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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
** The "KOO-pins" joke mentioned lower down actually managed to show up, completely without preparation or explanation, in a different routine he did ''years'' later[[note]]''You Can't Fix Stupid'', by the way[[/note]].
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** The "KOO-pins" "coupins" joke mentioned lower down actually managed to show up, completely without preparation or explanation, in a different routine he did ''years'' later[[note]]''You Can't Fix Stupid'', by the way[[/note]].
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* ExactWords: When informed that he was being arrested for "drunk in public", he responded with "I didn't wanna be drunk in public, I wanted to be drunk in a ''bar''! They ''threw'' me into public, arrest '''them'''!"
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* ExactWords: When informed that he was being arrested for "drunk in public", he responded with "I didn't wanna be drunk in public, I wanted to be drunk in a ''bar''! They ''threw'' me into public, public; arrest '''them'''!"
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* GagPenis: During a cruise to Santorini, Greece, he encounters a man that must have had a fully grown squirrel stuffed into his speedo. He meets him again, this time at a nude beach...
** Apparently the squirrel was eaten by an anaconda.
*** NotSoDifferent: If he were in his position, he would've had a frame around it.
** Apparently the squirrel was eaten by an anaconda.
*** NotSoDifferent: If he were in his position, he would've had a frame around it.
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* GagPenis: During a cruise to Santorini, Greece, he encounters a man that must have had a fully grown squirrel stuffed into his speedo. He meets him again, this time at a nude beach...
** Apparentlybeach. Later on the squirrel was apparently eaten by an anaconda.
*** NotSoDifferent: Ifanaconda. [[NotSoDifferent Although Ron comments that if he were in his this guy's position, he would've had he'd have a frame around it.]]
** Apparently
*** NotSoDifferent: If
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* CoolOldGuy: 61 years old and still smoking, drinking, and cursing like [[Music/{{Motorhead}} Lemmy Kilmister]].
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* CoolOldGuy: 61 64 years old and still smoking, drinking, and cursing like [[Music/{{Motorhead}} Lemmy Kilmister]].
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Changed line(s) 135 (click to see context) from:
* YourCheatingHeart: He had an entire routine about how his miserable state of his first marriage led to him cheating on his wife and how the [[GoodAngelBadAngel guy on his shoulder]] was egging him on (at first).
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* YourCheatingHeart: He had an entire routine about how his the miserable state of his first marriage led to him cheating on his wife and how the [[GoodAngelBadAngel guy on his shoulder]] was egging him on (at first).
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* AwfulWeddedLife: In his earlier work, he'd talk about his miserable first marriage and the frustrations he had with both his wife and his in-laws.
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* YourCheatingHeart: He had an entire routine about how his miserable state of his first marriage led to him cheating on his wife and how the [[GoodAngelBadAngel guy on his shoulder]] was egging him on (at first).
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If it's not intentional, it can't be a reference.
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* GayAesop: "The most useless thing you can be is homophobic"/"We're all gay, it's just to what extent are you gay." (The latter is a possibly unintentional reference to the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale Kinsey sliding scale of human sexuality]] developed by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey.)
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* GayAesop: "The most useless thing you can be is homophobic"/"We're all gay, it's just to what extent are you gay." (The latter is a possibly unintentional reference to the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale Kinsey sliding scale of human sexuality]] developed by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey.)"
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* DistractedByTheSexy: Ron recounts a set he once performed where a bachelorette party in attendance was goofing around with various penis-themed party favors. Both he and the audience tried to stay focused on the show, until the women began taking turns trying to deep-throat an enormous chocolate phallus, and which point Ron notes "''Nobody's watching me '''anymore'''''."
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* {{Corpsing}}: In his special ''If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up'', Ron repeatedly struggles to get out the punchline of a joke without laughing at it. When he finally does, the audience cheers instead of laughs.
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* HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday: ''If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up'' has Ron assert that he's a "gold star hetero" in that he's never taken any dick. However, he counters this by admitting that it's very likely he got oral sex from a transvestite when he was in the Navy, since he only found out years later that the station near Pearl Harbor has a lot of transvestite prostitutes.
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* YouDoNotWantToKnow: ''If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up'' features an argument between him and his wife where Ron got extremely angry over his wife spending thousands of dollars to turn a room of their house into a recording studio. Ron doesn't give many details of the actual argument except how it ended.
-->'''Ron's Wife:''' Listen Ron, I'm not trying to be an asshole.\\
'''Ron:''' Really? You're not even trying?
-->'''Ron's Wife:''' Listen Ron, I'm not trying to be an asshole.\\
'''Ron:''' Really? You're not even trying?
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-->'''Ron:''' I've drunk so much in my life that now, on the back of my driver's license, I have a list of organs I ''need.''
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Changed line(s) 126 (click to see context) from:
* YouSayTomato: One of his bits is making fun of a person pronouncing "coupons" as "KOO-pins".
