Vikings

The show also mentioned multiple times that good farming land is a rarity, which would make the raids even more important.

What they sadly don't show is that Vikings (Pirates in general) weren't just interested in Gold, but in everything useful.

Rare farming land contributes to everyone being poor. If they were better fed and had surplus food, they could trade the extra to other tribes who were starving. They wouldn't need to raid.

Gold doesn't make a person rich. Having the necessities and extras for trade makes a person rich. Gold should be what you use when you don't have anything else. Sadly the real world's too crowded and abused to work that way anymore.

Argh!!! Okay, that's it. I now officially don't like this season. It's not even the death toll. It's that all those arcs are disconnected and don't really make sense for the characters. They didn't properly utilize any of those character, instead they just stuck around for senseless storylines until they got fridged. Gyda and Thyri were both heart-breaking, but they made sense. But this....this is a writer not knowing what he is doing. They killed the soul of the show - and side-lined it's heart. Honestly, would it kill them to give Lagertha some scenes with Thorunn? It's like Hirst doesn't know what to do with her character now that he is through with what the legends told about her.

Who did they kill that was the soul of the show? The propesised Lagertha's death, but it hasn't come to pass yet.

Hopefully it's a prophecy that doesn't come to pass. I'll just have to watch later tonight and see who died this time.

Okay so they handled the Alfred conception plot in just about the worst way possible, in my humble opinion.

So Athelstan saw the light, and promptly turned into a Jehova's witness, WTF?

OMFG

edited 27th Mar '15 8:11:06 AM by JackOLantern1337

Farewell Athelstan. I'm sure everything's gonna be a-ok from here.

Exactly! Nothing about Athelstan's arc this season makes any sense! That was some of the worst writing for a TV show ever! What was Hirst thinking! I suspected that it might happen, but I thought it was because the actor had other obligations...but no, Hirst felt that the character had gone "full circle" and it was the right moment to kill him off. Is he stupid????? There are exactly three characters in Vikings which are not replaceable, three characters he should have hold onto as long as he could, and he just killed one of them. I think I now get how the Robin Hood Fandom felt when they killed off Marian.

They really should have handled that whole arc better. Seriously, he just sees a light and becomes Christian again WTF!!

edited 27th Mar '15 9:55:46 AM by JackOLantern1337

Athelstan should have outlasted Ragnar. I mean, what the fucking Hell is wrong with the writer? Athelstan should have been the guy RECORDING THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING FOR POSTERITY. They had a perfect set up to make him the chronicler for their version of the saga, and they blew it! And Lagertha has a prophecy on her head? Joy. If they kill her, I'm gone. Ragnar WAS cool, but he was never enough to keep me in the show on his own. And he's not really that cool anymore to me.

Lets hope the battle for Paris is fucking epic because if it's not this series is FUCKED

Also now that we've discussed in detail why killing our favorite sexy monk was a bad idea lets talk about the other major event in this episode, the birth of ALFRED THE FUCKING GREAT. I for one was not opposed to him being the love child of Athelstan and Judith. It could have added depth to his character should he have appeared later on. It could have set up a great relationship between him and his father, who is faced with having the perfect son be the child of another man. It could have been a giant secret and led to a subplot about him trying to fight these accusations all his life,only to find out they are true, and have a massive heroic bosd. But nope we had to have it known by everyone just so we could have yet ANOTHER scene showing the Saxons as intolerant bigots who need to be destroyed,as if killing a whole village and then praying in front of a burning cross would not have gotten that across. And then Ecbert's justification for not taking her other ear and nose, my god that was the most fucking retarded thing ever.

The whole scene with the punishment was retarded. Whatever Judith did or didn't do, she is still the daughter of Kind Aella. Punishments like this might have happened to normal people, but we are talking about a princess here. (Never mind that the story of the real Judith was way more interesting. She didn't father ANY of Athelwulf sons for the simple reason that he was very much a grandfather multiple time over by the time he married her and she was barely 14. He died more or less immediately after (presumably she was still a virgin at this point), and one of his sons had the bright idea to marry the widow (which was even for the standards of that time a scandal). But he died too very soon and Judith was able to go back to her father who put her in an convent until another match could be found. Alas that never happened, because Judith picked her future husband herself this time around and eloped with him. Now, THAT's a story which would interest me. Instead we get this stupid scene which let's the show slip even further from "showing violence where it is necessary for the story" to "finding a reason to bring the most horrifying punishments on screen". That whole thing was more torture porn than anything else.

