Reviews: Trick R Treat

The single worst horror film I have ever seen.

I hated this film. It is the worst horror movie I have seen in my entire life. In fact to even place this film in the category of horror is an insult to the genre. Which is not to say that the films attempts at comedy (I use the word loosely) are any better. I have seen some shockingly bad horror films. The very genre has more bad than good, but the chasmic drop in quality between even the pitiful "They" or the very, very weak "Godsend" and Tr T is astounding. It has reached a level of shitness so shitty that if it were any shittier, it would be actual human shit. I'm not kidding. At least "They" and "Godsend" seemed to have had some thought process (Albeit an extremely basic one) behind their conception. Tr T lacks even the intellect of a Cro Magnon man.

The plot is... non-existent. Using a Sin City-esque anthology technique (Do not confuse the uber-macho masterpiece that was Sin City with this abysmal shit however) in the worst possible way, the film crawls at an unbearably dull pace through, what, like 23 different slightly related stories or something? Who cares, you're asleep by then. All the stories are long, unscary, unpleasant but most importantly excruciatingly boring. Remember that scene in Alien where the cat jumps out and gives you a fright, because you thought it was going to be the actual Alien and then you felt ripped off? But it's alright because Alien is actually a darn good movie? Yeah? Well, every fright in Tr T is one of these. Every. Single. Fright. You're thinking "Oh, he's exaggerating for effect." But No. I would love to tell you I am. But I am not. There is not a single genuinely frightening scene in the entire film. In fact, it seems to me that the writers couldn't tell the difference between 'Scary' and 'Unpleasant'. Nothing scary happens, just things that are quite nasty and upsetting. Take, for example, the killing of an innocent child. And the sweet autistic girl being horribly bullied. Not scary. Not funny. Fucking awful.

And even the scenes that aren't just nasty are fucking stupid. The kid with the mask has a pumpkin for a head. I think the writers just read some "Goosebumps" thought: "Werewolves are scary, right? So are living pumpkins, and ghost kids from a schoolbus, right? Lets cram them all in one really boring pile with no explanation or anything. Durrrr, sounds good."

Horrible film.

I've been Missing Out

I wasn't too sure about this movie, but after heaps upon heaps of good reviews and word of mouth I decided to watch it last night in the closing hours of Halloween night. It didn't disappoint.

I was worried about there being gore porn or jerkwad characters or jump scares or any of the cheap crap that today's horror has. I was pleasantly surprised to find some likable characters, people I wanted to see live and was scared for. A lot of the victims are assholes, so you kinda want them to get their just desserts, but none of them did anything too deplorable that made me get tired of watching them like in some movies. It probably helped that they were dissing my favourite holiday or teasing autistic kids, both of which made me feel they deserved it. Regardless, I was still worried for their lives. I liked that they were smart too. I'll give props to Mr. Kreeg for shooting the monster twice for example, a smart move more characters should do in films. It doesn't work of course, but at least he reacted intelligently. There's very little in the way of gore, relying more on proper scares to carry the day. That follows into the jump scare category, not that many either.

I really liked the way it felt like an old EC Comics story, especially with the interconnected plot. I think that's why I accept the asshole victim trope here more than other films, because it's set up like an EC Comic where half the time the whole point was to see the victims get punished for their actions. The comic book-like set-up also added to the fun, trying to spot when the stories intersected and how things were connected. Truly though, Sam was the highlight of the film. He loves Halloween as much as I do and hates the jerks who lack the spirit. I loved the little guy just for that.

If I have any complaints they're minor, I'm not big on child death for one. It's something that always irks me. I also felt that Rhonda stating the Human Sacrifice ritual myth of old Halloween as fact was rather annoying, considering she's supposed to be the expert on the Holiday. However, the movie was fun enough to overcome my usual disdain for the child death and incorrect historical facts surrounding the holiday. And it takes a lot for me to do that, believe me. So kudos to this film for that alone. Sam now ranks alongside the Cryptkeeper as a beloved Halloween icon in my eyes.

Not Horrible At All

This film isn't nearly as bad as the last reviewer says it is. *Spoilers Ahead*

The plot can admittingly be a bit hard to follow, but not if you pay attention. I liked how the plots of each indiviual story connected together, not just with the presence of Sam, but with character interactions, like Mr. Kreeg being the bus driver of the Halloween Schoolbus Massacre. I honestly wasn't too scared watching this movie, but that could be because I'm a Nightmare Fetishist. The only thing I really agree with the last reviewer is that Sam having a pumpkin head isn't really that scary. An Undead Child or some sort of goblin would have been better. Each arc has a "rule" of Halloween that needs to be followed: The young couple in the beginning of the film: Keep your lanturns lit. The school principal: check your candy. The Little Red Riding Hood: don't go out alone, though the twist is that the serial killer principal who bites the dust. The Deadly Prank arc: don't bully or harm the innocent, though this one is a bit more general. Mr. Kreeg's arc: hand out candy.

In other words, this film is actually a nice Anthology, sending up the traditions of Halloween.