History FanFic / StarkitsProphecy

* EverythingsBetterWithCows: [[BigNo MOOOOOOOOO!]]

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8378689/1/StarKtis_Prophecy StarKits Prophcy]]'' (also found at its [[http://starkitsprophecy.webstarts.com/index.html rehost]] and, created after the fic was originally deleted from FanfictionDotNet, and [[http://starktisprophecy.webs.com/satrkits-prophecy here]] at the author's website) is a now-completed ''Literature/WarriorCats'' FanFic that chronicles the life of [[{{OC}} StarGleam]], [[TheChosenOne StarClan's chosen one]], from her apprentice ceremony onward. She deals with such trials and tribulations as a LoveDodecahedron [[RelationshipSue with Firestar, Graystripe, Blackstar, Hawkfrost, and Ashfur]]; the threat of Hollyleaf and Tigerstar as they try to take over the forest; and attempting to convert the Clans to Christianity. Somewhere along the way she discovers that she ([[AuthorAvatar along with the author]]) is a lesbian, becomes leader of [=ThunderClan=], and [[DeathIsCheap dies multiple times]].

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6295790/1/StarKis_Prophecy StarKits Prophcy]]'' (also found at its [[http://starkitsprophecy.webstarts.com/index.html rehost]], created after the fic was originally deleted from FanfictionDotNet) is a now-completed ''Literature/WarriorCats'' FanFic that chronicles the life of [[{{OC}} StarGleam]], [[TheChosenOne StarClan's chosen one]], from her apprentice ceremony onward. She deals with such trials and tribulations as a LoveDodecahedron [[RelationshipSue with Firestar, Graystripe, Blackstar, Hawkfrost, and Ashfur]]; the threat of Hollyleaf and Tigerstar as they try to take over the forest; and attempting to convert the Clans to Christianity. Somewhere along the way she discovers that she ([[AuthorAvatar along with the author]]) is a lesbian, becomes leader of [=ThunderClan=], and [[DeathIsCheap dies multiple times]].

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6295790/1/StarKis_Prophecy StarKits Prophcy]]'' (also found at its [[http://starkitsprophecy.webstarts.com/index.html rehost]], created after the fic was originally deleted from FanfictionDotNet) is a now-completed ''WarriorCats'' FanFic that chronicles the life of [[{{OC}} StarGleam]], [[TheChosenOne StarClan's chosen one]], from her apprentice ceremony onward. She deals with such trials and tribulations as a LoveDodecahedron [[RelationshipSue with Firestar, Graystripe, Blackstar, Hawkfrost, and Ashfur]]; the threat of Hollyleaf and Tigerstar as they try to take over the forest; and attempting to convert the Clans to Christianity. Somewhere along the way she discovers that she ([[AuthorAvatar along with the author]]) is a lesbian, becomes leader of [=ThunderClan=], and [[DeathIsCheap dies multiple times]].

* {{Crossover}}: Given the geographical and species barriers, the [=HoBare=] may be the closest we'll get to having a ''WarriorCats''/''[[{{Literature/Seekers}} Seekers]]'' crossover.

** Even that's questionable, as on the official ''WarriorCats'' forum, where she has made one or two posts, her handle is "xdarkrosesx"; perhaps the period was a mistake.

* FoeYay: In the middle of a fight, [=HawkFrost=] and [=AshKit=] suddenly start to [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "mack our"]].

* OneSceneWonder / HeroicSacrifice: [=BubbleFur=] (or "Bublesfor").

* ThisIsSPARTA: "YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!"

* RapeAsComedy: [=BlackStar=]'s [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "MOLE STRAEP"]] of [=StarPaw=] in chapter five, but YourMileageMayVary.
** RapeAsDrama: It's treated as this, [[{{Narm}} but...]]

[[caption-width-right:259:For the record, nothing as down-to-earth as [=StarKit's=] face emerging from a circle in the sky happens in this fanfiction[[hottip:*:... until the epilogue, when it ''[[AscendedFanon does]]'']].]]

* BeyondTheImpossible: The spelling is ''actually worse'' than that of ''MyImmortal''.
** The Christmas special took the religious symbolism to an new level when it flat out called [=StarKit=] Jesus.
* BigNo: The first one debuts in chapter 12, and they get more and more frequent until there's one ''or more'' per chapter.
** There is also a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Big Moo]], and a Big "~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111".
** What do you get when you combine GratuitousJapanese with BigNo? "IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !1!"

* UnusualChapterNumbers: The chapters are ordered "oen", "to", three, three, "For", five, six, "Ate", "NEIN", ten, 11, 12, 13, "Fortene", "Fiften", sixteen, 17, "Eitheen", 19, 19, 20, 21, "[=NextChapter=]", 23, 22, 25, 27, 27, 28, 30, 31, 23, 24, thirty-two, [[BeyondTheImpossible 333]], 34, 34, un-numbered ChristmasSpecial, "Fourty," 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, "47 EPILOUGE."

** Notable examples are how "Hollylea" is now a "SHAPSHITTER" who can turn into a "bare", and when "[=TiggerStraw=]" tries to kill "[=FuhrStar=]" with [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "SOME JEW!"]]

* BackFromTheDead: [=StarGleam=] (''twice''), [=AshFir=], and all the cats listed under IGotBetter.

* DeathIsCheap: So far, ''every single character who has died'' has come back ([[{{Reincarnation}} with]] or [[IGotBetter without]] explanation).

* IGotBetter: Jayfeather, [=RedPaw=], [=LakePool=], [=FlamePelt=], Lionblaze, and [=TigerStar=] all die and show up again for no apparent reason.

* YouKilledMyFather PrepareToDie: After Hollyleaf kills [=JayFeather=] [[OneHitKO in one shot by simply staring at him]], [=StarGleam=] pounces at Holly, misses, and takes out [=TigerStar=] instead. [=StarGleam=] is sad for about two chapters, but then forgets the whole thing entirely when [=JayFeather=] [[IGotBetter returns]] with no given explanation .

-->''[[MemeticMutation "And he held out... SOME JEW!"]]''

* CookieCutterFic / FandomSpecificPlot: A new kit is born into [=ThunderClan=], there's a prophecy by [=StarClan=] proclaiming she will save the forest, and she becomes leader. What makes this one special is its [[SoBadItsGood hilariously bad execution]] and extreme WriterOnBoard tendencies.

* FanArt: It has [[http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a156/Glittermew/starkitsprophcy.png two]] [[http://i46.tinypic.com/208d8oz.jpg covers]], [[http://x-musty-x.deviantart.com/art/StarKits-Prophcy-Swisscide-175291483 and]] [[http://x-musty-x.deviantart.com/art/StarKits-Prophcy-PLEBIANS-173609701 these]] [[http://x-musty-x.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2wcwi6 drawings]]. [[http://acirecake.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d489qct]].
** [[http://cf.sketchfu.com/i/3769055.png Here's some more.]]

** [[http://i49.tinypic.com/5zmh34.png Here]]'s one that's more a banner than an illustration of a scene.

The author has also started a sequel, titled ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7762530/2/StarKits_PRophec_2_The_Two_Sibinglgs [=StarKits=] [=PRophec=] 2: The Two Sibinglgs]]''. A new Clan called [=MapleClan=] is introduced. Stargleam and some other characters from the first fic are in [=StarClan=], and they receive a new prophecy to repeat to the Clans.

The author has also started a sequel, titled ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7762530/2/StarKits_PRophec_2_The_Two_Sibinglgs [=StarKits=] [=PRophec=] 2: The Two Sibinglgs]]''. A new Clan called [=MapleClan=] is introduced. Stargleam and some other characters from the first fic are in [=StarClan=], and they recieve a new prophecy to repeat to the Clans.

The author has also started a sequel, titled ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7762530/2/StarKits_PRophec_2_The_Two_Sibinglgs [=StarKits=] [=PRophec=] 2: The Two Sibinglgs]]''. With a new editor, a new Clan called [=MapleClan=] is introduced. Stargleam and some other characters from the first fic are in [=StarClan=], and they recieve a new prophecy to repeat to the Clans.

* GenreLaunch: While ''WarriorCats'' [[TrollFic troll fics]] [[FanFic/HiddenProphices had certainly existed before]], [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6280173/1/SwetPaws_Tme many]] [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6139364/1/Chaotic_Seasons more]] [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6672990/1/Loveylkits_story have]] [[http://forums.warriorcats.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=982107&f=2941062464&m=34710682711&r=15910682711#15910682711 sprung]] [[http://forums.warriorcats.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=982107&f=2941062464&m=89610803711&r=89610803711#89610803711 up]] since the birth of ''[=StarKits=] Prophcy''. ''FanFic/HiddenProphices'' was even [[DeadFic revived]] because of it.

* CompletelyMissingThePoint: 'Also im not a [[{{Troll}} torll]]!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!'

---> "OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint 'No ur much prtter then sourg']] said Graystripe

[[redirect:FanFic/{{Ptitleh1qfbg3l}}]]

[[quoteright:250:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/spcover_9790.png]]
[[caption-width-right:259:For the record, nothing as down to earth as [=StarKit's=] face emerging from a circle in the sky happens in this fanfiction.]]

-->''[[MemeticMutation "And he held out... SOME JEW!"]]''

-->''[[DullSurprise "i know rite."]]''

''[[http://starkitsprophecy.weebly.com/ Starkit's Prophecy]]'' (Actually, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "[=StarKits=] Prophcy"]]) is a [[strike:fanfiction]] indescribable mess of words based ([[{{Understatement}} loosely]]) on the canon of ''[[strike: MyImmortal]]'' ''WarriorCats'', which has been notorious for spawning horrible to horrifying fan works. The central character of this story is [[strike: Sarpaew]] [[strike: Stapaw]] [[strike: Starepaw]] [[MarySue [=StarPaw=]]], a kit born to [[strike: [=ThunderClan=]]] Thunderclan. The prologue is just your average bad fanfic, but then [[ItGetsWorse it gets worse]]. The spelling takes a sharp nosedive and there isn't anything to make up for it. Rest assured that, if nothing else, it's probably a {{Troll Fic}}.

Three amusing [[DramaticReading dramatic readings]] have surfaced so far. They can be found [[http://www.youtube.com/user/Hawkstar270#p/search/6/L-QFlDs3Fi0 here]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ghoLFkdx2U&feature=related here]], and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rx7srhe-oE here]].

The [[strike:plot]] [[strike:story]] [[strike:fic]] series of events:

[[folder:Summary]]
Some time after the events of ''[[strike:Sunrise]]'' ''Sunset'', [[strike:Jayfeather]] [=JayFeathern=], somehow forgetting how much he hates [[spoiler:his mother]] for doing the same, gets in a relationship with a [=ShadowClan=] cat named [[strike:Dawnsparkle]] [=DawnSparkle=], who we have never heard of before. The whole Clan doesn't oppose their forbidden relationship for some reason, and before the start of the fic, they have three kits named [=FlameKit=], [=LakeKit=], and [[strike:MarySue]] [=StarKit=].

[[strike:[=StarClan=]]] Starcaln also receives a prophecy: "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

The first actual chapter starts during [=SatrKit=]'s apprentice [[strike:ceremony]] serimony, during which [[strike:Firestar]] Firehert makes her his apprentice, and she is now known as [=StraPaw=], even though she is still called "[=StarKit=]" sometimes. [=JayFeather=] then tells her about the prophecy, apparently having been told it off screen.

After a completely random, pointless, and unbelievably short battle with [=ShadowClan=] (one sentence), and some training ([=StarPaw=] being a massive GodModeSue throughout both), [=StraKit=] somehow ends up in a LoveDodecahedron [[RelationshipSue with Firestra, [=GayStri;e=], and [=BlackStar=]]], the last of whom actually tries to [[strike:molest]] [[strike:rape]] mole straep her.

[=StraOaw=] eventually goes to [=JayFeather=], who tells her that she needs to make a choice, which is apparently all she needs to choose between the three toms.

She chooses [=FirStar=], but before she can tell him, he decides to make her a warrior. Even though most apprentices have to train for six months to become warriors, [=StraOaw=] is [[MarySue so perfect]] that she is being made a warrior after only [[MouthfulOfPi 3.14]] days.

She is now known as [=StraGlaem=], even though she is still called "[=StarPaw=]" or "[=StarKit=]" sometimes.

But after the "serimony", they get attacked by [[strike:WINDCLAN]] [=HolyLeaf=] and [=TiggerStraw=].

[=HolyLefa=] kills [=JayFather=] and [=StarGleam=] kills [=TiggerSar=] in two consecutive {{Curb Stomp Battle}}s, and [=Holyleaf=] kidnaps [=FirPaw=].

Apparently having the authority to do so, [=StarGleam=] puts together a [[strike:patrol]] parol to go after them.

[=HolyLeaf=] kills [=LakePool=] before revealing that she is one of the Three [[spoiler:despite her not being one in the actual books]], and that her power is that she is a [[strike:shapeshifter]] shapshitter.

Using her powers, Holyleaf transforms into a [[strike:[[Literature/{{Seekers}} bear]]]] bare, which [=SatrGlem=] defeats... somehow.

[=HolyLeaf=] then possesses [=LakePaool=]'s body, and after god knows what happens, [=RedOaw=], and possibly [=LoinHear=], end up dead and [=OllyLeaf=] turns back into a bare.

