Make your own Magic card!

1RRGG, maybe?

Culthunter Wolf (2G)
Creature - Wolf
2/2
Whenever you discard a card, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
Elf-trained wolves are popular among sentinels for one reason: when the humans go mad, the wolves get mad.

You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.

If they hunt cultists, shouldn't they power up when an oppon - Oh. I was think of Rakdos and Hellbent, but I forgot Rakdos also makes opponents discard.

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

Do I have the wording right on this?

Imma Firin Mah Lazer RRR
Instant
Split second
As an extra cost to cast Imma Firin Mah Lazer, tap each untapped land you control.
Imma Firin Mah Lazer deals X damage to target creature or player, where X is equal to the number of lands tapped to pay its additional cost plus your devotion to red.

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

You could probably get away with "tapped in this way".

Also, there are more cults than just Rakdos, especially in a homebrew set heavy on cults and featuring Madness as a key mechanic.

edited 31st Aug '14 12:51:42 AM by CountDorku

You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.

Desert Mirage 1UU
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Land
Enchanted land loses all abilities. Instead, it has "T: Add 1 to your mana pool" and is an illusion.
From a distance, seeming salvation. From up close, an obvious delusion.

edited 31st Aug '14 12:12:27 PM by TheSpaceJawa

Two things: one, "target" is redundant in an "enchant", and two, I don't think lands can have the Illusion type, since it's a creature type. It could be a Tribal land, but they've retired Tribal.

You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.

Well, which one is it?

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...

x3 Third, we have been through this, Jawa.

EDIT: Also, since when has Blue had anything to do with deserts? :/ Blue gets water and air stuff. Stuff to do with heat is red.

edited 31st Aug '14 11:32:30 AM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

It's blue because it's an illusion. Illusions are pretty much always blue.

Speaking of which...

The Flickering Man - UUUU
Legendary Creature - Human Illusion
Flash
When you or an Illusion you control is targeted by a spell or ability, you may pay {U}. If you do, counter any ability of that Illusion that would cause it to be sacrificed, and you may choose new targets for that spell or ability.
3/3
Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there...

edited 31st Aug '14 12:20:53 PM by kagescorpionakki

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?

It's blue because 1) what he said and 2) Blue is the color of changing things - not unlike cards that change creatures from what they are to some miniscule, easy to deal with creature. That's what's happening here - blue is changing the land (or the connection to the land) from what it normally is to a dinky 'T for 1'.

edited 31st Aug '14 12:12:59 PM by TheSpaceJawa

It won't stop anything from being sacced, if that's what you're thinking. The "Sac if targeted" ability goes on the stack before anything else... Actually, I don't know for sure whether putting something on the stack on top of that ability will stop it resolving. :/ The ability is worded "When it becomes the target" and doesn't care whether or not the targeting whatsit resolves, I know that much.

Also, the desert thing is a flavor issue. A desert is basically the opposite of an island. I'm pretty sure Blue has at least one thing that floods a land, but I don't see how taking water away fits flavorwise.

EDIT: BTW, you forgot the P/T.

EDIT 2: ...Did not know that. :| Figured it'd be in Red.

edited 31st Aug '14 12:23:50 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

As any Nobilis player will tell you, controlling something gives you the power to take it away as well as bestow it. Dehydration is blue.

You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.

Forgot that was how that worked. Fixed. Hopefully that wording makes sense.

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?

Wouldn't make sense in Red. Red would either steal the land (and even then it would be temporary) or simply blow it up.

Red isn't into changing other peoples stuff to make things more difficult; Red is into blowing up other peoples stuff to make things more difficult for them.

Unexpected Inquisitors (2RW)
Creature - Human Cleric
Flash, first strike
Cast ~ only during an opponent's turn.
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a creature or player, return it to its owner's hand.
3/3
Their chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear— their two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency— their three weapons are...

Do you return the Inquisitors or the creature dealt damage to its owner's hand?

The inquisitors. You can't very well return a player to their own hand, can you?

BUT HOW? - 3U
Sorcery
Return target player to his or her hand.
Just sit on your hand or something.

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?

Wheel of Misfortune - R
Sorcery
Return target hand to its player.
"Miss Pauling! Pyro cut off my hand."
- the Soldier

The Art of the Cards 2UR
Sorcery
Target player draws a new hand. (You provide any necessary art supplies.)

Bioshock spoiler in the flavor text.

Control Phrase (2UUR)
Instant — Trap
If a Legendary Creature is attacking, you may pay (UR) rather than play ~'s mana cost.
Remove target attacking creature from combat. It deals damage to its controller equal to its power.
"Would you kindly..."

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...

This is worded correctly enough, right? Should the reminder text just be the rules text?

Sudden Silence 2U
Instant
Sudden Silence does not resolve until the end of the current phase. (Noninstant cards without flash can't be cast until the next main phase.)
...

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

That is so unintuitive. I would axe the "does not resolve" and make the reminder text the rules text.

Maybe it's a bit clunky, but that is a really creative design idea.