There's a man, friend of the family, who is well-known at church and in social circles for causing actual physical injury
with his puns. Carl Bower, these are for you.
P1: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
P2: It's my bow of Eros.
And my second favorite Shaggy Dog Story:
Two strings decide to go out for a night on the town. They bum around for a little bit, catch a cab to the bar and hop inside. They get up on barstools and chat for a little bit while the bartender attends to other customers. Finally, the bartender turns to them. "What'll you boys hav- wait a minute. Are you two strings?" he asks. "Yeah, we're strings" one of the strings says. "Get the hell out!" the bartender shouts, "We don't serve strings in here!" One of the strings draws himself up, indignant, "Whaddaya mean you don't serve strings? You got a problem with us!?" The other string turns nervously to his friend and says, "Come on, now, let's just go. We don't want his liquor anyway..."
So they leave the bar and head across the street. Unfortunately, a very similar scene plays out in the next bar. Dejected, sitting on the curb, the strings start to complain to each other, "Man, what a waste of time and money. I really wish we had just stayed home and watched a movie or something." The other string doesn't respond, lost in thought. Finally, he says, "You know what? I'm going to get us some drinks." Perplexed, the other string asks, "How?" Voice filled with determination, his friend replies "Just watch me."
So the resourceful string jumps into the gutter and starts rolling around. He gets soaking wet, dirty and starts to come apart at the ends, and he becomes somewhat twisted and tangled. His friend watches on, very confused. The dirty, tangled string rolls himself into the nearest bar and hops up on a barstool. The bartender gives him a long, hard look, and finally asks, "You're not a string, are you?" The tangled string replies, "No...
(wait for it...)
I'm a frayed knot.
(If you don't get it, try saying that phrase out loud.)
My most favorite Shaggy Dog Story takes about six or seven solid minutes to tell, and is several pages long. Maybe I'll get around to adding it when I'm more inclined to do so.
edited 18th Jan '10 6:07:40 AM by Shrikesnest
"Pale Ebenezer thought it wrong to fight,
but Roaring Bill (who killed him) thought it right."
- Hillaire Belloc, The Pacifist