Forgetting that he died earlier, [=TigerClar=] also shows up to try and kill [=FuhrStar=] with some [[strike:yew]] Jew, which at first fails to work because there is a newt on it. This plan doesn't last very long, as he then suddenly kidnaps [=StarFlame=] and runs to Shadowcaln.

Even though he was kidnapping her, [=StarKit=] is suddenly chasing [=TigerClaw=], but she can't catch up because he is too [[strike:fast]] fat.

Forgetting about the whole being dead thing, Jayfeater tells her that she can't kill [=TiggerStar=] because he is already dead. They need to go to [[strike:the Dark Forest]] teh Fark Foreste to do it.

Forgetting about everyone else, [=StraGlma=] goes to sleep and instantly ends up in the Drak Forest. Unfortunately, [[strike:Darkstripe]] [=BlackStripe=] sees her sneaking up on Tigersar and warns him at the last minute. [=starGleam=] is disgusted by how unfair this is.

With her surprise attack ruined, [=TiggerStar=] manages to fatally wound her. As she lies there with blood [[AccidentalInnuendo cumming]] out out her [[strike: wound]] wand, [[strike:Hawkfrost]] [=HawekFrost=] is overcome by how [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]] she is, and turns on [=TiggerStraw=].

But his efforts were in vain, and [=SarGlema=] manages to say "I love you" to no one in particular before she [[HowDoIUsedTense "was died"]].

She then wakes up, and [[strike:Yellowfang]] [=YelllowFang=], who is apparently red, informs her that she is in Stracaln.

[=StraGlame=] talks with the other [=StarCaln=] cats, including [[strike:Leafpool]] [=LeafPool=], who isn't even dead, and they say that they will send her back. They also charge her with bringing the [[strike:Ten Commandments]] Ten Commondents to the calns, because they won't listen.

With no one being surprised about how she has risen from the dead, and everyone apparently having forgotten about the events of the past ten or so chapters, [=starGlaem=] reads tunderclaln the Tebn Conmondants, which are apparently an incredibly butchered version on the Ten Commandments, with an added "No BENG GAY!f".

The [[strike:Clan]] cat renounce their sinner ways, except for [=REdpaw=] and [=LakePaool=], who suddenly start making out, despite both being dead.

[=StarGlam=] is horrified. Not because they have [[BackFromTheDead risen from the grave]], but because they are "[[SchoolgirlLesbians BENG GAY]]."

She tells them how wrong they are, and they almost immediately agree and are apparently straight now. [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment This quarter-chapter romance had no point]] [[AuthorFilibuster other than to let the author show off how homophobic they are]].

[=FireStar=] also shows up, no longer having been kidnapped, meaning we have officially reached the point where every single plot development before Chapter 15 has been completely forgotten.

[=FireStar=] tells her that she should share the Commandmeonts at the [[strike:Gathering]] Gathern, which is conveniently on the very same day.

The other Clans react pretty much the same way [=ThunderClam=] did, and all say that they won't sin again. At that point [=Firestar=] realizes that [=StarGlame=] will be a much better [[strike:leader]] letter than him, and offers her the position, despite the fact that she isn't deputy, hasn't had an apprentice, and isn't even old enough to be a proper warrior. [=StarGlame=]'s response?: [[GratuitousJapanese Kawaii]].

They then set out to the [[strike:Moonpool]] [[strike:Moonstone]] [=MonStone=] to get her [[strike:[[CatsHaveNineLives nine]]]] [[GratuitousGerman nein]] lives.

However, before they can head off, they get attacked by Shadwclan, somehow not caring about the rule against starting a fight at a Gathering. [=BlackSrar=] is trying to stop [=SatyrGleam=] because if she becomes leader, it would be impossible for her to have his kits.

[=FireHeart=] and [=GaryStripe=] stand up for her and say that they love her too. [=BlackStar=] just accepts this and leaves.

They eventually get to heading towards the [[strike:[=MoonSnot=]]] [=MoonPolo=], and [=SatrGleam=] receives lives from [[strike:Bluestar]] [=BullStar=], [[strike:Yellowfang]] Yellow[[HideYourGays Fag]], [[strike:Brambleclaw]] [=BambleCalw=] (who isn't even dead), [[strike:Whitestorm]] [=WithStorm=], [[strike:possibly Leafpool]] [=LeaveWind=], [[strike:Brindleface]] [=BundleFace=], [[strike:Tallstar]] [=TailStar=], and [[strike:Stonefur]] [=StoneFur=].

When she is going to recieve her ninth life, a [[strike:lion]] LINO appears. Apparently, it is [[strike:Thunderstar]] [=ThungerStar=], the first leader of [=ThunerClan=], which was apparently also [=LoinClan=]. Why [=ThunderStar=] is a lion, we will never know.

In a rare moment of intelligence, [=StarPaw=] realises that her leader name will be [=StarStar=], which even she thinks sounds stupid. She asks to have her leader name changed to [[strike:Gleamstar]] [=GleamStsr=], a request that is granted because she is [[MarySue so special]]. She is now known as [=GlaeStar=], even though she is still called "[=StarGlea=]", and sometimes even "[=StarStar=]" or "[=StarGleamStar=]".

[[DiabolusExMachina But suddenly]], [=TigerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=] come out of nowhere. They make everything become dark, and an army of rogue cats comes out and starts killing everybody.

[[DeusExMachina But suddenly]], [=HackFrost=] appears and makes all the bad stuff disappear, [=StarGleamStar=]'s [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]]-ness apparently having turned him into a DracoInLeatherPants MarySue.

They all head back to camp, and when [=GleamStar=] returns, everyone is excited to see her, and start calling her by her new name even though they shouldn't know it yet.

[=GleamSar=] tells [=LinoBlaz=] to send a [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe patrole]] to the [[strike:[=ShadowClan=] border]] Sadowclan boulder to tell [=BlackStar=] that she is leader now, which he already knows.

As everyone continues to pester her about the serimy, she heads to her den because she wants to have a [[YouKeepUsingThatWord niche]] to herself.

But when she gets to her den, she learns that [=FireHert=] is going to [[strike:leave]] leaf to be a rogue or join [[strike:[=SkyClan=]]] [=skyCaln=] for a while because he can't be ledder. Then he luf.

[=StarGamet=] is sad at first, but gets over it almost immediately. [=HawkFrot=] then immediately shows up completely out of nowhere ([[LampshadeHanging even the fic describes it like this]]), and confesses his love for [=StarStar=], at which point she wraps her tail around his face, which is apparently a gesture of affection.

The next morning, [=StarKit=] wakes up to someone yowling. She rushes outside to see….. TIGEERSTAR! He tells her that he's "[[GratuitousGerman gott]]" to kill her, and [=HollyLefa=] agrees from his [[strike: side]] [[JuliusCaesar ides]]. Gleam Star tells everyone to get out of the [[strike: camp]] cramp, but [[strike: Birchfall]] [=BarkFall=], apparently speaking for the whole Clan, tells her that they elov her so much that they couldn't leafe her.

NAD THE CATS FOUT!

[=HolyKeaf=] turns into a [[strike: fox]] [[FreudianSlip fux]]. [=GlameStar=] is surprised, and doesn't get out of the way in time. But just before it's too [[strike: late]] latte, [[DeusExMachina LinoBlaze]] [[strike: appears]] [[DeusExMachina apparets in front of her]]. He [[TakingTheBullet takes the hit for her]], and the narrative spontaneously devolves into PurpleProse (or what passes for it in this fic) and switches to [=HawkForts=]'s point of view to describe the tears falling down [=GleamStart=]'s [[strike: cheeks]] checks.

[=LionBealze=], [[FridgeLogic who is apparently no longer invulnerable in battle]], tells her that it's oyak, because doeing for her makes him gay whit hapyness. This prompts the response: "LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" [=StG;eamStar=] begins to wonder if her Clan is going [[strike: queer]] quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!

[=GleamStar=] then begins angry because [=HollyFale=] killed her [[strike: father's brother]] brother's father and leaps at her, but [=HolltLeaf=] tells her that it's too late and to look behind her. When she does, she sees [=TiggClaw=] scratching [=DawnSpaekle=]. [=StarGleam=] [[CurbStompBattle runs up to him and claws him, and he runs away]]. She then turns to [[GratuitousJapanese Hacky-kin]] and tells him that he should leave because it's too [[strike:dangerous]] danheros, but he responds with "[[GratuitousJapanese iie]]" because he lobes her and wan't live her.

But the invaders (possibly just [=TiggerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=]) are already leaving. Tiggerstar [[MoodWhiplash laughs sadly]] and says that she may have defted them this time, but nest time they'll be STORNGER. They then leave, and thuneer clan is saf!

Gleamstar then makes [=JazzPaw=] a warrior so she can be her depudy (as apparently cats don't need apprentices to become deputy in this universe) and names her [=JazzSong=]. She's a bit mean about it, but nobody really minds this because they realize that she's still sad over linblaze, and besides, most of them find it kawaii when her eyes [[PerfectlyCromulentWord robble]] when she's angry.

[=StarG;eam=] and [=hawkFrost=] sleep together, but [[AuthorFilibuster NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?]]

The next morning, after awaking and sending a parolel to the Windyclan broader, [=StarGleam=] returns to [=HawkGorest=] and [[strike: wakes]] [[FreudianSlip coks]] him up because she has to tell him sumthn. She then suggests that they get [[strike: married]] [[CanonDefilement marred]], to which he agrees very quickly.

They call a Clan meeting, and the cats gather quickly, even though [[strike: Millie]] Milloe is upset because [[spoiler:[[strike: Briarpaw]] [=BriadPaw=] has been hurt]]. [=StarPaw=] announces that she and [=HawkFrost=] are getting mriaged, and everyone starts [[strike: clapping]] [[FreudianSlip crapping]]. [[FridgeLogic Despite being cats.]] [[MindScrew Somehow.]]

Then [[strike: Bumblepaw]] [=BubPaw=] speaks up, and [=StarGStar=] nearly doesn't listen to him because the author thinks [[UnfortunateName his name is stupid]], but in the end decides to [[strike: humor?]] hurm him. He suggests that they announce the marriage at the next Gathern, which is, once again, conveniently the very same night even though only a few says have passed at the most.

The Thhner caln cats leave for the Gatherin, but when the get there, they discover that [[strike: Blackstar?]] [=BullStar=] is dead, and in his [[strike: place]] palsh is [[strike: Firestar]] FLAMESTAR!

Apparently, [=BlakStar=] was so depressed about how he couldn't be [=GleamStar's=] [[strike:mate]] meat that he [[strike:commited suicide]] mocitted swisscide, so [=ShaderClan=] made [=FierStart=] their leader.

Instead of commenting on [[CanonDefilement stupid this entire situation is]], all [=StarGleam=] can say is "OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN", to which [=FireStar=] responds with "[[DullSurprise i know rite.]]"

[=GleamStar=] runs up to the [=HighOka=], everyone noticing that she looks even more [[strike:radiant]] readient than usual, so that she can [[strike:announce]] nounce her marriage to Hawkfrost-[[JapaneseHonorifics kun]].

When she is making the announcement, all of the clans refer to her as "ledder", meaning that she has [[CanonDefilement somehow become leader of all four Clans]].

All of the Clans are overjoyed to hear this news for some reason, but as the marrige is about to begin, a [[strike:noise]] nose from [[strike:above]] abobe calls out "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE"

The [[strike:voice]] vice is coming from THE DAK FOREST. Suddenly, there are [[strike:clouds]] clods, and it starts raining, and after all that random build-up, a bolt of lighting strikes [=StarFleam=], and she feels herself DID.

She wakes up in the dark frost, and sees someone that she thinks is [=BackStar=] but turns out to be [[strike:Ashfur]] [=ASSFyR=]! Ashfir tells her that she is beautiful, like [[strike:Squirrelflight]] [=SquireFlit=], and asks her to be his met, to which Gleam responds "[[BigNo NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]]"

And then... was [[strike:Brokenstar]] [=BROCKENSTAR=]?

[=StarGleam=] [[AntiClimax simply runs away]] and ends up in Starcaln with [=YellowFangn=], [=SpottedLeaf=] and [=BakSrae=]. [=LefPool=] and [=BrambleClan=] are there, too, despite not being dead.

The [=StarCan=] cats decide to [[strike:reincarnate]] reincart her, a situation that she equates to [[spoiler:[[strike:Cinderheart]] [=CinderPaw=]]], even though [=JayFeathern=] and [=LefPool=] are the only living cats that know anything about that.

To make things even more confusing, [[spoiler:[[strike:Cinderpelt]] [=CinderPelt=]]] shows up, apparently not having been reincarnated at all, despite the fact that she still claims she was.

Despite having already done the same thing, [=StarCaln=] needs to figure out how to reincarnate [=GlemStar=], so they tell her "go do somethinm elese"

She somehow sees Hawk Frost mourning over her dead body and tries to talk to him. He can apparently hear her but can't see her, causing him to [[EpicFail bump into a tree and fall over]].

