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Reviews Film / Death Race

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maninahat Grand Poobah Since: Apr, 2009
Grand Poobah
09/02/2012 14:20:23 •••

(The 2008 remake)

Death Race tells the story of Jensen Ames (Jason Statham); a poor family man whose wife is murdered, daughter kidnapped and, to cap it all off, gets framed and arrested. Whilst he's incarcerated in a high security jail, the icy head warden becomes aware of Jensen's past racing history and forces him to enter a no-holds-barred, demolition derby in which contenders tool up their rides with weapons and armour and kill each other on live tv.

I could have forgiven many things about this extraordinarily retarded film. I could have forgiven the shit-for-brains story telling. I could have forgiven the total lack of on-screen chemistry between Jason "permanently-clenched-teeth" Statham and Natalie "the-obligatory-totty" Martinez. I could have even forgiven the idea that we are supposed to believe Jensen is a loving father, despite him appearing to forget that he even has a daughter for the first half of the picture. I could have forgiven it all had the action in the movie been exciting. Well it wasn't. Considering that the entire plot is just an excuse to have cars with guns, the actual races are surprisingly boring. The cars move as fast as a fat man on a segway, and for all the machine gun fire, they seem incapable of actually harming one another. But then putting five tons of armour on all the cars would probably kill the speed and toughen them up a bit. This film is appallingly bad. It isn't even the funny kind of bad. You would get more entertainment out of just bashing a couple of toy Matchbox cars together in your hands. Avoid like the clap.

Morven Since: Jan, 2001
04/30/2009 00:00:00

I watched it (a) for free as part of my cable package, and (b) with a few drinks. It plays good enough for that, but I wouldn't really spend any actual hard cash on it.

A brighter future for a darker age.
188.112.137.18 Since: Dec, 1969
12/29/2009 00:00:00

I think you and I were watching a different movie. I happily went to see it in the cinema when it came out (and we got it three months later than everyone else, mind you) and I own it on DVD. It's also one of my favorite movies. Just the fact that it had little to no CG (all the cars and races, as well as crashes were shot physically) makes it stand out from other car-themed movies (Fast&Furious comes to mind).

MacPhisto Since: Jul, 2009
06/30/2010 00:00:00

disagree

while this is certainly an In Name Only version of a superior film, it's still entertaining

Tell Me A Lie... And Say That You Won't Go...
70.124.57.151 Since: Dec, 1969
03/07/2011 00:00:00

This review is completely invalidated by the use of the word, "retarded".

conquerat Since: Jun, 2012
08/31/2012 00:00:00

This movie is for manly men who work on their own cars and always wanted to up-armor and arm them to kill other drivers, not fanboys that wet their pants for crap like Transformers. This is silly, stupid, 80's movies revenge/ murder fantasy, not "Shindler's List". It's worth the $5 for the DVD.

GrandPrincePaulII Since: Oct, 2010
maninahat Since: Apr, 2009
09/02/2012 00:00:00

Needs a wacky racer's dub next.

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