Let's Play Pokemon Quartz!

Ahhhh, Rom Hacks. Truly the ability to showcase a persons artistic skill by taking another game and making it their own adventure! There's plenty of creativity to be had here. There are the goods, the bads...

And somewhere in between we have Pokemon Quartz.

Yes, Pokemon Quartz, as I'm sure most of you know from the legendary Let's Play done by Zorak. However, the torture she went through was....somewhat....addicting, if you will. And being a sucker for Pokemon and Rom hacks in general, I figured...eh...why not.

So, come with me folks, as we text go through a rather infamous Rom Hack, in the form of...

Pokemon Quartz.

''Part 1: Wellcome to Breeze Town!

Okay, so skipping opening scenes, we're gonna cut right into the action.

So now we're in total darkness when from the darkness comes....Tim Buckley?

Man: Hullo! We're about to arrive...OK!

...Mmkay?

Man: Soon we'll be in BREEZE TOWN!

Oh, how very genertic.

Man: I am Prof. Baro, I was your friend since we lived in Kanto.

Like Foxy said, I don't even know you. Piss off.

Prof. Baro: You'll see new pokemon in Corna.

Corna? Isn't that a Beer?

And suddenly a new Pokemon pops out! A yellow and green pig that looks like it caught a case of the Ugly Cute. It's a Plug-Oink, which I think is the mascot for this game, the amount of times they're mentioned.

Prof. Baro: Like this funky PLUG-OINK! It's So cool

So cool in fact that you don't need to put punctuation when discusing it.

Prof. Baro: People often live with Pokemon, y'know...Sometimes they are lovely pets, but sometimes we use them for Battle!

...Noooooo.

Prof. Baro: But hey, always between friends! You should never get angry, okay?

I would be implied to agree with you if it wasn't for every kid and they're grandmother who felt the urge to attack me with Pokemon the second I come within eyesight.

Prof. Baro: There are some mysteries around Pokemon...Peace, Chaos, Order.

Aren't Peace and Order the same thing in a sense?

Prof. Baro: They are things that are around uncovered pokemon.

Mmm, tasty tasty Spanglish.

Prof. Baro: Oh! I shouldn't forget! I wanted to give you a Pokemon In Breeze...Well, I'll tell you later. Well...I...

And then he just disappears. I'm under the assumption that he's either in league with The Darkness or a Ninja of some sort. That, however, doesn't excuse him for his poor manners.

And suddenly I look like a guy from Tengen Toggan Gurren Lagann. So my stats are...

Boy. Michael (Oh I'm sure no one else thought of using THEIR name in a Pokemon game, GOD I'm witty! :D))

And suddenly Baro is back again! Stop doing that dude!

Prof. Baro: The truck stopped...that means we've arrived in Breeze Town!

Or the truck could be out of gas, or we could have hit a flat tire, or we're hopelessly lost. It doesn't mean we've reached the destination. God I'm so optimistic.

Prof. Baro: Let's go!

And suddenly he's gone.

Disembodied Voice: Hey you.

OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT.

Voice: When arrive home, help your mother with the moving.

Fix your grammar first and I'll consider it.

Voice: Then look for me in my lab. Oh! Maybe I'm not in...

Then don't tell me to look for you in your lab if you're not in you fruit!

Voice: I'm hearing from here an interesting Pokemon cry! Ja, ja!

...What?

Voice: Okay, so are you ready, Uh?

OH god, you're Tommy Wiseu?!

Voice: New Pokemon are waiting for you!

Then, like most P Okemon games, I'm suddenly shrunken down into a tiny pixalated form! How wonderful. Now I'm in the back of a van with what I hope is my mother.

So I turn to talk to the person and..

Prof. Baro: Hey Michael! Go home now. I have to take some things and take them and take them to the lab.

I'll have to go home and then go home, how's that for redundancy?! Also...why the HELL were you in the moving van with me and not my mother?! Oh god Foxy was right, everyone IS a pervert!

So after slowly walking out of the van, my mind clouded of the potenntial horror that transpired in that tight, enclosed area (He's a Memetic Molester for a reason, people!), and run into my mother!

Mom: Michael! So at last you arrived!

I don't even know if that's the right way to say that mom...Damn the grammar nazi in me! Will you never leave?!

Mom: How's Baro? Oh do go on.

Wait, don't you wanna know how Baro is? NOt like I care. No sir-ee.

Mom: Oh, I forgot. Wellcome...to Breeze Town!

(Grammar Nazi: Welcome should only have to L in it.)

Me: Shut up, Grammar Nazi me.

Well, I think that's good enough for me! Even as a boy, Baro will molest you, and I've arrived in Breeze Town! What journey's will I encounter amongst thew new land of Corona? Cause lord knows by the end, I may have to drink my troubles away...

edited 17th Nov '10 12:02:31 PM by MichaelDj54

O_O

...Good luck. I don't have this mod on my emulator, and I'm not sure if I want it after reading Red Chocobo's LP of it. You are a far braver man than me.

Also, get the water starter. Just because.

This is funnier than a fried chicken.

Hooray! I'm funnier than fried Poultry!

Part 2: Let's meet the people!

Mom: Isn't it a peaceful and quiet place? The birds sing and it looks as if the breeze says "live here!"

Thankfully my mom doesn't speak breeze, I think the breeze is saying "RUN RUN YOU FOOL RUN"

Mom: Well, wouldn't you like to see our new house?

I'm going to be leaving the second I get a pokemon, what's the point?

Mom: The workers are tiding up a bit. Michael, you're welcome to your new home.

I'm welcome to use my own home? :D Oh how generous of you mom.

Mom: Hey don't look at me like that! Our creator is spanish, so is hard to rhyme in english!