[=GleamGleam=] leaves and then bumps into [[strike:Fallen Leaves]] [[HowDoIUsedTense Falled]] leaf, who she shouldn't even know exists. He has come to deliver a prophecy, even though it's more a simple statement of fact than a prophecy. He says that there are some cats who still don't believe in Starcaln, which is something ''he'' shouldn't even know exists. Him saying this causes someone of something to say "WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY"

He tells her that [[strike:Cloudtail]] [=ClodTail=] and [[strike:Mothwing]] [=MotWig=] are [[RonTheDeathEater being used by the Dork Forest]], presumably just because [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous they're]] [[AuthorFilibuster atheists]]. Falled Leave tells her to "Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##!"

But before se has [[strike:time to think]] tim to thick, it is time for her be [[GratuitousFrench rien]]carted. To come back to life, she has to step through a [[strike:portal]] purtel, but before she could jump in, [[strike:Ashfur]] [=HawkAShfur=] [[FreudianSlip pussed]] against her, causing her to go through the portal.

But it turns out that [[FreudianSlip ASHFUR Had cum]] BACK [=ThRU TO1=]!11!1

She then wakes up in the forest as newborn [=StarKit=], meaning technically she should be in the nursery. Apparently, since she's a kit, she can't talk and can only say "Mew".

But she is suddenly able to say "t!" when she realises that her mother is [=HolyLeaf=].

Apparently she's now in the nursery of [=Donderclan=] camp like she should, and [=TigerSar=] comes in as he is apparently her father.

When and why [=TiggerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=] mated, as well as why [=ThunderClan=] accepted them is a total mystery.

Apparently having full motor functions and the ability to talk ([[PlotHole despite the fact that a few paragraphs earlier she couldn't]]), she heads out into the clearing and sees the clan sitting vigil for [=StarStar=], but also notices [=RedPaw=] and [=lakePool=] sitting with their tails twined, prompting her [[strike:first words]] firt sors: [[AuthorFilibuster "I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein]] [[strike:lesbians]] [[JuliusCaesar plebian?"]].

After [=LakePawl=] and [=FlamePaw=] say she's just a kit, they direct her over the nursery (which is where she came from) to go see [[strike:Stormfur]] [=StormFur=] and [[strike:Brook]] Book's new kit, [=AshKit=], ie. [=AssFyr=]'s reincarnation.

But before she can talk to him... "HAHA LAQWL" yelld a locked up.

It seems a battle between Starcaln and the Dark Forest is happening in some non-specified location above the camp, as pointed out by the [[BackFromTheDead no longer dead]] [=LinoBlaze=].

[=StarKit=] notices that [=HolyLeaf=] and [=TigerStar=] are on the Dark Forest's side, and realises that her parents are EVUL!

Apparently the Starlan warriors are attacking the camp, led by Firestar. [=StarKit=], reactivating GodModeSue mode, starts beating up warriors even though she is just a kit. [=StarKit=] is confused about how she knows how to fight, proclaiming it a [[strike:mystery]] mistery.

She suddenly gets attacked by some big cat, causing red stuff to [[FreudianSlip cum]] out of her [[RougeAnglesOfSatin era]]. Anger [[strike:burns]] borns in her chest, and she bits out his [[strike:[[SlashedThroat throat]]]] thought. He [[FreudianSlip cocks]] and then dies.

[[ThouShaltNotKill No one seems to care that she just killed a cat]].

She notices that the Starclan warriors are now running into the camp, including [[strike:Crowfeather]] [=CorFeather=], who isn't even dead, and his brother [[strike:Eaglekit]] [=EggleWing=], who disappeared from the series before he even got a warrior name.

As the cats fight, she notices [[strike:Tigerstar]] [[strike:[=TiggerStar=]]] [=GiterStar=] who jumps at [=BlueStar=], [[CurbStompBattle causing her to kill him instantly]].

[=HolyLeaf=] is distressed by this to the point where [=GleamStar=] can see the sad in her eyes, and she runs away from the carp.

Without any explanation of [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment what the hell any of that was about]], some nameless cat notices that [=StarKit=] is hurt, so everyone treats her first before tending to any of the other cats because [[MarySue she's so special]].

Another nameless cat remarks [[DullSurprise "Oh no StarKits parents are gon. Someoen nedes 2 be her parents."]], at which point [=RedPaw=] and [=LakePooooool=] volunteer.

[=StarKit=] lets out a BigNo, since for someone as homophobic as she is, being adopted by lesbians is AFateWorseThanDeath. She continues freaking out about how horrible it is to be exposed to [[strike:lesbians]] LESBITS, and how wrong it is, marking the point where (YourMileageMayVary) her homophobia crosses into DudeNotFunny territory.

She yells at her adopted parents about how BENG GAY is against the [[strike:Ten Commandments]] [=BibTen=] Comandamnt. Her new parents say that she wasn't alive then, so she shouldn't know about the Commandments, and finish off by saying that they were fake. Apparantly, the massive BlackHoleSue that was [=GlameStar=] was the only thing that made anybody care about any of that stuff at all.

Letting out another BigNo, she runs into the forest to avoid being exposed to lesbians, and [=AssKit=] follows her. He asks her what's wrong, and when she tells him, he seems to be just as homophobic, and [[AuthorFilibuster they agree to make them see the light]].

She then sees [=JazzPaw=], who informs her that she is now [=JazzStar=] after [=StarGleam=]'s death. [=StarKit=], or rather [=StarGleam=] due to RougeAnglesOfSatin, [[AskAStupidQuestion then asks who StarGlaem is]].

But the subject is immediately dropped, and the head back to camp, [=StarKit=] [[BrattyHalfPint still not willing to accept her parents]].

The story than skips ahead to six moons later, to [=StarKit=]'s apprentice ceremony. [=JazzSong=] names her [=StarPaw=], but then adds "Your mwneot will be", which for some reason causes [=StarPaw=] to let out ''another'' BigNo.

Then, apparently [=HawkFrots=] was assigned to be her mentor. They have a short conversation, then [=AsgkKit=] asks her to go into the forest with her. She does, and eventually he asks her to be his mate. She says yes, when [=HaekFrost=] barges in and says that he wants to be her [[strike:mate]] matt. [=AshPaw=] and [=HaekFrost=] [[RelationshipSue start fighting over Stargleam]], and a lost of blod was spilled. The fight somehow ends in [[FoeYay them kissing]], and [=GleamStarKit=] yells "NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?" and runs away wailing because THEY WERE BENG GAY!

When she gets back to camp, [=RedFur=] is waiting for her, but she tries to avoid her since she can't be seen with a lesbian. [=RedPaw=] objects to this and reminds the ungrateful little homophobe [[MarySue Sue]] that her and [=LakePaool=] have been rassing her for mons.

[=StarGKit=] simply responds by saying that she saw [=HawkForest=] and [=AshFuru=] kissing, something that [=LakwPool=] sees no problem with, saying there is no problem being gay.

But of course, Starpaw still insists that it's wrong and runs out into the forest just to find [=HawkFort=] and [=AshTki=] [[strike:making out]] macking our again.

She tells them [[ThisIsSPARTA "YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!"]], and says that they aren't [[strike:accepted]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin excepted]] in ''[[BlackHoleSue her]]'' Caln and tells them to leave. [=HawkForst=] then rightfully points out that it's not her Clan ([[BlackHoleSue although it might as well be]]), but she simply comes back with [[YoMomma "YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!"]]

The two cats somehow accept this as a reason and leave to become rogues, leaving [[strike:[=StarKit=]]] ''the narrative'' to let out a BigNo as she realised she banished her [[strike:Mentor]] Mento [[strike:(The freshmaker)]].

She eventually bumps into [[strike:God knows who]] [=FlamaPelt=], who she descides to talk to because she is a good [[strike:straight]] steret cat, what with her totally male mate [[strike:someone else who doesn't appear to resemble any character]] [=NightRain=].

Of course, it turns out that [=FlamePetle=] is actually [[strike:bi]] [[BiTheWay by]], shocking both [=STarKit=] and [=NightStorm=]. [=FlamePelt=] announces that she is going to join the newly-formed [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Satin]]clan, because [[DepravedBisexual the fact that she's bisexual instantly makes her evil]].

[[strike:Nightrain]] [=RAINspolash=] than runs away after his mate disappears, leaving [=StawPaw=] to {{Wangst}} about how gay her family is.

But suddenly, looking at the tree that [=HawkGrost=] bumped into a few chapters ago causes all of her memories from her previous life to come back to her.
[[/folder]]

It is actually WorseThanItSounds.


Unfortunately, on August 11, 2010, the stnists at [[FanFictionDotNet Fanfiction.net]] removed the story because they had lost their faith in Ljess. The author's response to this news is as follows:

"''NOTE: THOSER * AT FOANFICTION.NET FELTED MY STOYRE!!!!!!1!!!1!!1@!1!!!!@! >>>>>>>>>>:( I DOSNT KNOW WHTA TO DO YET BUT MABEY ILL HAVE IT UP AGIAN [=OSMETIME1!!11!!!!1!!!=] THEY DONT BLEIVE IN JESSU I CNA JUTS TELLL!!!!!!!!!! IM SORRY TO THE GOOD PPL WHO BELIVE IN JESS WHO LICKED MY STORY.''"

