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In general (and I guess for future reference), I'd say:
Start with identifying the main point this person was trying to make. Then start cutting natter-y stuff and Word Cruft. Then tackle the conversational junk like "Ok follow me on this." Move the point to the top of the paragraph. Take out anything tangentially or not even related to that point. Get parabombing out of the parentheses or parenthetical phrases and ask if that info is needed; if not, remove it. Remove ALLCAPS and pointless emphasis and exclamations. Reduce the word count by taking out redundant examples (if you're saying "We get it after X" then take out everything after X).
EDIT: Also, you can take out speculation, like the thing about Western cartoons. This isn't really the place to be asserting that anyway.
- Gramps was the Hammerman, but he needs a new Hammerman due to becoming too old to use magic. The magic takes a toll on his body, and he eventually couldn't contain it any more. However, the theme says "Gramps and his granddaughter." This means that he's already had a son or daughter, but we're never shown his child, only his grandkid. The show never addresses the fact that Gramps had either a kid or in-law who could possibly become the new Hammerman. This would not be so noticeable were it not implied in the theme song.
Hmm, alright. Thanks for the help! I changed some stuff from your fix up and am going to go put it in.
Jawbreakers on sale for 99¢
This also an I which means its an This Troper type edit.
Discord: Waido X 255#1372 If you cant contact me on TV Tropes do it here.
Nice Wall of Text rant. It's been trimmed to remove the excess wording.
I found the "Excuse me", which is This Troper. The whole thing was added back in May by 18TillIDie. Should I PM him?
Edited by jameygamer
Actually, it's been deleted before. Said troper added it in July 2016, it was removed in April, then added back the following May.
Are these close enough to be Edit War?
His edit history
. Found a first person edit on Exo Squad, BTW. He also did first person comments on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks as well. Someone deleted a first one, then he added a replacement.
Suspended for first-person writing. Needs cleanup.
"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"
I removed the Natter from Exo Squad, but I need clearance on the revert for My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks.
I've also found a lengthy Conversation In The Main Page in No Sense of Mass under Literature that they added on to. What should I do?
Edited by jameygamer
Remove the first person comments on Equestria and chop the Conversation back to the actual example.
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. -Terry Pratchett
So in YMMV.Hammerman, there is this very long tirade about the plot established in the theme song. The core idea is fine, but everything else... Isn't.
- Ok follow me on this: Gramps was the Hammerman. Ok, fine. He needs a NEW Hammerman because, somehow, he's gotten to old to use magic...alright no problem. The magic takes a toll on his body, after a while he couldn't contain it any more. Basically the plot to MCU Ant-Man. Hold on. So the theme says "Gramps and HIS GRANDDAUGHTER". Excuse me? He has a granddaughter, meaning he has a son or daughter already? Where are they? Why not give them the shoes? Let's assume it's his daughter and he wanted to only pass it to a male, or was forced to even, she has a DAUGHTER! Where is she!? And if it IS a son, where is he? Why leave your kid with your dad and split? Did they die? Are they just deadbeats? Is that why the hypothetical son or daughter is unworthy of the power? We never know because they never even address this. Now, of course, the out-of-universe reason is the same reason why Donald and Scrooge are both 'uncles' and never have kids, or why Pop-Eye and Olive are 'babysitting', or why Jackie is the 'uncle' of Jade in Jackie Chan Adventures and so on—Western cartoons emphasize distant familial relations for some reason. But here it introduces a massive plot hole which is NEVER BROUGHT UP ONCE in the entire show! One which the show, not only draws attention to by putting it in the opening theme, but HINGES on since otherwise Stanley is irrelevant!
I want to fix it, as it does have a valid point, but I'm not sure where to start. Edited by Crossover-Enthusiast