Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Yup. I'm about forty-odd pages into the book, and the main character, Alizabeth 'Beta' Bequin, has revealed through the course of her narration that she's both a Blank (and most likely the titular Pariah), and that she's being trained as a spy by a mysterious place called the Maze Undue, which is ostensibly run by some secret fourth Ordo of the Inquisition. At the moment, she's talking about a 'function' (what the students of the Maze Undue call it when they're sent out pretending to be various people for various purposes) where she pretends to be the envoy of an offworld collector interested in investing in an old curio shop. This place has all kinds of stuff for sale, and there's one thing here that I'm certain would be of interest to you:
'Toys?' I asked.
He nodded.
'Playthings. Models made for a child's amusement.'
'They are of weapon rockets? Missiles?'
'Rockets,' he said. 'For spaceflight. Don't look so surprised, Mamzel Raeside. The first steps from Terra were said to have been taken using chemical rockets.'
'I am aware of history, sir, even though the detail of the oldest eras is lost in the mists. But really? Vehicles this crude?'
He smiled again.
'I do not think they ever flew,' he said. 'I think these are simplified models of possible machines. A primitive idea of flight. But I show them to you because of their age. Your employer is very fond of the oldest things.'
'How old?' I asked.
'It can only be estimated, he said. 'They pre-date the ages of Strife and Technology. I think they come from the Pre-System Age, from the first millennium of the Age of Terra.'
'What? Thirty-eight or thirty-nine thousand years ago?'
'Perhaps. Vessels like this first took our species into the unknown,' he said. 'They first took us Blackwards. The family name behind this business comes from that outward urge.'
'I think my employer will appreciate these,' I said. 'What price do you ask?'
'I will write it down,' he said.
'And the markings on the side of the rocket ships,' I asked. 'The letters in red? What does C.C.C.P. mean?'
'No one knows,' he said. 'No one remembers any more.'
Fear me
If they knew what it stood for, pretty sure they'd instantly melt them for extreme heresy. Atheist collectivists wouldn't take kindly to Enormous E.
Crazed Lawrencian
— nudges that concern aside, FEELS—
That's a rather melancholy scene, methinks. Yuri Gagarin, Sputnik, the mapping of Luna... The people who first put men, animals, and machines in space, and all that's left to remember that they started it all are some dusty toys and a mute, crippled man.
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Crazed Lawrencian
I'm hooooome.
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
I'm druuuuuuunk.
Crazed Lawrencian
HOW FAR OFF YER ARSE?
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Chug! Chug! Chu- *BLAM*
When in deadly danger, When beset by doubt, Run in little circles, Wave your arms and shout.
far enough to dance down the hallway to a song I don't even know.
Fear me
At least your sense of balance and leg coordination aren't impaired, which I am informed is one of the first things to go.
-
... And a game has just told me to get fucked: Right before the final boss, a monster uses a random-effect move. What effect does it have? Why to reduce all MP to 0, of course! In a game where the only reliable method of MP recovery is the Trauma Inn! I will beat you into the ground for this, game.
edited 5th Jul '13 2:32:37 AM by Chabal2
Eh heh hehhehehehahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
When in deadly danger, When beset by doubt, Run in little circles, Wave your arms and shout.
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Now why is it that as soon as I saw (what I assume to be) Toad and those Shyguy Jawas, this song immediately popped into my head?
Crazed Lawrencian
Your Muppet Show fu must be stronger than mine. : P
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Fear me
Warboss Bulblin down (fat lot of good his bosspole did him), proud to say that for the first time ever, I beat him without seeing the bridge from underneath. While I failed to complete the Goron mines with zero falls in the lava, I did take no damage fighting the shadow and the flame under Moria Mr. T Fyrus.
Crazed Lawrencian
—whistles Spider-Man theme—
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Fear me
Spider-squig, spider-squig
Biggest 'n' leggiest of all da squigz
Eats an ork
Any size
Kroots and 'umies
Or carrion flies
Look out, 'ere comes da spider-squiiiiiiiiig!
-
Today on Cracked
: The Insanity Offense, Khorne protects from Slaanesh, and Slenderspider.
-
... Yes, Trogg. Yes they are.
Yay! Trogg am happy he am guessed right.
edited 6th Jul '13 5:22:45 AM by Chabal2
Crazed Lawrencian
Orkoid.
Suddenly, Chabal, I have a greater understanding of your fervour. That was magnificent, and funny in places too.
Whoa shit. On remembering one of the Gaunt's Ghosts books, the Tanith really were incredibly goddamn badass.
Like, eradicate a Chaos cultist force outnumbering them 1000 to 1 with only a single casualty badass.
Granted, in this particular fight they had Eldar providing support and causing them to hallucinate that they were actually fighting on their dying homeworld, but point still stands. Said Eldar even left peacefully too, with one Inquisitor Lilith going with them for mysterious reasons.
And of course, the Imperium dismisses their insane victory as a thing of complete fiction - after all, only one casualty when statistics state that they should have been eradicated doesn't seem very legit.
edited 6th Jul '13 4:37:01 PM by l3wt
When in deadly danger, When beset by doubt, Run in little circles, Wave your arms and shout.
Fear me
So in the Go G thread this generator was brought to my attention. Let's see what happens when we ask about some actual girls...
And that's it for my knowledge of Reality Warping women in anime. Now, onwards to actual Magical Girls!
-
And now, let us test this generator with the ultimate anti-Magical Girl.
Crazed Lawrencian
Forget not Byakuren, Sedna, or Tenshi.
Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Fear me
Sedna is a heroic magical girl who sucks and eats cake!
Tenshi is a tsundere magical girl who is loved and is a hero! Hinanawi Tenshi is a badass magical girl who is evil and regrets it! Tenshi Hinanawi is a tsundere magical girl who is naive and is a hero!
Meh. Not much to go on there.
Lord of Shadows
Try the Chaos Gods.
To be seen, stand up To be heard, speak up To be appreciated, shut up
Fear me
Let us play a little game... Guess which name belongs to which Ruinous Power.
is a tsundere magical girl who loves it and is killed!
is a tsundere magical girl who is naive and regrets it!
is a shy magical girl who is evil and eats cake!
is a fake magical girl who is evil and eats cake!
And then try these other divinities.
is a badass magical girl who fails and must live! (hint: this one is accurate)
is a moe magical girl who is badass and eats cake!
is a strong magical girl who is evil and is killed! (hint: this one is accurate)
is a fake magical girl who is evil and must live!
is a tsundere magical girl who is naive and cries a lot!
is a strong magical girl who is evil and cries a lot! (hint: this one is halfway accurate)
is a strong magical girl who is loved and must live!
I was thinking some kind of crime-solving series.