------------------
!!''[=StarKits Prophcy=]'' provides examples of:
* AcceptableTargets: Homosezzuals, [[ValuesDissonance apparently]].
* AccidentalInnuendo: After it is remarked that it is [=StraGleam's=] second time out hunting, we get this gem: "she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and [=FireStar=] had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_." {{Squick}}.
** "Wll u be my mat" [[=GayStrip=]] [=ESked=].
* {{Anvilicious}}: Everything having to do with religion and homosexuality.
* AskAStupidQuestion: Chapter ten, where "Falmepaw" needs to know how to get back to her own camp.
** After experiencing her own death, Stargleam needs to ask how she died. And then almost immediately afterwards has to ask if she is dead again.
** '"who is [=StarGlaem=]" asked [=StarGleam=]'
* AssPull: ''Everything.''
* AuthorFilibuster: Screw the plot, using two whole chapters to teach the Clans about how important it is to find [[strike:God]] [=StarClan=] is ''much'' more important.
** The author also goes out of her way to remind us that [=G;eamStar=] and [=hawkFrost=] don't have sex before getting married.
** It's straying more and more into AuthorTract recently, as it now seems to be more about how "wrong" it is to be gay than any consistant plot element.
* BackFromTheDead: [=TiggerStraw=]. [=JayFeathern=]. Stargalme. [=LakePaool=]. [=RedPaw=]. [=LinoBlaze=].
** Of course, Stargalme is the only one out of them that is actually brought back to life. The others just show up again after dying for no particular reason.
*** [=GlameStra=] gets brought back to life a second time as well, alongside [=AshFir=].
** Although [[strike:Tigerstar]] [=TIGEERSTAR=] and [[strike:Hawkfrost]] Hawkyfrost are both dead in canon, they both seem to be alive for the purposes of this fic.
* [[BeginnersLuck Beginner's Luck]]: Chapter three, in which Firestar praises Starpaw with words of wisdom: [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter"]]
* BeigeProse: Especially early in the story.... "The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright."
* BiTheWay: [=FlamaPelt=] casually announces that she is "by", and that it doesn't matter. [=STarKit=] and [=NightStorm=] are shocked and try to tell her how "bed" it is, but she just ignores them and goes to join [[RougeAnglesOfSatin satinclan]]
** DepravedBisexual: It's treated as though she's this, however.
* BigLippedAlligatorMoment: You could make YourHeadAsplode [[MindScrew trying to figure]] out the significance of the newt in Chatter !1.
** ...[[EpicFail Or how a newt can stop "Jew" from being poisonous]].
** ...Or what's happening in the newest chapters.
* BigNo: [=StarGleam=] does a few of these in chapter 12, and [=FamePaw=] has an even bigger one in chapter 13.
** In chapter 18, [=GleamStar=] has a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Big Moo]].
** '"NOOP" said [=GleamStar=]'
** '[="NO9999999999999=] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam.'
** '"[=StarPaw=] noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" [[GratuitousFrench je yowle.]]'
** They keep getting more and more frequent; there's an average of ''one per chapter''.
*** Or ''more''. In the second Chapter 27, there's two plus a big "~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111".
* BigWordShout: There's one on nearly every page.
* BigYes: "YESSSASSSSS"
* BileFascination: It's as horribly mesmerizing as a natural disaster. A really amazingly badly-spelled natural disaster.
* CargoShip: [=JayFather=] mentions being in love with a stick, meaning the author has decided to make [=JayxStick=] canon. This is probably the only CanonDefilement that most fans won't object to, since [[CrackPairing a lot of them already ship him and the stick anyway]].
* CanadaEh: 'Dnt lie '''aboot''' yiour nieborgh.'
* CaptainObvious: "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." [=StarPaw=] gasped. "What does it mean?"
* CharacterDerailment / CanonDefilement:
** Jayfeather is now lacking the "jerk" part of JerkWithAHeartOfGold, and seems to have mated with some random [=ShadowClan=] cat, despite him being disgusted with forbidden relationships.
*** Not to mention the fact that not a single cat in the Clan objects to his Warrior Code-shattering relationship, either.
** Sandstorm is perfectly fine with Stargleam stealing Firestar from her, and doesn't protest at all.
** [[strike:Firestar]] [=FireScar=], [[strike:Graystripe]] [=GraStri;e=] and [[strike:Blackstar]] [=BalkStar=] are all suddenly prone to neglecting their existing mates and [[{{Squick}} falling in love with apprentices instead]].
*** Part of Blackstar's reasoning for falling in love with Stargleam is that she beat him in battle, something the real Blackstar would be far too proud to admit.
** Graystripe now hates Firestar, calls him an idiot, and says he's a mean cat.
** Hawkfrost betrays Tigerstar simply because Stargleam is [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]].
** Daisy, now [=FoxDaisypaw=], has decided to become a warrior. She is also being trained by Cloudtail, practically setting her up for truckloads of DieForOurShip.
** The fic takes place after ''[[strike:Sunrise]]'' ''Sunset'', meaning it would be set in the lake territories, but the mention of the [[strike:Great Rock]] [[strike:Highrock]] [=HighRoke=] and [[strike:Moonstone]] [=MonStone=] suggest that it is set in the Old Forest.
** Everyone apparently seems to be very happy that Thunderclan is being ruled by a [[strike:warrior]] apprentice six moons and three days old.
* CluelessAesop: The author's attempts to teach us that [[MemeticMutation BENG GAY!f]] is wrong. [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever And the evangelism.]]
* CompletelyMissingThePoint: 'Also im not a [[{{Troll}} torll]]!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!'
* ConflictBall: Three toms decide they want [=SatrPaw=] for themselves, leaving [=StarOaw=] upset and indecisive about which one to [ick.
** Now with the added conflict that she seems to be in love with [[DracoInLeatherPants [=Hawkfrost=]]] and she doesn't want to be (even though she seems perfectly fine with other cats WHO ALREADY HAVE MATES liking her...)
*** But this gets resolved when she just becomes [=HawekForest=]'s mate anyway, without any complaints at all.
** Now [=AshFurt=] is after her, too.
* CrackPairing: [=HolyLeafxTiggerStar=]
* CrowningMomentOfAwesome: Every damn paragraph.
* CrowningMomentOfFunny: '"Fuhrstar! yellded a [=TiggerStraw=]. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW!' With extra irony, since Tigerstar is canonically ANaziByAnyOtherName.
** 'She battlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats.'
** '"But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.'
** 'but he was to fat.'
** The [=HoBare=]. The freaking ''[=HoBare=]''.
*** To elaborate: "Everyone jumped at the [=HoBare=]!"
** [[BigNo MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!11]]
** '"Wit a rar like an volcano [[FreudianSlip erection]] she jumped at [=StarGlaem=]!"
** 'The told me that [=BlakStar=] was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide."'
*** '"i know rite." said [=FierStart=] "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat."'
** '"who is [=StarGlaem=]" asked [=StarGleam=]'
** "LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2"
** '[=HolyKeaf=] turned into… a…. FUX!'
* CurbStompBattle: Every single "fight" consists of one character running towards another character, and the other character dying.
* DearNegativeReader: Nearly every chapter.
* DiabolusExMachina: [=TigerStraw=] and [=HolyLeaf=] suddenly show up at the end of [=GlaemStar=]'s leadership ceremony and start causing trouble, until...
** DeusExMachina: A supposedly {{Heel Face Turn}}ed [[DracoInLeatherPants HawkForest]] comes out of nowhere and stops them instantly.
* DesignatedHero: [=StarGleam=].
* DidNotDoTheResearch: As the author says, "i havent actually red Fading Eches yet".
* [=~Don't Like, Don't Read~=]: "OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know."
* DracoInLeatherPants: [=HackFrost=] was chosen to undergo a HeelFaceTurn so that he could [[RelationshipSue fall in love with StraGlema]], presumably just because of his status as a MemeticSexGod and prime example of EvilIsSexy.
** Oddly enough, [=AssFir=] falls for [=GlemStar's=] charms too, but doesn't undergo this treatment, despite him being an incredibly popular DracoInLeatherPants among the rest of the fanbase.
* DramaticReading
* DrivenToSuicide: [=BlakStar=] mocits swisscide because he was so sad [=StarGleam=] woudnet be his meat.
* DullSurprise: After informing [=StarGleam=] of [[spoiler:[=BlakStar's=] swisscide]] and observing her shocked reaction, all [=FireStar=] can say in response is...
-->'''[=FierStart=]:''' i know rite.
* [[EverythingsBetterWithCows Everything's Better With Cows]]: MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!11
* [[EverythingsBetterWithSparkles Everything's Better With Sparkles]]: [=GleamStart=]'s [[strike: cheeks]] checks are very sparkly.
* [[EverythingsWorseWithBears Everything's Worse with HoBares]]
* FanDisservice: The author tries to make all of the same-sex kisses into this. It doesn't work.
* FlatWhat: '"Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." "what" said [=StarGleam=]'
* FoeYay: In the middle of a fight, [=HawekForst=] and [=AshGKit=] suddenly start [[strike:making out]] macking our.
* FreudianSlip: ''Several''. Highlights include '[=GayStrip=] locked at hr meanly.', '"without them we wold be lust."', '"NO!" shitted [=SarPaw=] Again runnin into the forst.', '"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly.', and 'Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at [=StarGlaem=]!'
** 'She saw [=FireStar=] cumin ... '
** '"With this life I give you corrage" said [=Yellowfag=]...'
** '"Ive got to do [=BlackSrar=] its my detsiny."'
** '[=StarGleam=] mead [=LoinBalze=] her depudy...'
** '[=HolyKeaf=] turned into... a... FUX!'
** '[=JazzPaw=] cum hear.'
** 'Everone startwf crapping!'
** 'Then the cat torned arund. It was… [=ASSFyR!=]'
** '[=HawkAShfur=] pussed aginst her!'
** '[=ASHFUR=] Had cum BACK [=ThRU TO1!11!1=]'
** 'He clawed her er there was red stuff cumming out of her era.'
** 'He cocked then died.'
* {{Gayngst}}: [=StarGleam=] has a moment of Teh Gay when she thinks [=RedPaw=] is beautiful. She does, however, quickly re-convince herself that she is [[DidNotDoTheResearch "street."]]
** And now [[LesYay RedPaw and LakePool]] feel sad because they aren't allowed to be in love... d'awww
** Also becomes in inversion, since all of the gay and lesbian couples are perfectly happy; it's [=StraPaw=] that constantly {{Wangst}}s at the fact that they're gay.
* GiftedlyBad: The author, xdark.rosesx. It's a wonder she managed to spell her username correctly.
** Even that's questionable, as on the official ''WarriorCats'' forum, where she has made one or two posts, her handle is "xdarkrosesx"; perhaps the period was a mistake.
* GirlOnGirlIsHot: Inverted as much as physically possible to [[AuthorTract justify the author's homophobia]].
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: "Shapshitter" [=HolyLeaf=].
* GoshDangItToHeck: In the author's note at the end of chapter 17, the author berates all bad reviewers for not believing in "[[EpicFail Gosh]]".
* GratuitousFrench: Constant RougeAnglesOfSatin leads to Bluestar occasionally being referred to as '''Bleu'''Star.
** '"[=StarPaw=] noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" '''je yowle'''.' [[strike:[[GrammarNazi Or rather, "Je yowlai", assuming "Yowler" is even a verb in the first place.]]]]
** '"You're never get '''moi''' to '''ete''' it!"'
* GratuitousGerman: Chapter Nein. And the nein lives. And Tigerstar's "gott" to kill [=GleamStar=].
* GratuitousJapanese: Both [=FirePaw=] and [=HawekFrost=] think [=StarPaw=] is "kawaii". Of course, since the characters [[TranslationConvention aren't actually speaking English in the first place]], and all the other languages seen are those of other animals which are simply rendered as barking/growling/whatever noise said animal makes, [[FridgeLogic one could assume this is roughly the equivalent of a cat mooing]].
** [=StraGlaem=] actually does moo once thanks to a combination of BigNo and RougeAnglesOfSatin.
** [=StraGlaem=] seems to get referred to as "Kawaii" more and more as the fic goes on.
** [=HawkForest=] once elects to use "iie" rather than "no."
** Hawkfrost is occasionally referred to as [[strike:[[JapaneseHonorifics "Hawky-kun"]]]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Hacky-kin"]] or [[JapaneseHonorifics "Hawkfrost-kun"]]
* HeelFaceTurn: [[DracoInLeatherPants HackForest]] has been [[RelationshipSue turned good by]] [=StraGlaem=]'s [[GratuitousJapanese Kawaii]]-ness.
* HideYourGays: The [[strike:Ten Commandments]] Ten Commdaments very clearly state "No BENG GAY!f"
* IdiotPlot
* IncestIsRelative: [=FirSatr=] is [=StraGlaem=]'s ''great grandfather''. {{Squick}}.
* InvincibleHero: [=StarGleamStar=], [[MarySue naturally.]]
* [=~Let's See YOU Do Better~=]: "i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1"
* MarySue: [[strike:Stargleam]] [=StarGlema=]... just, [=SarkGleam=]...
** BlackHoleSue: The entire fic is pretty much about how she is the most important cat in the forest. At one point, cats from the other Clans even refer to her as their leader.
** PuritySue: [[strike:Jesus]] [=GlemStar=], of course, who gave the caln the Ten Comondants and helped them find Ljess in order to protect them from becoming sinners.
** RelationshipSue: [=StarGlmae=] has [[strike:Firestar]] [=FirStra=], [[strike:Graystripe]] [=GayStrip=], [[strike:Blackstar]] [=balckStar=], [[strike:Hawkfrost]] [=HawekFrost=], and [[strike:Ashfur]] [=AshFurt=] padding after her for no particular reason.
** SympatheticSue: We're supposed to feel sorry for her because of the above situation.
** GodModeSue: She [[CurbStompBattle oneshots]] [[strike:Tigerstar]] Tigerstra. Freaking [[strike:[=TigerStra=]]] TIGGERSTAR!
*** "[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill [=StarPaw=] beat [=FireStar=] 8/10 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired."]] Good lord.
** JerkAssSue: Later chapters consist almost entirely of her running around [[AuthorTract yelling at gay couples about how wrong it is to be gay]].
* MemeticMutation: It's becoming very popular on [[WarriorsWish a certain fansite]] to quote and/or reference the fic.
* MisaimedFandom: The author believes that [=StarClan=] can solve all problems and that nothing will go wrong if the Clans follow their path. She doesn't realise that, although [=StarClan=] is worshipped like god, their power is actually limited, they choose to play TheWatcher instead of God, and are, if anything, used to ''criticise'' fanatical religious bigots like her.
* {{Narm}}: '''All of it.'''
** There's even a ''literal'' Narm in one chapter. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme."
* OnceUponATime: Jayfeathern's epic in Chapter six.
** "Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that i licked." {{Squick}}.
* OverlyLongName: [=FoxDaisyPaw=]
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: 'she was so '''foncusded'''!'
** '...[=StarG;eam=] was kawai when she was mad her eyes '''robbled'''.'
* PlotTumor: What little plot there ever was has been swallowed by the author's need to tell us that homosezzuality is bad.
** RomanticPlotTumor: For a few chapters early on, the main focus of the "story" was on the LoveDodecahedron between [=StarGleam=] and... everyone else.
* PurpleProse: ''Scarringly.'' "'noooooo' said [=GleamStart=]. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly thohth [=HawkForts=]."
* [[strike:[[RapeAsComedy Rape]]]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Mole Straep]] [[RapeAsComedy As Comedy]]: [=BlackkStar=] on [=sTarpaw=] in chapter five, but YourMileageMayVary.
** RapeAsDrama: It's treated as this, [[{{Narm}} but...]]
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Everywhere, all the time.
** Notable examples are how "Hollylea" is now a "SHAPSHITTER" who can turn into a "bare", and when "[=TiggerStraw=]" tries to kill "[=FuhrStar=]" with [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "SOME JEW!"]]
** There is even one instance of "satan" becoming "satin".
*** Don't forget, people who flame the story are "stnits" who don't believe in [[CrystalDragonJesus "ljess".]]
**** [[http://i687.photobucket.com/albums/vv237/Flametail_von_Karma/ljess.jpg Ljess?]]
*** As far as misspellings related to the author's religious fanaticism go, on her profile she says she hates Cloudtail and Mothwing because they're "[[HollywoodAtheist athletes]]".
** ''Bizarrely'' averted with the word "rogue" itself, which is actually spelled right. Of course, considering the nature of the fic, this could, in the author's mind, ''[[MindScrew actually be a spelling error]]''.
*** [[MindScrew In fact, it's the only word that she can consistantly spell correctly.]]
** In Chapter Sixteen, the Moonpool mysteriously changes to the '[=MoonSnot=]'.
** Chapter 27 the Mameries has a literal example, Satinclan.
*** Hell, the [[ThanksForTheMammary chapter's title itself]] is an example of this Trope...
** In one of the most [[MindScrew WTF-inducing]] instances of this, [=NightRain=] changes from [=NightStorm=] to [=RAINspolash=].
* RedundancyDepartmentOfRedundancy: '"Gasped" gasped everyone.'
** And '"Today is important today."'
** 'Then they were in the [[strike:Dark]] Fark Forest. It was dark. Here was no [[strike:moon]] mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see.'
** 'Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani' (Translation: Her rainbow eyes glowed like a rainbow)
** 'it hert [=StarFleam=]! It hurt.'
** '[=StarPaw=] wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y.'
** "She turned in…. A BARE!" One sentence later: "It was a bare!"
* RootingForTheEmpire: Basically everyone reading the fic agrees that [[SchoolgirlLesbians Redoaw and Lakepaool]] are the ''real'' heroes of the story.
** It's not that [=RedOaw=] and [=LakePoal=] are the heroes so much as their persecution by [[JerkAssSue StraGlema]] being the thing that makes her so unlikable.
* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: '"Gasped" gasped everyone.'
** '"gigle" he said'
* SayMyName: "FLAMEAPWWW!" "Fuhrstar!" [="LIonHEAR!"=] And so on.
* SchoolGirlLesbians: [=RedPaw=] and [=lakePolw=]. But it doesn't last long thanks to both homophobia and bad writing.
** Later, [=LakePaw=] and [=RedPaw=] even look sad, becas [=GleamStarg=] has sad they cant be in luv. [[spoiler:Thankfully, they get back together later]].
*** They even end up adopting [[spoiler:the reincarnated StarGlaem]], but she, of course, drops a BigNo.
* SexIsViolence: One can only assume that [=HawkForest=] and [=AssFur=]'s makeout session was a result of this.
* ShallowLoveInterest: All of [=GleamStar's=] love interests.
* ShillingTheWesley: Everyone ''adores'' [=StarGleam=].
* [=~So Bad It's Good~=] or [=~So Bad It's Horrible~=], [[YourMileageMayVary depending on your point of view.]]
* StealthParody: We can only hope it's a parody of bad fanfiction...
* StrawmanHasAPoint: The characters opposing [=GleamStar=] generally have more valid points than she does.
* TechnicolorEyes: Starkit's ''rainbow'' eyes.
** The [[strike:alleg]] alliances say her eyes are [[strike:molten?]] molting orange but they are described as rainbow in chapter 6.
*** They turn [[strike:molting]] malting orange again in Chaper Sixteen.
*** And then back to reinbow in Chater Eitheen.
* TheChosenOne: Among many other things, [=StraGlame=] was chosen to hand out the "Ten Commondents".
* ThisIsSPARTA: "YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!"
* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw Hopefully.]]
* UnfortunateNames: [=ToadRibbit=], [=BumbleFlower=], and [=FoxDaisyPaw=].
* WallBanger: Every single bit of this fic. Every. Single. Bit.
* {{Wangst}}: [=GlemaGleam=]'s angst over her Clan "bevoming quare."
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma
* WriterOnBoard
* WritersCannotDoMath: There are eleven Ten Commons.
** And the way they're counted in Chapter Fortene are: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 11.
** Additionally, the chapters are ordered "Chpater oen prouloge" (chapter one prologue), 2, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 19, 20, 21, author's note, un-numbered chapter, 23, 22, 25, 27, 27.
* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: '"I nedd you to take a '''patrole''' tothe Sadowclaw boulder,"
** '"HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE '''THOU'''."'
* YouFailLogicForever: All of it.
* YouFailReligiousStudiesForever: The Clans have never heard of God, nor do they practice any human religions. Yet they still say "Oh my god!" (or rather "OMG!" or "MOGOSH!"), and the Ten Commandments (or rather "Ten Commons") play a role in the story.
** The fact that anybody who doesn't like the fic is instantly a "stnist" who hates "jEssus" may count, too.
** "11. No BENG GAY!f"
* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Starkit's purple fur.
** The "ALLIANCES" actually describe her as 'graysh-blue-and purple'.
* YouKilledMyFather PrepareToDie: After [=HolyLefa=] kills [=JayFather=] [[OneHitKO in one shot by simply staring at him]], [=Stargleam=] pounces at Holly, misses, and takes out [=TiggerStar=] instead. [=StarGLem=] is sad for about two chapters, but then forgets the whole thing entirely when [=JayFather=] [[IGotBetter returns]] with no given explanation .
* YouNeedToGetLaid: [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation One could view StraKit as this]]. Her [[AuthorFilibuster strong moral stance]] against pre-marital sex and her death as she is getting married to [=HawekForest=] means that she hasn't had sex at all, which means that her following this trope could explain her being an uptight bitch who yells at all happy same-sex couples.
-----

