Wave of Biblical Epics

I dunno. The story of the REAL Great Flood, of which there is copious evidence for - documented by geologists no less - pretty much all through the lands mentioned in the bible, would make a better story.

There isn't copious geological evidence for a real great flood. There may have been multiple individual floods in seperate areas, probably caused by tectonic events or glacial melting, but nothing like the one described in the bible

There are people who try to use the massive number of flood mythologies as evidence there was one, but floods aren't exactly rare, and there are plenty of cultures that don't have one. Basically every culture has a disaster narrative though.

There is some evidence of one in ancient Mesopotamia which would explain a lot of them.

edited 15th Apr '14 7:06:42 AM by Zendervai

And there's debate about whether the flood of Noah was a global flood or merely a really big local one. There's arguments for both sides.

Isaac Asimov suggested that a meteorite hitting the Persian Gulf could have created a fuckhueg tsunami which might explain it. Not sure if anyone's actually tested it. An actual global flood - to the extent that it was higher than the highest mountains, as the Bible says, is impossible: there isn't enough water.

Part of me always wanted to see it portrayed as an ancient farmer/herder's Tall Tale that gets bigger every time he tells it to his children/grandchildren, and then to see subsequent generations expand on it.

The Bible doesn't really talk of Jesus' life before he turns 30, so there wouldn't be anything to show. Unless they wanted to go Apocrypha.

This?

Some of the old testament prophets really have some movie potential too. Social commentary on the vice and corruption of the age along with a few bonuses.

And they better pick someone scarily nasty to play Jezebel. She lasts for a pretty long time too, so she could be a recurring villain.

Still want Song of Songs. THAT would get bums in seats. And pretty much everywhere else too.

and Yes, I definitely want Elijah, Elisha, and Jehu vs. Ahab and Jezebel. I was bummed when they were left out of the miniseries.

edited 16th Apr '14 3:33:49 PM by shiro_okami

Oh yeah! Complete with the toilet humor! Baal was in the bathroom. Hah! And then cue epic sacrifice/altar/water incineration!

Exactly! How can you make a Bible adaptation and miss that?

I want something, anything, of David post-Goliath.

I'm guessing it's in topic to discuss the Heaven is for Real movie. The kid the movie is about , Colton Burpo, just got a twitter account. Everything in it is insane

"To all those who doubt my story, I was on Fox News. Think about that."

That's from his twitter account. Doesn't really inspire confidence.

But yeah, this movie looks kind of blase. Not bad, just kind of pedestrian.

I saw Brad Jones's review of it. That kid's twitter posts are creepy if you read it in a different voice (e.g. Jack Nicholson, like Brad said).

He sounds super pretentious .

"In heaven you can shoot guns at each other for fun." From his twitter account.

Um...that would be horrible for a lot of people.

"Since I came back, Dad stares right through me."

Uhhh....

"Mom says I came back different."

Errr...

This kid seriously seems kind of unbalanced.

edited 26th Apr '14 3:06:17 PM by Zendervai

I smell the makings of a new Gainax series.

Apparently http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2014/04/25/what-was-fake-on-the-internet-this-week-terry-richardson-texts-mrs-doubtfire-scripts-and-herpes/ the twitter is fake

Okay, good.

"There isn't enough water" is pretty much irrelevant if you're looking at it from a Biblical perspective where God himself caused the flood, because there's really no reason that God couldn't have made there be enough water appear from nowhere until the planet was flooded, and then made it not exist anymore when he wanted it to go away.

edited 27th Apr '14 10:52:05 AM by TheSpaceJawa

I would like to see a movie adaptation of The Red Tent (about the story of Jacob's daughter Dinah). It would have to be a hard-R, but that hasn't stopped people before.

The Noah film was garbage. They couldn't even refer to God, instead only as "the Creator".