I want a movie based on conspiracy theories.

I want a High Concept popcorn movie based on all the conspiracy theories floating around the internet. They could call it 'New World Order.' A college professor investigates the murder of a friend, and uncovers a massive conspiracy involving Area 51, the Bermuda Triangle, the Bilderberg Group, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Denver International Airport, Freemasons, the JFK assassination, John Lennon's death, the Majestic 12, the Martin Luther King assassination, Nazca Lines, Opus Dei, Ordo Templi Orientis, Princess Diana's death, Reptoids, Rosicrucians, Roswell, the Rothschild Family, September 11, Skull & Bones, the Trilateral Commission and all the rest of that stuff.

Just so you know; I don't actually believe in any of that stuff. Never have, never will. I think it's all a load of nonsense. I just think that, considering all the hype about it, that it would be a good idea for a movie. I don't want it to be either a campy parody or a preachy, sincere tract. I just want it to be a restrained, well-made summer entertainment movie based on a "what-if?" premise, by a director who is aware that none of the above could actually be true in real life. It would be like The Parallax View / All The Presidents Men / JFK meets National Treasure meets 2012 / Knowing meets Eyes Wide Shut.

Yes, I know it's a silly, somewhat tasteless idea. Yes, I know that the critics would most likely tear it to pieces. Yes, I know that there are conspiracy theorists out there who would take it seriously. Yes, I know that some people, such as actual members of secret societies or Jews might find it offensive. It's just an idea that's been bouncing around my head a lot lately.

I'd suggest making it like Men In Black and tearing apart many of the most ridiculous ones (like the Illuminati).

I'd watch Illuminatus!: the Movie.

Such as.....Conspiracy Theory?

Conspiracy Theory was a romantic thriller. I'm suggesting a satire.

So you basically want Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius or Foucault's Pendulum as a film?

• insert obligatory National Treasure reference*

I'd love to see a film making fun of conspiracy theorists. And then when they inevitably crawled out of the woodwork to complain about how They are just trying to discredit them and make them look like idiots (as if they need any help!), I'd get a lot of good laughs.