In the original review you wrote, the only errors you could find in the writing were things that differed from personal preference. ( e.g. periods vs. elipses, subtle vocalizations vs. elipses, whether or not certain terms should be capitalized). That was where the bulk of your review focused on. There were other critiques sent from others about the voices, music, and wordiness of it, and they were all very decently worded, but the original review you sent seemed to try so very hard to find something wrong with it and then touted that punctuation preferences ruined the whole thing. It was too ridiculous to take seriously. I'm sorry if you have a stigma against the project lead, but the immaturity and holier-than-thou attitude in your original privately sent review was grossly unnecessary.
Leave a Comment:
First Chapter - Little Work Would Go a Long Way
There were a lot of things I really liked about the first chapter of Featherbent. The character art was consistent throughout. The backgrounds were lovely; detailed enough to stand on their own, but not at all taking away from the characters when they were on screen. The background music was also superb and the narrator was incredibly professional and enthralling.
There are only two places where Featherbent lacks for me, and both really come down to the writing/directing of the piece. It was quite obviously pushed for a release date it wasn't quite ready for. The errors in writing, dialogue, basic grammar and proper English are very noticeable. With a little more attention to detail and a real desire to release quality over deadline, I think Featherbent could have offered a lot more for its audience. Additionally, having someone involved that didn't already know the world would have been a lot more helpful as very little is explained to the reader, even in the most basic sense, leaving you feeling lost for much of the story.
However, the true failing I found was not with the visual novel itself, but with its creator and lead writer/director. I'm under no delusion that this is a truly professional piece of work. It's simply a group of friends working really hard on something. And that's a great place to start. But the care given to constructive criticism is down right shameful. Fivetail was overly defensive of nearly every point, downright aggressive at times and obviously insulting at others. After spending a very long time giving this project my honest and thought out critique, the response was nothing but a giant teal deer (TL;DR = Too Long; Didn't Read). It's juvenile, rude and more than a little condescending.
Now that I know that is the attitude and behavior of the lead on this little pet project, I find it incredibly hard to believe there is much hope of Featherbent getting any better over time. If Fivetail would care to get down off her high horse and deflate her ego there is a shot. But while she's under the impression she can do no wrong, there's no way for her or her work to improve.