Auties, Aspies, and other CloudCuckooLanders!

My face would look more like Squidward's.

Has anyone ever noticed that whenever there's something even vaguely optimistic about autism, there will be allistics saying that it's "unrealistic" because it "doesn't represent real autism" which is "a constant struggle"

Yes, I've seen that in comments sections of articles and the like. Parents of the severely autistic are most likely to be the ones who say that, but some autistics say that too, saying it doesn't represent their problems.

edited 17th Sep '16 4:01:48 PM by BonsaiForest

It just really gets to me how whenever there's something out there that's even the slightest bit optimistic, and talks about autistic people like we're something other than burdens to our martyr parents, you get comments like that. Can't we just get one piece of mildly optimistic news that's left alone?

Nope. Cynicism runs things in the world now. I dunno if it used to be any different, but I know what it's like now. We live in a cynical, bitter, depressing world. and we're forced to deal with it until death.

Bullshit. It's only cynical if you wanna bring everyone else down to your depressing world view. I see a world with people capable of learning to do the right thing and of spreading that to others, a world where the most interesting things could literally be happening right under our noses, a world where there's so much to learn and so much to do in this short time we have. So what if some people are cynical, they don't run the world.

I wish I could share the sentiment.

Quote: because it "doesn't represent real autism" which is "a constant struggle"

It's like people think autism defines people. Autism is just one trait of many a person will have. You can't predict anything off one trait.

Cynicism is definitely not the worst problem in the world right now. Also, I have not seen it too bad anywhere. At least if you don't count blaming people for stuff as a form of cynicism. I usually count that as a form of racism or sexism or something.

This is a really good metaphor. When You're a Bird in a World Made for Fishes

It makes me feel terrible when I'm pitied by people far less successful than me. No matter how far ahead in education, achievements, or whatever I am than this person, they still see me as someone far beneath them, who needs to be pitied and "helped." I get my achievements used as inspiration porn all the time, but no one ever looks at them as proof of my competence. How much am I going to have to achieve to receive the respect and acknowledged competence that a allistic basement dwelling neckbeard gets?

To the best of my ability to figure, most allistics judge people for what they are like on the outside. Because that is what you see when you look at a person. In fact, most of them seem to think that what they see is the entire person. It contributes to their egos, because they know they are far more than what they see in other people.

If a person is bad at projecting an image of who they are, they will either be pitied, or thought less.

edited 18th Sep '16 1:54:51 PM by war877

But like, even people who are fully aware of my achievements will still treat me as beneath them.

I have an autistic acquaintance who goes to Harvard (who's much more visibly autistic than I am). You could never claim that a student at Harvard is incompetent. And he still gets this shit. A lot of his is "you only got in because of 'affirmative action' or whatever"

edited 18th Sep '16 2:11:24 PM by Cailleach

I was just thinking about that today. We were doing pencil sketches in Drawing, and mine turned out pretty doggone good. Then we have to use the cutting board to cut off the edges, and the teacher showed us how, and I couldn't figure it out. She didn't explain it again so I just went and did it and I ended up cutting a big chunk off the picture I'd worked so hard on.

And all of a sudden I wasn't the "good artist kid" I was the "weird kid who can't figure out basic cutting implements."

I call it the Respect Threshold. When you're good at basic stuff, it doesn't matter if you suck at more advanced stuff, because being good at the basic stuff is the minimum criteria for receiving the group's respect. If you're good at drawing but not making straight lines or you talk with a stutter or you have bad handwriting, you've failed the basic stuff and you— to coin a phrase— don't get no respect.

It's kind of awful that it works that way. I'd imagined that it would be different in an academic setting where people care more about a person's brain than anything else, but, oh well.

edited 18th Sep '16 3:04:36 PM by spacealien

I totally get what you're saying. My being good at academic stuff doesn't matter when I can't follow instructions like "Walk over there and ask that person how they're doing"

It is definitely different in academic settings, or at least less noticeable, especially once you get to an advanced level, which is one of the reasons I'm so happy in academia.

edited 18th Sep '16 3:11:53 PM by Cailleach

I'm watching the Emmys right now. I'm so sick of people thinking that ethnic diversity is the only kind of diversity there is. And if there happens to be one disabled person who shows up (which isn't likely) they'll just be "beautiful and strong" and an "inspiration" and treated like a novelty, completely ignoring the fact disabled people should not be a novelty, we should be represented just like everyone else

I want to see someone like me on TV too

edited 18th Sep '16 5:34:36 PM by Cailleach

I feel like I'm the only socially apt autie here, even though that's not completely true- but all this talk about social norms and being good at advanced things while failing at basic things is ironically making me feel left out. I know I used to be very awkward- I had to be taught to do things like greet people, shake their hands, make eye contact, make small talk, etc. I couldn't even ride a bike until I was 16 because I had a poor sense of balance. These days this stuff is easier for me, and I'm riding my bike every day. But I still have trouble with things like reading body language and approaching people directly. I also don't enjoy certain loud and crowded settings, such as football games. For some reason nightclubs are ok, though.

