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* LoveAtFirstSight: Furious is so struck by his first view of his bride that he nearly forgets to remove her blindfold. {{Justified}} in that the situation is deliberately engineered by a LoveGoddess and a small army of students to cause this sort of reaction.
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* LoveAtFirstSight: Furious is so struck by his first view of his bride that he nearly forgets to remove her blindfold. {{Justified}} {{Justified|Trope}} in that the situation is deliberately engineered by a LoveGoddess and a small army of students to cause this sort of reaction.
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* OhCrap: Both Furious and Crop Duster, once Princess Cadance interrupt their drunken fun.
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* OhCrap: Both Furious and Crop Duster, once Princess Cadance interrupt interrupts their drunken fun.
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* SpotOfTea: [[spoiler:Crop Duster is a tea drinker, to Furious' concern]].
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* BadassMoustache: Furious Funnel is in possession of one.
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Capitalization was fixed from FanFic.Princess Cadances Lonely Hearts Club Land to Fanfic.Princess Cadances Lonely Hearts Club Land. Null edit to update page. Page may need a mojibake cleanup after the fact
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-->'''[[AntiHero Dim Dark:]]''' If the wind is such a threat, [[NoKillLikeOverkill it shouldn’t just be broken]], but also [[KillItWithFire set ablaze]] and [[MakeAnExampleOfThem an example made of it]].
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-->'''[[AntiHero Dim Dark:]]''' If the wind is such a threat, [[NoKillLikeOverkill it shouldn’t shouldn't just be broken]], but also [[KillItWithFire set ablaze]] and [[MakeAnExampleOfThem an example made of it]].
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-->'''Furious Funnel:''' The dustpuncher’s code… here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking… if you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat Death and dry gulch that bastard. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.
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-->'''Furious Funnel:''' The dustpuncher’s code… here’s dustpuncher's code... here's to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking… drinking... if you’re you're going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re you're going to cheat, cheat Death and dry gulch that bastard. If you’re you're going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re you're going to drink, drink with me.
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[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/382283/princess-cadances-lonely-hearts-club-land Princess Cadance's Lonely Hearts Club Land]] is a story in FanFic/TheWeedverse by Kudzuhaiku.
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* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]] [[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
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* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} [[FanFic/{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]] [[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden [[FanFic/EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
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* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]][[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
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* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]][[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden know]] [[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
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Has nothing to do with familiarity with in-universe fiction.
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* GenreSavvy: Princess Cadance knows immediately upon recieving a report that [[spoiler:somepony cracked his head open and was in hospital]] that it's this pair.
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* AffectionateNickname: Furious fairly quickly acquires "Mister Mustache" from Crop Duster.
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* AffectionateNickname: Furious fairly quickly acquires "Mister Mustache" from Crop Duster. [[spoiler:Later on, he calls her "Missus Mustache"]].
* BigDamnKiss: With additional electricity, due to the pegasus magic.
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* ContemplateOurNavels: Filling in the arduous survey puts Furious into an introspective mood. It gets interrupted by Blackbird.
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* ContemplateOurNavels: Filling in the arduous survey puts Furious into an introspective mood. It gets interrupted by Blackbird. He later ends up in a similar mood after drinking tequila and taking care of the more-drunk Crop Duster. [[spoiler:This time it's interrupted by her gas causing a Surprise Jump into the ceiling that puts him in hospital]].
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* EroticEating: Furious finds Crop Duster drinking tea highly stimulating.
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* {{Forgiveness}}: Cadance emphasises the importance of this in a healthy relationship, as there'll always be fights.
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* GenreSavvy: Princess Cadance knows immediately upon recieving a report that [[spoiler:somepony cracked his head open and was in hospital]] that it's this pair.
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* HealingHands: Cadance's ability to do this is referenced, but she doesn't use it [[spoiler:on Furious' head injury]] due to being exhausted from a very busy few days.
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* InterruptedIntimacy: Just as Furious and Crop Duster are having a very tender moment, Cadance shows up. She's usually got better timing.
* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]][[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
* ItsALongStory: Cadance doesn't explain Dim's history when asked with this excuse. [[{{Eigengrau}} The readers know]][[EigengrauZweiDieWeltIstGrauGeworden she's telling the truth]].
