Romance

For me, I think I'm over the butterflies feeling (like, not for one person, just in general). Like, I've developed a tolerance for it and I don't think it can really get me "high" anymore; it's no longer a positive feeling even when I do get it. (Lolol, like a real drug.) I'm 25, which isn't old, but like, I'm old enough that I no longer want to waste my time with shit that's only going to last a couple of months. No matter how awesome it may be in the moment. I want something that's going to make me happy forever, not giddy for a month or two.

Not for everyone I guess. Different strokes and all that.

-Is listening-

I <3 u 5eva Aquos

Is this supposed to be self-demonstration, Alex?

I don't know.

I mean I just.... like the whole committal monogamous "do anything for them" mature love just... doesn't really do much for me for some reason, which is probably shallow but I can't really change the way my mind works.

Like when I was younger I idealized that kind of love but I don't find the same pleasure in it as I probably should

I don't think that's immature, I think you have to figure out what you want and go for that. I mean, everyone has to do that, but it's harder when you don't fit into society's "This is what a perfect relationship looks like and you should want this" box.

Aquos, it is. u make me hapy 4evar

edited 1st Jun '15 9:49:52 AM by SolipSchism

It's Aqueous. Or Tobias.

*It

*you

*happy

*3ever

edited 1st Jun '15 9:53:31 AM by AqueousBunnies

The honeymoon phase is where passion is the main drive, essentially infatuation that just happens to be mutual. A lasting love is more mature than that, with dedication (commitment) and a sense of closeness and companionship (intimacy) balanced out with that passion. A relationship cannot subsist solely on passion, because passion fades. Think of it as, say, jumping into a pool of boiling water. It feels hot at first, dangerously hot, giving you a sense of excitement but as you get used to it, it settles into a nice, warm feeling as you slowly die that feels really comfortable.

Of course, that sense of excitement doesn't need to fade—you and your partner must work to keep the relationship interesting. Complacency is the killer.

What is that? Is that some sort of sex thing?

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

And I guess continuing off my prior post:
Nova, you say you're 18? You still have time to develop and mature, so it's possible at this moment you just won't really understand, not until you have some more life experience. Or you might find as you get older and more mature that you really don't want all the stuff I described. You're still pretty young, so you have time to figure it out.

edited 1st Jun '15 9:58:44 AM by Odd1

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

It's a Children's Card Game.

Standing on the edge of the crater...

No Aquos, you are Aquos.

And that is not a children's game!

edited 1st Jun '15 10:49:34 AM by SolipSchism

Thinking about this from a practical standpoint it's almost a lose-lose scenario. So many ways this can go horribly wrong. Maybe I'm doing this wrong, thinking about the practicality and convenience in this setting.

I still feel like it has to be done.

18 and younger people are so dramatic, always like "I will never love again, I love you always," yadda yadda

Speaking of honeymoon phase, I think I partly skipped that with my current crush .-. I guess she weirds me out enough that it snaps me out of it before I get into that "put them on pedestal for being adorable" mood xD

Anyhoo, my relationships and lack of them are depressing. Attractive girls in my school that do share hobbies with me but who I don't either talk to them(due to not sharing class) or not interested in them that way, my crush is attracted to anime characters only and I'm starting to consider dating sites x'D

Having friendships is nice, but I'm bit clingy person in that I get lonely and depressed if I don't see anyone for a week or so :'D Haven't been able to hang out with my crush lately so I've been again feeling lonely Also, would be nice to cuddle with someone occasionally...

edited 1st Jun '15 1:13:42 PM by SpookyMask

Oh dude, that last paragraph, I feel ya there.

The only person with whom I've had any realistic prospects I haven't seen in a while, since every time I ask if she wants to get together she says she's busy with school or work. Since I'm now basically permanently out of school, I don't quite have as much chance of meeting people as I did before (not that I did a great job of that when I was in school), so I'm not sure exactly how things are gonna go for me from this point on.

I did get a message on Facebook out of the blue from a childhood friend of mine about a month ago (one on whom, of course, I had a bit of a crush for a while, but also one who at one point didn't really ever talk to me anymore unless it had something to do with this weird pyramid scheme she was involved with for a bit). We're seeing about meeting up soon, though that's not gonna be for a while for stupidly complicated reasons that I don't wanna get into.

