Make your own Magic card!

Fair point. That's a good addition; assume it's there.

Card tax:

Necronomicon Faerie (3UB)
Creature - Faerie
3/3
Flying
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to an opponent, investigate.
Whenever you sacrifice a Clue token, you may pay {2}. If you do, put a 3/2 colourless Eldrazi Horror creature onto the battlefield under your control.

The inspiration came from discussion of a browser-based game called Cultist Simulator, in which you can find an endless number of Occult Scraps down the back of the sofa.

Great Ancient Coelacanth - 7UU
Creature - Fish
Islandwalk
When you control no Islands, sacrifice ~.
Other blue creatures you control get +1/+1 and have Islandwalk.
Other Fish you control get +1/+1.
7/7

Megamobile 8
Artifact Creature - Construct
Megamodular 3 (This enters the battlefield with three +1/+1 counters on it. When it dies, you may put two +1/+1 counters on target artifact creature for each +1/+1 counter on it.)
Megaffinity for artifacts (This spell costs 1 less to cast and enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter for each artifact you control)
Noncreature spells have Megastorm. (When you cast a spell with megastorm, copy it and put a +1/+1 counter on target creature for each spell played before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
0/0

(Kaladesh has no returning mechanics)

edited 25th Aug '16 11:10:21 AM by ImperialSunlight

Not Enchantment 2W
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, if your opponents control three or more creatures, sacrifice Not Enchantment and choose a dwarf if able. Destroy all other creatures.
"Enchantment?"

edited 29th Aug '16 9:50:52 PM by ImperialSunlight

Flash Summoning - 1U
Instant
You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield. If you do, return it to it's owner's hand unless you pay its mana cost reduced by up to {2}.

Master of the Unbreakable Fist - 3WUR
Creature - Monk
Megahaste (You may cast this spell during your declare attackers step. If you do, it enters the battlefield tapped and attacking.)
Megaprowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is its power.)
1/1

• Wumpus the Return 2GGG
• Creature - Beast
• Megatrample (when this creature is blocked by an opponent's creature, it deals damage equal to this creatures power minus that creature's toughness and then it deals damage equal to this creature's power minus that creature's power)
• Megabanding (Declare bands with beasts at the declaration of attackers or blockers or the activation of a spell or ability - for each creature you control with that declares creature type if damage would be dealt to that creature or it would be targeted by that spell or ability you choose which creatures among the attackers and blockers receive the damage or which creatures in play in the megabanding are targeted by that spell or ability, but the target cannot be an illegal target.)
• 4 / 4

On the subject of 'mega' versions of previous mechanics - Last Hope.

Last Hope - If you have exactly 1 life, [effect]

Protector of the Last Knell - 4
Artifact Creature - Golem
Defender
Last Hope - As long as you have exactly 1 life, ~ gets +4/+4, loses defender, and gains trample.
3/3
Whenever one of the townsfolk dies, the bells of the cathedral are rung. Today, those bells will remain silent.

Can I Play With Madness? 1BR
Enchantment
Each card you own that isn't on the battlefield has madness. The madness cost is equal to its mana cost.
He said, "you wanna know the truth son? Lord, I'll tell you the truth.
Your soul's gonna burn in a lake of fire!"

edited 1st Sep '16 7:34:10 PM by ImperialSunlight

Chariot of the Sun 3WW
Legendary Enchantment Artifact - Vehicle
Lifelink, Vigilance, First Strike
Gods may crew Chariot of the Sun even when they are not creatures. While they are not creatures, they contribute to crew based on what their base power would be if they were creatures.
Crew 5
6/5

edited 3rd Sep '16 12:51:41 PM by ImperialSunlight

I think the power to crew ratio might be a bit low, and I'm not sure Legendary Enchantment Artifact - Vehicle will fit on a type line, but this is nonetheless a cool idea.

I think the ratio might work in this case since the idea is mainly to let you attack with gods that aren't creatures yet.

One other thing: Generally speaking, is Vigilance on a vehicle worth it? You still need to tap something to block every time.

It's mostly there for flavor, since it's meant to be Heliod's chariot. I'm aware vigilance isn't great for vehicles, though you can use it to attack and block with it using two different creatures (or untappable ones), if you want to, for some reason. Eh. Perhaps unnecesary, especially since he gives it vigilance if it doesn't have it, anyway.

Edit: Except they have to be two 5/* goblins? You can't lash the reigns of Heliod's chariot with those tiny arms. ;)

You can, however, lash them with the "arms" of a manned Skysovereign. Vehicles are silly.

edited 3rd Sep '16 1:20:51 PM by ImperialSunlight

Tapping two 1/1 goblins to get a 6/5 on two different turns seems like a good deal.

It would need to be 5 1/1 goblins. Totally doable, and quite funny to picture.

Death Star - 12
Legendary Artifact - Vehicle
Flying, Indestructible
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a player, destroy up to two target lands that player controls.
When ~ is dealt damage by a Legendary Knight, sacrifice it.
Crew 12
7/7
Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!

edited 4th Sep '16 8:34:20 PM by kagescorpionakki

I propose that it have indestructible, and then the Legendary Knight ability makes it lose indestructible and grants the Knight deathtouch.

EDIT: Also, I just realized that it doesn't need to be crewed to use its land destruction ability. Maybe make it a combat damage effect?

edited 3rd Sep '16 11:47:01 PM by Durazno

Energy Phantasm - XBB
Creature - Aetherborn Elemental
When you cast Energy Phantasm, you get X energy counters.
Energy Phantasm's Power and Toughness are equal to the number of energy counters you have.
*/*

Obviously this could have a less open-ended mana cost, but I like the idea of an energy hydra.

edited 4th Sep '16 3:48:02 AM by Elfive

Diminishing Returns YR
Y is equal to the amount of E you have in your energy pool.
You gain EE.
"It's as efficient as I can make it, but even aether has limits."

Hobson's False Dragon (2RG)
Legendary Creature - Crocodile
3/3
When ~ enters the battlefield, put a Bag counter on ~. ~ is a Dragon as long as it has a Bag counter on it.
When ~ becomes the target of a spell or ability, remove a Bag counter from ~.
"That is clearly an alligator with a bag on its head."

Inspired by this tumblr post.

Fix'd the Death Star so now the land destruction is tied to attacking. Worked in indestructible too.

Thought Warden - U
Creature - Human Wizard
Whenever you draw a card, you may gain 1 life.
1/1
The path to eternity lies not in life, but in wisdom.

edited 4th Sep '16 8:42:25 PM by kagescorpionakki

Ah! The sacrifice clause is a much cleaner way to do it.

You do know "Legendary Knight" is a category that comprises just 12 creatures, right?

Presumably, there'd be at least a few more in the Death Star's set. It'd be relevant to limited, at least.

EDIT: Sudden inspiration.

Cogbrain 1
Artifact - Equipment
As long as ~ is equipped to a vehicle, that vehicle is an artifact creature.
Equip 2

You have to get the vehicle a crew to equip it in the first place, but then it works.

edited 5th Sep '16 12:38:12 PM by Durazno

Sudden Tarnishing 2R
Instant
Split Second
Choose one -
-Counter target activated ability of an artifact
-Destroy target artifact.