Saint Cyprian Academey Of The Magical Sciences

Okay so I've got this deconstruction/reconstruction of Harry Potter, which is also kind of a family drama about Irish Australian witches.

Also it's kind of meant to be the opposite of most modern young adult fantasies these days, instead of starting out light and becoming darker as it goes on; this will start out Grimdark and get lighter as in goes on.

So any way it's centred on Cyril Brendan Gardner McCullough *

Melissa Niamh Fredrickson McCullough. They're maternal cousins*

^{Or maybe half siblings, Cyril's mother slept with Mel's mother around his conception, in fact the (magical) family tree refers to him as "Cyril the interestingly ginger."}

from a family of witches, although they're dad's are normal. Their family life is screwy, Melissa's father treats her more like a little sister than a daughter, with a bit of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest as well. Her mother pushes her to much, M and C are above well average, but Mel's mother pushes her to insane levels.

Cyril's dad just ignores him most of the time and his mother treats him like he's tainted or something, brutalizing him for every mistake or imperfection. And plus C's parents like Melissa better and M's parents like Cyril more than Mel.

The story opens with them destroying their old primary school in a fit of rage, and their parents send them to Saint Cyprian to keep them out of their hair.

The clan tries to put on a "Good Catholic" front.

So could people ask me questions so I can work stuff out?

And I'm trying to develop a magic system, I have got that you need to have some non human blood to be a witch. Any thoughts?

edited 9th Jun '11 11:46:28 PM by Zolnier

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

New St Cyp thread!

The main difficulty with going from darker to lighter is that the later stuff can undermine the emotional impact of the earlier stuff. Like you wouldn't want the parental abuse at the beginning to be treated like it's no big deal (or worse, like a joke) by the end.*

Not to say that you can't go from dark to light, but it's more challenging. Shakespeare did it in The Winters Tale. It turned out...odd.

Yeah, trying to make sure it stays accesible this time. Either my threads die or two people post on it forever, it's weird. And the main source of increasing lightness would probably be C and M developing from wild, angry kids who blew up a primary school to something that could be could heroes. As well as their little circle (who's dynamic is more like the Dwarfers then the Trio) becoming a real Nakama.

edited 9th Jun '11 10:47:05 AM by Zolnier

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Speaking of them (drumroll) the Anti-Cyprian league.

Edelyn: A female satyr that really get's around (to the extent an eleven year old can) despite her legs, is trying to compensate for being sterotypical by being unique as possible. Hilarity Ensues.

Andrew: A horribly hairy dwarf/hobbit thing, is a sci-fi nerd, everyone calls him Ewok.

Bess: A talking dog, she is not amused that it's the first thing everybody thinks about her, nor is she fond of the second thing. Luckily she's a Irish wolfhound so it's easy to persuade people to back of. Sadly she now has a love hate relationship with scooby snacks.

Peppermint: A troll who follows them around, he doesen't speak, but is not hostile as far as anyone can tell so they mostly ignore him, handy in a fight though.

Colin: Is the identicle twin of Morgan, wishes his parents didn't make jokes about having a spare or that he didn't have to share a room with his twin, it started rumours...

Morgan: Is the identicle twin of Colin, wishes his parents didn't make jokes about having a spare, he started the rumour; seemed like a good idea at the time. He and his twin are C and M's foils*

Also Cyril and Melissa are part selkie, what affect could that have?

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Anyone have any thoughts on horrible old school punishmants? And anyone have any thoughts on how inherent gift sprining from a Witch Species created through interbreeding with magical beings could be blended with rule magic?

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

I see that you are improving in terms of creating your own ideas. I hadn't seen any actual prose from you yet, but hopefully you will reach that phase.

Okay, horrible school punishments. It depends if the school wants to keep as much of their students in one piece or if they want to weed out the ones that misbehave. If it's the latter, look up punishments from both old schools and new schools. For example, there's corporal punishments, where the teacher strikes the student.

But if you want to get magical, have the student assigned for cleaning duty for a few sessions. Without magic.

If you want to get dangerous, throw in some monsters, if they exist in your story.

---

Okay, witch species. Maybe the type of powers a half-breed gets is genetic-like. For example, fireballs could be a dominant trait while air bending is recessive. Or maybe there are witch clans with their individual powers.

Or if you want interbreeding to be more incest-like, if a fire witch has a baby with a fire spirit, their child would have strong fire powers, but also would have a more prominent weakness to water.

So any thoughts on what half mortal witches could have? Not dillution of power. Also which sounds cooler, wands or starves? Also anyone have any tips on potraying non physical or sexual parental abuse? Also does this sound like a good way of deconstructing the "alive" magical school? Saint Cyp's is alive, but it's monstrously evil and wants the students dead. So what affects could empathy via aura vision have on a child's mind?

Also would it be cool to avert No Transhumanism Allowed in a urban fantasy setting? Also how come fantasy stories never have space travel?

edited 9th Jun '11 8:37:36 PM by Zolnier

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

For school punishments you could do things like beatings or solitary confinement which will give a prison vibe but would seem like a "plausible" extrapolation of extreme school punishments. For the rule magic, if they're descended from magical creatures you could establish that they all have to behave in a manner consistent with their fundamental natures and that their offspring can only use magic consistent with the natures of their ancestors, perhaps the stronger the blood tie is the more powerful their magic, but the more limited it is as they have to fit the theme of their ancestor while more diluted blood gives weaker but more versatile powers. If you have multiple ancestors of conflicting or even opposed natures that opens all sorts of interesting doors such as having to act in very specific ways to access the specific type of power they need. Also if you want to move to lighter and softer you don't need to go all the way to sunshine and kittens. Having a conflict that starts as gray vs. gray (or black) and move into a clearer Black vs. White could see one side trying to be more moral but still remembering their darker past or show the descent of the darker counterpart and establish why they fell while the other could pull themselves up and get better. I think that to pull that sort of genre shift off successfully you can't have it be too far removed from the original feel and you will have to show why they've grown and the struggle to keep it that way.

