General Autism Discussion

Well sometimes i get nightmares, but those usually wake me up, scared half to death. But this guy is basically faking an seizure over an rough year of high school.

Autism causes occasional what look like tantrums. These are not tantrums. A tantrum is an attention seeking mechanism. Children tantruming are no real danger to anyone. They can stop at any time they feel like, and will be paying attention to the person they are tantruming for.

An autistic person is not doing that when they look like they are tantruming. From what I hear, they have no control over it, may be a danger to themselves and others as they flail about, cannot stop until their emotions get under control, and are not paying attention to anyone.

On a completely unrelated note, what you are describing sounds like a very serious anxiety attack, and those are brought about by very serious trauma.

Seconded.

How about being slightly less dismissive of your brother's issues, hmm? Won't kill you.

And, while you're at it... do the bloody research, you lazy twonker.

edited 26th Jun '16 12:43:27 AM by Euodiachloris

A "rough year at high school" has killed people before, normally because they have no support network at home because their family dismisses their problem as not real.

If someone is having nightly panic attacks then that sounds almost PSD levels of bad, sounds like something seriously horrible may have happened to your brother and he's being left to deal with it alone.

What is the recommended method to handle a person you suspect is being abused? Because I'd seriously consider taking that method in the scenario Tanker is describing.

A certain teacher at my school NEEDS to see that breakdown vs tantrum thing.

Oh, I bet. Lots of ignorant parents and teachers have punished autism symptoms rather than trying to understand the condition. One person I talk to has been told by her family to stop being so autistic, and by her brother that she's entered "autism mode" and that it's something she can turn on or off at will.

Fucking idiots.

The standard procedure for handling such is to seek out the advice of a professional therapist or counselor.

Exactly. I wish more and more people did that. Instead we get a lot of people in denial - "autism isn't real!" "autism is just an excuse for bratty behavior!" and shit like that.

For the record; he's in special ed, he has an new teacher this year and he made it quite clear to me and mom that he doesn't like her, and what I've posted last night doesn't happen on an regular basis.

Well, we tried talking to him about it, but his stories are usually consistent or they're about stuff that happened over an year ago (which is something that we can't do anything about). His complaints are mostly about his teacher giving an indescribable, neutral facial expression that doesn't really mean anything to me. He also complains about his classmates, who are either on the autistic spectrum or have something else, irritating him. And he gets the wrong ideas from listening to other peoples' conversations and manages get paranoia from them. Needless to say, it's an month and a half into summer vacation and he's acting like this stuff happened yesterday.

And this is pretty much the first time he started acting up like this over school. From my perspective, it's his classmates being themselves, which irritates him. Causes an chain reaction that's giving him paranoia over something that he shouldn't be concerned about.

You're asking him to do something he manifestly can't. Not "won't". Not "can't be bothered with" and very definitely not something he's willingly choosing not to get. Nobody puts themselves through hell for the jollies.

In short: if the class is not working for him... it's probably because it's the wrong approach to take. And, likely has been for a while. The stress has probably been building for an entire year until *bang*. Just because he couldn't express it before, doesn't mean it hasn't been a problem. Or has stopped being one.

There is also no "should", here. Things he "should" be capable of? Nope: is or isn't. Can or can't. The moment you bring "should" into his behaviour, that's your idea, other people's expectations... of something that isn't.

edited 26th Jun '16 10:56:01 AM by Euodiachloris

Keep in mind, if he's on the spectrum, he probably can't understand other people's thought processes unless they're really obvious. Some people cope with that by assuming everyone else thinks the same as them, but others cope by not bothering to try and understand and assume everyone has really alien thought processes.

And pretty much everyone on the spectrum has at least one thing they hate for no apparent reason. I hate the feel of denim and notebook paper. No idea why, they just gross me out. Something like that might be going on too.

Also, I've dealt with the "blank facial expression" thing. Generally, there's a part of the expression that I didn't see or understand. Like, I have problems telling when someone is giving me a pointed stare. It just looks like they're looking at me.

Like they're drilling a hole into your soul?

No, just like a general "I'm having a conversation with you" look.

Shit, I meant to say "inconsistent" instead of consistent in my last post.

