The Sonnet, but I think they assumed I was a guy despite me checking female.
And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?
I am vexed!
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you’ve had some things not work out before, so what.
On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you’re often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You’re the typical “nice guy:” without just a touch of cockiness, you’re doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering back rubs to kids and what not.
Uhhh. -_-;
A little too close to the Nice Guy archetype for my liking. Couldn't it at least be called something charming and cool, like Knight In Shining Armour? At least I'd be able to go, "hah, told ya!".
edited 17th Sep '11 9:14:20 AM by MadassAlex
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Was?
Aren't a lot of chivalric ideals uncomfortably close to dogged nice guy behavior though?
watching down on us
Yeah, because beating up serfs for taxes and having your way with them is "nice guy behaviour".
</pessimistic history joke>
edited 17th Sep '11 9:21:46 AM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
At least you're not a pool boy.
Decemberist
I am The Backrubber, the ultimate doggedly nice Manipulative Bastard.
The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
Was?
Well a lot of "Nice guys" in real life probably wouldn't have problems beating up strangers for money if they could get away with it.
I am vexed!
You have to be French and from roughly the 14th century to get maximum Dogged Nice Guyness. Otherwise, you're at least a little more reasonable. It seems that "honour women" was a pretty common thing, but "love them from afar without hope of mutual feelings" was really just a storybook fantasy thing.
The point was more to do with altering the wording to make it less creepy, anyway. I like my hat.
@Anne: Aw man. In defense of knights, they've got a lot of reasons not to do that. Plus, there's something of a historical double-standard; whenever a period-appropriate text says "This was a pretty cool dude actually", a lot of people are quick to cry propaganda. Whenever it's "He was a complete dick", everyone's all like "WE ARE NOW AT THE HEART OF THE MATTER". Knights weren't the gentlest or fairest people around, but a lot of historians look for a single answer and forget internal human diversity.
I think the "knights were thieves and rapists" attitude belongs with the "ancient Germanics were uncultured simpletons" attitude. An oversimplification based on incomplete evidence and a far too dull perspective on human nature.
I mean, I'm familiar with the joke, but still.
/history derail, GEE THANKS ANNE
edited 17th Sep '11 9:34:16 AM by MadassAlex
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Gristknife
Where's The Noob IHLS(Inexperienced Hopeless Love Seeker), 'cause that'd be a better fit for me.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
'80s TV Action Hero
Sorry, Alex, but Knight In Shining Armour would require a somewhat more energetic, dashing and...stabby...approach to romance than the rather squishy boy-next-door types.
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'
I am vexed!
Well, two outta three ain't bad.
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Reverse the Curse
*shrug* An Aussie accent can make up for the 'dashing' deficiency, in my experience. Nine out of ten American women can't even distinguish between the two.
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
I am vexed!
Aw shove off, it's not dashing to have a girl fight my battles!
And I like how you knew my deficiency right off the bat. ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
edited 17th Sep '11 12:29:58 PM by MadassAlex
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Reverse the Curse
I would if anyone would, I've been on the receiving end of your flirtation. 
I am vexed!
Low blow, but then again, that's your specialty.
... yup. Not dashing at all.
inb4 Moony, ect.
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Reverse the Curse
Awww... *hug* You're still enthusiastic and swordy. Besides, dashing-ness isn't so much a knight thing as it is a phantom thief thing; knights are noted more for devotion.
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
'80s TV Action Hero
And the ability to fight in armour on horseback.
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'
I am vexed!
^^ Which is, of course, a part of the whole Boy Next Door thing. Full circle. :D
Still has too much potential to be the whole Nice Guy thing for my liking, though. <_<
edited 17th Sep '11 1:38:18 PM by MadassAlex
Swordsman Troper — Reclaiming The Blade — Watch
Wait, I thought we could skip the signup.
/edit
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You’re looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it’s sweet.
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you’ve had some things not work out before, so what.
On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you’re often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You’re the typical “nice guy:” without just a touch of cockiness, you’re doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering back rubs to kids and what not.
Yep; this quiz is bullshit.
edited 17th Sep '11 1:41:36 PM by Kino
'80s TV Action Hero
Heheheheheheh.
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'
This is more like it:
Compassionate, loving, and understanding, but only for one business week, you are The 5-Night Stand.
Sex is your primary objective, and you are a skilled manipulator. Therefore, you get LOTS of ass. Most likely, you juggle many women at once; you care about all of them a lot, but each of them a little. It adds up, right? One love.
You’re not dishonest with people, exactly. It’s unlikely, for instance, you’d actually say “I love you,” just to get laid; and you might even go as far as explaining “I’m not ready for a commitment” to a potential partner. Of course, when you say it, you’d smile that special smile, like you two have an inside joke. Her.]]
The secret of your success? Every nice person has an instinct to fix the broken dirtbag within you. Women especially have this instinct, because deep down they want their sons to be evil, a genetic advantage.
To wit, your most likely occupations are stock broker, lawyer, and photographer. You are a hard worker, because power and success turn you on.
“While the breadwinning, gentle husbands of the world are mowing their front lawns, you are literally fucking their wives.
NOT THE BEES
Same. Then again, slow-dancing doesn't exactly count as dancing — I mean fuck, even I've pulled it off. It's basically just grab on and waggle ass together. Slowly.
Actually, just look at my avatar. But with slow ass-waggle.
edited 18th Sep '11 12:01:03 AM by Pykrete
Dark Master of Stairs
Chalk up another Slow Dancer who can't dance.
"I'm not a nerd. I'm a specialist." ~Sousuke Sagara
Indecisive pumpkin
Oh hey, this thread again! Cool!
‽‽‽‽ ^These are interrobangs. Love them. Learn them. Use them.
C'est moi:
The Loverboy Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM) The Loverboy
FACT: You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word “sammenschaft”) as “eternal togethermanship”.
Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships—as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.
You’ve had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You’re a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.
You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you’ll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you’ll surprise her by leaving.
edited 17th Sep '11 3:25:30 AM by InverurieJones
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'