Markup View

Author: Damr1990

Jan 22nd 2012 at 8:02:59 PM

On One Episode of The Simpsons, Bob Sideshow gets elected as Springfield mayor, bart and lisa discover the election was rigged, and they catch him this way
-->'''Lionel Hutz''': Mr. Mayor, is it true you rigged the election?
-->'''Shideshow Bob ''': No, I did not.
-->'''Hutz''': [pause] Kids, help.
-->       [the judge shrugs]
--> '''Bob''': Oh, I don't mind.  We want these children to feel justice has been served.  That way they can sleep soundly tonight on their hard, feculent motel pillows.
-->'''Bob''': Well Bart, Lisa...here I am.
--> '''Lisa''': I have a plan.  I think we can trap him.
-->they walk up; Lisa takes a sip of water)
-->'''Lisa''' You know, Sideshow Bob, I believe you when you say you're innocent.
--> ''' Bob''': Indeed I am.
--> '''Lisa:''' Because we all know you're a naive pawn -- puppet, if you will -- of the most diabolical political genius Springfield has ever known: Birchibald T. Barlow!
-->  [Barlow stammers incoherently]
--> '''Lisa'''You don't have the intelligence to rig an election by yourself, do you?
--> '''Bart''': You were just Barlow's lackey.
--> '''Lisa''': You were Ronny to his Nancy!
--> '''Bart''': Sonny to his Cher!
--> '''Lisa''': Ringo to his rest of the Beatles!

--> [[BerserkButton Bob can't stand it any longer.]]

--> '''Bob''': Enough!  Lies, lies, lies!  I did it!  I did it all![everyone gasps]There.
--> '''Bart''': We want the truth!
--> '''Bob''': You want the truth?  You can't handle the truth.  No truth-handler, you.  Bah!  I deride your truth-handling abilities.
--> '''Judge''': Will you get to the point?
--> ''' Bob''': Only ''I'' could have executed such a masterpiece of electoral fraud.  And I have the records to prove it!  Here, just look at these -- [pulls out binders and floppy disks] each one a work of  Machiavellian art.
--> '''Judge''': But why?
--> '''Bob''': Because you _need_ me, Springfield.  Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king.  That's why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a     city to run.
--> '''Judge''': Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest.
--> '''Bob''': What?  Oh yes, all that stuff I did.

Maybe as an Abridged page Quote we can use this

--> '''Lisa Simpson''': You don't have the intelligence to rig an election by yourself, do you?
--> '''Bart Simpson''': You were just Barlow's lackey.
-->[...]'''Sideshow Bob''': Enough!  Lies, lies, lies!  I did it!  I did it all![everyone gasps]There.
-->[...]Only ''I'' could have executed such a masterpiece of electoral fraud.  And I have the records to prove it!  Here, just look at these -- [pulls out binders and floppy disks] each one a work of  Machiavellian art.
-->[...]'''Judge''': Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest.
--> '''Bob''': What?  Oh yes, all that stuff I did.
--->'''{{The Simpsons}}''', Sideshow Bob Roberts