Overcoming Judgment

I know it is almost natural to judge others and it is natural to be hurt by judgment. I know that most people say that you shouldn't mind what people say but on some people you want them to know that you just no longer care. How do you overcome that?

If you want them to know, then you 'do'' care.

However, bearing in mind that, unless you are extremely wealthy, the entire course of your life can be shaped by what other people think of you, it's probably a good thing to care at least a little. It's just a matter of deciding whose opinions are important and ignoring the ones that aren't.

edited 28th Jul '15 1:53:57 AM by InverurieJones

Well... caring a lot about the judgment of few people, caring a bit about the judgement of a bit of people and caring next-to-nothing about the judgement of anyone else is the ideal, I think. Sort of a sliding scale.

The unhealthy things are when you care deeply about everyone's opinions, or when you think everyone should care deeply about your opinion, or when you think everyone should care deeply about everyone's opinion.

Now, I realize I have given absolutely zero practical advice, but it is sort of a wide issue. :P

edited 28th Jul '15 3:47:44 AM by Cozzer

It's not really something you can practice. It has to be something you feel deep inside. You need to throw away your shame (for the most part) and accept who you are—which doesn't mean not listening to others at all, nor does it mean thinking that you have no room for improvement. It means accepting who you are at your core. What do you like, what are you interested in? How do you like to act? What do you think about things, and how do you prefer to express it?

Again, though, it's not exactly something you can do totally consciously. For me, I just came to a point one day where I found myself not worrying as much about what others thought of me and found myself able to express myself in the way I like to without being as self-conscious about it. Helps to make fun of myself before others get the chance to, because it shows a certain degree of self-awareness that is disarming and generally leads people to be less judgemental about me.

Also, when thinking about those from whom you receive judgement, consider the source. Is this person a positive influence in my life? Do they tend to give good advice for me? Are they someone who generally sticks by me? Are they a friend or a pain in my ass? Putting up a mental filter like that will help you consider the judgement of others in a way that is less bruising toward your ego.

tl;dr: As cliche as it is, just be yourself and try to learn how to be comfortable with yourself. The rest cones naturally then.

edited 28th Jul '15 10:26:56 AM by Odd1

This has actually been encompassing one of my more prevalent personal issues for a while now.

It seems as though I've had an issue with taking the Golden Rule a bit far: it's very hard for me to discount what others have to say about thinks even with the variable conditions and such, and I very deeply care about what people think of the things I do or the way I act and so forth, and have been apt to neglect my own beliefs and interests and so forth as well as putting others before myself. I've been more than aware of the negative ramifications of this sorta' thinking. As Cozzer put it, it's an unhealthy extreme. But it's been near impossible to rationalize the situation despite it being self-destructive and generally prone to making one despise the creative process and such, and dreadfully annoying, if not maddening. There are a lot of self-confidence and esteem things that go in there, but I'll admit, I might actually be pissed if it really does just up and leave me be at a later point - I could've been getting work done, you scrambled psyche!

Of course that's what things like counselors and such are for, but I spent a lot of my early life getting a lot of praise from friends and folks locally, as well as getting lucky online. My worst fear wasn't so much people not liking my stuff, it's when someone says something about my stuff, and then a following listens to that: think the Fan Dumb or such you see under certain internet critics or such. It's silly and such and I may never see anything quite like that in my future, but it's things like that that make me very uncomfortable working on my own stuff lately.

I'm probably just being a worrisome ignoramous of course. :V

Me Too.