follow His return).

** [[spoiler:LIVII]]'s calm retort to the Emperasque's xenophobic comments about the Eldar and their general untrustworthiness.

* BlessedWithSuck: The Tarrasque's form gives the Emperor immense strength and (near) invulnerability, but since it's a daemon in this setting, it scares the crap out of people, and the furor over its summoning and the Emperor's subsequent disappearance in the first place causes fits both on Terra and in other Imperial offices. Also, see PaintingTheMedium below.
** Also, he's sort of ''enormously gigantic.'' This causes more than a few problems.

* NoIndoorVoice: The Emperor. See the "PaintingTheMedium" trope below.
* PaintingTheMedium: A side effect of the Emperasque being what he is is that he can't control the volume of his voice; thus, his dialogue is written in all-caps.

* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: [[spoiler:Bjorn the Fell-Handed]]'s tirade about the Space Wolves.

*** Wait, is that a reference to [[spoiler:''[[TrollFic Squad Broken]]'']]?

* SureWhyNot: Someone else. takes ideas from creative audience members all the time. Some have become /tg/ authors in their own right.

** He royally grills the Inquisition for summoning daemons, and the Grey Knights for their actions to keep themselves secret.

At the dawn of the year 43,000, the God-Emperor is faced with two situations that could prove disastrous to the already-weakened Imperium. Forced to take extreme measures, he summons a Khornate daemon (in the form of a Tarrasque[[note]]an immensely powerful and nigh-unkillable monster from ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons''[[/note]]) to the Golden Throne and possesses it, finally freeing him from [[AndIMustScream the constant state of torment he's been locked in for the last 10,000 years]]. Now able to act on his own, he proceeds to turn the 40K universe on its ear in many different ways.

* BlessedWithSuck: The Tarrasque's form gives the Emperor immense strength and (near) invulnerability, but since it's a daemon in this setting, it scares the crap out of people, and the furor over its summoning and the Emperor's subsequent disappearance in the first place causes fits both on Terra and in other Imperial offices. He also can't control the volume of his voice; thus, [[PaintingTheMedium his dialogue is written in all-caps]].

* CrackFic: The God-Emperor of Mankind ''in the body of a '''Tarrasque'''''. A bunch of /tg/ fanon treated as canon. Do we really need to explain this any further?

** [[invoked]]Several pieces of /tg/ {{fanon}} are included, including the relationship between [[VideoGame/DawnOfWar Taldeer]] and [[ColdSniper LIVII]] from ''Love Can Bloom'', their [[HalfHumanHybrid daughter]] Lofn, references to the Pretty Marines and the Blood Ravens' kleptomania, and [[spoiler:Faptau]].

** NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: Per WordofGod, any of the Chaos Gods would easily defeat the Emperasque in a head-on fight.

* FixFic: The plot's basically "War Jesus now a Magic Franchise/{{Godzilla}} who is coming to clean house, and he is ''pissed.''"

* GoombaStomp: The Emperasque disposes of [[spoiler:Abbadon]] in this fashion.

* PrecisionFStrike: Quite a few, in various circumstances.

* XanatosGambit:
** The Emperor didn't want ANY of the forces he was attacking during the final scenes of ''Shopping Trip'' to actually lose outright. He just wanted them fighting each other. If it had backfired, though, it would have gotten very, very bad for the Imperium.

* FixFic: The plot's basically "War Jesus now a Magic {{Godzilla}} who is coming to clean house, and he is ''pissed.''"

* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Logan Grimnir's reaction to the TheReasonYouSuckSpeech below. It causes [[spoiler:Leman Russ]] to collapse into hysterical laughter.
** WordofGod says that Grimnir was completely aware of what was going on, he just didn't want to humiliate the oldest member of the Chapter in front of two Primarchs and the Emperor.

** [[invoked]]Several pieces of /tg/ {{fanon}} are included, including the relationship between [[VideoGame/DawnOfWar Taldeer]] and LIVII from ''Love Can Bloom'', their [[HalfHumanHybrid daughter]] Lofn, references to the Pretty Marines and the Blood Ravens' kleptomania, and [[spoiler:Faptau]].

