Gallant and Goofus

When Goofus tries to speak English, his nose bleeds. Literally.^note "Nosebleed" is a Filipino expression for those who can't speak English well.

Goofus killed all his friends.

Gallant looks up tutorials to help him in his artistic talents.

edited 16th Aug '16 8:30:21 PM by TroperNo9001

Goofus takes How To Basic's videos at face value and follows the "advice" to the letter.

He won first place at a modern art show.

Gallant captures muggers and pickpockets whenever he comes across them.

Goofus threatens to put 'em in jail unless they fork over 90% of the spoils. (85% if he's feeling benevolent)

Gallant opens the door for the ladies passing through.

Goofus waits for ladies to approach, then slams the door in their faces.

Gallant always never uses his phone when doing so would be impolite.

Goofus takes selfies at a funeral.

Gallant knows how to respect boundaries and can understand if more are brought up.

Goofus will hug you any time, anywhere. Without wearing pants.

Gallant knows better than to try to invoke I Know Mortal Kombat IRL.

Goofus charges into mob lairs "because some guy in a video game I play does it."

Gallant selflessly takes care of local orphans.

Goofus takes care of local orphans too. With a shotgun.

Gallant doesn't count his chickens before they hatch.

Goofus overestimates how much he's going to get and tries to find and murder the person he thinks is responsible if he doesn't.

Gallant's company still produces CRTs for specialized uses.

Goofus forces people to upgrade there televisions by smashing them with a baseball bat.

Gallant enjoys making clever connections with pop and juice, and liquor if he is old enough.

Goofus tries mixing booze with cleaning fluid, and is currently in the hospital.

Gallant writes good fanfics.

Goofus writes fanfics so awful people go mad reading them.

Gallant volunteers regularly.

Goofus cooks lethal concoctions in soup kitchens. On purpose.

Gallant loves setting up workshops in the local neighborhood.

Goofus loves setting up sweatshops.

Gallant creates animated movies that make Pixar jealous.

Goofus is head of Video Brinquedo.

Gallant makes perfectly Al Dente pasta and a tasty sauce with basil, mushrooms and vodka.

Goofus puts iron filings and used car oil in his pasta.

Gallant is a role model for all the children in his town, and regularly donates to childcare centres.

Goofus is the founding leader of a notorious biker gang that recruits minors.

Gallant flushes the toilet after using the public bathroom.

Goofus doesn't flush and leaves the seat up.

Gallant is considerate of the feelings of others.

Goofus kicks 'em when they're down.

Gallant helps a little old lady carry her groceries to her car.

Goofus steals the old lady's groceries.

Gallant protects the weak from the strong.

Goofus trips the weak over and steals from them.

Gallant is a By-the-Book Cop.

Goofus is a loose cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules.

Gallant simply ignores fandoms and works he personally doesn't care for.

Goofus is constantly engaged in Ship-to-Ship Combat.

Gallant stays away from gamma radiation.

Goofus is Red Hulk.

Gallant is a king among men.

Goofus is the kind of guy even the geeks and losers pick on.

Gallant dubs anime well, making sure to respect Japanese culture and properly convey emotion.