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* YouSayTomato: One of his bits is making fun of a person pronouncing "coupons" as "KOO-pins"."coupins".
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* KavorkaMan: Despite ''definitely'' not being blessed in terms of looks, Ron has somehow managed to sleep around ''a lot'' in his life.
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** Is also enthusiastic about Texas having the death penalty. One skit refers to a proposed law in the state that would see murderers with at least two credible witnesses to the act fast-tracked to the front of the line instead of sitting on death row for decades.
---> Other states are trying to get rid of the death penalty, my state is putting in an ''express lane''.
---> Other states are trying to get rid of the death penalty, my state is putting in an ''express lane''.
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Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
'''Homophobe''': Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co--! ''[[ThatCameOutWrong *gets a horrified face, stops to think about what he said* ]]''\\
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'''Homophobe''': Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co--! ''[[ThatCameOutWrong *gets a horrified face, stops to think about what he said* ]]''\\]]'' I did not know that about myself.\\
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* TheHedonist: He used to be one: he had a time where he would consume any manner of intoxicant within reach. A stint in rehab helped to mellow him to a point where he still enjoys the sauce and a few substances, but to a level that won't kill him.
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* ManOfWealthAndTaste: He regularly notes that he enjoys the finer things, such as expensive cigars, liquors, and even his private plane, which he jokes that he'll be "flying right into bankruptcy."
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* SharpDressedMan: It's generally a standard that Ron White will appear on stage wearing, at the very least, a nice suit.
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* SouthernFriedGenius: Ron could easily qualify for this himself, albeit in an unorthodox manner. While he acknowledges that he is a high-school dropout from the most rural parts of rural Texas (hailing from a town of 400), he is also very eloquent and well-spoken, and is quite progressive on various social issues such as gay marriage and marijuana. He also enjoys fine arts, such as musicals.
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Deleted line(s) 55 (click to see context) :
* FanNickname: "Tater Salad." Then again, this apparently ''was'' his real nickname in the service. He calls his son "Tater Tot" and "Poot."
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Changed line(s) 7,8 (click to see context) from:
Ronald Dee [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Tater Salad"]] White (born December 18, 1956) is a [[RecordedAndStandUpComedy stand-up comedian]]. He first gained fame in the early 2000s as a member of the Series/BlueCollarComedy Tour, in association with fellow comedians Creator/BillEngvall, Creator/JeffFoxworthy and Creator/LarryTheCableGuy. He is easily the most vulgar of the four, with his albums regularly carrying "explicit content" warnings.
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Ronald Dee [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Tater Salad"]] White (born December 18, 1956) is a [[RecordedAndStandUpComedy stand-up comedian]]. He first gained fame in the early 2000s as a member of the Series/BlueCollarComedy Tour, in association with fellow comedians Creator/BillEngvall, Creator/JeffFoxworthy and Creator/LarryTheCableGuy. He is easily the most vulgar of the four, with his albums regularly carrying "explicit content" warnings.
warnings. He's arguably the least "blue collar" of the four as well, as partially evidenced by love of fine whiskey and tequila, his explicit snarky humour (especially in recent years), and frequent appearances in stand-up events and films without the rest of his tourmates.
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
** His book, "I Had the Right to Remain Silent, But Didn't Have the Ability", chronicles how one incident of him drinking resulted in him not being invited back to stay at the [[Creator/BillEngvall Engvall's]] house.
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** His book, "I Had the Right to Remain Silent, But Didn't Have the Ability", chronicles how one incident of him drinking resulted in him not being invited back to stay at the [[Creator/BillEngvall Engvall's]] Engvalls']] house.
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** His aforementioned book illustrates this with Devil!Ron egging him on while Angel!Ron conspicuously does nothing.
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* FanNickname: "Tater Salad." Then again, this apparently ''was'' his real nickname in the service. He calls his son "Tater Tot" and "Poot."
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Changed line(s) 7,8 (click to see context) from:
Ron [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Tater Salad"]] White is a [[RecordedAndStandUpComedy stand-up comedian]]. He first gained fame in the early 2000s as a member of the Series/BlueCollarComedy Tour, in association with fellow comedians Creator/BillEngvall, Creator/JeffFoxworthy and Creator/LarryTheCableGuy. He is easily the most vulgar of the four, with his albums regularly carrying "explicit content" warnings.
to:
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** Another time, months after holding his tongue when his snooty sister-in-law insulted his career choice at his mother-in-law's birthday party, he was having dinner in a restaurant with his wife, who was already in a foul mood, and when she said there were some things about his family she just couldn't stand, he blurted out loud "like Tourette's and vomit"...
---> YOUR SISTER'S A BIG FAT CUNT!
** And every head in the restaurant just instinctively turned towards him in this trope.
---> YOUR SISTER'S A BIG FAT CUNT!
** And every head in the restaurant just instinctively turned towards him in this trope.
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** [[UpToEleven Ramps up]] to PrecisionFStrike when the women won't shut up, and he turns around and yells at them...