You're not the only odd one out. In so many posts in this thread and in so many articles that I get linked to, I keep hearing and reading about how so many autistic have it so much harder than everybody else; of how hard it can be to properly socialize and understand normal behavior and just in general act like an average human being. Now, I know I've had some of those problems in the past, but for the last 10 years, I've been working on learning on how to fit in with the rest of society and, you know, act like an average human being. At 25, the only way you could tell the difference with me is if you yourself were autistic, and that's not even a guarantee.

Because of all of this, it makes me wonder at times if I'm 'properly' autistic; if I deserve to be counted under the same label as many others who have it so much harder than me are. Of course, every time I suddenly start waving my hands around and bouncing on my bed when I'm sure nobody's watching and lose myself for a good minute or two is a reminder that this is most definitely the case, but even then, at least I can control it so that I never do it in public. I doubt that some autistics even have that luxury.

The biggest 'sign' of autism I have these days is not being incredibly verbose. If I'm interested in something or have already thought of exactly what to say ahead of time, I can say a great deal, but more often that not, I might only say a short sentence or two when others could start a whole conversation in the same situation. For better or worse though, that's just not enough for most people to tell that I'm autistic. If anything, they think I'm just rather introverted and nothing else. They have to have some sort of previous experience with autism to recognize it, though even then, they still might not get the memo. When even other autistic people can't tell that you're autistic, you really do have to wonder...

edited 19th Sep '16 8:43:57 AM by kkhohoho

Yep. That totally counts. Autism usually becomes easier to work around with age. This is actually true in general. Older people usually have better social skills, improved patience, and an improved ability to persist through work compared to their younger selves.

This is true for the social skills aspect of it. Hypersensitivity to lots of stuff is not something you can practise away.

What does it look like if you sort of fit the mould, but aren't actually on the spectrum? Look at me. I don't like socialisation. Do I have poor social skills? Yes. Due to lack of practise. Do I behave oddly? Yes. I have zero drive to conform. Do I have difficulty sending or reading social cues? Yes. it feels like work. Do I have hypersensitivity to light and sound? Yes. Some. Do I stim? A tiny bit with the hands.

Looks to me like you need to get a rediagnosis. Seriously though, 'if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck.' If you've got all of the symptoms of an unpracticed autistic, then you're probably autistic, and you should seriously consider having another crack at getting a diagnosis; maybe by a different doctor this time around.

Similar presentation, different cause. I'd put money on it.

So there's this person I've been talking to for about a week , and I just found out they think I'm creepy. I thought I was making friends with them, but the things I was doing, only now in retrospect as they pointed out , came off as creepy to them. The thing is I had no way of knowing this! I only found out when they pointed them out ! what the hell am I supposed to do ?!

Autistic people used by gangs for cybercrime

You may have to come clear about having autism/Aspergers and try to explain it. I really can't think of another possibility there, other than saying you've always had a hard time understanding social situations (without telling why), and explaining it that way without bringing up autism.

I guess, maybe one should come out to their friends as autistic at some point. When you introduce a person to a new idea for the first time, you control their impression of it. I think this can be used essentially: when they ask what it means, you can say that it means you sometimes do weird and creepy things, but not on purpose. You can't tell, because you can't read it in their expressions.

I am guessing this would leverage their first impression to cause them to give you more feedback.

I know the above description is inaccurate. If your friends are interested, you can go into greater detail later.

It is kind of like that thing where no one tells you you have food in your teeth at a restaurant. Because it makes them uncomfortable.

edited 19th Sep '16 6:15:43 PM by war877

These people still need to be held accountable for their actions. Autistic people aren't innocent little babies, like the article seems to suggest. They broke the law, and I hope they're brought to justice.

edited 19th Sep '16 6:26:02 PM by Cailleach