WTF news headlines.:

Total posts: [369]
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76 Bur29th Sep 2012 06:42:28 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
...I certainly hope so, though not everyone in the cemetery being dead is worrisome. Hopefully they will be visitors and not residents.

edited 29th Sep '12 6:43:49 PM by Bur

77 Pykrete29th Sep 2012 08:40:33 PM from Viridian Forest
78 NickTheSwing30th Sep 2012 11:07:47 AM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
[up] What...the...hell...?

I mean, why? Why would you...how would you...and he's...why?
79 Bur30th Sep 2012 11:29:21 AM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
I liked the bonus better. It was more subtle, but had even less common sense.
Batman charged with obstructing police in US; they say he wouldn't leave them alone

Oh, Batman, how could you?

edited 3rd Oct '12 3:51:23 PM by cfive

82 Malph3rd Oct 2012 07:48:41 PM from The middle of somewhere , Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
All hail
  • Batman: "Who was it?"
  • Police: "Go away."
  • Batman: "It was The Joker, wasn't it?"
  • Police: "No."
  • Batman: "Two Face?"
  • Police: "No."
  • Batman: "The Bouncer?"
  • Police: "No... who the hell is that?"
  • Batman: "Calender Man?"
  • Police: "Ok, now you're just fucking with us. You're under arrest."
  • Batman: "So it was from inside the police? Was it Bullock?"

edited 3rd Oct '12 8:11:31 PM by Malph

So, in the U.S., randomly stripping is a signal that you want to sing the national anthem? - That Human
83 CDRW4th Oct 2012 02:01:08 PM , Relationship Status: Mu
Okay, this isn't a headline, it's an article. But the first line is "A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals."

edited 4th Oct '12 2:01:12 PM by CDRW

It's called "delta-vee" Jeb, and you're out of it.
84 Bur4th Oct 2012 05:56:58 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
85 Bur11th Oct 2012 08:04:21 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
Machete-wielding man on bicycle crashes girl’s birthday party; steals beer

...Wait. ...What??
86 Pykrete13th Oct 2012 01:18:07 AM from Viridian Forest
87 T-bone6113th Oct 2012 11:43:34 AM from NY Ned Stark Warned You About , Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
[Today's Jo Jo]
[up]Motherfucker beat us there!

HOW'D YOU DO IT, COOKIE

TELL US YOUR SECRETS
88 Bur13th Oct 2012 09:42:31 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
89 DeviantBraeburn10th Nov 2012 11:43:41 PM from Dysfunctional California
Wandering Jew
Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.
JEBAGEDDON 2016

90 Bur22nd Nov 2012 06:29:33 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
"California Man Pleads Not-Guilty to Killing, Cooking Wife"

W-w-wTF?!

edited 22nd Nov '12 6:29:41 PM by Bur

91 DeviantBraeburn22nd Nov 2012 08:46:14 PM from Dysfunctional California
Wandering Jew
[up]

'Cannibal cop' allegedly wanted to cook woman for Thanksgiving
Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.
JEBAGEDDON 2016

92 AFP24th Nov 2012 04:08:40 AM from The Pale Blue Dot , Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
The Great and Wonderful
The best ones are the headlines that use ambiguous syntax or so-called "Crash Blossoms", after this headline:

Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms

The article, if the headline wasn't clear, was about a violinist who planted wildflowers at the site of an airliner crash as a memorial to the deceased.
Quod Scripsi Scripsi (until I use the edit function...)
93 SapphireBlue24th Nov 2012 05:13:22 PM , Relationship Status: In another castle
Police Blotter: Woman finds 200 plastic forks sticking up on her lawn

Found that in the newspaper just now.

3DS friend code: 2062-9374-8116
94 DeviantBraeburn11th Dec 2012 04:29:09 PM from Dysfunctional California
Wandering Jew
'Vulture spying for Israel' caught in Sudan

This is my favorite part:

A similar discovery in Saudi Arabia last year prompted local media to report that a bird, later identified as a Griffon, had been "arrested" under suspicion of spying as part of a suspected "Zionist plot".

edited 10th Jan '13 11:51:52 AM by DeviantBraeburn

Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.
JEBAGEDDON 2016

95 NickTheSwing11th Dec 2012 05:51:59 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
Just saying, that is the most Jewish vulture I've ever seen in my life.

Just a little kinda un-PC humor. Don't really mean it.
96 AFP11th Dec 2012 08:57:41 PM from The Pale Blue Dot , Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
The Great and Wonderful
[up][up] Beat me to it. [lol]
Quod Scripsi Scripsi (until I use the edit function...)
97 Bur11th Dec 2012 09:36:45 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war
98 DeviantBraeburn10th Jan 2013 11:50:36 AM from Dysfunctional California
Wandering Jew
Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.
JEBAGEDDON 2016

99 SapphireBlue10th Jan 2013 03:34:49 PM , Relationship Status: In another castle
[up] Heard about that one. xD
3DS friend code: 2062-9374-8116
100 Bur10th Jan 2013 04:16:46 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

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