All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

“And,” Nephrite triumphantly answered, “by capturing it, we’ll lure the rest of Jadeite’s killers into a deadly, unescapable tramp! Including the Sailor Senshi! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

The black cat finally stopped under a tree’s fresh shadow, huffing to herself and shaking her head. That made it ache, so she took a paw to her forehead and hissed her frustrations. That hiss only grew worse when she heard a happy go lucky, annoyingly peppy male voice coming from behind her.

“So,” the voice said, “that crescent moon on your forehead ain’t no tattoo, right? Funny, I happen to know a guy who has one of those, too…”

The cat turned her head back to him and growled, “What do you want?!”

“My, my, pushy girl,” the ermine who sat on the grass puffing on a cigarette shook his head. “Why don’t we try introducing ourselves first? I’m Albert Chamomile, but my friends call me Chamo. I’m an ermine—“

“Elf, I know,” she said. “I’ve heard about your kind. You go around affiliating yourselves to magic users of this realm and exploiting them for your profit. I’ll have no part on that!”

“Okay, that went straight from pushy to rude!” Chamo decided, then gasped as he saw her leap away. “Hey, where you going?! At least hear me out first!”

Without bothering to answer, the female cat cleanly went over several rows of bushes, then ran along a wide boulevard, constantly checking back over her shoulder. She reached a public female bath, ran her way through it skilfully sticking to the proximity of the walls, came out the opposite way, then hopped into a small local cafeteria. She absently took a meat bun from a tray, easily outran the angry waitress racing after him waving said tray, passed through several other bushes and trees, zigzagged through a few classrooms and finally maneuvered across a science lab, finally stopping by a clearing, next to a large fountain, sitting down to enjoy her meat bun…

“Okay, as I was saying,” Chamo sat down right before her just as soon as she had settled down, making the cat spit out her first mouthful all over the grass, “now that’s no way to treat a perfectly friendly guy who just wants to talk about a mutual friend, because don’t try to tell me there are Maus everywhere and you’re completely unrelated. Relax, I’m not after your tail that way! I’m not into quadrupedals, really, and if I must be honest, body hair and fur have always turned me off…”

“I have a human form as well,” the cat chillingly said, staring a veritable Gate of Babylon at him.

Chamo perked up. “See, now that’s interesting. Tell me more…”

A few moments later he cringed in pain while taking his paws to the slash marks on his face. “If you didn’t want to discuss the topic, you shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place…!”

“Listen, I may not look like it, but I’m a busy woman,” the cat said, returning her attentions to her meat bun. After a moment of doubt, she sliced it by half with a claw and offered part of it to Chamo as a way to say sorry without actually saying it. The ermine accepted it with a nod and she scowled, looking at the lingerie he had no doubt stolen from the public baths while pursuing her. “If you’re going to disturb me, better make it quick and worthwhile.”

“Okay, sure thing,” he said while munching and thinking these weren’t anywhere as good as the Chao Bao Zi’s. “Does the name ‘Artemis’ ring any bells to you? He’s your brother, or—“

She made a face. “So he’s still alive, isn’t he? Well, I guess it had to be expected, considering the situation at Mahora. Sailor Senshi can recover their memories on their own, but for two of them to appear in such a short notice…”

“Three, actually,” Chamo corrected. “The Martian one just manifested herself, I was right there when it happened!”

“Seriously?!” the cat was greatly taken aback. “Oh, geez, at this rate he’s going to find them all before I even can—“

“It’s a competition, some sort of market share thing?” he curiously asked. “Us familiars aren’t that fiercely competitive, considering a single person can hold two or more provisional contracts at once with different brokers…”

“No, no, of course not!” she angrily waved a paw. “It’s just, well, I’d hate to be left behind without actually pulling my own part in this! You have no idea how important this whole situation is, do you? Exactly how much has Artemis told you?”

