Corrupt-a-wish.

(bump)

Granted, but you can only speak in nyas.

I wish I could write a really good fanfic.

Granted, someone murders you out of jealousy.

I wish for 2 pizzas with stuffed crust.

Granted, but it becomes your career, and a publishing company sign you up for a 65-book deal. Good luck.
Granted. They're awful.
I wish people would like Sonic 3 D Blast.

edited 3rd Sep '15 8:09:33 AM by TheKaBlammer

Granted. They become rabid fanboys and somehow make the Sonic fandom look even worse.

I wish was The Docakiin.

Granted, but I don't know what that is, so my idea would be you turning into an Eldritch Abomination Straight Outta Compton.

I wish that Teen Titans Go was cancelled.

Granted, but they replace it with a terrible reboot of Codename Kids Next Door of a similar nature.

I wish I had a longer weekend.

edited 3rd Sep '15 12:04:13 PM by StarBee

Granted, but it's Groundhog Day all over again.

I wish I was a Catboy that could speak English and Japanese.

Granted, but you end up sounding like a stereotypical anime weeaboo.

I wish i could remember to complete my posts before submitting them.

Granted. Now if you want to leave some information out, like spoilers details of your character's backstory, you can't.

I wish I could actually learn a programming language.

Granted, it's BASIC, which is absolutely useless by modern standards, unless you can get your hands on a Tandy computer.

I wish that Mouse Fan Club made sense.

Granted, but now nothing else does.

I wish I knew what i was doing here.

Granted, finishing hitlers dreams.

I wish to be beaten up by a bunch of George Washington clones.

Granted, and they proceed to kill you with axes, stuff you with cherry sauce and eat you.

I wish that Garfield was funny again.

Granted, but then Jim Davis decides to finally lay the cat down to rest.

I wish I had a better sense of humor.

Granted, nothing is funny because your sense of humor is so sophisticated.

I wish that porno was appropiate for kids.

Granted. All pornography is now bad softcore porn that kills any potential boner one could have gotten from it.

I wish the built-in clock on my HP 50G graphing calculator didn't lose synch so quickly.

Granted, now it loses synch slightly slower. By about a yoctosecond.

I wish that BLAH.

Granted but BLUH.

I wish for a moirail.

Granted. But he's an Ax-Crazy space juggalo, who will eventually kill you and all of your friends.

I wish I had tickets for the Australian Welcome to Night Vale tour.

Granted, but they arrive one day late.

I wish I can save Here be Monsters from shutting down.^note One of my favorite iPad games, it didn't earn enough money to provide frequent content updates.

Granted, it becomes the worst example of a freemium game since RollerCoaster Tycoon 4 Mobile.

i wikshb tthr i copyld typw

Granted, but you have offended me, the Typo Master and King of Feraligatrs. I have my army murder you for your insolence.

I wish not to wish.

edited 4th Sep '15 2:50:24 PM by KingFeraligatr

Granted, but because of a wish paradox, you reset the timeline of the universe. Have fun living as an amoeba!

I wish that somebody could birth to Neanderthals. And I also I wish they lived like we do.

You have wished more than one wish, so I can only grant the first one. The Neandrrthals make life Hell.

I wish I could defeat the Moon Lord.