A question about urinals

This stuff about optimal filling up of the urinals misses one important factor: choose the one that keeps your shoe most clean. :)

Well, wouldn't that be the one furthest from everyone else, anyway?

I've heard an exception to the "no talking" rule can be if both parties are at the same stage in the process - both waiting, both washing hands, both drying hands, etc, but never at any other time.

Generally, I still avoid it either way. No, drunken random stranger, I am not going to engage you in meaningful conversation. Or any, for that matter.

Worst I've seen in a urinal was a used condom, and that was in a cinema of all places..

Lemme introduce you to the Man Laws on that:

• Under no circumstance is it acceptable for a man to watch another man piss. That's grounds for a fight.
• Always have at least one urinal's distance between you and the other guys if possible.
• If a guy wants to piss on another guy he better be prepared to die as pissing on another man is a capital offense.
• Illnesses are a non-issue, men are not supposed to be afraid of disease.
• Talking is only acceptable under certain situations such as you know the guy and you are finished. Rarely if ever is it acceptable otherwise. (Do NOT start conversations with things like Jesus.)

edited 9th Oct '11 5:27:45 AM by MajorTom

Note that both parties being drunk enough to have trouble standing, or nearly so, can lead to justified exemptions from the "no talking" rule on the grounds of not being physically able to stop one's self spewing verbally by that point.

In such cases, conversation seldom goes beyond "Ahm fuckin' drunk mate, ye hae'in a guid nicht?" "Aye pal, let's get tae the bar!"

Though I've been known to wax philosophical with faintly disturbing eloquence while drunk, which leads to trouble if I still try and use my drunkeness as an exemption to the no talking rule as above.

@ekuseruekuseru: Not necessarily in case of existing puddles...

I'm pretty sure I've never met a person who would really start a fight over something as trivial as bathroom etiquette.

But it is goddamn annoying when someone picks the urinal next to the one you're using when there are other urinals available.

I've also never heard of anyone looking at another guy's dick while using the urinal, but according to the Internet it does happen.

How would y'all view this situation: one man's washing his hands, one's at the urinal, and the one at the urinal is the initiator? (I only ask cause I just witnessed such and the topic's already here.)

That doesn't change anything; you don't talk in the fuckin bathroom.

That's just awkward to start a conversation while you're taking a piss.

Also kind of gay; what's next, tapping your feet in the stall?

I'd honestly never realised how serious business was talking at urinals till this thread.

Alcohol and mates really seems to be the exception here.

Alcohol yes*; your friends? Not so much

Eh usually in a bar toilet you have had a lot of alcohol so separation is hard. (As previously you've been in the pub toilet and real pubs don't have huge toilets full of urinals.)

I thought you meant talking. If you're drunk, there's a high chance of you slurring and talking shit.

At least in Scotland, alcohol is a legitimate excuse for a hell of a lot, and that includes talking at the urinal. If you turn your head to do so though and end up turning your whole body thus causing you to spray on the guy you're talking to though, you WILL be in for a world of trouble.

If it's a friend or a person known to you, a brief acknowledgement is acceptable but for god's sake don't linger on it.

And don't try to hit on them.

That kinda goes without saying, Kino.

Hey, you've got to spell things out for people here.

True. But I always say in regards to the no talking rule "no conversation will NOT be awkward when one or both men involved have their dicks in their hand" when people express confusion at why this rule exists.

Don't go to many gay bars then?

Well I have a major breach of etiquette to report tonight. I went into the men's room of the local Buffalo Wild Wings tonight (was there for a friend's goign away party as she's leaving for basic on Mon) and I took the urinal on the right. There were three. So this drunk jackass walks in, takes the middle one (which is strike one) and not only that, talks to me. (strike two) Even worse, the motherfucker puts his damn arm around me as he's talking.

I turned, sprayed his shoes and got the fuck outta there. Luckily I left the place soon after, but... WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?

edited 13th Oct '11 8:46:14 PM by MarkVonLewis

Heavily drunk people. I'm surprised that shocked you so much, Mark.

edited 13th Oct '11 8:50:07 PM by Firebert

Firebert: I've never, not even in my most blitzed of states, broke Men's Room Law.