Welcome to the Salty Spittoon

Come in.

~A Robot Appears from the Future~ -I am a robot from the future. I have come to assimilate all the patrons of this bar. I cannot be destroyed. Resistance is futile.-

You beat up a girl? Get out!

Come in.

I can put out fires just by standing next to it.

edited 11th Aug '15 10:59:04 AM by NegaKingKix

Impossible, OUT!

I need to use the bathroom real bad!

That doesn't make you tough. Go to Weenie Hut Jr.'s.

I once dropkicked a guy so hard, he flew straight off the earth.

edited 13th Aug '15 3:10:13 PM by Savaget1337

Come on in.

How tough am I? I once was playing TF 2 when I used the Sandman's ball to knock over a dispenser, right into a sentry nest, making the whole thing explode, sending debris everywhere, which hit the Payload bomb, made it explode, wiping out the entire enemy team in the process. And I was playing Medic.

Head in.

weenie hut is down the road.

I ate a steel pipe. Without any ketchup.

edited 13th Aug '15 4:29:56 PM by NegaKingKix

Was there mustard on it? If not, you can come in.

I was vacationing on Alderaan when it blew up, and I left a day later.

Go right in.

I watched an episode of Family Guy and wasn't offended for 20 minutes.

Sorry, that ain't tough.

I eat my hotdogs with Mustard Gas only.

Put Cyanide on it as well, then we'll talk.

I went through The depression and apartheid. I took it all like a man.

Prove to me you still retained your toughness in your old age, and then you'll get in.

I turned a potato into a hash-brown casserole just by staring at it.

NEXT

Want me to prove how tough I am? -picks up Reg and throws him into downtown-

-Reg is K.O'd by a brick wall with dynamite on the other side. It explodes.-

-The next 100 people can get in before he gets back, starting with me-

-A New Bouncer finds you and throws you out- Nice try, weenie!

-Goes up to Weenie Hut Jr. Pokes it, and it falls apart- This tough.

You killed a bunch of weenies. That's still murder, so you can't get in.

I can get a bunch of cows to compose an accurate presentation of Hamlet.

NB: "It Weenie hut. It always does that. Now build it back up and stay there."

Can I borrow some Pot from you? Because that's both unreal and fucked up. NEXT!

How tough am I? You ever just stand there in the crossfire of a gunfight just to feel like you're alive? Then take a bullet through the eardrum and rib cage, then walk off unscathed by the whole thing?

edited 15th Aug '15 9:18:55 AM by NegaKingKix

Yep. All the time, as a matter of fact. Come on in!

I'm so tough, I haven't crapped in 12 years! I've been holding it in for that long, and I'm still going!

Go right in.

-Ashley shows up at the bar and turns Reg into a spoon-

-Reg reforms and throws her out- No girls unless you're Ms. Cheeks.

How tough am I? I'll have you know I was trapped in a snake pit for two years, and I only impregnated the queen 40 times.

Only the queen? Get out.

You want to know how tough I am? I brush my teeth with steel wool and use bleach as mouthwash. Even the tough must consider personal hygiene.

edited 18th Aug '15 11:21:39 PM by LaughterMostInsane

Use a knife for brushing and Cyanide for rinse. Then come back.

I was born inside a blizzard sharknado. Didn't even cry.

Okay, come in.

*Kicks open the door, brandishing a shotgun and some firebombs* MUCKLE DAMRED CULTI 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?

edited 22nd Aug '15 11:33:59 PM by dvorak

Go right in.

-Ashley casts a hex on Reg.-

What, you think I didn't already have a million curses on me? Little girl, take your sissy magic to the weenie club.

I'm on an all meat diet.

Krusty Krab is that way.

My day job consists of me lifting up to 200,000,000 pounds of steel in just one load with my bare hand while pressing boulders together to make diamonds with my legs for 500 hours. And I don't get a lunch break.

edited 6th Sep '15 10:51:44 AM by NegaKingKix