“Not much, apparently, since he never mentioned he had a sister. I don’t think he likes me a whole lot…”

“Sheesh, I wonder why. And I’m not his sister! My name’s Luna, and we happen to be nothing but… colleagues from a while back.”

“Ah. Colleagues. I get it!”

“Please stop wiggling your eyebrows like that. It’s borderline disgusting.”

“I am? Sorry, sometimes my face does that on its own,” Chamo piously said. “Then, how many of those Sailor Senshi have you found?”

“I have given her memories back to Sailor Pluto, if that’s what you mean,” Luna murmured.

“Oh, the blonde Oneesama we ran into in Kyoto!” Chamo said. “Did she mention Kyoto to you?”

“A little. Pluto likes to keep it mysterious.”

“And I’m sure you can appreciate that,” Chamo chuckled, taking another cigarette puff. “Well, then surely you’re aware there are two more, Uranus and Neptune. Any idea who gave *them* their powers?”

“Other than Artemis and I, I doubt there’s any surviving Maus in this world anymore. Like I said, theoretically, Senshi can regain knowledge of their true nature on their own.”

“The last of your kind, seriously?” Chamo gulped and sincerely added, “Che, I’m sorry, then. No wonder Artemis didn’t want to talk on the subject. Why don’t you get back together, then, I’m sure you two would—“

“I have important matters to attend to here,” Luna denied him. “The Dark Agency has begun moving in this district, and Pluto’s duties mean she can’t patrol the area constantly. The local Magical Girls aren’t up to the task, and I must find the Sailor Senshi of this sector before people start dying, not just having some of their energy drained.”

“Okay, I think I know how this goes. You start feeling good magical vibes from a girl, you start tailing her until a dangerous situation arises, then you instruct her to wake her potential up. That’s how it seems to have gone with Venus-chan, Mercury-chan and Mars-chan.”

“Basically,” Luna conceded with a nod. “I was following my best hunch around when I was ambushed and beaten by those small barbarians.”

“Okay, and who’s your lucky woman?” Chamo inquired. “Half-Glasses, or the really sweet, big-busted, lovely—“

Luna grimaced, then looked aside awkwardly.

Chamo gulped and, despite being white, seemed to go pale under the fur. “Oh, wait, don’t tell me…!”

Type Moon Complex proved that Protagonist Power gives you a very impressive wang.

"Oh! Look!" Negi's voice rang again. "Down the street, that's me with my sister!"

They all looked in that general direction, and saw The Most Adorable Tiny Tyke ever walking towards them, hand on hand with a beautiful young blonde who certainly looked a fair bit like the Black Rose Baron in a sensible, traditional long skirted solid black dress. He was so adorable Tiny Tim would have looked like Mike Tyson standing next to him. He was so adorable Garfield would have put him in a box and sent him to Abu Dhabi. He was so adorable Rito and Keiichi felt like they were getting cavities just from sharing air with him. Yes. He was adorable.

Ayaka's answer to that was, naturally, to let out a strangled cry of joy and plummet on her back, propelled by a spray of stark white blood from her astral nose. Chachamaru, mesmerized, marched ahead, crouched down before him, and tried to stroke his scalp, only to sigh in disappointment when he kept on walking right through her. Even Chisame was doing visible efforts to keep her facial expression on check from going 'Awwwww!'

"Your father?" the blond girl was saying. "Well, your father is a famous hero! Just like... Just like Superman!"

"Superman?" Chibi-Negi said.

"Negi-kun, I thought they didn't speak Japanese in your village?" Makie asked.

"They didn't, Makie-san, but I'm translating our speech for your benefit," Narrator Negi benevolently said.

"Isn't that an admission you haven't been able to teach them English over the best part of a whole school year?" asked Rito.

"You know, Yuuki-san, I might make it so the speech is translated for everyone but you, since I'm sure your English teacher is so much better than I," Negi casually commented.

Rito held his hands up. "No need to get touchy on that subject, Sensei."

Misa stared at Chisame. "He wasn't that way when you had just put your hands on him, you're aware of that?"