....Wow. Well, the fourth wall surely didn't last long now did it?!

Mom: Look at these workers. They're like these pokemon...KIMBOXOS!

....What?

Mom: They're doing all the work!

Mom, seriously, what's a Kimboxos?

Mom: Go to your room and set the clock, pliz.

Stop avoiding my question god dammit. D:<

So I go up to my room, but I realize I wanna see what the workers have to say about this situation! So I go back downstairs and get intercepted by mom.

Mom: C'mon, it's the only I am telling to do!

....What.

So after forcing me back into my room, I suppose I should go and set my clock...FUCKING EXTREME!!! Afterwards, mom comes back in.

Mom: have you finished, honey?

Yes mom, since apparently the very fabric of reality focuses entirely on this clock being correct.

Mom: Check the PC, the Notebook....ETC.

Since I have so much else to look at, huh? See, this is why kids leave at 10 mom, they don't have shit to do in their rooms. ><

Mom: I'm going to watch TV in a bit. We installed the POKEWIRE TV. He, he, he... It is only a whim...but it's cheap for having 360.

Especially since shit now a days has it much cheaper for double that. Just sayin'.

Mom So I'll be upstairs, kay?

Wait, aren't I upstairs? O: All of my Pokemon games have been in the basement this whole time?!

So I check the TV for shits and giggles and surprise surprise, there's nothing on TV now a days, in real life and in Pokemon games! There's only a Jersey Shore marathon going on, but I'll eat my shades before I watch that.

So then I check my Notebook, which I'm very concerned as to why someone wrote instructions to a game instead of a regular journal notebook, but eh, whatcha gonna do. Also, apparently the rest of the Notebook is too personal to read. MY notebook is too personal to read. MY Notebook is too personal.

So I turn on the PC for shits and giggles and notice a potion in the items. So I'll just kindly take that...

Well, that's done, so I guess I'll go downstairs, check out the town, see the occupan-

Mom: Michael! Michael! Baro's on TV! Look at this!

God dammit.

Mom: He has some problems...

Too easy.

Mom What would it be this time?

TV: ACTION NEWS! There are a lot of Pokemon attacking the local celebrity, Baro!

"That's right, keep recording as his face is torn off my rabid Pokemon! Pulizter prize, here I come!"

Mom: Oh....Poor Baro...Well, he can defend himself. Or maybe he can't.

"The remainder of the poor mans face scattered all over the place..."

Mom: OK Go help him.

Me?! Why me?! There's a TV crew out there, even they're not THAT useless?!...Right?

Mom: B Ut you should askt he neighbors for help. They moved in before us...They're the Kabuchis

TO THE KABUCHIS! *Batman music*

So upon walking into the house without knocking or ringing the doorbell, I'm greeted by a woman.

Woman: Hello! Who are you?

Well I'm-

Woman: Michael? Oh, you moved today too!

Psychic woman!

Woman: I am Ms. Kabuchi. Would you like to know my kid?

I'm wary of meeting people in this region, all ready. Damn you Baro setting my expectations so low.

Woman: uh? WHAT?! Baro is on trouble!

I'd like to see someone be on top of trouble personally.

Ms. Kabuchi: Mmm...Let me think...I know! My kid has skates! So can run to pink town and tell Officer Jenni

Ah, the Black Sheep of the Jenny line, eh?

Ms. Kabuchi: My kid is Downstairs, Michael.

Is it just customary for parents to shove their kids down the stairs now a days?

So I go downstairs and I approached a blonde haired girl...why does she look familiar...

Girl: Dear Diary, A good-looking boy moved too and...

Yeah, I remember when I used to monolouge out my diary entries as I wrote them. I...had to go away for a while...

Girl: Ahh! you frightened me!

Hey you're no looking yourself, lady. >:(

Girl: And you are? Michael? P-Pleased to m-meet you, I am...I am...Ran...

And I raaaaan, I ran so far awaaaaaay....Yeah get ready to be the butt of many a joke, lady.

Michael: RAN, are you allright? you are as red as a beetroot!

I didn't say that! D:

Ran: So what are you doing here? Oh! That happened to Baro! Well then I have to go to Pink Town and tell Officer Jenni now! I can go fast with my skates! But I actually think a strong boy like you could do better...

Michael 2: Pardon?

Yeah, what the fuck?

Ran: Ah! I was just thinking aloud...Well I have to go right now...kisses and goobye! Ah! I shouldn't have said that. Sorry...I...have to...go...

...I'm...just gonna go...

So...trying to run away from that...moment, I try to leave the town and get stopped by some little punk kid. Dammit. Can I not just do my own thing?!

Kid: Baro frightened away a lot of the Sever...what should I do now? Should I go there? Go and help Prof. Baro! Please!

...Gaaah, find, since everyone else in this palce is fucking useless.

Prof. Baro: Jodeeeeeer!

Bwuuuuh?

We then run over to see Prof. Baro getting chased around by the biggest ball of lint in the world. For extra comedic effect, play Yakety Sax while viewing this. :D

Prof. Baro: Michael! Thanks for coming! Help me Pliz! Use a Pokeball from my bag, tu!!

I shoudl let you rot for using such horrible grammar, but...meh, I suppose I should.

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE GAME EVERYONE'S BEEN WAITING FOR FOLKS! IT'S TIME TO...PICK!

THAT!

STARTER!

That's right, the game where the viewer decides on the Pokemon I choose for my adventure! The pokemon I grow up with, share adventures with, and grow stronger with! Will it be...

Seegg?!◊

Firegg?!◊

OR

Aquegg!?◊

...Well this sure instills confidence, doesn't it?

Suggestions, anyone?

Aquegg. Like I said.

Yeah, try Aquegg.