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* OneTrueLove: Crop Duster asks Princess Cadance if she and Furious are soulmates. [[spoiler:They aren't, but Cadance reckons it doesn't really matter, they're compatible and have the potential to have a long and ridiculously happy marriage]].
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* SurpriseJump: [[spoiler:Furious ends up in hospital after a sudden arrival of Crop Duster's gas due to crashing into the ceiling]].
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* ThinkUnsexyThoughts: Furious has some problems when Crop Duster is describing the formulaic "ravishing" scenes in the [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel bad romance novels she's been reading]].
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* FeudalFuture: Sterling Gulch is a feudal area, under Lord Sterling Standard.
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* MustHaveCaffeine: Furious is a coffee drinker, and has a low opinion of tea. [[spoiler:Unfortunately, Crop Duster is a tea drinker]].
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* SpotOfTea: [[spoiler:Crop Duster is a tea drinker, to Furious' concern]].
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* DeadpanSnarker: Cadance has her moments.
-->'''Crop Duster:''' What do we do if we get bored?
-->'''Princess Cadance:''' Each other.
-->'''Crop Duster:''' What do we do if we get bored?
-->'''Princess Cadance:''' Each other.
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* DryCrusader: Princess Cadance is not looking forwards to Furious and Crop Duster's actions giving these ponies reason to petition her.
* EarAche: Cadance controls a drunken Furious and Crop Duster by gripping their ears.
* EarAche: Cadance controls a drunken Furious and Crop Duster by gripping their ears.
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* HappyMarriageCharade: Cadance confides in Crop Duster about how the first few months of her own marriage to Shining Armor had more than a few elements of this, due to [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS2E25ACanterlotWeddingPart1 the circumstances]]. Fortunately, after a lot of care and work, [[HappilyMarried they got past it]].
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* InnocentlyInsensitive: [[spoiler:The pool that Furious and Crop Duster use for drunken shenanigans is a memorial to the ponies who died under Sombra's rule]].
* InsistentTerminology: No-one is arrested on their wedding night in the Crystal Empire, they're [[ThatWasntARequest offered]] a luxurious honeymoon suite for the night.
* InsistentTerminology: No-one is arrested on their wedding night in the Crystal Empire, they're [[ThatWasntARequest offered]] a luxurious honeymoon suite for the night.
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* OhCrap: Both Furious and Crop Duster, once Princess Cadance interrupt their drunken fun.
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* BeerGoggles: While very drunk, Crop Duster reckons Furious is much more handsome.
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* CantHoldHisLiquor: Crop Duster, due to not having much experience with it.
* CensorSuds: After Crop Duster goes swimming while drunk, a collection of bubbles obscures her, although they aren't soap bubbles.
* CensorSuds: After Crop Duster goes swimming while drunk, a collection of bubbles obscures her, although they aren't soap bubbles.
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* {{Fainting}}: An elderly crystal mare is overcome by the shameless, drunken display of Crop Duster and Furious.
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* BadassCreed: The informal Dustpuncher's Code is something of one, said as part of a toast.
-->'''Furious Funnel:''' The dustpuncher’s code… here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking… if you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat Death and dry gulch that bastard. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.
-->'''Furious Funnel:''' The dustpuncher’s code… here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking… if you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat Death and dry gulch that bastard. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.
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* IShouldWriteABookAboutThis: After discovering how much better real life is than [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel bad saddle-rippers]], she plans to write her own, about a relationship far closer to her own with Furious Funnel.
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* IShouldWriteABookAboutThis: After discovering how much better real life is than [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel bad saddle-rippers]], she Crop Duster plans to write her own, about a relationship far closer to her own with Furious Funnel.Funnel.
* LaughThemselvesSick: Furious' reaction to [[spoiler:finally being faced with Crop Duster's gas, much to her frustration, due to her worry about it driving him away]].
* LaughThemselvesSick: Furious' reaction to [[spoiler:finally being faced with Crop Duster's gas, much to her frustration, due to her worry about it driving him away]].