Click the edit button to start this new page.

[[quoteright:250:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/spcover_9790.png]]
[[caption-width-right:259:For the record, nothing as down to earth as [=StarKit's=] face emerging from a circle in the sky happens in this fanfiction.]]

-->''[[MemeticMutation "And he held out... SOME JEW!"]]''

-->''[[DullSurprise "i know rite."]]''

''[[http://starkitsprophecy.weebly.com/ Starkit's Prophecy]]'' (Actually, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "[=StarKits=] Prophcy"]]) is a [[strike:fanfiction]] indescribable mess of words based ([[{{Understatement}} loosely]]) on the canon of ''[[strike: MyImmortal]]'' ''WarriorCats'', which has been notorious for spawning horrible to horrifying fan works. The central character of this story is [[strike: Sarpaew]] [[strike: Stapaw]] [[strike: Starepaw]] [[MarySue [=StarPaw=]]], a kit born to [[strike: [=ThunderClan=]]] Thunderclan. The prologue is just your average bad fanfic, but then [[ItGetsWorse it gets worse]]. The spelling takes a sharp nosedive and there isn't anything to make up for it. Rest assured that, if nothing else, it's probably a {{Troll Fic}}.

Three amusing [[DramaticReading dramatic readings]] have surfaced so far. They can be found [[http://www.youtube.com/user/Hawkstar270#p/search/6/L-QFlDs3Fi0 here]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ghoLFkdx2U&feature=related here]], and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rx7srhe-oE here]].

The [[strike:plot]] [[strike:story]] [[strike:fic]] series of events:

[[folder:Summary]]
Some time after the events of ''[[strike:Sunrise]]'' ''Sunset'', [[strike:Jayfeather]] [=JayFeathern=], somehow forgetting how much he hates [[spoiler:his mother]] for doing the same, gets in a relationship with a [=ShadowClan=] cat named [[strike:Dawnsparkle]] [=DawnSparkle=], who we have never heard of before. The whole Clan doesn't oppose their forbidden relationship for some reason, and before the start of the fic, they have three kits named [=FlameKit=], [=LakeKit=], and [[strike:MarySue]] [=StarKit=].

[[strike:[=StarClan=]]] Starcaln also receives a prophecy: "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

The first actual chapter starts during [=SatrKit=]'s apprentice [[strike:ceremony]] serimony, during which [[strike:Firestar]] Firehert makes her his apprentice, and she is now known as [=StraPaw=], even though she is still called "[=StarKit=]" sometimes. [=JayFeather=] then tells her about the prophecy, apparently having been told it off screen.

After a completely random, pointless, and unbelievably short battle with [=ShadowClan=] (one sentence), and some training ([=StarPaw=] being a massive GodModeSue throughout both), [=StraKit=] somehow ends up in a LoveDodecahedron [[RelationshipSue with Firestra, [=GayStri;e=], and [=BlackStar=]]], the last of whom actually tries to [[strike:molest]] [[strike:rape]] mole straep her.

[=StraOaw=] eventually goes to [=JayFeather=], who tells her that she needs to make a choice, which is apparently all she needs to choose between the three toms.

She chooses [=FirStar=], but before she can tell him, he decides to make her a warrior. Even though most apprentices have to train for six months to become warriors, [=StraOaw=] is [[MarySue so perfect]] that she is being made a warrior after only [[MouthfulOfPi 3.14]] days.

She is now known as [=StraGlaem=], even though she is still called "[=StarPaw=]" or "[=StarKit=]" sometimes.

But after the "serimony", they get attacked by [[strike:WINDCLAN]] [=HolyLeaf=] and [=TiggerStraw=].

[=HolyLefa=] kills [=JayFather=] and [=StarGleam=] kills [=TiggerSar=] in two consecutive {{Curb Stomp Battle}}s, and [=Holyleaf=] kidnaps [=FirPaw=].

Apparently having the authority to do so, [=StarGleam=] puts together a [[strike:patrol]] parol to go after them.

[=HolyLeaf=] kills [=LakePool=] before revealing that she is one of the Three [[spoiler:despite her not being one in the actual books]], and that her power is that she is a [[strike:shapeshifter]] shapshitter.

Using her powers, Holyleaf transforms into a [[strike:[[Literature/{{Seekers}} bear]]]] bare, which [=SatrGlem=] defeats... somehow.

[=HolyLeaf=] then possesses [=LakePaool=]'s body, and after god knows what happens, [=RedOaw=], and possibly [=LoinHear=], end up dead and [=OllyLeaf=] turns back into a bare.

Forgetting that he died earlier, [=TigerClar=] also shows up to try and kill [=FuhrStar=] with some [[strike:yew]] Jew, which at first fails to work because there is a newt on it. This plan doesn't last very long, as he then suddenly kidnaps [=StarFlame=] and runs to Shadowcaln.

Even though he was kidnapping her, [=StarKit=] is suddenly chasing [=TigerClaw=], but she can't catch up because he is too [[strike:fast]] fat.

Forgetting about the whole being dead thing, Jayfeater tells her that she can't kill [=TiggerStar=] because he is already dead. They need to go to [[strike:the Dark Forest]] teh Fark Foreste to do it.

Forgetting about everyone else, [=StraGlma=] goes to sleep and instantly ends up in the Drak Forest. Unfortunately, [[strike:Darkstripe]] [=BlackStripe=] sees her sneaking up on Tigersar and warns him at the last minute. [=starGleam=] is disgusted by how unfair this is.

With her surprise attack ruined, [=TiggerStar=] manages to fatally wound her. As she lies there with blood [[AccidentalInnuendo cumming]] out out her [[strike: wound]] wand, [[strike:Hawkfrost]] [=HawekFrost=] is overcome by how [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]] she is, and turns on [=TiggerStraw=].

But his efforts were in vain, and [=SarGlema=] manages to say "I love you" to no one in particular before she [[HowDoIUsedTense "was died"]].

She then wakes up, and [[strike:Yellowfang]] [=YelllowFang=], who is apparently red, informs her that she is in Stracaln.

[=StraGlame=] talks with the other [=StarCaln=] cats, including [[strike:Leafpool]] [=LeafPool=], who isn't even dead, and they say that they will send her back. They also charge her with bringing the [[strike:Ten Commandments]] Ten Commondents to the calns, because they won't listen.

With no one being surprised about how she has risen from the dead, and everyone apparently having forgotten about the events of the past ten or so chapters, [=starGlaem=] reads tunderclaln the Tebn Conmondants, which are apparently an incredibly butchered version on the Ten Commandments, with an added "No BENG GAY!f".

The [[strike:Clan]] cat renounce their sinner ways, except for [=REdpaw=] and [=LakePaool=], who suddenly start making out, despite both being dead.

[=StarGlam=] is horrified. Not because they have [[BackFromTheDead risen from the grave]], but because they are "[[SchoolgirlLesbians BENG GAY]]."

She tells them how wrong they are, and they almost immediately agree and are apparently straight now. [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment This quarter-chapter romance had no point]] [[AuthorFilibuster other than to let the author show off how homophobic they are]].

[=FireStar=] also shows up, no longer having been kidnapped, meaning we have officially reached the point where every single plot development before Chapter 15 has been completely forgotten.

[=FireStar=] tells her that she should share the Commandmeonts at the [[strike:Gathering]] Gathern, which is conveniently on the very same day.

The other Clans react pretty much the same way [=ThunderClam=] did, and all say that they won't sin again. At that point [=Firestar=] realizes that [=StarGlame=] will be a much better [[strike:leader]] letter than him, and offers her the position, despite the fact that she isn't deputy, hasn't had an apprentice, and isn't even old enough to be a proper warrior. [=StarGlame=]'s response?: [[GratuitousJapanese Kawaii]].

They then set out to the [[strike:Moonpool]] [[strike:Moonstone]] [=MonStone=] to get her [[strike:[[CatsHaveNineLives nine]]]] [[GratuitousGerman nein]] lives.

However, before they can head off, they get attacked by Shadwclan, somehow not caring about the rule against starting a fight at a Gathering. [=BlackSrar=] is trying to stop [=SatyrGleam=] because if she becomes leader, it would be impossible for her to have his kits.

[=FireHeart=] and [=GaryStripe=] stand up for her and say that they love her too. [=BlackStar=] just accepts this and leaves.

They eventually get to heading towards the [[strike:[=MoonSnot=]]] [=MoonPolo=], and [=SatrGleam=] receives lives from [[strike:Bluestar]] [=BullStar=], [[strike:Yellowfang]] Yellow[[HideYourGays Fag]], [[strike:Brambleclaw]] [=BambleCalw=] (who isn't even dead), [[strike:Whitestorm]] [=WithStorm=], [[strike:possibly Leafpool]] [=LeaveWind=], [[strike:Brindleface]] [=BundleFace=], [[strike:Tallstar]] [=TailStar=], and [[strike:Stonefur]] [=StoneFur=].

