Quest Quest

It has been a while since someone made one of these, and Errant Quest III appears to have died!

Whelp, I have a world I'd like to give a 'test run', and I'm in a slightly silly mood, so! Shall we do this? I hope so! I warn you, however, that I will not apply every single suggestion people make: otherwise this'll probably just become convoluted. o_O"

>Start Game

You are in a SMALL CAVE. This SMALL CAVE is quite gloomy, but is slightly illuminated up with numerous GLOWY BITS OF CRYSTAL on the cave walls.

There is a SMALL PILE OF STRAW by one wall, and a small METAL JUG filled with CLEAN WATER in a HOLE IN THE WALL. Unfortunately, the SMALL CAVE is a dead end, with the only available path being SEALED OFF by a SMALL ROUND DOOR.

The area appears to be deserted, save for yourself. Obviously.

>What do you do?

edited 10th Apr '12 1:49:01 PM by Eventua

> Join Alestorm

edited 10th Apr '12 2:47:33 PM by darnpenguin

> Inspect Crystals

>Kick the door to see if it budges.

> Pick up metal jug
> Put metal jug on the ground where it's flat enough so it doesn't fall over
> Inspect hole

(So going to stalk this one. Completely loved Ruby's Quest, even though I only read the archives)

edited 10th Apr '12 3:00:52 PM by Eyefish

> Claim cave in the name of your country.

edited 10th Apr '12 3:08:52 PM by MacDuffy

>Join ALESTORM

You do not like STORMS. Or ALE. Tsk, you wouldn't touch such filthy, filthy LIQUOR with a TEN-FOOT LONG WOODEN STICK.

>Inspect CRYSTALS

You take a closer look at the GLOWY BITS OF CRYSTAL. They give off a faint ORANGE LIGHT that prevents the cave from being even gloomier than it already is. Obviously.

>Kick the DOOR to see if it budges

You do so. Your RIGHT FOOT now stings with the fury of a THOUSAND ANGRY ROLLING PINS. Tsk. Silly feet. The DOOR, unfortunately, just mocks you and your lack of physical strength. Silently. All the more reason to be suspicious, that.

>Pick up METAL JUG

>Put METAL JUG on the ground where it's flat enough so it doesn't fall over

You proceed to do so, and congratulate yourself on your tremendous skill at balancing SMALL OBJECTS on SMOOTH FLAT SURFACES.

>Inspect the HOLE IN THE WALL

It is a SMALL HOLE. In the WALL. There is nothing of particular interest, though it seems to have been intentionally carved out due to how smooth it is.

>Claim CAVE in the name of your COUNTRY

You would love to do so, except your people do not have concepts such as COUNTRIES or NATIONS. You struggle to think of the nearest equivalent to those ideas, which you would suppose would be your TRIBE. Unfortunately, everyone knows that claiming a specific patch of DIRT or ROCK for your TRIBE would be silly because, seriously, where would you keep it? In your POCKET? Pfft, silly HUMANS.

edited 11th Apr '12 5:17:49 AM by Eventua

> Take a crystal away from the wall

> Place taken crystal in the hole in the wall

> Measure readjusted feng shui levels

>Identify your race for the audience.

> Identify your gender for the audience

-search straw-

> Search for way to forge Straw into Straw Battleaxe

>Walks around in Lunar Caverns for five days to find a Dragon's Tail.

>Examine the door

>Take a GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL away from the WALL

You carefully put both of your SCRAWNY HANDS around the KNOBBLY BUMPS of the nearest GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL, and practically tug your heart out. Not literally, of course, that was an ILLUSTRATION. However, you do ultimately succeed in your endeavor and with a soft CRACK the GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL is torn off the wall. CONGRATULARATIONS.

>Place your GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL in the HOLE IN THE WALL

You do so. Ooh, what a lovely shiny SET PIECE it is! Were this, in fact, your HOME as opposed to a CLAUSTROPHOBIC PRISON CELL, you would totally show it off to all of your FRIENDS. If you had any.

>Measure readjusted FENG SHUI levels

You have no idea what FENG SHUI is, though it sounds a bit like a KIND OF MUSHROOM. Since there are no MUSHROOMS in the CLAUSTROPHOBIC PRISON CELL, you assume that this is just your DISGRUNTLED STOMACH being DISGRUNTLED.

>Identify your RACE for the AUDIENCE

You have no idea what an AUDIENCE is, though it sounds like something inexplicably HUMAN, which you clearly are not. Hence the FUR covering your entire BODY. And the large BAT-LIKE WINGS coming from your BACK. And the THREE INCH HORN springing from the MIDDLE of your FOREHEAD.

You are proud to be an ATASHDEY, which probably means FURRY WINGED HORNED PEOPLE in some ODD LANGUAGE. Maybe. Or it's just a RANDOM STRING OF LETTERS that someone THREW TOGETHER one day because why not?

>Identify your GENDER for the AUDIENCE

You're FEMALE, obviously, hence the WINGS and HORN and UNUSUALLY SMALL STATURE.

>Search Straw

You do so. There is nothing of interest. However, the STRAW gets stuck in your FUR and you now look particularly DISHEVELED.

>Search for a way to forge STRAW into a STRAW BATTLEAXE

You attempt to do so, but alas your skill at weaving SOFT FLIMSY SUBSTANCES into SOFT FLIMSY WEAPONRY cannot possibly compare to your incredible capacity for balancing SMALL OBJECTS on SMOOTH FLAT SURFACES. You fail at this grand endeavor.