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Furious Funnel is the best tornado fighter in Appleoosa, but he's getting on and wants to settle down with a nice mare. There's a few problems with that though, such as the toll of years on the job making him somewhat unsavoury to look at, which hasn't helped his confidence. So he sets out to the Crystal Empire, to take part in Princess Cadance's Blindfold Weddings, where she marries ponies who've never met[[note]]She's a LoveGoddess. [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage There's a very good success rate]][[/note]].
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Furious Funnel is the best tornado fighter in Appleoosa, but he's getting on and wants to settle down with a nice mare. There's a few problems with that though, such as the toll of years on the job making him somewhat unsavoury to look at, which hasn't helped his confidence. So he sets out to the Crystal Empire, to take part in Princess Cadance's Blindfold Weddings, where she marries ponies who've never met[[note]]She's a LoveGoddess. [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage There's a very good success rate]][[/note]].
rate]][[/note]]. Soon afterwards, he's married to the lovely Crop Duster, and although neither of them are perfect, they both got more than they though they deserved.
* AffectionateNickname: Furious fairly quickly acquires "Mister Mustache" from Crop Duster.
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* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch. [[spoiler:Crop Duster shares the trait, although it's first exhibited after she's starved herself for a few days[[note]]It's the only effective way to reduce the symptoms of her IBS[[/note]], so she's likely not quite as voracious normally]].
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* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch. [[spoiler:Crop Crop Duster shares the trait, although it's first exhibited after [[spoiler:after she's starved herself for a few days[[note]]It's the only effective way to reduce the symptoms of her IBS[[/note]], IBS[[/note]]]], so she's likely not quite as voracious normally]].normally.
* BlowYouAway: Dustpunchers are sometimes described as the pegasus equivalent of Wizards, being better trained and more powerful with their magic, and they have to be. While normal storms are vulnerable to DeathByAThousandCuts from a weather team, dealing with tornadoes often requires just ripping open its magic. And because of how pegasus magic works, from [[ElementalPunch extremely short range]].
* BlowYouAway: Dustpunchers are sometimes described as the pegasus equivalent of Wizards, being better trained and more powerful with their magic, and they have to be. While normal storms are vulnerable to DeathByAThousandCuts from a weather team, dealing with tornadoes often requires just ripping open its magic. And because of how pegasus magic works, from [[ElementalPunch extremely short range]].
* CameraFiend: Furious Funnel has a brief encounter with a horde of young ones.
* EmotionEater: According to Furious, tornadoes can feed off fear, which actually puts weather teams at a disadvantage. If one spooks, it's likely to cause the rest to, and that gets them killed and makes the storm stronger.
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* FamedInStory: Furious Funnel. While he was working he largely ignored it. [[spoiler:Crop Duster suggests he parley that into sponsorship deals with the alcohol companies near where she lives to support himself since he's retired]].
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* FamedInStory: Furious Funnel. While he was working he largely ignored it. [[spoiler:Crop Crop Duster suggests he parley that into sponsorship deals with the alcohol companies near where she lives to support himself since he's retired]].retired.
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* ICantDance: [[spoiler:Crop Duster has only ever danced with her father, because she wasn't allowed to go to the dance in her youth]]. Furious doesn't really know either, but is still willing to give it a good go.
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* HealItWithBooze: [[spoiler:When cramps from Crop Duster's IBS get severe, Furious procures some tequila to take the edge off]].
* ICantDance:[[spoiler:Crop Crop Duster has only ever danced with her father, because [[spoiler:because she wasn't allowed to go to the dance in her youth]]. Furious doesn't really know either, but is still willing to give it a good go.
* ICantDance:
* IShouldWriteABookAboutThis: After discovering how much better real life is than [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel bad saddle-rippers]], she plans to write her own, about a relationship far closer to her own with Furious Funnel.
* LikesOlderMen: Crop Duster specifically requested an older stallion, feeling that maturity would be valuable in the kind of relationship she wants.
* LikesOlderMen: Crop Duster specifically requested an older stallion, feeling that maturity would be valuable in the kind of relationship she wants.
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* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass blindfold marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure. [[spoiler:Furious' marriage to Crop Duster is no exception]].
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* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass blindfold marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure. [[spoiler:Furious' Furious' marriage to Crop Duster is no exception]].exception.
