Reviews: Fanfic/The Hill Of Swords

Good idea, horrible execution.

While Hill of swords in paper reads like an awesome idea it suffers from a terrible execution, a flawed one if you will, when Louise summons Shirou he is not the Shirou we all know and love, he is a sociopath, despite Gabriel blessing trying to give Shirou an Archer like feeling he fails at doing so, Archer is pragmatic, cynical and sarcastic, GB!Shirou thinks that it will be a shame to kill all of the people in the Academy in order to make sure his master is safe.

Beyond that Shirou has not really matured, he is still reckless and represents the idea of Leeroy Jenkins, he went in the end arc to fight an entire kingdom by himself, despite UBW having enough weapons to match an army Shirou is in the end human.

His portrayal of the cast is bland at best, i dont feel depth on Louise, Siesta, Henrietta or any one else they are there to say how good or great Shirou is or Louise to be overtly Tsundere.

There is a point where Shirou breaks down because he thinks he has become archer after he sees himself on a mirror, somehow he and the original FSN cast miss a giant spot check with his 'Archer-like' behavior.

While a good concept as i said before it crashes down before it can even fly.

From comments

  • Comments: While, as the author notes, this is not the first Fate Stay Night / Zero No Tsukaima crossover ever thought up, it is one of the most promising in execution. Even with only three chapters so far, the attention to detail, weaving of hints, and laudable efforts to flesh out exactly how Shirou fits into this new world make this tale a fresh take on the setting, one well worth reading.
    • Comartemis: I almost wrote this one off before the first chapter was done because Shirou doesn't talk or act anything like any version of Shirou seen in the games. Then it hit me towards the end of the first chapter; it's not Shirou, it's Emiya, or at least a Shirou who's well on his way to becoming a Counter Guardian. Subsequent chapters and authors notes confirm this, and I'm eagerly awaiting future installments on this one.
    • Another thing worth mentioning is the consistent speed of the writer. He started on the 18th of July and got 4 chapters done in 8 DAYS. The total word count so far (for those 4 chapters) is about 40,000 words. This alone makes the fic quite recommendable, but then add in that the quality DOESN'T take a hit from it and you get a really great piece of work.
    • The moments of humor and awesomeness ALONE would make this worth reading, this troper has read it multiple times and still enjoys it all.
    • Definitely recommended. Shirou does a briliant job of dragging Loise out of her depression at which point she not only becomes very likable but also quite badass. Their outtakes as well as his Deadpan Snarker inner monologue are absolutely hilarious. I was reading it in Kyon's voice the entire time. The author has based his work on the novels rather than the anime and isn't strictly following canon but that's definitely for the better.