VN Project - What Do YOU Want? (Needs Artist)

Ooh, that's pretty good. I like the head and overall body shape, as well as the clothes.

Some things that could be changed are the limbs. They're quite thin! You should try to make each character's arms just a little thicker, especially around the upper arm, so they don't look starved. The shoulders also should be a smidge bigger, too. The legs are good around the thighs, but really taper off. Try to make them larger as well. Also, her boobs are a bit pointy. I'd assume that she wears at least a bra. A small chest makes sense for her, though. Lily in particular should be slightly more muscular looking than the other girls, but not too much.

Overall, it's looking good. I'll try to pull up some various visual novel character sprites to use as examples. For now, I'll leave this bunch of Saber sprites here:

Big image!◊

She's a very good example because she runs the whole gamut of emotions and poses, and it a standard female character model. I'll have more, for a "girlier" character style, later.

edited 27th Sep '10 4:22:11 PM by Five_X

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

^ great since i was worried about the character's look not so much the body , i will need some time to get about 5-6 poses to work with

and finally you seem to like saber , well i actually don't she's too perfect , but the sprites are actually very helpful , thanks lol

Saber's alright. I much prefer Rin and Sakura.

Anyways, here are some assorted sprites that would make some of the best examples, including clothing stuff:

Here!◊ Have some random images I pulled out of a hat!

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

Considering how this is an amatuer project, I suggest limiting the poses to three or so. Especially if you're going to use very high amounts of characters.

5+ is probably rather annoying to an artist who isn't even being paid, but i'm not sure about what razi actually wants so I won't make that assumption.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.

^ i counted saber's , she has about 12 poses with 4-5 variations

i'm gonna try to keep it at minimum , basic poses and will see how it goes

I've just added (unedited) backgrounds to the visual novel, as well as some cool transitions and one small special effect. It really adds to the atmosphere.

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

Any news on the art?

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

I'm wondering about what is your target audience? The Girl on Girl Is Hot crowd or..?

Partly the "girl on girl is hot", yes, but also people who like yuri that's done in a more "romantic" style, like Aoi Hana, Sasameki Koto, Maria Sama Ga Miteru, except this will have more obvious homosexuality. No subtext here, folks. Also, no All-Girls school. How I hate that setting so!

And by "fanservice" earlier, I don't mean any ecchi stuff. I mostly just mean that the girls will all be bishoujo and appealing.

The artist position is technically still open, depending on whether or not raziel0 gets any more done.

edited 7th Oct '10 12:06:28 AM by Five_X

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

Do you have any of the story written out?

EDIT: So I found that download link you posted earlier in the thread, and am reading it now, and I must say that I'm liking it so far!

EDIT 2: Well, that was a nice read, amusing too, but I'm interested in where you want to take this story after the heroine enters the school. I'm also interested in the characters, you posted some descriptions earlier in the thread, but they were very short and didn't say all that much about what kind of people all those girls are.

EDIT 3: I love messing around with this stuff.◊

edited 7th Oct '10 3:34:56 AM by fanty

Yeah, I'll try to write more soon. I just have a couple writing projects at the moment in addition to this one, and my computer will be gone tomorrow, getting a bigger harddrive.

I must say I like the edits to the background pictures, but unfortunately I was thinking of something more like Tsukihime or Higurashi in that regard.

Check◊ these◊ for how I'm thinking the backgrounds should end up. It'll probably be a mix of both.

Though then again, it might be a good idea to just draw the backgrounds out, based on the pictures, giving them a more artistic look, like most V Ns. It would help avoid dissonance between normal gameplay backgrounds and the animesque C Gs.

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

Eh, cheap filters. I think just leaving photos be as they are (with some colour correction, of course) would be the best. The sprites can be matched to fit the backgrounds. As for using the photos just as reference... I tried doing that yesterday but didn't get very far. There are just too many trees, it would take me a few hundred years to redraw it all with a mouse (I don't have a tablet). Katawa Shoujo has photo backgrounds and it doesn't look bad at all.

They kind of do fit as plain photos, but not in a way that works. I really like the look of the backgrounds of Tsukihime and Higurashi, for some reason. They just work.

It might be best just to draw backgrounds based on, but not completely copied from, the photos that are there already. Luckily the interior ones have much less stuff to draw. The other bonus to drawing the backgrounds is that we could get backgrounds of places that would be hard to get good pictures of. Plus, there's the fact that it looks better with CGs, and character sprites, drawn in an anime/manga style, look better on similarly drawn backgrounds. The photos don't have to be exactly replicated, remember.

Keeping with Higurashi, here's◊ one that should be a good idea for drawn backgrounds that are based on photos. Here's◊ the original of that shot. Notice the similarities and the differences? It works quite well.

edited 7th Oct '10 11:07:48 PM by Five_X

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

I think it's too much work to draw stuff like trees. I'd keep them as photos.

There won't be that many trees, really. Just about four backgrounds with any kind of real tree coverage.

edited 7th Oct '10 11:51:33 PM by Five_X

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

I don't think it looks that bad...◊

edited 8th Oct '10 5:38:22 AM by fanty

Personally I think it'd be jarring to just use the photos unedited. It may be "cheap filtering" but it won't look nearly as weird, I think.

Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember them, you are not alone.

Oh, random update: I got a bunch more photos. I'll try to post them soon, as well as new writing stuff. I just have one thing to type up, then I'll get to work.

Also, fanty, your art somehow reminds me of early Overdrive (creators of Edelweiss, Kira Kira and Dear Drops) style. Not too similar, but it's just oddly reminiscent.

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

Here's something for today (It's the school-idol girl).◊ Good? Bad? It'd be good to get some comments before I finish colouring.

EDIT: Also, about music, what if we use stuff licensed under Creative Commons? I found some really nice music licensed under the Attribution NonCommercial ShareAlike license. Now that I think about it, what license will this VN have? Because I also release all my stuff under this one.

edited 10th Oct '10 7:22:52 AM by fanty

The character looks a tad too plain for an idol-girl, but I'm not really sure how you would improve upon that based on your art style.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.

And there I thought she looked cute...◊. Ah well, it can be an Informed Attractiveness. I always was no good at drawing bishoujos.

EDIT: So one sprite for this girl◊ and one for that girl◊ are complete. Height comparison◊.

edited 10th Oct '10 8:27:23 AM by fanty

I haz picturez.

I still need to get some pictures of the gym and field.

I'm still wondering if raziel is going to post any more pictures. Though the school idol drawing is pretty good, fanty. Unfortunately still not bishoujo enough, though.

Oh, and this VN will likely be freeware, so Creative Commons and whatnot ahoy!

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

I suppose making her eyes more sparkly◊ won't solve the problem. I don't even know what to do.

edited 11th Oct '10 10:47:19 PM by fanty

Well, I can say that the second version is better. The eyes are improved, and the hair is less pastel-y and more realistic looking.

What's off about the characters are their faces. They look kinda unnatural, too stylized, perhaps. The clothes are pretty good on the school idol, but on the other girl they aren't so good. Try to use real-life clothes as examples when drawing that part.

This◊ picture you did is actually really good. It's a style I think could fit with this if you experiment with it. I find it odd that your art style changed so drastically.

I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.

I can't see how the new art style is less natural than the old one.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.