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* TheTeetotaler: {{Downplayed}}, but [[spoiler:Crop Duster is this initially, due to Scare 'Em Straight tactics by her parents. Furious tells her the truth about it, and she gets over it enough to try Heal It With Booze on her cramps]].
* ThinksLikeARomanceNovel: PlayedWith, Crop Duster only really knows about "marital relations" from bad saddle-rippers. She's aware that this is not the best source of knowledge, but its still hard to shake. Fortunately, her actual experiences with Furious don't work like the stories.
* ThinksLikeARomanceNovel: PlayedWith, Crop Duster only really knows about "marital relations" from bad saddle-rippers. She's aware that this is not the best source of knowledge, but its still hard to shake. Fortunately, her actual experiences with Furious don't work like the stories.
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* AnalogyBackfire: Dim has a brief fit of this, after a discussion of "breaking the demon wind"[[note]]In this case, a pegasus understanding of Cadance's relationship with loneliness[[/note]]
-->'''[[AntiHero Dim Dark:]]''' If the wind is such a threat, [[NoKillLikeOverkill it shouldn’t just be broken]], but also [[KillItWithFire set ablaze]] and [[MakeAnExampleOfThem an example made of it]].
-->'''[[AntiHero Dim Dark:]]''' If the wind is such a threat, [[NoKillLikeOverkill it shouldn’t just be broken]], but also [[KillItWithFire set ablaze]] and [[MakeAnExampleOfThem an example made of it]].
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* CourtMage: Dim Dark makes a brief appearance as Cadance's.
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* ICantDance: [[spoiler:Crop Duster has only ever danced with her father, because she wasn't allowed to go to the dance in her youth]]. Furious doesn't really know either, but is still willing to give it a good go.
* IHaveManyNames: Princess Cadance has many titles, but prefers to be called "Cadance".
* IHaveManyNames: Princess Cadance has many titles, but prefers to be called "Cadance".
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* VitriolicBestBuds: Cadance is apparently the sworn enemy of Prince Gosling. She also doesn't miss the opportunity to complement him when his name is mentioned.
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* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch.
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* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch. [[spoiler:Crop Duster shares the trait, although it's first exhibited after she's starved herself for a few days[[note]]It's the only effective way to reduce the symptoms of her IBS[[/note]], so she's likely not quite as voracious normally]].
* ClusterFBomb: Furious was on the receiving end of one from his mother after he said he was going to become a tornado-wrangler, due to the danger of the career.
* {{Cowboy}}: "Dustpunchers" like Furious appear to be the Equestrian equivalent, displaying the same sort of stereotypes. Furious himself is the "Working Cowboy" subtype.
* FamedInStory: Furious Funnel. While he was working he largely ignored it. [[spoiler:Crop Duster suggests he parley that into sponsorship deals with the alcohol companies near where she lives to support himself since he's retired]].
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* HandicappedBadass: Furious Funnel lost an eye in the incident that began his career as a tornado-wrangler, but it didn't stop him succeeding at that career.
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* {{Gasshole}}: [[spoiler:Crop Duster doesn't exhibit the normal personality traits of this trope, but suffers from IBS[[note]]Irritable Bowel Syndrome[[/note]], making her]] an {{Exaggerated}} example.
* HandicappedBadass: Furious Funnel lost an eye in the incident that began his career as a tornado-wrangler, but it didn't stop him succeeding at that career. [[spoiler:It's one of the factors that gets him paired with Crop Duster, she requested someone handicapped to help her confidence due to her own problems]].
* HandicappedBadass: Furious Funnel lost an eye in the incident that began his career as a tornado-wrangler, but it didn't stop him succeeding at that career. [[spoiler:It's one of the factors that gets him paired with Crop Duster, she requested someone handicapped to help her confidence due to her own problems]].
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* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass "random" marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure.
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* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass "random" blindfold marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure. [[spoiler:Furious' marriage to Crop Duster is no exception]].
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* RedBaron: Furious is known as "The Pinto Pummeler" among his fanbase.
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* LoveAtFirstSight: Furious is so struck by his first view of his bride that he nearly forgets to remove her blindfold. {{Justified}} in that the situation is deliberately engineered by a LoveGoddess and a small army of students to cause this sort of reaction.
