Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. Too bad she's a yandere who kills everyone even vaguely close to you.

I wish people would tone down on the Undertale references.

Granted, the fankids throw a huge fit about the lack of references.

I wish to buy some things in the steam sale.

It's a knockoff website and your computer is wrecked by viruses.

I wish that I could undo the deaths of beloved public figures.

Granted. They inevitably mess up your life alive more than if they were dead.

I wish I knew how to surf.

Granted, you get eaten by a shark on your first day on the waves.

I wish I was a cyborg.

Granted, it eats your soul.

I wish I felt good.

You got some drugs. Then they wore off.

I wish for this wish to be cancelled.

Granted. You cease to exist. If you didn't exist, how could you make the wish in the first place?

I wish for a flying car.

Granted. Someone drops your car out of a plane in lower Earth orbit. Flying is just falling with style.

I wish.

edited 3rd Jul '16 5:04:33 PM by Wixelt

No you dont.

I wish for a time turner.

Granted, it malfunctions and send you back to 2000BCE.

I wish to get this stuff done.

It's done, but you're way past your due date.

I wish the Youtube Recommendations was gone. Or at least less shitty.

Granted. Youtube is shut down by Google. There can't be Recommendations if the site no longer exists.

I wish for something resembling orange juice (or whatever Tang is, i'm not sure).

You get a highly toxic liquid that just happens to resemble orange juice or Tang.

I wish for a pizza cookie.

You get a cross between a pizza and a cookie. Those ingredients weren't meant to go together in that way, though, so you get food poisoning immediately after the first bite.

I wish it was raining angels (what kind from what franchise is up to you).

Granted, one hits and crushes your head.

I wish for a donut.

Granted. I drive a car round and round in circles on your freshly trimmed front lawn.

I wish I could do literally anything, no matter how reality breaking or paradox inducing it is, with any obvious repercussions within my lifetime.

There are no repercussions within your lifetime because you die immediately. And then your paradox destroys the world

I wish I was at the beach right now

edited 4th Jul '16 3:33:24 PM by Cailleach

Granted, you are now trapped on a beautiful desert island in the middle of the Pacific.

I wish I had a superpower.

Granted. You have the power to spontaneously combust. But for obvious reasons, you can only use it once.

I wish I wasn't on fire anymore.

granted, theres nothing left of you to burn

i wish this room was soundproof

Granted. Now no one can hear your screams for help when a serial killer kills you

I wish I had the power to control electricity, but without harming myself

Granted, you are now a power line.

I wish I could sleep for two straight days.

Granted. You fall into a coma. The MRI and CAT scans show moderate to serious brain damage

I wish you could use different fonts on these fora

Granted. The only other choice is comic sans.

I wish for DEATH BATTLE! to never do a rematch of Goku vs. Superman.