The Cracked Thread

What the hell happened to Photoplasty, anyway?

They made them triweekly or more, they introduced "fact-based" photoplasties, and Auntie Meme reared their ugly head.

I was a fan of today's gay myths article, as a not-straight person myself. I even found an amusing comment:

And a cool one as well:

edited 14th Oct '14 5:49:11 PM by majoraoftime

I really enjoyed this one and I want to see more of this dude's work:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-most-absurdly-expensive-versions-filthy-products_p2/

With all the Nickelback bashing that goes on in the site I'm surprised they never tackled Billy Talent, which is far, far worse.

I never got the Nickleback bashing, their music isn't gold or anything but they have a few decent songs and are by no means So Bad Its Horrible like everyone claims.

edited 18th Oct '14 6:07:13 PM by shoboni

Exactly the same thing I said.

My problem with Nickleback comes from how damn often their stuff is played on the radio. "Rockstar" has earned my ire.

On a related note: Seriously? Two ATB articles in the same week? And the first one using what seems similar to the "fake nerd" attitude in regards to Batman fandom.

edited 17th Oct '14 6:45:22 PM by ScarletCajun

He's right about them, though.

5 Weird Things I Learned Selling My Used Panties on Reddit

.........This got to be one of the most bizarre and oddly specific articles ever.

Maybe it's because I don't listen to rock/pop radio(I tend to have a modern country station playing) so I don't get the over-exposure.

I wonder if this photoplasty might just be the worst one ever.

I mean, the subject is interesting and all, but the quality of the gifs. Urgh.

6 Realities of Cooking Illegal Drugs (Not Seen on TV)

So much bitching about what the LOTR books say in the comments.

Who fail to realize that film is, in fact, not the books.

Canon's the same. And really, you'll be hard pressed to find a LOTR fan who doesn't roll their eyes every time that goddamned "plot hole" gets brought up.

I like that theory, although it also has a plot hole.

Can't Gandy just whistle up the eagles with a butterfly?

Perhaps overall, but there are some notable omissions (Tom Bombadil), and dialogue is different.

They didn't even hint that they likely wouldn't do it in the films.

So, for the films, it is a plot hole.

http://sarahcradit.wordpress.com/2013/01/11/dispelling-the-myth-why-the-eagles-of-middle-earth-are-not-gandalfs-personal-taxi/

Long story short no, he can't. The Eagles got their own agenda and it does not involve haulin' everybody's asses allover town. But let's pretend the eagles are Gandalf's pets and they have to do whatever he says. Sure, let's fly right smack dab into the middle of enemy territory where there's a whole assload of Orcs to have to get through. Surely they'll just step aside and let Frodo toss The Ring into the lava then fly back home for high fives and Elven Pizza. Except it totally wouldn't work that way at all. The Eye of Sauron up on top of the tower will spot Gandalf and Co. then every Orc in Mordor will shoot them down. In the end Sauron would get the ring back, The Orcs would get a nice delicious eagle dinner with all the trimmings, and Middle Earth would be boned. That's the Watsonian answer.

The Doylist answer: Because the movie would be too short and boring. Boring movies don't sell tickets or DV Ds. When a movie doesn't sell tickets or DV Ds it doesn't make money. The Studio gets angry when a movie doesn't make money. When the studio gets angry, asses will sting. I don't work in Hollywood but I've worked in enough other businesses to know when Da Boss ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

edited 20th Oct '14 11:28:20 PM by codytheheadlessboy

None of which is explained in the films.

Wouldn't be the first or only Adapation Induced Plothole.

This article went right from horror theme to incompetent cops.

I dunno, I find the idea that cops are under no legal obligation to protect you quite horrifying.

My headcanon is that Gandalf didn't want to deal with an airborne engagement with Sauron's own personal "air force", Nazgul riding Fell Beasts.

Being airborne gives Sauron direct line-of-sight on the Ringbearer, and there are fewer places to hide in midair when the Nazgul come for him.

I always figured one reason that the Eagles weren't used because it was simply too obvious a plan and if they're spotted the ring is very likely to end up right in the hands of the enemy and with a very short window to prevent them from delivering it right to Sauron. The dark forces are constantly outdone in the story because the heroes utilize the smallest and least important people with the most mundane methods. Powerful creatures like the Eagles or some leader of an army showing up at the Black Gates trying to use the ring is exactly what was expected, not a pair of puny halfings literally walking through the back door.

In terms of expected plans, it would be like an international plot to kill Hitler only involving sending a pair of teenagers from Andorra walking through France, Germany, and eventually sneaking their way into Berlin.

edited 21st Oct '14 2:40:43 PM by BorneAgain

Cracked wrote a backhanded article about the problems men face in society and how to fix them. It's credited to "Cracked Staff", but it smells mildly of Sargent or Pargin. It isn't the sort that inspires polite discussion.