* MarriedToTheJob: PlayedWith, Furious deliberately leaves his job behind when wanting to actually get married because it wouldn't be fair on his mare if he had two loves.
* MarriedToTheJob: PlayedWith, Furious deliberately leaves his job behind when wanting to actually get married because it wouldn't be fair on his mare if he had two loves.
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* {{Polyamory}}: Although Furious isn't interested in this sort of relationship, the systems at the marriages are set up to account for those whom it is the right sort of relationship.
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* SympatheticMagic: A bit of mane is taken from all those who sign up for the weddings, and some magic is used. Furious, the viewpoint character, doesn't know exactly what, so neither do we, but there's nothing directly forcing love used.
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* BrutalHonesty: The survey demands ponies filling it in be very candid, beginning with "Are you a [[FantasticRacism tribalist]]?"
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* ContemplateOurNavels: Filling in the arduous survey puts Furious into an introspective mood. It gets interrupted by Blackbird.
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* FantasticRacism: A question on the survey is "Would you marry outside your of your tribe?", to avoid problems there.
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Furious Funnel is the best tornado fighter in Appleoosa, but he's getting on and wants to settle down with a nice mare. There's a few problems with that though, such as the toll of years on the job making him somewhat unsavoury to look at, which hasn't helped his confidence. So he sets out to the Crystal Empire, to take part in Princess Cadance's Blindfold Weddings, where she marries ponies who've never met[[note]]She's a LoveGoddess. [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage There's a very good success rate]][[/note]].
[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/382283/princess-cadances-lonely-hearts-club-land Princess Cadance's Lonely Hearts Club Land]] is a story in FanFic/TheWeedverse by Kudzuhaiku.
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!!This story contains examples of:
* AMinorKidroduction: The story begins with a FlashBack to Furious Funnel's childhood and the beginning of his career.
* BadassMoustache: Furious Funnel is in possession of one.
* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch.
* CannotTalkToWomen: Furious has this problem, though Braeburn maintains that it's the result of his scars scaring them off. He's fine talking to fillies, but around the time they become "interesting", he becomes tongue-tied.
* DentedIron: The years of fighting tornadoes have left their toll on the no-longer-young Furious.
* EyepatchOfPower: Furious wears a brown one.
* HandicappedBadass: Furious Funnel lost an eye in the incident that began his career as a tornado-wrangler, but it didn't stop him succeeding at that career.
* MotorMouth: Big Mac is shown to be one in his youth, a significant departure from his [[TheQuietOne present demeanour]].
* MyGodYouAreSerious: Braeburn doesn't initially believe Furious is leaving.
* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass "random" marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure.
* SandInMyEyes: Done by proxy, but Braeburn is definitely gasping after Furious leaves, not sobbing. Honest.
----
[[https://www.fimfiction.net/story/382283/princess-cadances-lonely-hearts-club-land Princess Cadance's Lonely Hearts Club Land]] is a story in FanFic/TheWeedverse by Kudzuhaiku.
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!!This story contains examples of:
* AMinorKidroduction: The story begins with a FlashBack to Furious Funnel's childhood and the beginning of his career.
* BadassMoustache: Furious Funnel is in possession of one.
* BigEater: Furious orders six sandwiches for his lunch.
* CannotTalkToWomen: Furious has this problem, though Braeburn maintains that it's the result of his scars scaring them off. He's fine talking to fillies, but around the time they become "interesting", he becomes tongue-tied.
* DentedIron: The years of fighting tornadoes have left their toll on the no-longer-young Furious.
* EyepatchOfPower: Furious wears a brown one.
* HandicappedBadass: Furious Funnel lost an eye in the incident that began his career as a tornado-wrangler, but it didn't stop him succeeding at that career.
* MotorMouth: Big Mac is shown to be one in his youth, a significant departure from his [[TheQuietOne present demeanour]].
* MyGodYouAreSerious: Braeburn doesn't initially believe Furious is leaving.
* PerfectlyArrangedMarriage: The intent of the mass "random" marriages performed by Princess Cadance. It takes no small amount of effort to ensure.
* SandInMyEyes: Done by proxy, but Braeburn is definitely gasping after Furious leaves, not sobbing. Honest.
----