When she is going to recieve her ninth life, a [[strike:lion]] LINO appears. Apparently, it is [[strike:Thunderstar]] [=ThungerStar=], the first leader of [=ThunerClan=], which was apparently also [=LoinClan=]. Why [=ThunderStar=] is a lion, we will never know.

In a rare moment of intelligence, [=StarPaw=] realises that her leader name will be [=StarStar=], which even she thinks sounds stupid. She asks to have her leader name changed to [[strike:Gleamstar]] [=GleamStsr=], a request that is granted because she is [[MarySue so special]]. She is now known as [=GlaeStar=], even though she is still called "[=StarGlea=]", and sometimes even "[=StarStar=]" or "[=StarGleamStar=]".

[[DiabolusExMachina But suddenly]], [=TigerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=] come out of nowhere. They make everything become dark, and an army of rogue cats comes out and starts killing everybody.

[[DeusExMachina But suddenly]], [=HackFrost=] appears and makes all the bad stuff disappear, [=StarGleamStar=]'s [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]]-ness apparently having turned him into a DracoInLeatherPants MarySue.

They all head back to camp, and when [=GleamStar=] returns, everyone is excited to see her, and start calling her by her new name even though they shouldn't know it yet.

[=GleamSar=] tells [=LinoBlaz=] to send a [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe patrole]] to the [[strike:[=ShadowClan=] border]] Sadowclan boulder to tell [=BlackStar=] that she is leader now, which he already knows.

As everyone continues to pester her about the serimy, she heads to her den because she wants to have a [[YouKeepUsingThatWord niche]] to herself.

But when she gets to her den, she learns that [=FireHert=] is going to [[strike:leave]] leaf to be a rogue or join [[strike:[=SkyClan=]]] [=skyCaln=] for a while because he can't be ledder. Then he luf.

[=StarGamet=] is sad at first, but gets over it almost immediately. [=HawkFrot=] then immediately shows up completely out of nowhere ([[LampshadeHanging even the fic describes it like this]]), and confesses his love for [=StarStar=], at which point she wraps her tail around his face, which is apparently a gesture of affection.

The next morning, [=StarKit=] wakes up to someone yowling. She rushes outside to see….. TIGEERSTAR! He tells her that he's "[[GratuitousGerman gott]]" to kill her, and [=HollyLefa=] agrees from his [[strike: side]] [[JuliusCaesar ides]]. Gleam Star tells everyone to get out of the [[strike: camp]] cramp, but [[strike: Birchfall]] [=BarkFall=], apparently speaking for the whole Clan, tells her that they elov her so much that they couldn't leafe her.

NAD THE CATS FOUT!

[=HolyKeaf=] turns into a [[strike: fox]] [[FreudianSlip fux]]. [=GlameStar=] is surprised, and doesn't get out of the way in time. But just before it's too [[strike: late]] latte, [[DeusExMachina LinoBlaze]] [[strike: appears]] [[DeusExMachina apparets in front of her]]. He [[TakingTheBullet takes the hit for her]], and the narrative spontaneously devolves into PurpleProse (or what passes for it in this fic) and switches to [=HawkForts=]'s point of view to describe the tears falling down [=GleamStart=]'s [[strike: cheeks]] checks.

[=LionBealze=], [[FridgeLogic who is apparently no longer invulnerable in battle]], tells her that it's oyak, because doeing for her makes him gay whit hapyness. This prompts the response: "LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" [=StG;eamStar=] begins to wonder if her Clan is going [[strike: queer]] quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!

[=GleamStar=] then begins angry because [=HollyFale=] killed her [[strike: father's brother]] brother's father and leaps at her, but [=HolltLeaf=] tells her that it's too late and to look behind her. When she does, she sees [=TiggClaw=] scratching [=DawnSpaekle=]. [=StarGleam=] [[CurbStompBattle runs up to him and claws him, and he runs away]]. She then turns to [[GratuitousJapanese Hacky-kin]] and tells him that he should leave because it's too [[strike:dangerous]] danheros, but he responds with "[[GratuitousJapanese iie]]" because he lobes her and wan't live her.

But the invaders (possibly just [=TiggerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=]) are already leaving. Tiggerstar [[MoodWhiplash laughs sadly]] and says that she may have defted them this time, but nest time they'll be STORNGER. They then leave, and thuneer clan is saf!

Gleamstar then makes [=JazzPaw=] a warrior so she can be her depudy (as apparently cats don't need apprentices to become deputy in this universe) and names her [=JazzSong=]. She's a bit mean about it, but nobody really minds this because they realize that she's still sad over linblaze, and besides, most of them find it kawaii when her eyes [[PerfectlyCromulentWord robble]] when she's angry.

[=StarG;eam=] and [=hawkFrost=] sleep together, but [[AuthorFilibuster NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?]]

The next morning, after awaking and sending a parolel to the Windyclan broader, [=StarGleam=] returns to [=HawkGorest=] and [[strike: wakes]] [[FreudianSlip coks]] him up because she has to tell him sumthn. She then suggests that they get [[strike: married]] [[CanonDefilement marred]], to which he agrees very quickly.

They call a Clan meeting, and the cats gather quickly, even though [[strike: Millie]] Milloe is upset because [[spoiler:[[strike: Briarpaw]] [=BriadPaw=] has been hurt]]. [=StarPaw=] announces that she and [=HawkFrost=] are getting mriaged, and everyone starts [[strike: clapping]] [[FreudianSlip crapping]]. [[FridgeLogic Despite being cats.]] [[MindScrew Somehow.]]

Then [[strike: Bumblepaw]] [=BubPaw=] speaks up, and [=StarGStar=] nearly doesn't listen to him because the author thinks [[UnfortunateName his name is stupid]], but in the end decides to [[strike: humor?]] hurm him. He suggests that they announce the marriage at the next Gathern, which is, once again, conveniently the very same night even though only a few says have passed at the most.

The Thhner caln cats leave for the Gatherin, but when the get there, they discover that [[strike: Blackstar?]] [=BullStar=] is dead, and in his [[strike: place]] palsh is [[strike: Firestar]] FLAMESTAR!

Apparently, [=BlakStar=] was so depressed about how he couldn't be [=GleamStar's=] [[strike:mate]] meat that he [[strike:commited suicide]] mocitted swisscide, so [=ShaderClan=] made [=FierStart=] their leader.

Instead of commenting on [[CanonDefilement stupid this entire situation is]], all [=StarGleam=] can say is "OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN", to which [=FireStar=] responds with "[[DullSurprise i know rite.]]"

[=GleamStar=] runs up to the [=HighOka=], everyone noticing that she looks even more [[strike:radiant]] readient than usual, so that she can [[strike:announce]] nounce her marriage to Hawkfrost-[[JapaneseHonorifics kun]].

When she is making the announcement, all of the clans refer to her as "ledder", meaning that she has [[CanonDefilement somehow become leader of all four Clans]].

All of the Clans are overjoyed to hear this news for some reason, but as the marrige is about to begin, a [[strike:noise]] nose from [[strike:above]] abobe calls out "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE"

The [[strike:voice]] vice is coming from THE DAK FOREST. Suddenly, there are [[strike:clouds]] clods, and it starts raining, and after all that random build-up, a bolt of lighting strikes [=StarFleam=], and she feels herself DID.

She wakes up in the dark frost, and sees someone that she thinks is [=BackStar=] but turns out to be [[strike:Ashfur]] [=ASSFyR=]! Ashfir tells her that she is beautiful, like [[strike:Squirrelflight]] [=SquireFlit=], and asks her to be his met, to which Gleam responds "[[BigNo NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]]"

And then... was [[strike:Brokenstar]] [=BROCKENSTAR=]?

[=StarGleam=] [[AntiClimax simply runs away]] and ends up in Starcaln with [=YellowFangn=], [=SpottedLeaf=] and [=BakSrae=]. [=LefPool=] and [=BrambleClan=] are there, too, despite not being dead.

The [=StarCan=] cats decide to [[strike:reincarnate]] reincart her, a situation that she equates to [[spoiler:[[strike:Cinderheart]] [=CinderPaw=]]], even though [=JayFeathern=] and [=LefPool=] are the only living cats that know anything about that.

To make things even more confusing, [[spoiler:[[strike:Cinderpelt]] [=CinderPelt=]]] shows up, apparently not having been reincarnated at all, despite the fact that she still claims she was.

Despite having already done the same thing, [=StarCaln=] needs to figure out how to reincarnate [=GlemStar=], so they tell her "go do somethinm elese"

She somehow sees Hawk Frost mourning over her dead body and tries to talk to him. He can apparently hear her but can't see her, causing him to [[EpicFail bump into a tree and fall over]].

[=GleamGleam=] leaves and then bumps into [[strike:Fallen Leaves]] [[HowDoIUsedTense Falled]] leaf, who she shouldn't even know exists. He has come to deliver a prophecy, even though it's more a simple statement of fact than a prophecy. He says that there are some cats who still don't believe in Starcaln, which is something ''he'' shouldn't even know exists. Him saying this causes someone of something to say "WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY"

He tells her that [[strike:Cloudtail]] [=ClodTail=] and [[strike:Mothwing]] [=MotWig=] are [[RonTheDeathEater being used by the Dork Forest]], presumably just because [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous they're]] [[AuthorFilibuster atheists]]. Falled Leave tells her to "Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##!"

But before se has [[strike:time to think]] tim to thick, it is time for her be [[GratuitousFrench rien]]carted. To come back to life, she has to step through a [[strike:portal]] purtel, but before she could jump in, [[strike:Ashfur]] [=HawkAShfur=] [[FreudianSlip pussed]] against her, causing her to go through the portal.

But it turns out that [[FreudianSlip ASHFUR Had cum]] BACK [=ThRU TO1=]!11!1

She then wakes up in the forest as newborn [=StarKit=], meaning technically she should be in the nursery. Apparently, since she's a kit, she can't talk and can only say "Mew".

But she is suddenly able to say "t!" when she realises that her mother is [=HolyLeaf=].

Apparently she's now in the nursery of [=Donderclan=] camp like she should, and [=TigerSar=] comes in as he is apparently her father.

When and why [=TiggerStar=] and [=HolyLeaf=] mated, as well as why [=ThunderClan=] accepted them is a total mystery.

Apparently having full motor functions and the ability to talk ([[PlotHole despite the fact that a few paragraphs earlier she couldn't]]), she heads out into the clearing and sees the clan sitting vigil for [=StarStar=], but also notices [=RedPaw=] and [=lakePool=] sitting with their tails twined, prompting her [[strike:first words]] firt sors: [[AuthorFilibuster "I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein]] [[strike:lesbians]] [[JuliusCaesar plebian?"]].

After [=LakePawl=] and [=FlamePaw=] say she's just a kit, they direct her over the nursery (which is where she came from) to go see [[strike:Stormfur]] [=StormFur=] and [[strike:Brook]] Book's new kit, [=AshKit=], ie. [=AssFyr=]'s reincarnation.

But before she can talk to him... "HAHA LAQWL" yelld a locked up.

It seems a battle between Starcaln and the Dark Forest is happening in some non-specified location above the camp, as pointed out by the [[BackFromTheDead no longer dead]] [=LinoBlaze=].

[=StarKit=] notices that [=HolyLeaf=] and [=TigerStar=] are on the Dark Forest's side, and realises that her parents are EVUL!

Apparently the Starlan warriors are attacking the camp, led by Firestar. [=StarKit=], reactivating GodModeSue mode, starts beating up warriors even though she is just a kit. [=StarKit=] is confused about how she knows how to fight, proclaiming it a [[strike:mystery]] mistery.

She suddenly gets attacked by some big cat, causing red stuff to [[FreudianSlip cum]] out of her [[RougeAnglesOfSatin era]]. Anger [[strike:burns]] borns in her chest, and she bits out his [[strike:[[SlashedThroat throat]]]] thought. He [[FreudianSlip cocks]] and then dies.

[[ThouShaltNotKill No one seems to care that she just killed a cat]].

She notices that the Starclan warriors are now running into the camp, including [[strike:Crowfeather]] [=CorFeather=], who isn't even dead, and his brother [[strike:Eaglekit]] [=EggleWing=], who disappeared from the series before he even got a warrior name.

As the cats fight, she notices [[strike:Tigerstar]] [[strike:[=TiggerStar=]]] [=GiterStar=] who jumps at [=BlueStar=], [[CurbStompBattle causing her to kill him instantly]].

[=HolyLeaf=] is distressed by this to the point where [=GleamStar=] can see the sad in her eyes, and she runs away from the carp.

Without any explanation of [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment what the hell any of that was about]], some nameless cat notices that [=StarKit=] is hurt, so everyone treats her first before tending to any of the other cats because [[MarySue she's so special]].

Another nameless cat remarks [[DullSurprise "Oh no StarKits parents are gon. Someoen nedes 2 be her parents."]], at which point [=RedPaw=] and [=LakePooooool=] volunteer.

[=StarKit=] lets out a BigNo, since for someone as homophobic as she is, being adopted by lesbians is AFateWorseThanDeath. She continues freaking out about how horrible it is to be exposed to [[strike:lesbians]] LESBITS, and how wrong it is, marking the point where (YourMileageMayVary) her homophobia crosses into DudeNotFunny territory.

