What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?
The Holocaust.
I think you're talking about Anti-Humor.
How do you get rid of varnish?
Use varnish remover.
Anti-Humor! No shit!
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Muslim walk into a bar.
They become friends.
What's eatin' you, chief?
You know what's better than sliced bread?
Not starving to death.
War is God.
Two men wait at a train station. They both get on the train.
| *Knock Knock* |
| -"Who's there?" |
| -"It's me, Johnny." |
| -"Well, come on in, Johnny. Get yourself a beer." |
edited 3rd Sep '13 8:28:20 PM by SeanMurrayI
What's eatin' you, chief?
Two Irishmen walk into a bar.
They emerge a few hours later slightly buzzed.
War is God.
Electric Heart
What looks like red paint but smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Me, now open the door!
What do you get when you put a knife in a baby?
A life sentence in jail.
What did one eye say to the other?
Nothing; eyes can't talk, you nimrod.
How many Poles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, plus a ladder.
edited 3rd Sep '13 10:13:18 PM by MikuruFan
Tief girl with eartude
John Major was one of many children who chose a more stable career in finance and politics over working as a performer in a circus.
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Avatar Sakaki Ignore cat
Samantha wishes she could fly.
That's why she's getting a pilot's licence.
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.
Mikon :3
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
In Perpetual Finality
What's black and white and red all over?
Any object that has that particular coloration, actually.
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
Tief girl with eartude
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub.
They inevitably discuss the matter of devolution and the union, as well as Scotland's independence referendum, over a quiet drink while watching the football.
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
In Perpetual Finality
A duck walks into a bar.
He elicits a few curious looks from the patrons before being shooed out by the bartender.
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019
Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food?
No?
Well, it's really delicious.
What's eatin' you, chief?
What's fleshy, salty, fishy-smelling, and shaped like a taco?
A fish taco with some extra salt.
War is God.
What's not quite black, not quite white, and smells really, REALLY bad?
A skunk.
Avatar Sakaki Ignore cat
What's black and white and costs a lot of money?
The keyboard of a Steinway piano.
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.
What's eatin' you, chief?
What's lazy, brown, loud, stupid, and expensive to keep?
A chocolate lab.
edited 4th Sep '13 2:10:32 PM by Prometheus136
War is God.
Heyo ladies and germs! Protozoans and Archaea!
The name of the game is simple, really. Start a joke but end it with a plausible punchline or answer.
For example:
A peacock walks into a bar...
Animal Control is called, and the peacock is caught, taken to a nearby park, and released.
edited 3rd Sep '13 8:07:52 PM by Prometheus136
War is God.