People who refuse to beat video games on their own

So I made the mistake of loaning my friend my copy of Final Fantasy XIII, simply because he "wanted to play the series on a new system" and wouldn't stop bugging me about it. So like an hour after he goes home, all's well and good. Then I get the call.

"Hey Tooru, how do you beat the guy at the beginning?"

There are at least four bosses "at the beginning." Off the top of my head I grill him with questions. Which boss was he having trouble with? The Beta Behemoth? Anima fal'Cie?

He responds weakly. "Something-starts-with-M warmech."

A glimmer of recognition. "Manasvin Warmech. Okay, to beat that thing you want to make Snow a Sentinel and have him absorb Crystal Rain so Lightning and Vanille can focus on staggering him. Once he's-"

"Who's Vanille?"

Then it hit me.

Oh my God. This moron was at the very beginning of the game. He hadn't even gotten past the first fight. The one that the game tells you outright how to beat. The one that you can just mash auto-battle and he goes down in like ten seconds.

Dude has a history of doing this, too. I loaned him Voodoo Vince and he couldn't get past the Bone Goliath. I lent him Twilight Princess and he had no clue how to deal with the Shadow Beasts. This guy's a huge jock and to my knowledge has every single Madden game ever made. I recognize that going from football to an RPG or a hack-and-slash isn't the easiest change, but come on guy.

EDIT: Wow, just realized this post really makes it sound like I don't care whether this guy lives or dies. He's been my friend since I was 13 and I work out with him every weekend. Everybody has their faults and it's not like I'm going to stop being his friend just because he doesn't play the vidya gaems right.

edited 7th Aug '11 1:09:45 PM by Tooru

I know that feel bro

I agree it's annoying. It doesn't meant that dense people don't exist, though. Some need more help than others.

And yeah, frankly, in these kind of situations, I'd facepalm too.

Believe me, I entertained the idea that this guy might be a hilarious troll for a long while.

I've noticed this as well, and it tends to be more common with RPGs and puzzle games than anything else.

I think it has something to do with player choice: some people are indecisive when faced with multiple possible solutions to a problem. Or they want to take the super-optimal path, and it's not always apparent to them what that is.

edited 7th Aug '11 12:39:11 PM by TotemicHero

Could be, but who knows? Perhaps you should try to get your game back. Next time he asks for one? Tell him to go rent one and beat the game on his own.

The thing is, I understand that not everybody can beat every game, no matter how hard they try.(everybody has their talents, after all, and some just can't keep up) However, if you don't try, you can't complain.

To be fair, some puzzles are a Guide Dang It!. Although how hard is it to check Game FA Qs, unless they don't have the internet...

edited 7th Aug '11 12:41:32 PM by Hydronix

Well, it is human nature to ask someone you know and trust, rather than rely on advice off a website you've never been to, written by somebody you don't know about.

Which, of course, turns into quite a nasty cycle after a while. Thankfully, most of the people who used to bug me about this sort of thing have moved on to different interests than me.

Didn't say it wasn't, but after a while, it does get annoying. Especially when it's the same person being asked, so there's no reason not to say "figure it out yourself this time", but in a nicer manner.

Baby steps. Start him off with something simpler, like Solatorobo a Kirby game or Solatorobo Bioshock, or Solatorobo something.

We've all got to start somewhere. I'm trying to get my younger sister back into games. Ratchet And Clank was a godsend in that regard, let me tell you.

edited 7th Aug '11 1:08:54 PM by NiftyLostKite

While sometimes this is understandable...

Man, can't people ever read the tutorial text?

Yeah I know that feeling, my little brother always bothered me about it even when he was playing easy games (not easy by MY standards, easy for everyone)

Unfortunately, no. Some people want to play, and don't read, because they want to learn it directly by getting their butts kicked.

It's not even that weird, since we have old-school gamers too. Before tons of tutorials were forced, and all.

They might've played really old games via the Virtual Console. So they're not used to tutorials, and rather would learn it on their own.

So yeah, they don't always read, not that they shouldn't.

I know Solatorobo is the easiest game in existence, but knowing this guy he's gonna find a way to screw that up too.

As long as he's smart enough to figure out how to beat You Have To Burn The Rope on his own, there's still hope for him.

If you want to learn by getting your butt kicked, then go ahead and do so rather than asking for advice in the very first battle that you can win by pressing a single button repeatedly.

edited 7th Aug '11 5:50:53 PM by Clarste

That's... not how people think. Yeah, it's easy to figure out, but it doesn't mean they always do. Unfortunately, there are cases where Viewers Are Morons.(not that this is, mind you)

This tends to annoy me, especially because I go the exact opposite way.

I'll accept advice, but I'll almost never ask for it, and if someone offers to beat it for me my response is effectively "Fuck. Off."

He was using a controller for another console, that's why he's having so much trouble with doing the most simplest of tasks in the game.

There's a reason why some games like Call of Duty are extremely linear, and you just saw why. Some people honestly don't know how to handle total freedom and complexity in games and as a result find Fallout 3 or Oblivion boring or too slow for them, yet can blaze through Halo's Legendary difficulty with ease.

Here on Guam we've got a ton of players that fall on both extremes: either they praise JRP Gs, Defense of the Ancients, and World of Warcraft and despise "mainstream" games (LOL), and others who honestly know only of Call of Duty, Gears of War and Halo, yet have no clue that the Battlefield or Medal of Honor franchises even exist. Finding a player who loves or knows of both is borderline impossible.

edited 8th Aug '11 3:02:59 AM by SgtRicko

I do like call of duty as well as fallout 3...

Althougt, I must admit, I only recently got into COD. Before that I wouldt dare to even touch shooters.

Although I don't think freedom was the problem here considering this was Final Fantasy XIII...I'd say it was the fact that it required strategy, except if he got stuck on the tutorial fight it seems more likely that is was refusing to read.

So this morning I introduced him to You Have to Burn the Rope.

He beat it. After 10 minutes of jumping on the chandelier.

You want to try to make him play a roguelike game?

^^ Well, do those sports games (at least Madden) allow you to play the game without moving the players himself? That may answer your question of his videogaming ability.

edited 8th Aug '11 1:50:38 PM by RiosRider

If someone wants to go ahead and get a walkthrough for every small thing, then they can go ahead. Their choice, I can't tell them off for not playing a game right (EDIT: Remove any spaces in the URL that are in there for some reason).

Heck if I actually answer them when they phone me about it though.

edited 8th Aug '11 2:15:31 PM by MangaManiac