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Total posts: [15]
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Could This Work As A Video Game Plot?:

 1 kamikamiya, Thu, 27th Oct '11 3:50:21 AM from Here and Deviantart
Needs To Do Her Work!
So I have this big, complex story I want to write. However, I also want it to fit into a video game. I'm worried it's too much for one game, so I'm going to outline it the best I can and I'd love some feedback (On the size and in general).

Their were once a race of people called the Oibri-Beocht who could wield magic. When the Britain based Steampunk nation came into their land, both sides acted badly (I don't want to make either side the bad guy, but that'll probably be hard), and the Oibri-Beocht were defeated and it's descendants were assimilated into the Britain-based society, mostly having to take secret mercenary or government jobs (Not just for the Britain-Gove though) for fear of persecution and because their physiology makes them stringer than the average human.

Many years later, in the capital city of Bronzehaven, you play as Ms. Cloude, one such descendant from the Oibri-Beocht, working for the Britain government (she isn't angry at the Britain-based nation because she was born and raised in Bronzehaven and identifies herself with them). Their have been problems going on between the radicals who believe that the growing Tech is what is best and want to wipe out any trace of magic, and the radicals who think the advancing Tech is dangerous and want to violently protect what is left of the magic. Then you have the Alchemists, who believe they are a science but are generally viewed as practicing magic. The Tech-Radicals want to wipe them out and the Magic-Radicals think they could find a link between magic and science, which is a big no-no.

I also want to add in a subplot about Cloude thinking she's a full-blooded Oibri-Beocht, but after seeing other full-bloods and the differences between them, starting to suspect that her father was a human.

What do you think, too complex?

But Don't Forget Knuckles O'Shaughnessy!
 2 jagillette, Thu, 27th Oct '11 4:56:02 AM from the middle of nowhere
Wimpy Mc Squishy
Not at all. This is just fine, as far as I can tell. Compared to a lot of games I've seen, I wouldn't even call this convoluted.

edited 27th Oct '11 4:56:45 AM by jagillette

Yeah, it's definitely not overly complex. Don't worry about addibg additional elements.

Polite smartass.
You're talking about a genre in which mushrooms make you grow to fantastic height, mobile mushrooms are a primary enemy and sentient mushrooms are the main protagonist race. Don't worry too much about it being outlandish.
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 5 Rocket Dude, Thu, 27th Oct '11 10:37:02 PM from AZ, United States
This hat doesn't fit!
^...Don't you mean medium?
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My briefcase. Now.
[up] Details.

Trust me, if you think your premise is weird, there are at least several dozens of games out there with weirder premise.
...Goddamnit, why can't I get normal health questions like the rest of my colleagues? - Pyrite, upon being asked about the meaning of poop.
[up][up][up]&[up]Kami was worried about it being too complex, not weird.

My briefcase. Now.
Then same answer. Just replace weirder with more complex.

edited 28th Oct '11 12:21:42 AM by dRoy

...Goddamnit, why can't I get normal health questions like the rest of my colleagues? - Pyrite, upon being asked about the meaning of poop.
 9 Dark Soldier, Fri, 28th Oct '11 2:39:14 AM from Delta, BC, Canada Relationship Status: What is this thing you call love?
Story in games is tricky. You have to make the setting accommodate the gameplay. The visuals have to help tell the story.
Polite smartass.
Doh, you're right Rocket Dude. I knew the word I was looking for, but I just couldn't place it...
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 11 Tera Chimera, Sat, 29th Oct '11 11:22:23 AM from somewhere out there
Cool Celtic Composition
Technically, I don't really see a plot there, just backstory and setting. Is Cloude investigating the tension between the Tech-Radicals and the Magic-Radicals? In either case, no, it's not too complex. I've seen games that have had plenty more complex plots that I followed easily.

Out of curiosity, what genre is it? Adventure? RPG?
"The Uncertainty Principle isn't about uncertainty and it isn't a principle; other than that, it's perfectly named." — David Van Baak
 12 kamikamiya, Sun, 30th Oct '11 8:28:21 PM from Here and Deviantart
Needs To Do Her Work!
I was thinking an Action-Adventure.
But Don't Forget Knuckles O'Shaughnessy!
Might want to change the protagonists name. Cloude sounds too much like Cloud, which is already kind of taken.
 
 14 kamikamiya, Mon, 31st Oct '11 4:08:21 PM from Here and Deviantart
Needs To Do Her Work!
Would having her referred to in game as "Ms. Cloude" most of the time work (I only called her Cloude in the description for simplicities' sake).

As for specific plot, she would be stopping the Tech side's new line of super machinery (Robotic suits, airships, stuff like that), and on the magic side there'd be a secret organization she'd have to take down including Three to five Oibri-Beocht bosses.

Is that better?
But Don't Forget Knuckles O'Shaughnessy!
I do like the "Ms." and really you could call her anything you like, just saying that you might see a few people calling your work derivative if you start using names that are similar to existing ones (I'm referring to Cloud from Final Fantasy VII, in case you don't know) in a setting with vague similarity to Final Fantasy VII, what with the mixing of steam punk and magic. It's a good idea for a setting though, just making a specific comment on your choice of character name is all.

There are plenty of similar-sounding names that would work, like "Ms. Collete", without being too much like existing names.
 
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Total posts: 15
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