"What do you mean with that?" Chisame defensively asked.

"Mind, not that I dislike the extra bit of attitude and snark, the little bit less of white bread, but—" Misa began before Sakurako and Madoka loudly hushed her.

"Yes, like Superman!" Nekane Springfield was now saying. "When someone was in trouble, he'd swoop in, save them, and then go away to save someone else!"

"Ah!" Chibi-Negi cheerfully said. "So that's why he's never at home!"

"Yes, yes!" Nekane nodded. "Isn't that just cool?"

"Two peas in a pod, I see," Chisame observed.

"Sensei, you're aware this is justification of child abandonment, aren't you?" Rito argued. "I mean, my parents left Mikan and I alone through most of our childhoods, but we never tried to make excuses for them! They were just heartless workaholics probably in affairs with their colleagues and that was it!"

"I feel bad for you then, Yuuki-san, but my father was NOT like that!" Narrator Negi protested.

"Sorry, but I think I've gotta side with Rito-chan here, Negi-kun," Haruna piped in. "My father is a hero himself, the God of Martial Arts, Slayer of the Dragon God, peerless harem hero and conqueror of female hearts everywhere, and yet he'd never spend more than a weekend away from home. Granted, I think most of the time it was Auntie Kasumi's cooking pulling him back, but—"

"No offense, Haruna-san, but I'm sure my father conquered even more female hearts," Narrator Negi murmured. "You'd agree, wouldn't you, Master?"

"Why are you asking me that, you idiot?!" Evangeline growled.

An old man with a long white beard, wearing a long gray robe and a pointy wizard's hat, came across Chibi-Negi and Nekane along the street, having overheard their conversation. "Yes, yes," he said, "but what good did that do for him? He died alone, after pushing himself too far, and whoever thanked him for it? No one! Ptooie, what a fool he was!"

"Wow, Negi-kun, your childhood was rough," Makie gulped. "Gandalf made cruel fun of your father! And Gandalf was real!"

"That's no Gandalf, that's one of our neighbors!" Narrator Negi pointed out.

"He sure looks like Gandalf, except because he's a dick, instead of enjoying them," Chisame snorted.

"Leave Sir Ian Mc Kellen's preferences out of this, he's more than earned that!" Haruna retorted.

"Will you stop treating Negi-sensei's tragic childhood like an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000!?" Ayaka cried.

"Wow, Iinchou," Haruna was impressed, "that sure is some serious nerd cred. Who'd have thought it..."

"Chizuru-san likes it, okay?! Chizuru-san has ecclectic tastes!"

"Now, now, Mr, Stan, please," Nekane was telling Gandalf, "that's no way to talk in front of a child..."

"Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior Citizen!" Gandalf said.

"My father died?" Chibi-Negi asked. "What does that mean, Mr. Stan, Sir?"

"It means you'll never see him again," Gandalf explained. "He went away forever, poof, begone, finito. That's what death means! Going to sleep for all eternity, to never wake up!"

Chibi-Negi reeled, visibly shaken by that revelation, and Narrator Negi fell into a really uncomfortable silence at the same time. So did his friends, really, since there was no amused commentary any of them could make from the scene of a child learning about death. Maybe we should have written Chachazero into this scene after all.

As Chibi-Negi began sobbing softly to himself, with Nekane crouching down to hug him firmly, the girls' eyes began watering, even Evangeline, although she had turned around while pretending she was studying a store's window and the dresses in exhibition there. Rito, who had been perfectly willing to take cheap shots at his alleged romantic rival's parental abandonment moments ago, was tearing up while astral snot oozed down his nose, and Keiichi rubbed his eyes with the back of a hand while reminding himself to call his parents and Megumi and remind them he loved them right after leaving the resort. Itoshiki, in the meanwhile, had simply, somehow, astrally hung himself from a nearby lampost.