Also this is my first post if that means anything.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

It's probably going to have an Earn Your Happy Ending vibe. And I'm honoured, welcome!

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

I've lurked here for years, but I finally decided to join when I was listening to the Season 4 volume 2 commentary of Venture brothers where they mention Tv tropes while I was trying to type an essay. After joining I went to look at the forums and the writers block forum stuck out so I gave it a peak and your thread had the longest title which is totally not suggestive about me in the least.

I also like helping people out with writing because I've been banned from ever D Ming by everyone I know just because I suggested to another DM that he should make the crabs he gave one of his Solar players in Exalted as a joke into the 14th Death lord after he got them removed.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

So what do you think of the characters?

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Welcome to the forums! If you hadn't already, introduce yourself at the Introductions thread at Yack Fest.

So does this sound like an interesting conflict? The kid's are approached by Baldur (all the god's exist in the verse but they have to repeat the stories told about them in cycles, forever) who wants them to help him make the world better. He actually want's the kid's to trigger Ragnorak for real so he can rule over the reborn world.

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Well its kind of hard to get a real feel for them with such short descriptions, but I see the incest theme as a challenge that could give a big payoff. If incest is common you could use it as part of the darker to lighter aspect, but it wouldn't be easy. If you make incest seem to positive you'll get people thinking they're reading your wanking material, but if you go to negative then it'll seem like a cheap attempt at obvious evil to make them unredeemable without having to put thought into it.

Also if you go with my idea of more magical power meaning stricter behavior and personality you could have the characters breaking out of their strict mental enforcement to sacrifice power for the sake of freedom etc. which is a good way of showing personal growth, particularly if the main characters started as spoiled, power mad brats.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

So any thoughts on deconstructing the idea of a semi immortal being marrying a short lived human?

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

It depends if you want the relation to be the tragic, doomed romance or a marriage of convenience where in the immortal expects the mortal to dies but has been forced into the marriage for whatever reason, tradition, appearances what have you.

If its tragic and doomed then you need to examine why something that knows the person it loves is going to die relatively shortly from its point of view, maybe he likes the thought of mourning someone because it'll be a new experience that he's never got to try.

If it's a non romantic marriage then thats already different from the norm so I don't think you'll need to go out of your way beyond showing why he married and realistic side effects.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

Maybe C and M's mothers think of it as a brief fling? Also any Harry Potter aspects that really need to be deconstructed?

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

A fling is good, but why did she get married? also I can't think of any Harry Potter things to deconstruct right now, but I did like her idea of a Chosen One implying choice on the part of those involved. The idea of a self fulfilling prophecy brought about by free choice tickles my funny bone.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

Well C and M are the chosen ones... the result of Baldur's informal breeding plan to make witches powerful enough to kill the world. And maybe they thought it'd be romantic to have lovers who'd die before they tired of them? Also what baggage could selkie blooded witches have?

edited 9th Jun '11 11:08:53 PM by Zolnier

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

When you say kill the world do you mean destroy it, or to kill some sort of divine avatar of it for whateves? From what I know of Norse mythology Baldur was killed but came back after Ragnorok in the new world so maybe he thinks or knows that he'll just bounce back.

Other delusions of grandeur could go along with that particularly if he's still immune to everything but mistletoe, the plant or the sword(which could lead to an interesting and funny sequence where they try to kill him with sharpened mistletoe only to find they need a specific sword, but then you need to be careful of a fetch quest, although I remember one version of the myth where his mother made everything sign a contract not kill him so destroying that could lead to literally everything killing him for being a massive dick) depending on the myth.

I like the idea of immortals marrying mortals because they want it to hurt, but if they're aware of the fact that they'll grow tired it might be something to look into if they know they'll stop caring but don't want to which is a marked contrast to humans who want to get over trauma, you could see all sorts of self destructive behavior to sustain the pain of their loss.

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

So any thoughts on what witches with mortal blood could be like? And selkie bloods. And any thoughts on magic wands?

edited 9th Jun '11 11:17:07 PM by Zolnier

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Selkies I'm not very familiar with, but Witches in Medieval times were generally reputed to be be the brides of Satan so perhaps marriage to an immortal gives the mortal some magical benefit, whether polyamorous relations give more power might be something to ponder.

It could also provide an interesting abuse metaphor "yes he/she does __________ but just look at what I can do".

As for magic wands I'm not sure, are there are sorts of magical focuses that can be used, what sort of material goes into a wand, are they unique and bond with the owner or can I pick up a twelve pack at the local store?

It's like they always say "Oh God no, please please please, you don't have to do this, please God no I have a..."

Selkies are a very water-tied race, no? Any part-selkie human would probably be similar to a (Celtic style) part mermaid, I'd imagine. Their attraction to the sea could be downright impairing to normal behavior, relationships, etc (I freely admit that I'm getting this from The Secret Of Roan Inish).

Also, staves. HP has pretty much cornered the market on wands.

And chihuahua: This story predates the abused superpowered kids one, so .

Any powers? And does this sound nice and dark? C and M's grandparents are probably the best parental figures they have... But Gran ships them.

Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up... But Is It That Great Now?... Also I'm Skylark2 now.

Staves (staffs) are way cooler than wands. They are mightier, more dangerous and """not suitable for children.""" Childern have wands Only adults have staves, maybe Prefects, maybe staff lessons for the 6th years.

If you want Grimdark and sadistic punishments, make St Cyprian's run by the Christian Brothers and the Magdalene Laundries.

edited 10th Jun '11 8:19:37 PM by Trotzky

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