>Examine the ROUND WOODEN DOOR

It's fairly sturdy and made of WOOD. Do not UNDERESTIMATE IT. DOORS are NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

>Hear a NOISE from OUTSIDE

Something bangs on the ROUND WOODEN DOOR, and a LOUD FEMININE VOICE tells you to STOP MAKING SUCH A RACKET.

>What do you do?

edited 11th Apr '12 9:42:39 AM by Eventua

>Loudly narrate the circumstances that led to you getting stuck here.

>push door
>pull dor
>use straw to pick lock on door
>draw face on crystal
>begin calling crystal "Carl"

edited 11th Apr '12 3:03:46 AM by Savato

>Identify clothing

>Watch Thread

>Ask voice to extend the same courtesy, thank you very much.

edited 11th Apr '12 2:11:12 AM by Enkufka

>Loudly narrate the circumstances that led to you getting stuck here

You decide that, quite frankly, the LOUD FEMININE VOICE is being quite rude! You'll show her, tsk! You proceed to loudly exclaim how you were thrown into your CLAUSTROPHOBIC PRISON CELL because people didn't like your NAME which is supposedly a bit silly. You know this for a fact, despite THEIR CLAIMS that you are instead SLIGHTLY INSANE and prone to randomly shouting things that EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS.

It was that PUD'NAK STONESKY, tsk, you never did trust her. She's probably in league with the DOORS, or summat equally suspicious: of course, no one believes your CLAIMS that the DOORS are secretly plotting WORLD DOMINATION.

The LOUD FEMININE VOICE gets louder and tells you to SHUT UP or she'll BLOW UP THE ROOM WITH HER MIND.

>Push ROUND WOODEN DOOR

You do so. It creaks, but does not do very much else.

>Pull DOR

You have always had a tremendous PHOBIA of DORS: your MOTHER suspects that you are in fact just projecting this PHOBIA on to the similarly named but otherwise unrelated DOORS. Regardless, however, there are no DORS here, nor would you want to pull one. Ever. In any sense of the word.

>Use STRAW to pick the LOCK on the ROUND WOODEN DOOR

You attempt to do so, before you realize that the ROUND WOODEN DOOR has no INTERNAL HANDLE or LOCKING MECHANISM. It is only possible to open from OUTSIDE, due to its being closed with a CATCH on the OTHER SIDE.

>Draw FACE on GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL

You suddenly feel compelled to express your ARTISTIC ABILITIES but realize that you are not, in fact, an ARTIST. Nor do you have any DRAWING MATERIALS.

>Begin calling the GLOWY BIT OF CRYSTAL "Carl"

You would do so, but then you remember that it is ILLEGAL by the PROCLAMATIONS OF THE ONE WHO RULES to own PETS or to, in fact, give NAMES to INANIMATE OBJECTS. Tsk. Sorry CARL.

>Identify CLOTHING

You are currently DRESSED in a small LEATHER TUNIC that covers your SIX CURRENTLY FLAT MAMMARY GLANDS, thus preserving your MODESTY. You are also wearing a LEATHER SKIRT that covers your NETHER REGIONS, thus also preserving your MODESTY even further. The CLOTHES are fairly plain and uninteresting, and there's nothing in your pockets.

>Watch THREAD

You notice a PARTICULARLY THREAD-LIKE PIECE OF STRAW next to the PILE OF STRAW. You decide to wile away a few moments intently staring at it. This is rather boring, you note.

>Ask the LOUD FEMININE VOICE to extend the SAME COURTESY as it is asking of you

You do so, and then the LOUD FEMININE VOICE gets even louder and screams VILE ABUSE at you. You then remember that the LOUD FEMININE VOICE probably belongs to the CELL GUARD in charge of making sure you do not escape your inevitable EXECUTION.

>What do you do?

edited 11th Apr '12 4:59:23 AM by Eventua

>Do your best to escape before your execution.

>remember ability of teleport

>Do your best to escape before your EXECUTION

You definitely think this is a good idea, but you're not sure how to go about it. Maybe you should think of some ideas-

>Suddenly remember that you can TELEPORT

Ooh, excellent idea! Except, um... you can't. Unfortunately, despite your tremendous desire to not DIE HORRIBLY, your attempts to TELEPORT just makes your HORN begin GLOWING FEEBLY and your FACE to take on a CONSTIPATED EXPRESSION.

Whelp, that was THOROUGHLY EXHAUSTING.

>What do you do?

>Take a nap to recover your feeble reserves of energy. Dream of escape too.

>Take a NAP to recover your FEEBLE RESERVES OF ENERGY. Dream of ESCAPE while you're at it.

You decide that it would perhaps be best to doze off, and thus proceed to do so. You curl up into a FETAL POSITION on top of the STRAW and fall asleep quite quickly.

Within your SLEEP you dream of ESCAPING and going on QUESTS. One minute you are a DASHINGLY BEAUTIFUL and BIG HORNED champion of the SEAS, though you've never seen the OCEAN so you're not sure why you dream of it. The next minute you are a noble SCOUT, engaging in battle with a group of UGLY HUMANS. Except, however, you are interrupted from your INCREDIBLE ADVENTURE by the looming shadow of a HUNGRY DOR, its terrible gnashing FANGS glinting with CLEAR SLIME, its RAZOR SHARP CLAWS perfect for turning you into a prized ATASHDEY FUR RUG.

You promptly wake up SCREAMING, which annoys the CELL GUARD who in turn yells at you with her LOUD FEMININE VOICE. You are disliking your stay here more and more each PASSING MOMENT.

>What do you do?

edited 11th Apr '12 7:45:22 AM by Eventua