"W-Well," Nekane was saying at the moment, rather awkwardly, "we don't actually know if he's dead, Negi. They never found his body, so he could be still alive... as a matter of fact, I'm sure he was! He was, no, is too strong to have died! I'm pretty sure he's still out there, saving people everywhere!"

"R-Really?" Chibi-Negi sniffled, looking up at her hopefully. "Then, then, if I'm ever in danger, he will come to save me as well?"

Nekane grew a gigantic sweatdrop, as her Big Sister Dread Sense went into red overdrive. "Um... yeah, maybe, I suppose..."

"You're really dumb, aren't you!" another, squeaky and high pitched voice said from somewhere close. It was squeaky and high pitched enough to make Makie sound like James Earl Jones in comparison. Squeaky and high pitched enough Squirrel Girl would have tried to recruit its owner in the spot. Yes. Squeaky and high pitched.

The Ala Alba members, bristling with near murderous shared fury at that outrage, looked in the direction of the voice, and most of them, the girls at least, barely felt any more placated when they saw the voice came from a girl with red hair in twintails, just as short as Chibi-Negi. They could feel a rival when they saw her, after all.

"No one can meet someone who's dead!" the tiny girl said, with a thick Russian accent that years of studying at Merdiana hadn't tempered yet. "You're the son of the Thousand Master and you didn't know that?!"

"Liar! Liar! Liar!" Oshizu and Sayo chanted and booed.

"Darn stupid Russkies!" Makie shook a fist angrily, channeling her inner Frank Stallone.

"I thought you had said they were darn good at making guns?" Yuuna asked her.

"Yeah, but only at that and getting drunk! Boo, Russkies! Boo, Russkie Girl!"

"Oh, good morning, Anya," Nekane said, sweetly smiling down at the little girl in a way that Chisame thought was perhaps a little bit too flowery and loving for someone who was bullying her little brother figure.

"That's not true!" Chibi-Negi pouted, firmly standing his ground against the Russkie. "My father will come for me!"

"You're an idiot!" Anya cried at him. "You've been told what 'death' means, and you don't get it yet!"

"Don't fight, don't fight..." Nekane begged, in a way all to reminiscent of Negi's.

"That's Anya Cocolova, my best childhood friend," Narrator Negi explained. "She's one year older than me, and we graduated together. I think I've already told you two about her, Chisame, Satomi-san...?"

"That socioculturally insensitive pygmy is someone you still regard as your friend, Sensei?!" a scandalized Hakase asked. "I was under the impression she was your sworn enemy!"

"What...? No! Whatever gave you that impression?" he asked.

"Well, for starters, all your recollections about unpleasant childhood incidents where she'd question your personal worth, your developing manhood, I mean, in the non-venereal sense, and your intelligence, not to mention all the acts of physical violence she'd inflict upon you because of the smallest perceived slights..." Satomi argued.

"Unpleasant? Those were some of my most cherished memories!" Negi gasped.

"Okay," Misa rubbed her astral temples, "now I'm starting to get why he'd enjoy living with Chisame and studying under Eva..."

"HEY!" Chisame and Eva said.

By now, the heated discussion between the children was cut short by Anya slamming a star-tipped wand on Negi's hands. "Here! If you really are going to be a strong mage like him, you'll need this!"

"Eh?" Chibi-Negi blinked. "Why?"

"S-Stupid, I'm going to magical school next year, why don't you too?" Anya sputtered. "This is a beginner's practice wand. With it, if you study hard, you might become a man like your father! As long as you practice hard, a lot, just like I'll be doing!"

"Oh God, this is so disgusting," Chisame sneered, pointing at the blush on Anya's cheeks. "Just look at that little troll! She's such a freaking Tsundere! How do I hate Tsundere, with their stupid 'I, I, I don't want to help you but I'll do it anyway, because I take pity on you, not because I like you or anything!' crap act! They make me so mad, I'd like to vomit on them!"

"Yeah, for once we agree on something, Hasegawa Chisame," Evangeline gruffly said. "Those women are just the saddest and the worst!"