To be honest...I think the only way they might be able to make me love the show as much as I used to be is declaring that the whole third season was just a fever dream. If there was ever a time for a character to leave the shower, that's it. Not that I will stop watching, there is still Lagertha after all, but she and Ragnar are barely holding the show together currently.

Plus like I said, battle for Paris, which from my understanding was one of the most badass raids the Vikings ever pulled off. Plus we still have the story about Bjorn infiltrating a city by feigning death and asking to be baptized.

And I would be surprised if they make the whole thing Ragnar's idea instead of Bjorn's. Which would really upset me. At it is, I don't expect them to handle it properly, considering that they messed up the whole season.

You know how they could have made Athelstan the father of Alfred the Great without ruining his character? And making it totally dramatic? Letting him have an affair with one of the woman in the setting, who doesn't tell him that she is pregnant, though. He decides to go with Ragnar back to Kattegat. The attack happens a while later, long enough that the woman is just giving birth as it happens. And Athelwulf, as ruthless as he is, doesn't manage to kill a newborn and therefore decides to raise it as his own as penance for all the lives he took that day. Maybe Judith even just had a very convenient miscarriage, so next to nobody knows that the child is not actually his.

Here is how I would write it

Judith has an interest in books and stories and the like,explaining how her son acquired such a passion for learning. She shares this with Atelstan. Combined with him being a very sexy monk, one thing leads to another. Judith is pregnant at the time of the affair and shortly afterwords suffers a very difficult childbirth and nearly dies. This causes Athelstan to think it is punishment for his crimes, and thus begins to reconnect with the Christian god,and also praying desperately for him to spare the woman he loves. This act of religious faith is for some reason credited with saving Judith's life, and a greatful Aethwolf names his son after the monk, something that causes Athelstan even more guilt. After the Vikings leave Athelstan stays in Wesex, believing that contact with the Pagans is what caused him to fall into such immorality,though he phrases it as wanting to serve as an ambassador. He tries to reconnect with the lord,and during the course of the events begins to form a bond with Aethwolf, who still has no idea,and is grateful to Athelstan for "saving the life" of his wife and child. Still, Athelstan continues to sleep with Judith, because unlike in the show where it appears to be just some kind of stupid dumb teenage lust,they acutely do love each other.

Athelstan is baptized and does give up his pagan armband,to the delight of all in Wesex,who then embrace him as one of their own,showing the good side of Christianity,something that has been very lacking in the show as of late. That night he goes to break it off with Judith. However she tells him she is pregnant, and that the child is almost certainly his,she having slept with him ten times more often than her husband. Athelstan is devastated. Not only does this conflict with his desire to atone, but it also causes him to fear for Judith's life,the last birth nearly killed her,and her not only having slept with another man,but having given birth to his child will be looked upon even less favorably by god than before. He goes to confession, the priest,again displaying Christianity's more favorable aspects forgives him,but tells him he must go to the man who he has wronged and beg his forgiveness. Athelstan is initially reluctant,fearing what Aethwolf will do to Judith,but he feels she and the child inside her will die if he does not. So he goes to Aethelwolf,who just happens to be in the church, and tells him everything, while begging him not to hurt Judith,claiming that she was "deceived",and that he had hurt her more than anything else that could be done to her. And he begs for Aethelwolf's forgiveness.

Aethelwolf's voice goes low. "I will not harm Judith" he says,"God forgives you",he tells the monk. Relif fills Athelstan's face. "HOWEVER!!",he yells,drawing his sword,"I CANNOT FORGIVET FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!!!!" he yells,plunging his blade into Atelstan's gut. The priest who herd the confusion is horrified. "This man has confused his sins!!" the priest, who very well could be compared to Athelstan before he was taken by the Vikings,yells, as he tires to pry the two apart. Aethwolf, reacting in a PTSD fueld righteous rage, hacks down the man. It is at this point several Wesex soldiers arrive. Horified at what they see they proclaim that they will take the prince into custody. Aethwolf,horrified at what he's done agrees. At this point Ecbert is furious at his son. Not only has the man cut down a man he greatly admired, and another priest,defiling the sanctity of a Church, but in killing Athelsan, who Ecbert knows was beloved by Ragnar, he fears the boy has destroyed any chance at peace between the two people's. Not only that, but even if peace were to be maintained, Ragnar would almost certainly call for Aethwolf's head on a plate,something Ecbert is unwilling to give.

