WTF news headlines. - Television Tropes & Idioms

WTF news headlines.:

Total posts: [346]

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⁷⁶ Bur 29th Sep 2012 06:42:28 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

...I certainly hope so, though not everyone in the cemetery being dead is worrisome. Hopefully they will be visitors and not residents.

edited 29th Sep '12 6:43:49 PM by Bur

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁷⁷ Pykrete 29th Sep 2012 08:40:33 PM from Viridian Forest

NOT THE BEES

"Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar."

⁷⁸ NickTheSwing 30th Sep 2012 11:07:47 AM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman

BFS Enthusiast

What...the...hell...?

I mean, why? Why would you...how would you...and he's...why?

a new fantasy RP. Feel free to join

⁷⁹ Bur 30th Sep 2012 11:29:21 AM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

Chaotic Neutral

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁸⁰ randomtropeloser 30th Sep 2012 02:03:36 PM

I liked the bonus better. It was more subtle, but had even less common sense.

⁸¹ cfive 3rd Oct 2012 03:51:15 PM

Batman charged with obstructing police in US; they say he wouldn't leave them alone

Oh, Batman, how could you?

edited 3rd Oct '12 3:51:23 PM by cfive

⁸² Malph 3rd Oct 2012 07:48:41 PM from The middle of somewhere , Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature

All hail

Batman: "Who was it?"
Police: "Go away."
Batman: "It was The Joker, wasn't it?"
Police: "No."
Batman: "Two Face?"
Police: "No."
Batman: "The Bouncer?"
Police: "No... who the hell is that?"
Batman: "Calender Man?"
Police: "Ok, now you're just fucking with us. You're under arrest."
Batman: "So it was from inside the police? Was it Bullock?"

edited 3rd Oct '12 8:11:31 PM by Malph

So, in the U.S., randomly stripping is a signal that you want to sing the national anthem? - That Human

⁸³ CDRW 4th Oct 2012 02:01:08 PM , Relationship Status: Mu

Okay, this

◊ isn't a headline, it's an article. But the first line is "A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals."

edited 4th Oct '12 2:01:12 PM by CDRW

⁸⁴ Bur 4th Oct 2012 05:56:58 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

Chaotic Neutral

We live in a beautiful world.

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁸⁵ Bur 11th Oct 2012 08:04:21 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

Chaotic Neutral

Machete-wielding man on bicycle crashes girl’s birthday party; steals beer

...Wait. ...What??

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁸⁶ Pykrete 13th Oct 2012 01:18:07 AM from Viridian Forest

NOT THE BEES

Cookie Monster found on Mercury? NASA thinks so

⁸⁷ T-bone61 13th Oct 2012 11:43:34 AM from NY Fall , Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!

[Today's Jo Jo]

Motherfucker beat us there!

HOW'D YOU DO IT, COOKIE

TELL US YOUR SECRETS

⁸⁸ Bur 13th Oct 2012 09:42:31 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

Chaotic Neutral

C is for Conspriacy, that's good enough for me.

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁸⁹ DeviantBraeburn 10th Nov 2012 11:43:41 PM from Dysfunctional California

Wandering Jew

Pizza deliveryman caught urinating on customer's door

Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.

JEBAGEDDON 2016

⁹⁰ Bur 22nd Nov 2012 06:29:33 PM from Flyover Country , Relationship Status: Not war

Chaotic Neutral

"California Man Pleads Not-Guilty to Killing, Cooking Wife"

W-w-wTF?!

edited 22nd Nov '12 6:29:41 PM by Bur

It didn't pass - it didn't pass - it didn't pass from me. I drank it when we met the gas beyond Gethsemane.

⁹¹ DeviantBraeburn 22nd Nov 2012 08:46:14 PM from Dysfunctional California

Wandering Jew

'Cannibal cop' allegedly wanted to cook woman for Thanksgiving

Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.

JEBAGEDDON 2016

⁹² AFP 24th Nov 2012 04:08:40 AM from The Pale Blue Dot , Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you

The Great and Wonderful

The best ones are the headlines that use ambiguous syntax or so-called "Crash Blossoms", after this headline:

Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms

The article, if the headline wasn't clear, was about a violinist who planted wildflowers at the site of an airliner crash as a memorial to the deceased.

Quod Scripsi Scripsi (until I use the edit function...)

⁹³ SapphireBlue 24th Nov 2012 05:13:22 PM from Silicon Valley , Relationship Status: In another castle

Child of Chaos

Police Blotter: Woman finds 200 plastic forks sticking up on her lawn

Found that in the newspaper just now.

3DS friend code: 2062-9374-8116

⁹⁴ DeviantBraeburn 11th Dec 2012 04:29:09 PM from Dysfunctional California

Wandering Jew

'Vulture spying for Israel' caught in Sudan

This is my favorite part:

A similar discovery in Saudi Arabia last year prompted local media to report that a bird, later identified as a Griffon, had been "arrested" under suspicion of spying as part of a suspected "Zionist plot".

edited 10th Jan '13 11:51:52 AM by DeviantBraeburn

Everything is Possible.

But some things are more Probable than others.

JEBAGEDDON 2016

⁹⁵ NickTheSwing 11th Dec 2012 05:51:59 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman

BFS Enthusiast

Just saying, that is the most Jewish vulture I've ever seen in my life.

Just a little kinda un-PC humor. Don't really mean it.

a new fantasy RP. Feel free to join

⁹⁶ AFP 11th Dec 2012 08:57:41 PM from The Pale Blue Dot , Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you

The Great and Wonderful

Beat me to it.