Independence Day 2013

It went wrong when MUSLIMS and the GAYS and the NORTH AFRICANS and the TURKISH started breeding and causing TERRORISM. It was gay Muslim North African Turkish Pakistanis who caused the Eurozone Crisis.

Were the Bangladeshi involved in that?

Lies! You're just trying to cover up that the seeds of this whole mess were planted when you guys joined.

Yes.

It was the Gay Muslim Arab Terrorist North African Pakistani Bangladeshi Benefit Thieves With Seven Children and are Single Mothers.

The correct answer of course, is "when we decided to let those bloody Brits in".

edited 4th Jul '13 1:43:26 PM by Inhopelessguy

I think me and Mom are going to celebrate the holiday by eating Mexican food. Or as close too as On The Border gets.

AMERICA

THE MOST AMERICAN THING EVER

... Invented by Europeans.

Most things in America were invented by Europeans.

We took a lot from the Indians as far as our government goes, I've read. It was a while ago, though, so I can't remember the source. Oh wait, it was probably the Lies My Teacher Told Me book.

Really, you can't say America as it was formed was invented by Europeans since they effectively declared themselves no longer European. Or rather British; the actual European parts were sold to the US or lost to Mexico before we ganked the territory.

... When you say Indians, you mean indigenous peoples, right?

Since it was new land for them (like the internet for our chancellor), Europeans weren't accustomed to America when they came here. That's why many of them got infected by a disease. The only symptom was that they turned into Americans. It's also hereditary. In fact, some who were immune still got infected and the disease later broke out in their children. The next generation, the generation of Europeans who were born in America and rarely, if ever, saw Europe, had quite a mass outbreak. There was pretty much no one who didn't get infected. Although it seems to be curable, as one Benedict Arnold could attest.

So, the 4th July is pretty much the "Willfully-Succumb-To-The-Epidemic Day".

We actually had something similar. There was a mass infection in West Germany, so the East Germany government build a wall to keep the epidemic out. But in 1989, that wall got destroyed by a large-scale act of terrorism with many, many, many perpetrators. Every East German got infected and after one year, we suddenly turned into West Germans. I can't remember it, since I was only two years old at that time, but I imagine the outbreak was painful.

...Man, that post looks like something I would write as a comment in one of those Onion-like satire/humor sites I frequent since recently.

That actually does. I really enjoyed that.

@Hopey; yes that's what I mean. Sorry, I'm just too used to write Indians to really write Native American all the time. I do try to be clearer than that.

First Nations, man, First Nations!

First Nations is in use in Canada, but I haven't heard much about using it here in the US.

Well, you should. It sounds catchier.

Native American is the "proper" tern here in the US, but most people still call them Indians or American Indians. Even the Indians call themselves Indian in the Indian commercials promoting Indian history.

In other news, new evidence suggest George Washington himself might have coined the name United States of America.

It's misleading to call US population Americans. If Canadians in Quebec or Newfoundland proclaimed their land "Federal Kingdom of America" or something, they would be known as Americans by now.

Assuming they called themselves Americans and it caught on with the rest of the world.

Well yeah, but what else would you call them?

edited 4th Jul '13 4:01:08 PM by Catfish42

United Statesian

Nah. "Usonian" I could see working maybe, but that's silly.

More like Unionists.

It's like if an Asian country like China named itself "Great People's Nation of Asia" or something, we could call the people their Asians.

We call the "Republic of China" Taiwan though.

I usually call them "Statians" on public forums and stuff to piss them of when they are being eaglelanders of the annoying kind.

Whaddya' call people from the Central African Republic then?

And it does make sense when you realize the original name would've been United States of North America.