Thus Ecbert decides to fight what he views to be the inevitable war with the Northmen,and sends word to Aelle and Kwenthreth that a Viking invasion is imminent. Just before Aelle recives this message, he is told by a scout that dozens of longships have been sighted off the coast. The Northumbrians conclude the logical,that they are under attack, and resolve to strike first.

In fact the "dozen "longships" are only one. Lagertha has refused to participate in the attack on Paris, referring to Ragnar's decision to include Kalf as a betayal. Due to Thorum's pregnancy, Bjorn does not accompany her this time. She lands at the settlement,which is located a bit north of Wesex in this telling,just in time for the harvest. At the festival she declares herself, "Earl of York",and vows to rebuild her holdings. Just as she is done speaking she is told by a panicked peasant that a massive Saxon host approaches. Resolving not to give up another Earling,and lacking the ships to evacuate the farmers, she resolves to stay and fight, alongside that army of shield maidens that seem to follow her everywhere.

Lagertha fights well,but cannot hope to win against such overwhelming numbers. She is captured,but not before killing Alle's son,who has now grown to manhood. Furious and heartbroken, the king orders all the Viking settlers and prisoners slaughtered. I'm thinking he burns them alive,in a mockery of Viking funeral practices. Lagertha is forced to watch this. Upon hearing of this,right after attacking Paris, Ragnar and Bjorn swear an oath of vengeance against the Saxons.

edited 27th Mar '15 4:58:54 PM by JackOLantern1337

Double posting because the current post was way to long

The Vikings invade. Short version it is a slaughter. Aelle is forced to give up all the land around York to Bjorn, who is proclaimed Earl of York,though he would prefer to kill Aelle and every last Saxon he see's, Ragnar forces him to accept the offer. This,combined with Ragnar's "betrayal" of Lagertha, causes the rift between the two that is seen in the saga's to develop. In addition Ecbert is captured by Ragnar. Aethwolf,who has been released from prison to lead the kingdom is unwilling to add what he views as kinslaying to the laundry list of sins he has committed, and offers to give up a third of Wesex's territory in exchange for peace and his father's life. Ragnar,believing that such a humiliation for Ecbert will be a fate worse than death for Ecbert,accepts. When he returns Ecbert finds Wesex in turmoil,the country in a panic, and the nobles furious at the loss of their lands to the Northmen. Ecbert is broken by all this,and dies, leaving Aethwolf to rule over a shattered realm. Around this time Judith gives birth to a son. Not wanting to risk even the slightes chance of hurting his own son, and feeling that his crimes far outweigh Judith, he allows himself to be cuckholded. The boy is named Alfred, and is dogged by accusations of basterdrey all his life. This gives him a drive to succeed in all things, initially to win his father's approval, and later after he finds out the truth, to make up for the massive loss of life due to his birth.

This episode was the worst of the series and definitely the worst out of every show I'm currently watching. There were, in this entire episode, precisely two moments that weren't utterly atrocious:

1 - The chant the Vikings sing as Floki is about to murder Aethelstan is pretty goddamn amazing.

2 - Ragnar's speech at the end is actually very heartfelt.

Other than that, an utter trainwreck. Judith's torture made no sense (as mentioned above, there is no way a politically savvy man as Ecbert would do the monumental stupidity of torturing the daughter of his greatest ally) and served to even further derail Aethelwulf and Ecbert into a ham-fisted villainy. What happened to the morally ambiguous, fascinating Ecbert of season 2? This is some cartoonish shit.

Hell season 2 and the beginning of this season had a cool thing going with Aethelwulf, the devout Christian who fights side-by-side with the Pagans despite disliking them, and struggles to concile his fervent faith with his new pagan allies. Also, he was a decent Saxon person. And now he's basically a cartoon villain.

I said previously the show was leaning dangerously close to Unfortunate Implications when it comes to the Saxons. This episode just took those implications and made them explicit. The Saxons are genocidal religious bigots who deserve what's comig to them. That's this show's message now. Hell, Alfred the Great, the finest of all Saxon kings is now a bastard son of a pseudo-Pagan. Magnificent. I guess whose rascally Saxons couldn't just, I don't know, produce a good, kind person out of their own? They need the aid of the precious noble northmen to do it.

