ITT: WHABPPBTWWIAIOPPPITFATCIAAJTS

(That's We Have All Become Prehistoric Pokemon Bizzaro Tropers Who Work In An Intergalactic Office Pizza Place Pantheon In The Future At Troper Con In An Aquarium Jail: The Series!)

"My name's Robert J. Jacobson. The year is 3017. I'm an Ichthyosaurs, or at least I usually am. I live at Time Travel Dan's Aquarium, where all the top deities go to see prehistoric sea life. And eat pizza. The pizza's delicious. Except when Dan messes with time, then everything goes Bizzaro and it's disgusting. Then Jerry, the top god in this pantheon, has to put everything right."

"I used to work as both a warden in the aquarium's jail, and a chef at the cafe. But one day, I turned into a Ribombee out of nowhere, and they transferred me to the office division (It's a really big aquarium). There's a lot more paperwork to do at this time of year, because we're having Troper Con in the aquarium."

Hey, Jacobson!

"Yes, Mr. Dan?"

Stop goofing off and file that paperwork! Troper Con is in two days!

"Yes, sir."

(Laugh track)

i think what i hate most is that we still wrapped wawiao into this

You can't prove I wasn't referencing this.

TITANIS IS BACK AND READY FOR TROPECON

I am Rock Jani, a prehistoric Rock-type Diglett that ended up fused with a Magnezone after a time travel experiment gone horribly wrong. The lower half of my body phased in with the Magnezone's, essentially lobotomizing it and giving me full control of its body, as well as access to its memories. I've only been here in 3017 for a few weeks, and I took this job as a pizza deliverer so I could get acquainted with both the new world and my own new normal.

I haven't gotten involved with the other stuff yet, but it might happen along the way. Too much Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot to coherently mix together. That's enough for my blather, let's see how I interact with the scene in front of us.

Rock Jani flies into the office. Audience woos her. Another wasted run...I mean look at this name: Oliver Closeoff? Cue laugh track. I'm still kinda dim and even I can see what's wrong there. Who's supposed to be filtering these?

Oh hey, Rob. The Warden over there riding you about something?

edited 17th Aug '17 10:31:31 AM by sarysa

I freeze the water around me, trapping myself, then send everyone a psychic plea for help, because I am a bizarro version of the dinosaur that would evolve (normally, not Pokémon evolution) into Blaziken, and thus am Psychic/Ice type.

"Hey Jani. Bad news, I've been moved to the Soul-Crushing Paperwork division. Something about a Ribombee being better at that than guarding a jail. Its Fantastic Racism, I tell ya!"

I HAVE BEEN GIVEN NEWS FROM.......THE BOSS HE SAYS........SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEING FIRED

Uh...the boss surely hasn't seen the Ribombees I've seen...or maybe he's a fire type. Rock Jani then thinks for a moment, before asking... Is there anything below pizza deliverer in this company, I wonder? Contrary to popular belief, sewage specialists actually get paid well.

edited 17th Aug '17 3:56:10 PM by sarysa

Taco, Taco, Tycho, T. Ko, the Dodo, the Krill, Andy the Joltik, Salvatore the Mozzerella Stick Man, and Gangrenous F enter. They look at each other, and in unison, agree, "This seems like a clusterfuck."

Ocat, meanwhile, disagrees.

edited 17th Aug '17 4:32:09 PM by TacoBadger

"Ah, just who I wanted to see. The gods are getting impatient with no pizza chefs. Can you guys help? Also we need people to set up Troper Con."

Oh, hey Andy. Huh, where do I remember you from... Rock Jani asks.

Meanwhile, sarysa and Sam the Cricket are both hacking away together at some other cubicle. The walls are too tall for anyone currently present to see.

"I didn't know you could make pizza by hacking!" I yell sarcastically.

Obnoxious Laughter

Someone has to run the VR Website, maintain the back-end, and so on! sarysa shouts back.

"Fine. We'll just leave the gods with no pizza until they decide zap us, or take a time machine and erase us from history."

Rock Jani asks. Oh, we got another order? Why are you bugging them, I'm the one who's supposed to deliver it. Hand it over...and it better not be from I. C. Wiener this time.

"No, it's from Seymour Asses, lesser god of prank names."

I THOUGHT IT WAS HUGH JASS, HEY LOOK I GOT E MAIL

"What does it say?"

Rock Jani grumbles. I'm so obviously being pranked. As she flies out a window, she says. I swear, if this is another BFWOT... Then flies up into the clouds, where the future gods live.

edited 17th Aug '17 8:11:45 PM by sarysa

"Hey, I have an idea. If I can take a time machine, then maybe, just maybe, I can invent self-baking pizzas!"

Jump Cut to Robert in the jail

"Sigh. How was I supposed to know it was illegal for mortals to time travel?"

Canned laughter

(I look up from the table I've been sleeping at. Slime drips from it. Looking across the table, to my surprise, I see a familiar-looking bespectacled guy in front of me.)

Hey, you're me...! (We both say at the same time. We sit there in surprised silence for a moment.)

I feel like it's been ages since I'm seen myself like that. (I say.)

You like being a Goodra? (He asks me.)

(Before I can answer, I look beside myself and see a blonde-haired woman who also looks uncannily like me.) Who are you? (I ask.)

I'm you if you were gender-flipped. (she answers.) Your human self, anyway.

(I look further down and see even more unusual people. I see more human and non-human versions of myself, such as a Plesiosaur, a whale shark, Plessie, and Destiny, among others.)

Are these all different versions of myself? (I wonder out loud.)

Looks like it to me. (says Normal!Me.) I think Plessie and Destiny are just you in their bodies, though. Where we you when you became them?

I don't think we have time to figure that out. (says Female!Me.) Lunchbreak's over. We gotta get going if we want this place ready for Tropercon.

(All of the mes begin filing toward a door. Confused, I follow.)

edited 17th Aug '17 8:20:30 PM by kablammin45

Meanwhile, a Loggerhead turtle shuffles down the aisle while sarysa and Sam the Cricket type away at. Unfortunately, sarysa!Oersted also comes by to pick up the turtle.

Mmm, turtle soup. sarysa!Oersted says.

The turtle cries out, But I never really got to do anything! Not in the aquarium really either.

Meh, neither did I. sarysa!Oersted says, as s/he heads to the break room to cook her next meal.

"Wait a second. If I'm the warden..."

Robert opens the unlocked cell door.

"Why didn't I think of that before?"

Robert wanders back out, and spot the Kabblammins.

"Hey guys, you're awake! Do any of you know how to make pizza? These gods are getting cranky."

edited 17th Aug '17 8:23:02 PM by TropesForever

Sorry, all any of us know how to make is pasta. (Female!Me says.) C'mon guys, hurry!

(The Kablammins all hurry down the hallway, each one greeting Robert and apologizing for being unable to help as they hurry to their rooms. The two whale sharks and the Plesiosaur are the last ones to go by.)