Reviews: Watchmen

Good Lord

(This is for Watchmen)

This actually wasn't so bad. Except for the corny Die Hard On The Statue Of Liberty opening. And the Comedian's nonpresence. And the cheesy one-liners. And "Night Owl"'s utter unlikableness. And the lack of Ozymandias awesomeness. And the "Civil Terrorism Unit" (really guys?). And a little plothole involving cigarettes. And Laurie's lack of personality. And Manhattan zapping Ozzy with lightning, turning him into a charred pair of boots like in the cartoons. (There wasn't any slow-mo sex set to "Hallelujah", though, that's a plus).

The biggest thing, though, is the ending. Time traveling, really? I could accept Ozzy messing with timelines but dropping the surviving "Watchmen" into the real world is totally unnecessary, cheesy, and dumb beyond belief. If there was a Crowning Moment Of Narm trope I would pothole it, and it would be the crowning moment for the entire history of film (I might be speaking too soon, I haven't seen Batman And Robin yet. It would take a lot to out-narm this, though). I think the Watchmen should have held hands as they watched the time rupture destroy the universe around them set to "Where Is My Mind?". Yeah, I would have been ok with that.