I can't think of any other ways to meet people at this point. Not trying through work because I'm kinda sick of my job and looking for another one and doubt I'll meet anyone in the kinds of jobs I'm looking for anyway, and I gave up on dating sites because just no.

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

If anyone has any sort of input, I'll be glad to hear it.

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

Meetup.com? I know you said no internet, but it's a social site first and foremost, meant for meeting up with groups that share your interests (ex: Mortal Kombat tournament). Expanding your social circle can never hurt in any case, and increases the likelihood of meeting someone of your desired gender who could stand a relationship with you :-P

Why "just no" on dating sites? I mean to each their own, but they're a great resource and I've had pretty reasonable experiences. You just have to do some vetting before you rush out the door to meet somebody in person. "Just no" isn't very rational.

That aside... I wouldn't recommend dating in the workplace anyway. So no big loss there.

Other than that... Bars, I guess, or singles events or something, though I've never done any of those so I wouldn't know how to go about it. I'd guess there are things posted at, like, your local library or community college, maybe, about singles mixers or whatever.

Seriously, though, dating sites are a massively useful tool that opens up tons of options.

For years I didn't want to use the word "love" because I was taught it was special and perfect and rare and I wanted to be sure I wasn't devaluing the word. I later came to the conclusion that if it feels like something you want to describe as "love", it is.

I was hesitant about dating sites for a long time because I didn't want to frontload a meeting with "we are both here to decide if the other person is someone we could spend the rest of our lives with", but then I realized that nobody who meets me without that context ever considers me that way before deciding what I am to them.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

Because I tried dating sites for years, as I have documented many times in this thread, and found zero success in any connotation of the word. I have had no good experiences whatsoever through dating sites, no matter how much vetting or not I do. And it's not like vetting would help me much anyway, as no matter how many people I would contact, I would get responses from, like, .001%, and even those people would stop responding after one message.

So I think "just no" is pretty a pretty damn rational position for me here, thank you very much.

Therein lies my problem.

And I'm not sure bars would really work for me. I'm looking for companionship, not a one night stand. Though I could use one night stand to tie my room together.

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

Eh...leery of those sites. I guess I could look, but cautiously.

EDIT: Signed up out of curiosity. Here's one of the groups it suggested for me: "A new style Mommy and Me with a Jewish Twist, Babyccino"

That has absolutely nothing to do with the interests I mentioned.

edited 1st Jun '15 5:53:20 PM by Odd1

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

Go to meetups looking to have fun, make friends, and maybe meet people to date, in that order. Find group hobbies you want to try and join groups doing them (some of those groups are on Meetup)

When I go to a bar, I just want to have some drinks and maybe dinner. If a lady started to chat me up I might not be averse to it (although the one time a woman approached me it was someone who looked at least 15 years older than me who was already drunk and glommed onto me before I'd made my first order to ask me if I'd dance with her later, then had me meet all her friends. I awkwardly hung around until she seemed to have forgotten me and then ran out on her, never to return to that bar.), but it'd be an intrusion.

Then again, I'm not going to singles' bars.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

I don't even really have any interest in finding random meetup stuff anyway, though. Honestly, the concept of even looking into those things sounds terribly lame to me.

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.

If you were interested in going to, say, pub quizzes (or fill in your own event), but you didn't have anyone to go with, would you go alone, or would you want to go with friendly strangers of similar inclinations? Meetup is great for finding social events that you don't necessarily have to connect with specific groups for.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

Most of the meetups I've gone to have been "we're going to be here playing tabletop games". You can RSVP, or you can just come join a game with room for more players.

Thanks to Meetup, I know of some places that just always have space for playing games and often have groups looking for players or players looking for groups, no Meetup required.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

Jesus you sound like an advertisement.

Looking around the site, there's really very little I can find that I really have much interest in. And the ones I can find really seem to have either incredibly lame events (blueberry picking, for example) or never host any events ever.

If I had no one to go with? I'd probably just go alone, if I really had enough of a drive to even go. It's not like I've never gone out on my own alone before.

edited 1st Jun '15 6:07:24 PM by Odd1

Insert witty 'n clever quip here.