Output: SCP-294 dispensed a cup of liquid tungsten.
What did you expect? -Dr. Anomalocaris
Input: A cup of Professor Oak's Opening Monologue.
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Okay, I'll try it your way for once
output: a clear liquid with no smell. after ingesting, subject reported a feeling of knowledge about [DATA REDACTED] and similar subjects, as well as a desire to be called Elf Monster.
input: decaf mountain dew livewire with cane sugar replacing high fructose corn syrup
Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!
Fly Air Madeline
Output: SCP-294 dispensed an orange liquid which looked much like Mountain Dew Livewire, albeit with a very slightly different coloration due to the use of cane sugar instead of HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup). It was reported to be less sweet than the normal version, probably due to the level of cane sugar being exactly the same as the level of HFCS in normal versions of Mountain Dew Livewire. It has been found to be caffeine-free through testing.
Input: A cup of "I Can't Believe It's Not Magic!"
I don't see why this couldn't be authorized. I mean, it's not technically magic, after all. - Dr. Clef
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
Output: A silvery liquid, reminiscent of Mercury, and smelling "like what you would expect a wizard's lab to smell like". The D-Class who drank it described it as "like aluminum, with a hint of ginseng and good deal of ink". Said D-Class began being able to produce spheres of light, beams of light, torrents of fog, and can manifest one (1) Desert Ironwood staff. Effect have yet to wear off. Said D-Class has also jokingly referred to himself as "Zandor the Magnificent".
Good to see that even the D-Class can have a sense of humor. I wonder if this stuff ever wears off? -Dr. O'Malley
Input: One cup of Petyr Baelish's Plotting mixed with Tyrion Lannister's Wit.
edited 26th Jul '15 12:19:52 AM by OmegaShadowcry
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
Okay, I'll try it your way for once
output: a green liquid that smells of lavender and rose buds. chemical analysis shows trace amounts of [DATA EXPUNGED]. subjects exposed exhibit unpredictable psychological symptoms, unparalleled levels of linguistic variety, and a strange rash.
input: scp-009
Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!
Fly Air Madeline
Output: [EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]
Nobody's getting crystallized alive on my watch. -Dr. [REDACTED]
Input: A cup of Adventure Air
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Back after a long hiatus
Output: A cup of a clear, denser-than-air gas. When inhaled, the test subject (D-291) declared a desire to "have an adventure". No other effects, positive or negative, have been recorded.
Well that was underwhelming. - Agent Tojin
Input: An iPhone 5s.
edited 2nd Aug '15 12:32:53 PM by Tojin
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Complete Arse(nal)
Output: An empty cup with the words "It'll only work if King conducts the test" written on it.
Input A cup of Tang. '
edited 2nd Aug '15 2:46:42 PM by 434411423124222344
Why You Shouldn't Eat Meat
Fly Air Madeline
Result: SCP-294 dispensed a liquid with a similar coloration to beef stock. When asked to drink it, a scientist described the drink as "tangy".
Input: A cup of Imagination
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Back after a long hiatus
Output: A liquid with similar coloration to oil on water, except throughout the entire drink. The D-class who drank it [REDACTED] are still currently bouncing around the break room. The 2nd floor personnel break room is off limits until further notice. "A cup of Imagination" is not allowed to be requested ever again.
That was some crazy shit, man. Especially the [REDACTED]... I don't think my eyebrows will ever grow back.
Input: A cup of pedanticness.
edited 2nd Aug '15 8:30:19 PM by Tojin
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Tief girl with eartude
Output: A transparent cup composed of recyclable (in 67.34% of all recycling depots) hydrocarbon based material, which contained a cloudy (a transparent solution, but containing an opaque precipitate) liquid. All attempts to describe it (be it verbally, handwritten notes or official reports; standardised forms have been rendered useless, due to the lack of detail they offer) have caused the researcher (myself, Dr [REDACTED], [..and so on for 20 pages]
Input: A cup of jazz hands.
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Output: SCP-294 dispensed a teal-colored fluid. Upon consumption by a D-Class, the subject waved his hands upward, fingers extended outward, and exclaimed "Jazz hands!". For the next five hours the D-Class occasionally slid into ajar doors to exclaim "Jazz hands!" while performing the titular gesture.
