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Reviews Film / Two Thousand Twelve

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victorinox243 victorinox243 Since: Nov, 2009
victorinox243
12/31/2014 02:57:01 •••

The Earth is ROFLING in this movie

Now in order for this review to make sense, it would be wise for the troper to first see this video: http://vimeo.com/5463875

If you were expecting a serious movie with ethical and moral debates against a backdrop of doom, then shame on you; Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow should have been enough of a hint on the kind of material Roland Emmerich rolls out. However, in this case, Mr. Emmerich seems to have become self aware and this time set out to make the most entertaining disaster porn ever.

Now I am definitely not saying that millions of people dying is funny. What I am saying is that by setting your willing suspension of disbelief to 11, you allow Emmerich to crank up the obviousness of the tropes to the point of comedy: you just know what's going to happen during the scene, and when the beat arrives, you know DISASTER is not far behind. And when disaster strikes, every single slow motion take is lovingly composed with the kind of destruction no serious movie can show without looking ridiculous and insensitive. Plus it's rapid fire comedy, so every scene is stacked with gags, jokes, narm, and tropes up the wazoo and highlighted with clever camera angles and careful sound mixing.

The dialogue is bland and predictable, the plot is flimsy and predictable, and the plot holes are bigger than the chasms that people keep falling into (cue Wilhelm Scream). But once again, it's just a skeleton on which the meat of the action—the destruction that is—can shine in all it's glory.

If James Cameron is the master of building entire universes, then Roland Emmerich must be the master at destroying universes. If they ever meet, they might just cancel each other out of existence.

I plead with you, go see this movie. It is so bad it's good, and the sheer magnitude and proliferation of disaster will certainly make up for what the movie lacks.

lonercs Since: Jun, 2010
12/31/2014 00:00:00

I didn't see the comedy. I just seen it as insensitive and mean-spirited. It was 2.5 hours of me getting angrier and angrier. Like the review above, the likable character get killed, there's a half-ass line of "rich people suck" despite pretty much all of them live. The science is garbage, and the "comedy" if intended falls flat. If you want to see shit getting fucked up then fine but, if you want to watch a movie where you care about the characters and what happens in the movie, it's just going to piss you off.

It's so bad it's aggravating.


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