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TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#1: Apr 3rd 2015 at 7:34:35 PM

Recently I saw a magnificent ballet adaptation of Thomas Mann's Death in Venice, which impressed me very dearly. (A few years ago I starred in a play adapting The Magic Mountain).

I bought a collection of short stories of his, which included Death In Venice, and started reading them in preparation for writing my own adaptation to another format.

I just read Little Herr Friedemann. With growing horror and yet unbearable fascination. Tried to put it down, but I just couldn't sleep, it was just hitting so close to home, and the sheer horror of it.

And then I finished it.

And I wept.

It's like the story was telling me, "all of your insecurities, your weaknesses, your fears, which you've worked so hard to patch, mend, even overcome... it's all pointless. One day you'll meet someone unique. It will not be a good thing. It will just unmask the lie that is your happiness. Your life is worthless, your desperate efforts aren't even beautiful, they barely rate 'cute'. You, who are different, who doesn't quite fit no matter how hard he tries, might as well die. The greatest joy in life, that of being accepted and loved for who you are... you'll never have it. Ever."

Or, as the girl in XKCD so eloquently said...

"You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you are. The thing standing in the way of your dreams... is that the person having them is you."

Hopefully, soon sleep will overpower existential horror, and I'll look back and say "How silly of me."

Right now, though, I just want to curl up in a corner and indulge in fungiculture.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
MarryHobbit1 Since: Aug, 2015
#2: Sep 4th 2015 at 12:29:18 AM

To be honest I had a tough time reading Thomas Mann at university. I even ordered my term paper at writemytermpapernow.com. However, I came to the point that I should reconsider my attitude and give it another chance. I read it in German and did not finish, so maybe if I try reading Buddenbrooks in English I will enjoy it, as it will be easier for understanding.

TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#3: Sep 4th 2015 at 1:12:28 AM

Here's a very good translation. It reads very fluently.

God, I hate that man. He's like a Hideaki Anno, but snobbish and bourgeois to a fault.

edited 4th Sep '15 1:13:17 AM by TheHandle

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
eroock Since: Sep, 2012
#4: Jun 4th 2017 at 9:37:37 AM

I also wept reading the last page of Little Herr Friedemann. Thanks for the suggestion.

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