"..." everyone else, even Narrator Negi, said, while looking directly at them.

"What?!" Chisame finally snarled at them, while Eva continued fuming obliviously.

“Of that I have no doubts. Now, time for me to have some fun,” the old lady murmured before fading from view.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Natsumi made her way through several sections of costumes. She had passed by a large rack filled with what appeared to be various bird costumes. All of them were well made, with the wings appearing to be crafted carefully with real feathers and what felt like suede for the fake feet and claws for the ends of the arms. The sign above the rack stated this was “Harpies, Sirens, Gandharva, and More.”

Natsumi wasn't sure what a Gandharva was, but a quick examination of a costume labeled as such told her that it was evidently a bird possessing large breasts. Embarassed, she moved onward in her search.

She passed a full rack of what appeared to be nun costumes, but one look at them revealed that even Misora would not even wear one of those. A rack labeled “Demihumans” looked promising to her, but another quick examination showed that they would not fit her very well. Those were obviously for more athletic girls, or at least those with bigger... assets.

Continuing her search for something that wouldn't embarrass her to wear, Natsumi pushed ahead between two very different racks of costumes. One rack was labeled “Wonderland costumes,” with quite a few costumes clearly displayed of the sort that would be worn by those wishing to be Alice in Wonderland. There were several other costumes on the rack though, and a quick glance confirmed there were a few rabbit, cat, and mouse costumes as well. The other rack was a bit more sinister in appearance, being labeled “Imps, Devils, and Demons.” Natsumi glanced at the costumes there and noted that most were little more than bits of leather and stockings with wings and horns. The only difference between “Devils” and “Demons” appeared to be size. Devils were much shorter, if the costume was any indication. Turning so that both racks were behind her, Natsumi wandered to the final rack labeled “Succubi costumes.”

Natsumi frowned as she glanced at the costumes there. There were a few that could be called 'modest,' but the majority of the costumes she looked at had less material than the costumes on the “Imps, Devils, and Demons” rack. Natsumi examined one of the more modest costumes. It appeared to be made similar to a coat worn with a tuxedo, with a full tail that reached past Natsumi's knees and purple wings and flexible tail so dark in color they appeared to be almost black attached to the lower back.

Try it on.

Natsumi searched the shop until she found the changing rooms. Conveniently enough, they were not too far from where she was. 'There are so many. It's as if they expect over a dozen girls in here at once,' she thought. 'But then, Mahora is someplace where that would be possible, especially this close to Halloween.'

Try it on.

'I'm not sure why I'm doing this. I won't look pretty in this at all,' she thought as she made her way to the changing room closest to her. Stepping inside, she closed the door and locked it. Looking at her figure in the mirror set in the door, she sighed before starting to remove her clothes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Deruella heard the bell ring as the door opened. Turning from the rack she was putting more costumes on, she spotted two figures entering. She smiled before asking, “How was your day?”

“Long and tiring,” said Rin.

“But ultimately rewarding,” finished Ran.

“Oh? How so?” Deruella asked.

Before Rin could respond, there was a scream of pleasure from the back of the store, followed by a surge of power. Both twins looked at Deruella with quizzical expressions on their faces. “Our Lord found someone that radiated magic, so she decided to recruit her. But that...” Deruella peered at the changing rooms, “Felt like she did more than just recruit her.”

“Well then, it is safe for...” started Rin.

“Us to drop our human images,” finished Ran. The air around both twins shimmered before revealing their normal forms. The residents of Mahora Academy as well as the town outside would refer to them as tanuki, but if any referred to the twins as such, they would be gently corrected by them.

Gyoubu Danuki are rather proud of their forms after all.

“I hope no one outside felt that power,” said Rin.

Ran nodded, “The Demon Lord used a lot just then.”

“Perhaps I did, but as you will soon see, it was entirely worth it,” came the old woman's voice. Seconds later, the Demon Lord stepped into view. Having cast aside her illusion for the moment, she strode forward proudly towards the trio of figures. When she was away from the various racks of costumes, she gestured grandly to the rear of the store, “May I present to you my first Lilim of this world?”

