Our Avatars Were In A Room Together: The RP

Impoundment Lot

(The head comes off cleanly with the swing of Chris sword, and the body slumps to its knees.)

(...Before FUCKING GROWING A WRITHING MASS OF BLACK, WIRY WORM-LIKE PARASITES AND RISING, SWINGING A GREAT, MUSCULAR ARM RIGHT FOR CHRIS)

   You think she'll let me throw in the towel so easily? You and I both wish, pal.   

QU-QUICKLY, TO MY VAN...!

(Yanks open the door and dives in, flopping around and kicking like a great, lanky deer trapped in a small room as he tries in vain to scramble to the driver's seat.)

(YOUTH ROLLS into the van, flinging errant shards of ice right at Smalls.)

The Villa Evil

(Silence... Then. The door rattles on its hinges and sloooooowly opens AND)

WHADDYEW WANT??? WHAT. WHAAAT.

(A... a man with... bizarre eyes and a wrong-looking face◊ stands there, in the door way, looking psychotically pissed and craning his neck at an inhuman angle.)

...Ohhhh CHRIST.

(Disturbed look.)

(Vacant smirk.)

Church

(Savannah DECKS Shirou, right when he was poised to smother her face in a huge dessert cookie.)

HUUUUAAAAAA—! Ghhh... Hey, y'know, that really smarts... Don'tcha wanna make it easy for me and Paula?

   (Paula cackles fiendishly as the bacon sizzles rain down, though Zack and Mob's shields seem to catch most of them.)   

   ...Uh-oh, y'awl... Ah think... Ah just spilled a lil' ＣＨＡＷＫＬＩＴ ＳＹＲＵＰ　on th' graownd!~   

(A viscous, black, sizzling ooze with a sickly sweet and chocolaty aroma sloshes right for Zack and Mob's feet, the heat reaching even from afar.)

(Several pork rinds gather into a golem and rush for Savannah, hoping to take up Shirou's cookizza and finish the grim job...)

i'mma sleep now, but MORE TOMORROW...!

(glances back at Breen, still standing a moderate distance away from said door)

I take it you two know one another?

-Peter finds himself staring, before snapping to attention-

Uh— uhh, we're roleplayers. We're here to join in on your little... RPG shindig. If that's kosher with you.

Ugh! -Backs up quickly, tipping over the nearest table to form a barrier he doesn't have to concentrate to hold up-

edited 20th Nov '16 11:22:36 PM by WonderSquid

-Gets fuckin smashed and flies back into a car, grunting once he hits it-

Nngh, shit...

Wrestling

With pleasure! (Now that grin has become sadistic) Before I finish you two off, let me tell you some facts on Venus. Did you know that Venus has acid rain and temperatures hot enough to melt lead? (seals Blazes and Cop into an atmospheric bubble. The atmospheric bubble begins getting hotter and it begins raining sulfuric acid inside the bubble)

edited 21st Nov '16 9:20:38 AM by josh6243

"I didn't-"

MAILBOX SUMMON

"Ask for fuckin' dessert!"

SWING

-aw shit-

-can't give this guy your real name - that's a sure-fire way to be a wanted fugitive-

-immediately smiles nervously, her whole manner switching on the spot to something obsequious and neurotic-

U-uhhmm... Hi! We're RPG Gamers... uh, my name's... Artemis! And that's... -gestures to Peter- ...Uh, Ben! And this guy is... -looks at Archer for a moment-

...Clark...?

-refocuses, chuckling nervously- A-and we're here to game!

-Reigen has been spending the past few minutes hiding very quietly behind a pew-

...................

-DIOS MIO THIS HAS GONE WAY TOO FAR-

-He sloooowly peeks up from under the pew to see how the fight is progressing-

-Demotte leaps into shotgun-

Hurry, you, specimen with the antlers! Get in!

Ahhh... Ahhhh...! Master, is this something you can help with!?

-Backs up and shifts his barrier down to block off the floor-

The Villa Evil

...I'm— I'm—... Psy...?

My name is John Daker.

...We— we might...? I mean it—... Hello, yes. I am, ahhh... also an RPGer, with these, my fellow, hip, young RPGers, here to have merriment and Satanic glee with me as we partake in th—

OKAY OKAY SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU GUYS FEEL SORRY FOR OL' MAN WALLACE, HUH?? HUH?!?!? DO YA??????

(...this breen-lookin' guy is straight psycho, his voice is all screechy...)

Impoundment Lot

   (Demon Smalls' head tendrils whip out and reach for Chris' antlers, trying to grab him and pull him back.)   

(Fumbles frantically in his pockets for his keys, wincing and cursing in quiet French as he exacerbates his shoulder wound.)

Church of BUTTER Y'AWL

(The searing syrup sizzles sinisterly against the sides of Zack and Mob's shields, but is held back.)

(KA-BONK! Savannah knocks the pork rinds golem into dust. That one was just made out of those chumpy pork rinds that don't have the fat attached, so it pretty much disintegrates on impact. The cookizza crumbles into many pieces, frosting gluing it to the floor.)