Might as well write a show about how the Native-Americans were scheming, genocidal bigots to the last man who deserved to be conquered by the colonizers now.

You know, I can only root for Lagertha and King Aelle now. Laegertha because she's a good person (the last of its kind in this show) and Aelle because after this season, he's practically a saint compared to Ecbert and Ragnar.

edited 27th Mar '15 7:25:39 PM by Gaon

Maybe. They might just make one called Apache that gives all the white folk, including the women and children, the same issues.

And why did Ragnar kill that man? In the old days of season 1, a death seeker like him would have been accepted on a raid and given an honorable death for Valhalla. Now? Strangled by Ragnar.

ETA: Bad bad bad bad bad bad episode. The show's just getting more insane and derailed by the episode. We should have seen this shit coming when Ragnar was talking about happiness not mattering.

edited 27th Mar '15 8:17:14 PM by Journeyman

I think at first they were trying to avoid unfortunate implications,namely promoting Christianity, and saying that it deserves to dominate all those filthy Pagens. But as I said before, theirs a reason Christianity won over the old god's, and as far as I know it wasn't the Saxons or French or anyone gathering up an army and marching into the Nordic countries and converting them by force. What they should have done is shown the Saxons as being not so different. Instead for some reason they decided to slam a warhamer into our foreheads. And the whole clash of cultures narrative was fucking stupid. The Vikings did not give a shit about Christianity,one way or the other. They wanted cash and land.

For some reason he doesn't want word of what happened at the settlement to get out,seeing as he lied to Horick's son about it. Yet he apparently forgot that Floki herd the whole thing. Why can't historical drama's get through the third season without turning to shit.

Edit: If anything they should have played up the similarities between the Saxons and Vikings, and given the culture shock prize away to the French because everyone hates the French

Edit 2: It seems like historical fiction shows have something against marriage,or at least it being happy. I mean if I recalled the Tudor's turned Branson's second marriage into a nightmare,and that wasn't even historically accurate. Say what you will about Game of Thrones but at least not all their relationships turn into the couple hating each other. Mind you it's probably because one or both partners die, but it's better than going through this "drama." I mean I haven't watched the last season in a while, but I don't recall any hints the Auslaug and Ragnar's relationship was going down the tubes. And yet at the start of season three they just hate each other because crippled child? Seriously who the fuck taught these guys about relationship's

Edit: Oh godee I just realized there's another Unfortunate implication to add to the pile,besides the "if your being attacked by a bunch of plundering assholes than clearly the problem is you because you are GNEOCIDAL FUNDIMETALIST NAZI RACIST" Now there's the "if you have a crippled child you best leave him or her in the woods to die because it will destroy your marriage. Great job writers,great job.

edited 27th Mar '15 8:46:16 PM by JackOLantern1337

Two points about that: 1. We only see one such child/marriage. 2. There are plenty of real life couples who go through the exact same thing, both the crippled child and the collapsed marriage. I would hesitate to call it an Unfortunate Implication until it becomes a trend in the show.

Plus we DID see some indication, with Aslaug getting jealous over Ragnar talking to that serving girl. This was before Ivar was even born. The lesson should be: don't fucking cheat on your wife and then marry the affair after your divorce. It doesn't end well. Or, Hell, the trend itself seems to be simply "Don't Cheat!"

The truly silly part is that they could resolve both that love triangle and the new one between Björn, Thorun and Thorvi with ease if the writers just did their research.

1) Norse women could divorce their husbands with relative ease for the time.

2) Norse nobility having multiple wives was par for the course, and the only difference between wife and frille was that the wife had a slightly higher social standing - both Björn and Ragnar's children by Aslaug would be eligible for succession, and would all be treated as trueborn sons.

Only the first would hold up. Remember, it DID hold up with Lagertha and Aslaug. Lagertha left and married someone else within the four year jump. Multiple wives? That would just cement Ragnar as a bad guy for a lot of people and push Bjorn there too. American culture still isn't ready for that in its good guys. It's a sign that the man doesn't respect his wife in the first place, which is why Lagertha's attitude was seen as a good thing.

That doesn't really eliminate the fact that, as far as a historical solution goes, it would be the easiest one by far.