After those five hours, he stopped, citing that it "wasn't funny anymore."
Input: A cup of the strongest adhesive ever.
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Back after a long hiatus
Output: A cup of what at first looked to be a solid, unmoving block of pinkish-gray matter. However, when the researcher who received it dipped the end of a fork into it, the fork was sucked into the liquid at blindingly fast speeds, and the liquid slowly grew, before beginning to overflow. The researcher had the foresight to place the cup on a nearby table, but the table began being sucked into the liquid as well. It is unknown how the cup was not absorbed.
In other news, the 2nd floor personnel break room is closed again.
Input: A cup of Agent Tojin's liquefied Spanish homework, about 5 years old.
This oughta be good. - Agent Tojin.
edited 3rd Aug '15 10:02:56 PM by Tojin
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Okay, I'll try it your way for once
output: a yellowish liquid which gives a perfect flashback of Agent Tojin's Spanish homework from five years ago. chemical composition shows 99 percent water, and 1 percent [REDACTED]
input: SCP-2008 spinal fluid
Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!
64th Successor
Output: SCP-2008's spinal fluid. Found to contain small traces of jet fuel.
Wait, what? - Dr. Ryans
Input: A cup of velocity.
edited 13th Aug '15 3:34:14 PM by Savaget1337
If you have a problem with Hokuto then tell it to me!
Back after a long hiatus
Output: A cup of density.
...The hell is this? - Agent Tojin
Input: The aforementioned cup of density.
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Output: SCP-294 dispensed a cup of water with its density drastically increased. The cup began to push its way through the floor before it was tipped over by Dr. [REDACTED]. Water poured out from the cup for approximately four hours, requiring an ongoing cleanup.
Input: A cup of swooce.
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
64th Successor
[[EXPIRIMENT HALTED]]
What part of no memes do you not understand? Do it again and you're on Keter Duty for life. - Dr. Ryans
Input: A cup of "Aw HELL yeah!".
edited 29th Aug '15 6:47:29 PM by Savaget1337
If you have a problem with Hokuto then tell it to me!
Fly Air Madeline
Output: SCP-294 dispensed a cup containing a sparkling gold-colored liquid. The D-class who drank it remarked that it tasted like "Motor oil spiked with ginger beer... but awesome". Subject was found to have abnormally good luck for the rest of the day. Most things that happened to him were met with the remark "Aw HELL yeah!".
Input: A cup of imaginative ways to become a parrot
edited 26th Aug '15 5:30:28 PM by lewattoo
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Back after a long hiatus
Output: A cup of red and green liquid that, when tested, turned out to be a liquefied parrot dyed bright red and green. Nobody volunteered to drink it, and as there were no D-class around at the time, the drink was thrown away. A faint squawking was heard from the trash can for approximately half an hour, but no other effects have been reported.
Input: A cup of nostalgia.
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Fly Air Madeline
Output: A cup containing a misty, silvery liquid was dispensed. The D-class who drank it said that it tasted like "something very pleasant that I vaguely remember from a while back". He then began a long reminiscence about his favorite discontinued flavor of potato chips.
Input: A cup of Copyright Strike
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Fly Air Madeline
bump?
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
64th Successor
Output: A black murky liquid was dispensed from SCP-294. The D-Class personnel ordered to drink it had reported that the liquid tasted like [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]. No unusual effects were seen until the D-Class had suddenly burst into flames while watching a bootleg movie smuggled in by another D-Class.
Input: A cup of calcium.
If you have a problem with Hokuto then tell it to me!
A cup of molten metal that burned through the cup and reacted violently when water was used to put out the resulting fire. Chemical extinguishers were successful in putting out the fires around the edges and the remaining metal cooled normally. SCP-294 was not damaged.
Input: A cup of haaaammmmbone!
RESULT: A cup of durian juice.
Admittedly, durians are kind of an acquired taste. - Dr. Victor
INPUT: A cup of wolfram.
Don't stop, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need-proceed, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need!