(HOWEVER, Shirou has gotten up and is charging right for Savannah, three long, menacing blades of chocolate-dipped shortbread◊ held between his fingers. Oh no, it's—)

Hungry? Eat my BLACK POCKEYS!

   (Paula turns her evil eye to Reigen.)   

   KYAHAHAHA, caught yew lookin', amigo! Yew lahk what yew see, hon?   

   (Swivels her EEEEEEVIL hips seductively as her tendrils fend off shotgun fire from Grigori and a mean elbow-drop from Risei Kotomine.)   

COPBATTLE

(The silhouettes of Blazes and Cop flail around frantically in the bubble, before finally popping it—!)

(...Oh. Oh, uh... They're both skeletons now. Fat skeletons, somehow, like Sans from Undertale.)

...Wow! I can feel the breeze on pretty much everything! This is pretty cool.

...Rrrrrgh, DAMN YOU PLANETMAN, makin' us all NAKED 'n FLESHLESS 'n INDECENT...! But fine. You win, ya nebula-humpin' fruit. Take yer box 'n yer little girlfriend 'n scram.

(The two skelecops rattle their bones and hurry off.)

...That was most fascinating and impressive, Planetman.

(Gab... smiles the tiniest bit and wipes some blood from the corner of her mouth.)

edited 22nd Nov '16 9:34:20 AM by MobileLeprechaun

"... Rrrrr RRRRGH!"

jesus christ she looks constipated

"DARK CHOCOLATE POCKY'S THE WORST FUCKING BRAND OF POCKY, YOU ENTRY-LEVEL TRAAAAAASH!'"

that's it

DUAL WEILDING BATS

one of them has a nail in them scary

and now she's charging Shirou, howling

I — I — uhm - oh, gosh...

-looks exceptionally flustered-

-handwringing and nervous sweating-

First Victory

(watches the skeletons flee before picking up the box.)

(The two announcers were so completely horrified by Planetman's finishing move, they forgot to comment on the situation.)

What are you two looking at? (starts heading out the station before looking at Gabriella) C'mon! Let's help the others out!

...

(looks back at Inbred Breen)

We're not here to make fun of you. We just want to partake in this... ritual, that we heard is enacted in this villa.

Y-yeah, what they said. Perfectly ordinary day-to-day rituals. We are so down with Satan, you know that?

-sudden outburst- Hail Satan!

-blanches-

S-sorry! Just got caught up in the moment, haha...

....................................

-Slooooooowly sinks back down behind the pew, glancing at Mob and giving him the thumbs-up-

You got this, Mob. This is simple.

edited 22nd Nov '16 8:58:03 PM by MacDuffy

Don't even like chocolate... -Does the building still have power?-

Simple... Okay...!

-Tries pushing the syrup back into Paula by advancing the wall towards her-

Church

(Shirou thrusts the shortbread blades at Savannah... Only to have them busted in by the nail bats and his knuckles bloodied.)

Ghhh—! Man... These things aren't near as durable as they look.

(Just goes in to try and headbutt Sav.)

(It does indeed still have power, Zack.)

   KYYYYAHAHAHA—AAAAAAAAAURRRGHHH—!!   

   (Paula flinches in pain as the chocolate syrup sizzles her tentacles and her flying butter mount away.)   

   ...Weyull naow, hon, that's jus' daownright impolite, not finishin' yer dessert... Perhaps yew'd be more keen on sum ｐｅｃａｎ　ｐｉｅ．．．！   

   (LLLLLICKS the smoldering syrup from herself and conjures up a massive pecan pie, wedges flying from it like immense, calorie-laden guided missiles, seeking to destroy anything in their path.)   

Villa Evil

...oh i see. I SEE!!! THINK YOU'RE SUCH A BAD BOY NOW, WALLACE, WITH OWN YOUR LITTLE GANG OF RPGERS, THINK YOU CAN WALTZ IN ON WHAT I GOT WITH DR. EVIL LIKE YOU'RE SO SPECIAL!!! IS THAT IT?!?!?!

W— B-Braless, no, it's not—that's not what you think, we just— I-I just wanted to have a little fu—

FINE. OKAY. you little bastards can come in... come in and rpg with breen here... but i, i WON'T LIKE IT!!!!!

(YYYYANKS open the door, making a psychotic grimace.)

…

(Sheepishly files in.)

(Follows, quietly horrified.)

(David Face.)

Cop Aftermath

(Nods solemnly and files out, looking down at the box.)

...When should we open this.

edited 24th Nov '16 8:09:08 PM by MobileLeprechaun

-Peter goes in with the others, keeping his hand in his pocket, looking around, trying to get a feel of the place-

-Huddles behind his table and Mob's barrier, and tries to pull the electricity out of the walls towards her, likely wrecking the light fixtures in the process and spraying glass everywhere. Easier than making your own magic-

....?

-timidly enters-

W-was that... good? O-or...?