---> If you don't stop flapping your FUCKING COCK HOLSTER...!
** Needless to say, no one's watching the show anymore at that point.
---> If you don't stop flapping your FUCKING COCK HOLSTER...!
** Needless to say, no one's watching the show anymore at that point.
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Changed line(s) 76 (click to see context) from:
---. '''Ron:''' Yeah, even then.
to:
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Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
* OffWithHisHead: Ron's solution to people who purposely shake their babies.
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* OffWithHisHead: Ron's solution to people who purposely shake their babies. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Even those who can't find their car keys and have looked everywhere else.]]
---. '''Ron:''' Yeah, even then.
---. '''Ron:''' Yeah, even then.
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Changed line(s) 5,6 (click to see context) from:
->Actually, we did get caught once, me and my wife were having sex, when the housekeeper walked in on us. Which is a lot better than the reverse.
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->Actually, we did get caught once, me and my wife were having sex, when the housekeeper walked in on us. Which is a lot better than the reverse.
reverse. When that happens, you wind up saying stuff like, "I'll pack my shit... as soon as it quits burning."
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* GoodAngelBadAngel: In a skit where he recalls committing an act of infidelity:
-->You know that little guy that sits on your shoulders that reminds you of your prior commitments and your moral fortitude? I didn't hear a peep out of that guy! He hadn't been laid in three months, either! He was speechless for like 20 minutes, then he went, "Suck her titties!" "I was ''gonna''!" Soon as the whole thing's over, he's back at his post: "That was ''wrong'', mister!" I'm like, "20 minutes ago, you were beatin' off on my shoulder, monkey boy!" I fuckin' hate him, man. He smokes pot. He burned a hole in my other jacket. (''beat'') Right before the show.
-->You know that little guy that sits on your shoulders that reminds you of your prior commitments and your moral fortitude? I didn't hear a peep out of that guy! He hadn't been laid in three months, either! He was speechless for like 20 minutes, then he went, "Suck her titties!" "I was ''gonna''!" Soon as the whole thing's over, he's back at his post: "That was ''wrong'', mister!" I'm like, "20 minutes ago, you were beatin' off on my shoulder, monkey boy!" I fuckin' hate him, man. He smokes pot. He burned a hole in my other jacket. (''beat'') Right before the show.
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* ShoulderAngels: In a skit where he recalls committing an act of infidelity:
-->You know that little guy that sits on your shoulders that reminds you of your prior commitments and your moral fortitude? I didn't hear a peep out of that guy! He hadn't been laid in three months, either! He was speechless for like 20 minutes, then he went, "Suck her titties!" "I was ''gonna''!" Soon as the whole thing's over, he's back at his post: "That was ''wrong'', mister!" I'm like, "20 minutes ago, you were beatin' off on my shoulder, monkey boy!" I fuckin' hate him, man. He smokes pot. He burned a hole in my other jacket. (''beat'') Right before the show.
-->You know that little guy that sits on your shoulders that reminds you of your prior commitments and your moral fortitude? I didn't hear a peep out of that guy! He hadn't been laid in three months, either! He was speechless for like 20 minutes, then he went, "Suck her titties!" "I was ''gonna''!" Soon as the whole thing's over, he's back at his post: "That was ''wrong'', mister!" I'm like, "20 minutes ago, you were beatin' off on my shoulder, monkey boy!" I fuckin' hate him, man. He smokes pot. He burned a hole in my other jacket. (''beat'') Right before the show.
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* TicketLineCampout: Comments on people who camped out for three days to get Music/GarthBrooks tickets.
--> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was...''camping''."
--> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was...''camping''."
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* RealMenEatMeat: He has a low opinion of vegetarianism. Witness this conversation between him and a vegetarian friend:
--> '''Friend:''' I feel nauseous and I have a headache. I think that vegetable soup I had for lunch must've had beef broth in it.\\
'''Ron:''' Your system's kickin' back...''broth''? [[SarcasmMode You're a manly man, aren't you?]]
--> '''Friend:''' I feel nauseous and I have a headache. I think that vegetable soup I had for lunch must've had beef broth in it.\\
'''Ron:''' Your system's kickin' back...''broth''? [[SarcasmMode You're a manly man, aren't you?]]
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-->"They found 7/8 of a gram of marijuana on my plane. Now, when I have 7/8 of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be ''out of pot''."
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--> '''Ron:''' This guy was coming up with all these arguments and I just said, 'Yeah well ''FUCK YOU!!!''' I thought I had ''won''. The other guy was speechless. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.
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--> '''Ron:''' This guy was coming up with all these arguments and I just said, 'Yeah well actually got kicked off the high school debate team for saying, "Yeah? Well ''FUCK YOU!!!''' YOU!''" I thought I had ''won''. The other guy was speechless. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.
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* CoolOldGuy
to:
* CoolOldGuyCoolOldGuy: 61 years old and still smoking, drinking, and cursing like [[Music/{{Motorhead}} Lemmy Kilmister]].