She yells at her adopted parents about how BENG GAY is against the [[strike:Ten Commandments]] [=BibTen=] Comandamnt. Her new parents say that she wasn't alive then, so she shouldn't know about the Commandments, and finish off by saying that they were fake. Apparantly, the massive BlackHoleSue that was [=GlameStar=] was the only thing that made anybody care about any of that stuff at all.

Letting out another BigNo, she runs into the forest to avoid being exposed to lesbians, and [=AssKit=] follows her. He asks her what's wrong, and when she tells him, he seems to be just as homophobic, and [[AuthorFilibuster they agree to make them see the light]].

She then sees [=JazzPaw=], who informs her that she is now [=JazzStar=] after [=StarGleam=]'s death. [=StarKit=], or rather [=StarGleam=] due to RougeAnglesOfSatin, [[AskAStupidQuestion then asks who StarGlaem is]].

But the subject is immediately dropped, and the head back to camp, [=StarKit=] [[BrattyHalfPint still not willing to accept her parents]].

The story than skips ahead to six moons later, to [=StarKit=]'s apprentice ceremony. [=JazzSong=] names her [=StarPaw=], but then adds "Your mwneot will be", which for some reason causes [=StarPaw=] to let out ''another'' BigNo.

Then, apparently [=HawkFrots=] was assigned to be her mentor. They have a short conversation, then [=AsgkKit=] asks her to go into the forest with her. She does, and eventually he asks her to be his mate. She says yes, when [=HaekFrost=] barges in and says that he wants to be her [[strike:mate]] matt. [=AshPaw=] and [=HaekFrost=] [[RelationshipSue start fighting over Stargleam]], and a lost of blod was spilled. The fight somehow ends in [[FoeYay them kissing]], and [=GleamStarKit=] yells "NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?" and runs away wailing because THEY WERE BENG GAY!

When she gets back to camp, [=RedFur=] is waiting for her, but she tries to avoid her since she can't be seen with a lesbian. [=RedPaw=] objects to this and reminds the ungrateful little homophobe [[MarySue Sue]] that her and [=LakePaool=] have been rassing her for mons.

[=StarGKit=] simply responds by saying that she saw [=HawkForest=] and [=AshFuru=] kissing, something that [=LakwPool=] sees no problem with, saying there is no problem being gay.

But of course, Starpaw still insists that it's wrong and runs out into the forest just to find [=HawkFort=] and [=AshTki=] [[strike:making out]] macking our again.

She tells them [[ThisIsSPARTA "YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!"]], and says that they aren't [[strike:accepted]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin excepted]] in ''[[BlackHoleSue her]]'' Caln and tells them to leave. [=HawkForst=] then rightfully points out that it's not her Clan ([[BlackHoleSue although it might as well be]]), but she simply comes back with [[YoMomma "YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!"]]

The two cats somehow accept this as a reason and leave to become rogues, leaving [[strike:[=StarKit=]]] ''the narrative'' to let out a BigNo as she realised she banished her [[strike:Mentor]] Mento [[strike:(The freshmaker)]].

She eventually bumps into [[strike:God knows who]] [=FlamaPelt=], who she descides to talk to because she is a good [[strike:straight]] steret cat, what with her totally male mate [[strike:someone else who doesn't appear to resemble any character]] [=NightRain=].

Of course, it turns out that [=FlamePetle=] is actually [[strike:bi]] [[BiTheWay by]], shocking both [=STarKit=] and [=NightStorm=]. [=FlamePelt=] announces that she is going to join the newly-formed [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Satin]]clan, because [[DepravedBisexual the fact that she's bisexual instantly makes her evil]].

[[strike:Nightrain]] [=RAINspolash=] than runs away after his mate disappears, leaving [=StawPaw=] to {{Wangst}} about how gay her family is.

But suddenly, looking at the tree that [=HawkGrost=] bumped into a few chapters ago causes all of her memories from her previous life to come back to her.
[[/folder]]

It is actually WorseThanItSounds.


Unfortunately, on August 11, 2010, the stnists at [[FanFictionDotNet Fanfiction.net]] removed the story because they had lost their faith in Ljess. The author's response to this news is as follows:

"''NOTE: THOSER * AT FOANFICTION.NET FELTED MY STOYRE!!!!!!1!!!1!!1@!1!!!!@! >>>>>>>>>>:( I DOSNT KNOW WHTA TO DO YET BUT MABEY ILL HAVE IT UP AGIAN [=OSMETIME1!!11!!!!1!!!=] THEY DONT BLEIVE IN JESSU I CNA JUTS TELLL!!!!!!!!!! IM SORRY TO THE GOOD PPL WHO BELIVE IN JESS WHO LICKED MY STORY.''"