** The Dark Eldar casualties whenever they occur, as their souls go straight to Slaanesh. This was one of the canon ideas that Someone Else actually thought should stay unchanged, since it gives an urgent edge to their sadism.
* FixFic: The plot's basically 'War Jesus is coming to clean house, and he is ''pissed'''.
** More accurately, "War Jesus is now a Magic Godzilla who is coming to clean house, and he is ''pissed.''"

* SpaceAmish: After the Eldar/Imperial negotiations are wrapped up, Isha retires to an Exodite world.
** Thus spake Someone else.: her adventures there will feature in ''Tales of the Emperasque [[spoiler:4: High Plains Matron]]''.

** The Space Wolves and Blood Ravens dislike each other strongly. They still stand shoulder to shoulder fighting the Dark Mechanicus on Cadia, however.

** The Emperasque is ''enraged'' when the Mechanicus accidentally damages [[spoiler:the Golden Throne. Fortunately, he was already out of it.]] He only sets aside his anger because he has bigger problems coming than his own allies' shortsightedness.
** He royally grills the Inquisition for summoning demons, and the Grey Knights for their actions to keep themselves secret.

** The Dark Eldar casualties whenever they occur, as their souls go straight to Slaanesh. This was one of the canon ideas that Someone else. actually thought should stay unchanged, since it gives an urgent edge to their sadism.

* BlessedWithSuck: The Tarrasque's form gives the Emperor immense strength and (near) invulnerability, but since it's a daemon in this setting, it scares the crap out of people, and the furor over its summoning and the Emperor's subsequent disappearance in the first place causes fits both on Terra and in other Imperial offices. He also can't control the volume of his voice; thus, [[PaintingTheFourthWall his dialogue is written in all-caps]].

The story consists of two sections (to date): ''Rise of the Emperasque'' and ''Vulkan's Shopping Trip''. The full list of story posts can be found at the bottom of [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque the story's page at 1d4chan.com]]. Someone else. has concluded ''Shopping Trip.'' The series is on hiatus as Someone else. attempts to find professional work and writes an original story for NaNoWriMo.

The story consists of two sections (to date): ''Rise of the Emperasque'' and ''Vulkan's Shopping Trip'', the latter of which is only about two thirds finished. The full list of story posts can be found at the bottom of [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque the story's page at 1d4chan.com]]. Someone else. has concluded ''Shopping Trip.'' The series is on hiatus as Someone else. attempts to find professional work and writes an original story for NaNoWriMo.

** [[spoiler: Lion and Russ go for each other's throats as soon as the room is clear]].

** [[spoiler:Jaghatai Khan]] has been trapped in a chronovortex for millennia, while [[spoiler:Corax]] has been tortured by Fulgrim for about the same amount of time. To say nothing of what poor Vulkan has been up to: [[spoiler: he's trapped on a daemon world, being killed and resurrected over and over.]]

** The Emperasque severely dresses down the Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens for their suspicious actions, binding him to the Deathwatch. The Emperor knew that to waste Gabriel's talents by just killing him would be gruesome profligacy. The mission that Gabriel undertakes will be chronicled in ''Tales of the Emperasque 3''. [[spoiler: Tentatively entitled: How I Learned to Stop Living and Become a Necron]]

The story consists of two sections (to date): ''Rise of the Emperasque'' and ''Vulkan's Shopping Trip'', the latter of which is only about two thirds finished. The full list of story posts can be found at the bottom of [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque the story's page at 1d4chan.com]]. Someone else. has concluded '''Shopping Trip.''' The series is on hiatus as Someone else. attempts to find professional work and writes an original story for NaNoWriMo.

** The Emperor didn't want ANY of the forces he was attacking during the final scenes of '''Shopping Trip''' to actually lose outright. He just wanted them fighting each other. If it had backfired, though, it would have gotten very, very bad for the Imperium.

The story consists of two sections (to date): ''Rise of the Emperasque'' and ''Vulkan's Shopping Trip'', the latter of which is only about two thirds finished. The full list of story posts can be found at the bottom of [[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Emprahsque the story's page at 1d4chan.com]]. Someone else. has stated his intent to conclude ''Shopping'' soon, so he can move on to two shorter Emperasque projects.

* CainandAbel:

** The idea is toyed with, however. Ulthwé wouldn't have even considered it if they [[spoilers:didn't owe the Emperor twice over]].