“Lilim?”

The Demon Lord smiled at Deruella, “Calm yourself my dear. I did say that I felt magic coming from Natsumi. Well, I somehow tapped into it as I was converting her to our cause. Come out and let everyone see you Natsumi-san.”

As everyone watched, a figure emerged from the changing room. Half hidden by the costume racks it slowly made its way to the front of the store. When it reached the area everyone was located, it spread its wings as if to show them off.

Deruella chuckled quietly as she beheld the much changed Natsumi. Natsumi was no longer a redhead as her hair had turned purple with white highlights. Her new wings and tail had lightened into a shade of purple just darker than her hair. But the biggest change was not immediately obvious. When Natsumi entered the store, she was her normal shy and reserved self. The Natsumi that stood proudly before them was calm and confident as her poise showed.

Natsumi smiled in a way unlike her former self. “I was Murakami Natsumi, now Lilim Natsumi.”

Deruella bowed before replying, “I am Lilim Deruella, Fourth Princess of the Demon Realm.”

Both Gyoubu Danukis bowed to Natsumi, “We are pleased to meet you.”

“I am Rin Yokota,” said Rin.

“And I am Ran Yokota,” said Ran.

“The Yokota Merchant Clan is quite influential in the realm we are from, but here the name is not as well-known. Rin and Ran wish to change that,” the Demon Lord said. “Hopefully between all of us, we will be able to create a market for them.”

“We suspect that Prisoner Fruit,” started Rin.

“And Holstaurus Milk will be popular,” finished Ran.

Natsumi giggled before asking, “Do both of you speak like that all the time?”

Both Gyoubu Danukis sighed before Rin said, “You really do not want to know how...”

“Many times we have been asked that today,” finished Ran.

The Demon Lord interrupted then, “As much as I would like to listen and learn from our newest Mamono, I am afraid I need to replenish my magic with my husband. Deruella, could you help train Natsumi for a while?”

Deruella grinned, eager to please her mother, “I believe I can do so for a few hours at least.”

“If that is the case, I better inform my roommate that I will be late getting back,” Natsumi said.

“Oh?” the Demon Lord asked.

Natsumi turned to the Demon Lord and smiled, “Do not worry, my Lord. I plan on telling her that I have a new job. Which is not really a lie.”

The Demon Lord appeared to be ready to nod her approval, but glanced upward at the ceiling suddenly. “Both of you, stop hiding and get down here.”

Two figures landed on the ground in front of Natsumi and remained in a kneeling position. “We would like to welcome you to the Demon Lord's family,” said one.

“Please use our services as you wish Lilim Natsumi,” the other said.

Natsumi appeared surprised, “Ninja?”

“Kunoichi to be precise. They have been very busy for the past few days looking into everything about this Academy. Something I shall have to train you about,” Deruella said.

“Ah. I see then. I suppose I should not be surprised as we have one of our own here,” Natsumi said.

“Oh really?”

And with that, the author will leave the “training” and “information sharing” to the reader's imagination.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chizuru was busy putting the final touches on dinner when Natsumi announced her return several hours later. As she went to the door to greet Natsumi, she noticed that Natsumi looked tired.

“My goodness. You look like you worked today,” Chizuru said.

Natsumi nodded, “Not so much work as training. Lots of training.”

“Well, where is this new job you have?”

“The new Altered Forms Costume Shop, Chizu-nee. You have to come with me tomorrow. You'll love it.”

Chizuru chuckled, “If you say so. Dinner is almost ready.”

“Then I will wash up as soon as I change out of my uniform.” Natsumi hummed to herself as Chizuru watched her go to the restroom to change. She shook her head and thought, 'She is certainly happy she found a job with something she likes.'

Once inside the restroom, Natsumi resumed her new form. “Oh, I can't wait to introduce everyone. I wonder what forms everyone will take?”