------------------
!!''[=StarKits Prophcy=]'' provides examples of:
* AcceptableTargets: Homosezzuals, [[ValuesDissonance apparently]].
* AccidentalInnuendo: After it is remarked that it is [=StraGleam's=] second time out hunting, we get this gem: "she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and [=FireStar=] had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_." {{Squick}}.
** "Wll u be my mat" [[=GayStrip=]] [=ESked=].
* {{Anvilicious}}: Everything having to do with religion and homosexuality.
* AskAStupidQuestion: Chapter ten, where "Falmepaw" needs to know how to get back to her own camp.
** After experiencing her own death, Stargleam needs to ask how she died. And then almost immediately afterwards has to ask if she is dead again.
** '"who is [=StarGlaem=]" asked [=StarGleam=]'
* AssPull: ''Everything.''
* AuthorFilibuster: Screw the plot, using two whole chapters to teach the Clans about how important it is to find [[strike:God]] [=StarClan=] is ''much'' more important.
** The author also goes out of her way to remind us that [=G;eamStar=] and [=hawkFrost=] don't have sex before getting married.
** It's straying more and more into AuthorTract recently, as it now seems to be more about how "wrong" it is to be gay than any consistant plot element.
* BackFromTheDead: [=TiggerStraw=]. [=JayFeathern=]. Stargalme. [=LakePaool=]. [=RedPaw=]. [=LinoBlaze=].
** Of course, Stargalme is the only one out of them that is actually brought back to life. The others just show up again after dying for no particular reason.
*** [=GlameStra=] gets brought back to life a second time as well, alongside [=AshFir=].
** Although [[strike:Tigerstar]] [=TIGEERSTAR=] and [[strike:Hawkfrost]] Hawkyfrost are both dead in canon, they both seem to be alive for the purposes of this fic.
* [[BeginnersLuck Beginner's Luck]]: Chapter three, in which Firestar praises Starpaw with words of wisdom: [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter"]]
* BeigeProse: Especially early in the story.... "The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright."
* BiTheWay: [=FlamaPelt=] casually announces that she is "by", and that it doesn't matter. [=STarKit=] and [=NightStorm=] are shocked and try to tell her how "bed" it is, but she just ignores them and goes to join [[RougeAnglesOfSatin satinclan]]
** DepravedBisexual: It's treated as though she's this, however.
* BigLippedAlligatorMoment: You could make YourHeadAsplode [[MindScrew trying to figure]] out the significance of the newt in Chatter !1.
** ...[[EpicFail Or how a newt can stop "Jew" from being poisonous]].
** ...Or what's happening in the newest chapters.
* BigNo: [=StarGleam=] does a few of these in chapter 12, and [=FamePaw=] has an even bigger one in chapter 13.
** In chapter 18, [=GleamStar=] has a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Big Moo]].
** '"NOOP" said [=GleamStar=]'
** '[="NO9999999999999=] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam.'
** '"[=StarPaw=] noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" [[GratuitousFrench je yowle.]]'
** They keep getting more and more frequent; there's an average of ''one per chapter''.
*** Or ''more''. In the second Chapter 27, there's two plus a big "~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111".
* BigWordShout: There's one on nearly every page.
* BigYes: "YESSSASSSSS"
* BileFascination: It's as horribly mesmerizing as a natural disaster. A really amazingly badly-spelled natural disaster.
* CargoShip: [=JayFather=] mentions being in love with a stick, meaning the author has decided to make [=JayxStick=] canon. This is probably the only CanonDefilement that most fans won't object to, since [[CrackPairing a lot of them already ship him and the stick anyway]].
* CanadaEh: 'Dnt lie '''aboot''' yiour nieborgh.'
* CaptainObvious: "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." [=StarPaw=] gasped. "What does it mean?"
* CharacterDerailment / CanonDefilement:
** Jayfeather is now lacking the "jerk" part of JerkWithAHeartOfGold, and seems to have mated with some random [=ShadowClan=] cat, despite him being disgusted with forbidden relationships.
*** Not to mention the fact that not a single cat in the Clan objects to his Warrior Code-shattering relationship, either.
** Sandstorm is perfectly fine with Stargleam stealing Firestar from her, and doesn't protest at all.
** [[strike:Firestar]] [=FireScar=], [[strike:Graystripe]] [=GraStri;e=] and [[strike:Blackstar]] [=BalkStar=] are all suddenly prone to neglecting their existing mates and [[{{Squick}} falling in love with apprentices instead]].
*** Part of Blackstar's reasoning for falling in love with Stargleam is that she beat him in battle, something the real Blackstar would be far too proud to admit.
** Graystripe now hates Firestar, calls him an idiot, and says he's a mean cat.
** Hawkfrost betrays Tigerstar simply because Stargleam is [[GratuitousJapanese kawaii]].
** Daisy, now [=FoxDaisypaw=], has decided to become a warrior. She is also being trained by Cloudtail, practically setting her up for truckloads of DieForOurShip.
** The fic takes place after ''[[strike:Sunrise]]'' ''Sunset'', meaning it would be set in the lake territories, but the mention of the [[strike:Great Rock]] [[strike:Highrock]] [=HighRoke=] and [[strike:Moonstone]] [=MonStone=] suggest that it is set in the Old Forest.
** Everyone apparently seems to be very happy that Thunderclan is being ruled by a [[strike:warrior]] apprentice six moons and three days old.
* CluelessAesop: The author's attempts to teach us that [[MemeticMutation BENG GAY!f]] is wrong. [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever And the evangelism.]]
* CompletelyMissingThePoint: 'Also im not a [[{{Troll}} torll]]!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!'
* ConflictBall: Three toms decide they want [=SatrPaw=] for themselves, leaving [=StarOaw=] upset and indecisive about which one to [ick.
** Now with the added conflict that she seems to be in love with [[DracoInLeatherPants [=Hawkfrost=]]] and she doesn't want to be (even though she seems perfectly fine with other cats WHO ALREADY HAVE MATES liking her...)
*** But this gets resolved when she just becomes [=HawekForest=]'s mate anyway, without any complaints at all.
** Now [=AshFurt=] is after her, too.
* CrackPairing: [=HolyLeafxTiggerStar=]
* CrowningMomentOfAwesome: Every damn paragraph.
* CrowningMomentOfFunny: '"Fuhrstar! yellded a [=TiggerStraw=]. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW!' With extra irony, since Tigerstar is canonically ANaziByAnyOtherName.
** 'She battlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats.'
** '"But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.'
** 'but he was to fat.'
** The [=HoBare=]. The freaking ''[=HoBare=]''.
*** To elaborate: "Everyone jumped at the [=HoBare=]!"
** [[BigNo MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!11]]
** '"Wit a rar like an volcano [[FreudianSlip erection]] she jumped at [=StarGlaem=]!"
** 'The told me that [=BlakStar=] was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide."'
*** '"i know rite." said [=FierStart=] "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat."'
** '"who is [=StarGlaem=]" asked [=StarGleam=]'
** "LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2"
** '[=HolyKeaf=] turned into… a…. FUX!'
* CurbStompBattle: Every single "fight" consists of one character running towards another character, and the other character dying.
* DearNegativeReader: Nearly every chapter.
* DiabolusExMachina: [=TigerStraw=] and [=HolyLeaf=] suddenly show up at the end of [=GlaemStar=]'s leadership ceremony and start causing trouble, until...
** DeusExMachina: A supposedly {{Heel Face Turn}}ed [[DracoInLeatherPants HawkForest]] comes out of nowhere and stops them instantly.
* DesignatedHero: [=StarGleam=].
* DidNotDoTheResearch: As the author says, "i havent actually red Fading Eches yet".
* [=~Don't Like, Don't Read~=]: "OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know."
* DracoInLeatherPants: [=HackFrost=] was chosen to undergo a HeelFaceTurn so that he could [[RelationshipSue fall in love with StraGlema]], presumably just because of his status as a MemeticSexGod and prime example of EvilIsSexy.
** Oddly enough, [=AssFir=] falls for [=GlemStar's=] charms too, but doesn't undergo this treatment, despite him being an incredibly popular DracoInLeatherPants among the rest of the fanbase.
* DramaticReading
* DrivenToSuicide: [=BlakStar=] mocits swisscide because he was so sad [=StarGleam=] woudnet be his meat.
* DullSurprise: After informing [=StarGleam=] of [[spoiler:[=BlakStar's=] swisscide]] and observing her shocked reaction, all [=FireStar=] can say in response is...
-->'''[=FierStart=]:''' i know rite.
* [[EverythingsBetterWithCows Everything's Better With Cows]]: MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!11
* [[EverythingsBetterWithSparkles Everything's Better With Sparkles]]: [=GleamStart=]'s [[strike: cheeks]] checks are very sparkly.
* [[EverythingsWorseWithBears Everything's Worse with HoBares]]
* FanDisservice: The author tries to make all of the same-sex kisses into this. It doesn't work.
* FlatWhat: '"Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." "what" said [=StarGleam=]'
* FoeYay: In the middle of a fight, [=HawekForst=] and [=AshGKit=] suddenly start [[strike:making out]] macking our.
* FreudianSlip: ''Several''. Highlights include '[=GayStrip=] locked at hr meanly.', '"without them we wold be lust."', '"NO!" shitted [=SarPaw=] Again runnin into the forst.', '"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly.', and 'Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at [=StarGlaem=]!'
** 'She saw [=FireStar=] cumin ... '
** '"With this life I give you corrage" said [=Yellowfag=]...'
** '"Ive got to do [=BlackSrar=] its my detsiny."'
** '[=StarGleam=] mead [=LoinBalze=] her depudy...'
** '[=HolyKeaf=] turned into... a... FUX!'
** '[=JazzPaw=] cum hear.'
** 'Everone startwf crapping!'
** 'Then the cat torned arund. It was… [=ASSFyR!=]'
** '[=HawkAShfur=] pussed aginst her!'
** '[=ASHFUR=] Had cum BACK [=ThRU TO1!11!1=]'
** 'He clawed her er there was red stuff cumming out of her era.'
** 'He cocked then died.'
* {{Gayngst}}: [=StarGleam=] has a moment of Teh Gay when she thinks [=RedPaw=] is beautiful. She does, however, quickly re-convince herself that she is [[DidNotDoTheResearch "street."]]
** And now [[LesYay RedPaw and LakePool]] feel sad because they aren't allowed to be in love... d'awww
** Also becomes in inversion, since all of the gay and lesbian couples are perfectly happy; it's [=StraPaw=] that constantly {{Wangst}}s at the fact that they're gay.
* GiftedlyBad: The author, xdark.rosesx. It's a wonder she managed to spell her username correctly.
** Even that's questionable, as on the official ''WarriorCats'' forum, where she has made one or two posts, her handle is "xdarkrosesx"; perhaps the period was a mistake.
* GirlOnGirlIsHot: Inverted as much as physically possible to [[AuthorTract justify the author's homophobia]].
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: "Shapshitter" [=HolyLeaf=].
* GoshDangItToHeck: In the author's note at the end of chapter 17, the author berates all bad reviewers for not believing in "[[EpicFail Gosh]]".
* GratuitousFrench: Constant RougeAnglesOfSatin leads to Bluestar occasionally being referred to as '''Bleu'''Star.
** '"[=StarPaw=] noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" '''je yowle'''.' [[strike:[[GrammarNazi Or rather, "Je yowlai", assuming "Yowler" is even a verb in the first place.]]]]
** '"You're never get '''moi''' to '''ete''' it!"'
* GratuitousGerman: Chapter Nein. And the nein lives. And Tigerstar's "gott" to kill [=GleamStar=].
* GratuitousJapanese: Both [=FirePaw=] and [=HawekFrost=] think [=StarPaw=] is "kawaii". Of course, since the characters [[TranslationConvention aren't actually speaking English in the first place]], and all the other languages seen are those of other animals which are simply rendered as barking/growling/whatever noise said animal makes, [[FridgeLogic one could assume this is roughly the equivalent of a cat mooing]].
** [=StraGlaem=] actually does moo once thanks to a combination of BigNo and RougeAnglesOfSatin.
** [=StraGlaem=] seems to get referred to as "Kawaii" more and more as the fic goes on.
** [=HawkForest=] once elects to use "iie" rather than "no."
** Hawkfrost is occasionally referred to as [[strike:[[JapaneseHonorifics "Hawky-kun"]]]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Hacky-kin"]] or [[JapaneseHonorifics "Hawkfrost-kun"]]
* HeelFaceTurn: [[DracoInLeatherPants HackForest]] has been [[RelationshipSue turned good by]] [=StraGlaem=]'s [[GratuitousJapanese Kawaii]]-ness.
* HideYourGays: The [[strike:Ten Commandments]] Ten Commdaments very clearly state "No BENG GAY!f"
* IdiotPlot
* IncestIsRelative: [=FirSatr=] is [=StraGlaem=]'s ''great grandfather''. {{Squick}}.
* InvincibleHero: [=StarGleamStar=], [[MarySue naturally.]]
* [=~Let's See YOU Do Better~=]: "i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1"
* MarySue: [[strike:Stargleam]] [=StarGlema=]... just, [=SarkGleam=]...
** BlackHoleSue: The entire fic is pretty much about how she is the most important cat in the forest. At one point, cats from the other Clans even refer to her as their leader.
** PuritySue: [[strike:Jesus]] [=GlemStar=], of course, who gave the caln the Ten Comondants and helped them find Ljess in order to protect them from becoming sinners.
** RelationshipSue: [=StarGlmae=] has [[strike:Firestar]] [=FirStra=], [[strike:Graystripe]] [=GayStrip=], [[strike:Blackstar]] [=balckStar=], [[strike:Hawkfrost]] [=HawekFrost=], and [[strike:Ashfur]] [=AshFurt=] padding after her for no particular reason.
** SympatheticSue: We're supposed to feel sorry for her because of the above situation.
** GodModeSue: She [[CurbStompBattle oneshots]] [[strike:Tigerstar]] Tigerstra. Freaking [[strike:[=TigerStra=]]] TIGGERSTAR!
*** "[[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill [=StarPaw=] beat [=FireStar=] 8/10 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired."]] Good lord.
** JerkAssSue: Later chapters consist almost entirely of her running around [[AuthorTract yelling at gay couples about how wrong it is to be gay]].
* MemeticMutation: It's becoming very popular on [[WarriorsWish a certain fansite]] to quote and/or reference the fic.
* MisaimedFandom: The author believes that [=StarClan=] can solve all problems and that nothing will go wrong if the Clans follow their path. She doesn't realise that, although [=StarClan=] is worshipped like god, their power is actually limited, they choose to play TheWatcher instead of God, and are, if anything, used to ''criticise'' fanatical religious bigots like her.
* {{Narm}}: '''All of it.'''
** There's even a ''literal'' Narm in one chapter. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme."
* OnceUponATime: Jayfeathern's epic in Chapter six.
** "Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that i licked." {{Squick}}.
* OverlyLongName: [=FoxDaisyPaw=]
* PerfectlyCromulentWord: 'she was so '''foncusded'''!'
** '...[=StarG;eam=] was kawai when she was mad her eyes '''robbled'''.'
* PlotTumor: What little plot there ever was has been swallowed by the author's need to tell us that homosezzuality is bad.
** RomanticPlotTumor: For a few chapters early on, the main focus of the "story" was on the LoveDodecahedron between [=StarGleam=] and... everyone else.
* PurpleProse: ''Scarringly.'' "'noooooo' said [=GleamStart=]. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly thohth [=HawkForts=]."
* [[strike:[[RapeAsComedy Rape]]]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Mole Straep]] [[RapeAsComedy As Comedy]]: [=BlackkStar=] on [=sTarpaw=] in chapter five, but YourMileageMayVary.
** RapeAsDrama: It's treated as this, [[{{Narm}} but...]]
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Everywhere, all the time.
** Notable examples are how "Hollylea" is now a "SHAPSHITTER" who can turn into a "bare", and when "[=TiggerStraw=]" tries to kill "[=FuhrStar=]" with [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "SOME JEW!"]]
** There is even one instance of "satan" becoming "satin".
*** Don't forget, people who flame the story are "stnits" who don't believe in [[CrystalDragonJesus "ljess".]]
**** [[http://i687.photobucket.com/albums/vv237/Flametail_von_Karma/ljess.jpg Ljess?]]
*** As far as misspellings related to the author's religious fanaticism go, on her profile she says she hates Cloudtail and Mothwing because they're "[[HollywoodAtheist athletes]]".
** ''Bizarrely'' averted with the word "rogue" itself, which is actually spelled right. Of course, considering the nature of the fic, this could, in the author's mind, ''[[MindScrew actually be a spelling error]]''.
*** [[MindScrew In fact, it's the only word that she can consistantly spell correctly.]]
** In Chapter Sixteen, the Moonpool mysteriously changes to the '[=MoonSnot=]'.
** Chapter 27 the Mameries has a literal example, Satinclan.
*** Hell, the [[ThanksForTheMammary chapter's title itself]] is an example of this Trope...
** In one of the most [[MindScrew WTF-inducing]] instances of this, [=NightRain=] changes from [=NightStorm=] to [=RAINspolash=].
* RedundancyDepartmentOfRedundancy: '"Gasped" gasped everyone.'
** And '"Today is important today."'
** 'Then they were in the [[strike:Dark]] Fark Forest. It was dark. Here was no [[strike:moon]] mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see.'
** 'Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani' (Translation: Her rainbow eyes glowed like a rainbow)
** 'it hert [=StarFleam=]! It hurt.'
** '[=StarPaw=] wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y.'
** "She turned in…. A BARE!" One sentence later: "It was a bare!"
* RootingForTheEmpire: Basically everyone reading the fic agrees that [[SchoolgirlLesbians Redoaw and Lakepaool]] are the ''real'' heroes of the story.
** It's not that [=RedOaw=] and [=LakePoal=] are the heroes so much as their persecution by [[JerkAssSue StraGlema]] being the thing that makes her so unlikable.
* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud: '"Gasped" gasped everyone.'
** '"gigle" he said'
* SayMyName: "FLAMEAPWWW!" "Fuhrstar!" [="LIonHEAR!"=] And so on.
* SchoolGirlLesbians: [=RedPaw=] and [=lakePolw=]. But it doesn't last long thanks to both homophobia and bad writing.
** Later, [=LakePaw=] and [=RedPaw=] even look sad, becas [=GleamStarg=] has sad they cant be in luv. [[spoiler:Thankfully, they get back together later]].
*** They even end up adopting [[spoiler:the reincarnated StarGlaem]], but she, of course, drops a BigNo.
* SexIsViolence: One can only assume that [=HawkForest=] and [=AssFur=]'s makeout session was a result of this.
* ShallowLoveInterest: All of [=GleamStar's=] love interests.
* ShillingTheWesley: Everyone ''adores'' [=StarGleam=].
* [=~So Bad It's Good~=] or [=~So Bad It's Horrible~=], [[YourMileageMayVary depending on your point of view.]]
* StealthParody: We can only hope it's a parody of bad fanfiction...
* StrawmanHasAPoint: The characters opposing [=GleamStar=] generally have more valid points than she does.
* TechnicolorEyes: Starkit's ''rainbow'' eyes.
** The [[strike:alleg]] alliances say her eyes are [[strike:molten?]] molting orange but they are described as rainbow in chapter 6.
*** They turn [[strike:molting]] malting orange again in Chaper Sixteen.
*** And then back to reinbow in Chater Eitheen.
* TheChosenOne: Among many other things, [=StraGlame=] was chosen to hand out the "Ten Commondents".
* ThisIsSPARTA: "YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!"
* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw Hopefully.]]
* UnfortunateNames: [=ToadRibbit=], [=BumbleFlower=], and [=FoxDaisyPaw=].
* WallBanger: Every single bit of this fic. Every. Single. Bit.
* {{Wangst}}: [=GlemaGleam=]'s angst over her Clan "bevoming quare."
* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma
* WriterOnBoard
* WritersCannotDoMath: There are eleven Ten Commons.
** And the way they're counted in Chapter Fortene are: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 11.
** Additionally, the chapters are ordered "Chpater oen prouloge" (chapter one prologue), 2, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 19, 20, 21, author's note, un-numbered chapter, 23, 22, 25, 27, 27.
* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: '"I nedd you to take a '''patrole''' tothe Sadowclaw boulder,"
** '"HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE '''THOU'''."'
* YouFailLogicForever: All of it.
* YouFailReligiousStudiesForever: The Clans have never heard of God, nor do they practice any human religions. Yet they still say "Oh my god!" (or rather "OMG!" or "MOGOSH!"), and the Ten Commandments (or rather "Ten Commons") play a role in the story.
** The fact that anybody who doesn't like the fic is instantly a "stnist" who hates "jEssus" may count, too.
** "11. No BENG GAY!f"
* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Starkit's purple fur.
** The "ALLIANCES" actually describe her as 'graysh-blue-and purple'.
* YouKilledMyFather PrepareToDie: After [=HolyLefa=] kills [=JayFather=] [[OneHitKO in one shot by simply staring at him]], [=Stargleam=] pounces at Holly, misses, and takes out [=TiggerStar=] instead. [=StarGLem=] is sad for about two chapters, but then forgets the whole thing entirely when [=JayFather=] [[IGotBetter returns]] with no given explanation .
* YouNeedToGetLaid: [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation One could view StraKit as this]]. Her [[AuthorFilibuster strong moral stance]] against pre-marital sex and her death as she is getting married to [=HawekForest=] means that she hasn't had sex at all, which means that her following this trope could explain her being an uptight bitch who yells at all happy same-sex couples.
-----

-----
[[YouMakeMeSic [sic] ]]

[[redirect:ptitleh1qfbg3l]]

Click the edit button to start this new page.