About his class: He got an new teacher who's fresh out of college. Instead of teaching him an few lessons plus some schoolwork, the only work that I see her give him is an news article on a event this week with "Fact or Opinion" questions, counting how many times an word appears in the article, his opinions on said article, asking him what the topic was, some basic geography...and I think that's it, aside from teaching him how to calculate time. And the real kicker is that she doesn't grade him on an percentage scale like his other teachers did, this one just gives him an passing grade (which led to us hiding his report cards from him). I know that they might be more in the curriculum, but the only thing he'll talk about is the occasional trip to the "sensory room," a few board games that they play during free period, a few of his classmates doing schoolwork on the computer before watching You Tube, and a lesson or two. But he actually have to ask for an math worksheet due to my mom saying "no advanced math class, even if he asks for one". But his teacher took it along the lines of no math for him. To be fair, he can do most of that math worksheet on his own, but he'll eventually start asking me questions on how to do it (and then I'll either tell him to stop or just help and explain it to him), which makes me wonder exactly what is she teaching if she doesn't know where's he's at in math?

Maybe you guys need to actually find out what's going on at his school? Also I'd suggest finding some kind of professional who can interact with him and try and work out what exactly at school it is that seems to be haunting him at an almost PTSD level.

Do not ban this kid from math. That is counterproductive to the extreme.

Well my mom banned him from being exported to an regular math class; because while he might enjoy it for an while, it'll eventually stress him off to the point where he's unwilling to attend school. So his old teacher just gave him math that was at his level. But this one hardly gives him any unless he asks for it, but even then it's just one page of questions that he knows how to do around 2/3 of it before asking me.

I think you will need a meeting with this teacher.

A person with autism is fully capable of doing schoolwork per se and should not be prevented from academic study.

Text communication usually works better with autism. Is your brother online?

Edited by IsaacTheRed on Jul 21st 2018 at 2:57:48 PM

One thing about math specifically is that it usually isn't taught with an eye to explain what it's for. Admittedly, I have dyscalculia, so my relationship with numbers is similar to that of dyslexics with writing, but when I had teachers who actually bothered to explain the real-world significance of trigonometry, for example, I found it so much easier than with the teachers who just told me how to calculate the cosine without actually explaining what a cosine was.

We could've had an meeting about this earlier tnis year, but mom keeps postponing it on the grounds that she's disappointed in her teaching methods. We can't really prove what he's saying is true since he keeps saying "I think they're going to do this do me" or "I think they did that." Needless to say, he keeps invalidating himself in front of mom, which pisses her off and gives her an chronic migraine. And if she gave his teacher an piece of her mind, shit will fly. I'm not sure if we'll do an P.T.A. this year, since this'll be his last year and I highly doubt if his classmates will stop irritating him.

About his math skills, I'm fluent enough to bail him out since I passed pre-calculus in high school. The only standards that I have for him is counting money, some budgeting skills, and how to read an few types of equations.

Exactly the wrong way to go about this, I'm afraid. He's using that language for a reason: he knows he can't always be sure of his interpretations of what others are doing. So, he's being honest. Because he doesn't want to lie about something so important.

That this discredits him... Well, tough. He won't conform to how your mother wants him to communicate. No matter how much it distresses him to drive her up the wall. He's trying his best, and blaming him for not being clear (by other people's measurements) and shelving the issue "until it goes away on its own" isn't helping.

That teacher needs a wake-up call, because she's going to mess up like this again, unless she gets told what she's doing wrong. She probably thinks she's doing a satisfactory job. Your brother, for one... doesn't think so. But, his opinion, apparently, won't ever matter when it comes to how people treat him. That's what he's being taught.

edited 26th Jun '16 2:38:35 PM by Euodiachloris

I pretty much agree with this. But our mom is the kind of person who wants the facts before she does something and the only thing he can say is that he thinks or that he isn't sure that they're doing it. But we all agree on our disapproval of his teacher.

Let me suggest another way of looking at this. The teacher doesn't have to be "right" or "wrong", and neither does your brother. If the new teacher's methods are frustrating to your brother then they are, it isn't necessarily anyone's "fault", it's just something that happens sometimes. The main problem is that your brother may not possess the emotional skills to resolve this on his own, and therefore relies on his family to represent him. Rather than approaching the teacher in a confrontational or adversarial way, seek a meeting and explain the problems your brother is having, and ask if the three of you could brainstorm some solutions in the classroom. You yourselves may not know what to suggest, but that's why you are asking the teacher to help, she's the educational expert. That way, you are approaching the teacher for her expertise in solving a problem, rather than accusing her of doing something wrong. I cant suggest anything to you because I dont know anything about your brother's situation, but offhand it sounds like he might benefit from a little more personal attention from the teacher. Maybe a little one-on-one work between the two of them might help him develop a bond with her, and promote his confidence in mastering the new material. Just an idea anyway.